Posts by nimbleharbor13

restlesspanther1 said:Oh, please, nothing is "starting"🙄

My question is completely valid here... if she actually liked those people at one point, why can she suddenly claim with such absolute certainty that she would never have slept with them?

Don't you dare project your own assumptions onto me.😉
I don't recall ever suggesting her behavior was "unhinged."

It's a different matter entirely if she feels the question is too invasive—that’s her right, and I respect that.

I suppose I misinterpreted the situation. It appears I am being overly protective now. Heaven forbid my future child grows up in such a sensitive world.

Paul Morales3 said:I don't even know how to make her see it. She still looks at me like I'm some naive kid, and she treats me with this suffocatingly overprotective attitude because of it.

There really isn't any need to offer her an explanation. You are entitled to your own independence, after all. It is perfectly fine to let her sit there and grapple with her own perception that you're being ungrateful. If you aren't actually doing anything wrong, then letting guilt consume you would be a mistake, and frankly, you have every right to make your own errors and simply move forward with a bit more wisdom.

restlesspanther1 said:Why on earth 😕

Maybe I’m just overthinking this, but I honestly don't get why she would feel that way 🤷

And there we go, it’s starting...

Paul Morales3 said:As of right now, I don't regret a single thing... if anything, I'm actually glad I exercised some restraint instead of rushing headlong into things or acting purely out of spite, because if I had, I'd be feeling pretty miserable right now about having slept with people I only had passing whims about at the time.🙂

It is quite a fascinating observation. If you express these thoughts at twenty, people might just think you're being unconventional, but if you wait just a few more years, society tends to rush in with all sorts of anxiety diagnoses. Everyone suddenly becomes an expert, working overtime to explain to you how sex and love are entirely separate entities that have nothing to do with one another.

rustymaker5 said:That’s actually a good way to look at it. Especially since your mom is just doing what she thinks is best for you. 🙂 It’s a completely different story when you view it through your own lens, though, which is probably why it gets under your skin subconsciously. But look, you still have a few years ahead of you, especially if you're sticking with school, to build a relationship with her based on actual trust and being open with one another... Don't sweat it too much, she knows you're becoming an adult, and the only thing that might really shake her confidence in you is if you start acting reckless. But if you stay responsible—and looking at everything you wrote here, I’d say you definitely are—then things should fall into place quite nicely. If not, well, eventually you'll just have to cut that umbilical cord once and for all. 🤷

One more thing, though... nobody hands you a permission slip to be happy. You have to go out and make that happen for yourself. 😉

That is certainly an ambitious goal to aim for. However, one must first consider that Mom needs to realize she is an adult herself. To be perfectly honest, I have never actually met anyone who possesses what one might call an ideal relationship with their parents—at least, not by my own definition of the term—though I have certainly heard plenty of people toss those phrases around in conversation.

Christian Sanchez4 said:🤣 I wonder how many parents can actually handle and truly grasp what "open communication" means. 😁 What kind of percentage are we even looking at here? 😁 In my experience, if we are being totally honest, we are talking about a very small group of rare cases.😉

It is quite simply the unfortunate truth. That is precisely why we must hold them accountable for the decisions they have already made, and we should do so with a sense of calm composure. Of course, there are moments when one feels compelled to strike the table with a firm fist just to make a point. They will likely resort to a bit of theatrics—because, let’s be honest, nobody enjoys watching their influence slip away—but eventually, the dust will settle and they will quiet down.

Paul Morales3 said:With my mom. 😍

It really is quite a struggle to achieve true independence when you’re only twenty, particularly if we are discussing financial autonomy, though one might find that relocating to a different city for university provides a viable path forward.

Paul Morales3 said:If I don't get laid by the time I hit 21, I’m starting a whole new thread. 😁

It really isn't such a catastrophe, you know. You will find someone eventually. There is no reason to let this weigh on your spirit right now.

One really ought to be perfectly clear if they intend to have nothing to justify to their mother. It simply does not matter how much good she intends, how much more life experience she possesses, or even the fact that she provides the financial support; she possesses no inherent right to make decisions on your behalf. At this stage, her interference can no longer be categorized as mere protection, but rather as a direct infringement upon your personal liberty. Therefore, I would suggest you let go of that nagging sense of guilt. After all, your mother is unlikely to ever be truly satisfied with your choices, yet you might actually find a way to become satisfied with yourself one day.

Timothy Ortiz2 said:Look, I’ve already said this: I want to actually get better, not just play games with it and feed some sick obsession😁

One should not mistake this for the cultivation of some unhealthy obsession; rather, it is simply the act of bringing to fruition those aspirations one has harbored in their imagination for quite some time. You will certainly find that true healing does not occur through the mere act of avoidance.

Timothy Ortiz2 said:Because he’s taken. They've been together for five years.😢Look, his girlfriend is studying abroad, so they aren't exactly seeing each other every day. But let's be real—it’s still happening.😢

You really ought to settle this matter once and for all for your own sake, because if you don't, you will find yourself circling back to these same unresolved thoughts indefinitely. It is quite simply a necessity for your peace of mind. So, I must ask, do you truly wish to be with him?

Timothy Ortiz2 said:How do I get over this? I’m not looking for typical "just move to another state" advice or anything like that—I want to talk about the psychological side of things. Because honestly, I have no clue what to do with myself.
Basically, I’m head over heels for the wrong guy. We don't have a relationship, and there isn't even any physical stuff going on🙄. But this crush has spiraled into a full-blown obsession. It's not like I'm stalking him or anything🤣, but he is constantly on my mind. I dream about him, and I can't even look at other guys—nobody else interests me. And get this: I see his last name everywhere. It’s not even a super common name, but I swear I run into it every single time I turn a corner😲🙄. It just goes on and on.

The hardest part about breaking this obsession is that he seems obsessed with me, too. He’s always reaching out, sending these 🙄stupid texts, and staring at me whenever we're in the same room.
It would be so much easier if we just stopped talking or seeing each other, but I can't bring myself to do it. If he doesn't text me over the weekend, I literally lose my mind.☕

Look, I know I sound crazy.😂
How do I fix my brain?😕🤷

Oh, one more thing—and no, I’m not some fifteen-year-old kid.😁

He isn't obsessed with you. He sends those texts and stares at you simply because it strokes his ego to know someone is pining for him. He thrives on the sensation of power, knowing he can influence someone's life without having to exert any actual effort or commitment. I would bet anything he laughs about it behind your back when he's hanging out with his buddies. To him, you are nothing more than cheap entertainment. The only way to truly break this obsession is to actually get to know him and realize exactly what kind of jerk he really is.
Having a romantic nature is a lovely quality, but you really ought to consider where this path is leading you.