Obsessive infatuation

How do I get over this? I’m not looking for typical "just move to another state" advice or anything like that—I want to talk about the psychological side of things. Because honestly, I have no clue what to do with myself.
Basically, I’m head over heels for the wrong guy. We don't have a relationship, and there isn't even any physical stuff going on🙄. But this crush has spiraled into a full-blown obsession. It's not like I'm stalking him or anything🤣, but he is constantly on my mind. I dream about him, and I can't even look at other guys—nobody else interests me. And get this: I see his last name everywhere. It’s not even a super common name, but I swear I run into it every single time I turn a corner😲🙄. It just goes on and on.

The hardest part about breaking this obsession is that he seems obsessed with me, too. He’s always reaching out, sending these 🙄stupid texts, and staring at me whenever we're in the same room.
It would be so much easier if we just stopped talking or seeing each other, but I can't bring myself to do it. If he doesn't text me over the weekend, I literally lose my mind.☕

Look, I know I sound crazy.😂
How do I fix my brain?😕🤷

Oh, one more thing—and no, I’m not some fifteen-year-old kid.😁

The same thing happened to me, took about five days to clear up. Then, you know, it would just flare up again every once in a while. But all in all... it passed. Took a few months. Time heals everything, I guess.

From my own experience, there isn't really a silver bullet. It just takes time and finding a new obsession to keep you going.🙂

Why's it wrong? Like, how can you say physical contact is impossible when you're constantly texting and staring at them all day...😕

Honestly, being in love is basically just a mild obsession at some point.
The brain chemistry goes totally haywire—it’s actually scientifically proven.

You really have to give it some time and just listen to your gut, you know? You need to figure out if it’s just a temporary high so you can diagnose the whole thing before getting too deep.

And hey, falling for someone doesn't always mean it turns into actual love. Usually, once the haze clears, you spot one massive red flag in them that brings everything back down to earth.

Then it's just a cycle until the next crush hits. 😁

Austin White13 said:From my own experience, there isn't really a silver bullet. It just takes time and finding a new obsession to keep you going.🙂

I’m right there with you on this one. It’s been two and a half years of this nonsense already.😳

Donna Campbell6 said:Why's it wrong? Like, how can you say physical contact is impossible when you're constantly texting and staring at them all day...😕

Because he’s taken. They've been together for five years.😢Look, his girlfriend is studying abroad, so they aren't exactly seeing each other every day. But let's be real—it’s still happening.😢

wanderingharbor8 said:Honestly, being in love is basically just a mild obsession at some point.
The brain chemistry goes totally haywire—it’s actually scientifically proven.

You really have to give it some time and just listen to your gut, you know? You need to figure out if it’s just a temporary high so you can diagnose the whole thing before getting too deep.

And hey, falling for someone doesn't always mean it turns into actual love. Usually, once the haze clears, you spot one massive red flag in them that brings everything back down to earth.

Then it's just a cycle until the next crush hits. 😁

You're making sense here. Sadly, the chemistry between us is off the charts.👎
He definitely has a few major flaws, but when you're already obsessed, it's way too easy to just look the other way😠.

Timothy Ortiz2 said:How do I get over this? I’m not looking for typical "just move to another state" advice or anything like that—I want to talk about the psychological side of things. Because honestly, I have no clue what to do with myself.
Basically, I’m head over heels for the wrong guy. We don't have a relationship, and there isn't even any physical stuff going on🙄. But this crush has spiraled into a full-blown obsession. It's not like I'm stalking him or anything🤣, but he is constantly on my mind. I dream about him, and I can't even look at other guys—nobody else interests me. And get this: I see his last name everywhere. It’s not even a super common name, but I swear I run into it every single time I turn a corner😲🙄. It just goes on and on.

The hardest part about breaking this obsession is that he seems obsessed with me, too. He’s always reaching out, sending these 🙄stupid texts, and staring at me whenever we're in the same room.
It would be so much easier if we just stopped talking or seeing each other, but I can't bring myself to do it. If he doesn't text me over the weekend, I literally lose my mind.☕

Look, I know I sound crazy.😂
How do I fix my brain?😕🤷

Oh, one more thing—and no, I’m not some fifteen-year-old kid.😁

I truly empathize with what you're going through, and I can tell you from experience that obsessive infatuation is absolute misery. I went through a similar phase once where I was obsessively enamored with someone, and looking back, it never led to anything positive.
It was nothing but heartache and constant mental exhaustion. I honestly regret the amount of time I wasted on those feelings.
Being in love is one thing, but being obsessed is quite another, because that kind of intensity just tears you apart.
My advice to you is this: try to break free as soon as possible, because this state of mind is more draining than any sickness.

brighteagle39 said:I hear you, and honestly, being obsessively infatuated is total garbage. I’ve been there myself—completely lost in someone—and nothing good ever comes from it.
It’s just pure misery and a massive waste of energy. I can't even look back at the time I wasted on those kinds of feelings without feeling annoyed.
Falling in love? Sure. But that obsessive kind of thing? No thanks. It's destructive.
My advice: Shake it off as fast as possible. It’s worse than a bad flu.

👍

brighteagle39 said:I truly empathize with what you're going through, and I can tell you from experience that obsessive infatuation is absolute misery. I went through a similar phase once where I was obsessively enamored with someone, and looking back, it never led to anything positive.
It was nothing but heartache and constant mental exhaustion. I honestly regret the amount of time I wasted on those feelings.
Being in love is one thing, but being obsessed is quite another, because that kind of intensity just tears you apart.
My advice to you is this: try to break free as soon as possible, because this state of mind is more draining than any sickness.

Man, I am right there with you. That’s exactly why I’m here—I need to get past this.😉

What exactly is the issue here? 😛

In my estimation, you won't truly resolve this dilemma until you undergo some significant personal growth—specifically, until whatever he represents to you simply ceases to be a point of interest, or perhaps when you find someone else worthy of occupying that space in your heart. 🙂

Regardless of how you approach it, try to enjoy the moment; honestly, very few people actually possess the capacity for something like this. 😁

brighteagle39 said:I truly empathize with what you're going through, and I can tell you from experience that obsessive infatuation is absolute misery. I went through a similar phase once where I was obsessively enamored with someone, and looking back, it never led to anything positive.
It was nothing but heartache and constant mental exhaustion. I honestly regret the amount of time I wasted on those feelings.
Being in love is one thing, but being obsessed is quite another, because that kind of intensity just tears you apart.
My advice to you is this: try to break free as soon as possible, because this state of mind is more draining than any sickness.

I second this. I lost an entire year to something similar😲, it was awful.
Maybe find a new distraction—working out, studying, something that actually makes you happy. Just stay away from him. Avoid all contact and eventually, it’ll pass like it never happened. Though, I suppose looking for a rebound just to stop thinking about him isn't great for you or the next guy either.😕
So, maybe just focus on a goal. Cut him off. No communication. It won't work if you keep seeing him; you're just feeding the obsession. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.🤣👍

Timothy Ortiz2 said:How do I get over this? I’m not looking for typical "just move to another state" advice or anything like that—I want to talk about the psychological side of things. Because honestly, I have no clue what to do with myself.
Basically, I’m head over heels for the wrong guy. We don't have a relationship, and there isn't even any physical stuff going on🙄. But this crush has spiraled into a full-blown obsession. It's not like I'm stalking him or anything🤣, but he is constantly on my mind. I dream about him, and I can't even look at other guys—nobody else interests me. And get this: I see his last name everywhere. It’s not even a super common name, but I swear I run into it every single time I turn a corner😲🙄. It just goes on and on.

The hardest part about breaking this obsession is that he seems obsessed with me, too. He’s always reaching out, sending these 🙄stupid texts, and staring at me whenever we're in the same room.
It would be so much easier if we just stopped talking or seeing each other, but I can't bring myself to do it. If he doesn't text me over the weekend, I literally lose my mind.☕

Look, I know I sound crazy.😂
How do I fix my brain?😕🤷

Oh, one more thing—and no, I’m not some fifteen-year-old kid.😁

He isn't obsessed with you. He sends those texts and stares at you simply because it strokes his ego to know someone is pining for him. He thrives on the sensation of power, knowing he can influence someone's life without having to exert any actual effort or commitment. I would bet anything he laughs about it behind your back when he's hanging out with his buddies. To him, you are nothing more than cheap entertainment. The only way to truly break this obsession is to actually get to know him and realize exactly what kind of jerk he really is.
Having a romantic nature is a lovely quality, but you really ought to consider where this path is leading you.

nimbleharbor13 said:He isn't obsessed with you. He sends those texts and stares at you simply because it strokes his ego to know someone is pining for him. He thrives on the sensation of power, knowing he can influence someone's life without having to exert any actual effort or commitment. I would bet anything he laughs about it behind your back when he's hanging out with his buddies. To him, you are nothing more than cheap entertainment. The only way to truly break this obsession is to actually get to know him and realize exactly what kind of jerk he really is.
Having a romantic nature is a lovely quality, but you really ought to consider where this path is leading you.

Look, he isn't laughing with his friends because he doesn't even realize I'm obsessed. I never text him first, I never seek him out, and I don't even return his stares—I just happen to notice him staring at me. And yeah, I know him. I wouldn't be stuck like this if we hadn't been friends before.
And no, I'm not some hopeless romantic. I know exactly how messy this situation is, which is why I'm trying so hard to get over him.

Look, given the fundamental biological differences between men and women, it should be incredibly simple to explain to him that he doesn't need a girlfriend living halfway across the country. He shouldn't even have to break a sweat making the point.🙄

Timothy Ortiz2 said:Because he’s taken. They've been together for five years.😢Look, his girlfriend is studying abroad, so they aren't exactly seeing each other every day. But let's be real—it’s still happening.😢

You really ought to settle this matter once and for all for your own sake, because if you don't, you will find yourself circling back to these same unresolved thoughts indefinitely. It is quite simply a necessity for your peace of mind. So, I must ask, do you truly wish to be with him?

Emily Gonzalez51 said:Look, given the fundamental biological differences between men and women, it should be incredibly simple to explain to him that he doesn't need a girlfriend living halfway across the country. He shouldn't even have to break a sweat making the point.🙄

Yeah, I get it. You're right, she probably could—but I’m staying out of this one. It’s a five-year relationship, and if you ask me, it was already circling the drain anyway.

nimbleharbor13 said:You really ought to settle this matter once and for all for your own sake, because if you don't, you will find yourself circling back to these same unresolved thoughts indefinitely. It is quite simply a necessity for your peace of mind. So, I must ask, do you truly wish to be with him?

I get that, but how? You really think I should say something to him?
I checked out of that whole situation a long time ago. Honestly, I think it's better if I don't say a word and just focus on finding myself again😁.
Do I want to be with him? I have no clue. One minute I wanted it, the next I wasn't sure, and now I'm just in this headspace where I want to drop everything and kill this obsession once and for all. But I've been in this phase before🤣. The issue is, I try to dodge him and ignore his texts, but then I'll run into him by chance somewhere, he'll send me another message, and I'm right back at square one. And avoiding him isn't exactly easy when you live in a small town like this—I'm bound to cross paths with him eventually👎

Good grief, she claims she wants to move on, yet she hasn't even attempted a single thing. For heaven's sake, let him at least reject you first—don't be such a coward.😛

All joking aside, his girlfriend is clearly the source of your misery. Look, if he were actually devoted to her, he wouldn't be blowing up your phone. Either he’s one of those guys who can't stay faithful, or he's genuinely smitten with you. There isn't any other logical conclusion.