Posts by shadowviper6

Just thinking about those little citrus seeds and some juicy oranges, maybe paired with a bit of fresh cabbage 😁

I truly believe that when we look at the way people interact online, there’s a certain rhythm to it that often gets overlooked, much like how one might appreciate the steady, predictable hum of a high-end espresso machine in a quiet Seattle cafe during a rainy Tuesday morning. It strikes me that discussions often move too quickly, skipping over the subtle nuances that make a conversation actually worth having, though I suppose that is just the nature of the digital age, isn't it? One finds themselves drifting from one topic to another, much like a slow-moving stream winding through the rolling hills of Virginia, finding its own path regardless of the obstacles in its way. There is a certain peace to be found in taking one's time to articulate a thought fully, ensuring that every syllable carries its intended weight, rather than rushing toward a conclusion that may not even be necessary in the grand scheme of things. It is quite a lovely way to exist, really, if one simply chooses to embrace the slower tempo of life. kaže:
It would all be possible, really, if you could just find that inner resolve to stop being so obsessed with everything else and actually decide that you want to lose weight—and I mean truly, deeply want to do it, not for some external pressure or because someone else expects it, but purely for yourself and your own long-term health.
I certainly won't be stepping in to offer any unsolicited advice on how you ought to manage your weight loss journey, mostly because I am entirely convinced that you have already devoured every health book on the shelf and experimented with every single diet plan currently available on the market, so there isn't much left for me to contribute to that particular endeavor anyway, and besides, that really isn't what we are here to discuss.

I can offer you one relatively simple piece of advice, though it requires some genuine introspection, because you really need to sit down and discover for yourself the underlying reason behind this obsession—or more accurately, why you feel the need to "punish" yourself through overeating. You have to uncover that specific motivation for why you should stop this cycle of self-sabotage, and if you find that you simply cannot pinpoint a reason, well, it isn't exactly the end of the world, is it? There are plenty of happy people out there living full lives while carrying a few extra pounds, and perhaps you might just be one of those people too. You shouldn't let some arbitrary beauty standards pushed by Hollywood or mainstream media dictate whether you feel the need to lose weight, because at the end of the day, whether you choose to change your physique or stay exactly as you are is entirely up to you, and that choice is what truly defines looking good.😉

Once you’ve taken a moment for some truly honest self-reflection—and I mean that deep, quiet kind of soul-searching where you aren't making excuses anymore—and you realize that you actually do want to lose some weight, I am absolutely certain that you will succeed, though I believe the secret lies in the motivation being purely internal rather than trying to satisfy anyone else's expectations. 😉

Best of luck to you, though I truly hope you can eventually find a way to move past this little fixation and stop being so incredibly obsessive about it.🙂

First off, I really wanted to say thank you.😉

Moving forward.🙏The thing is, I genuinely feel like I look great, both to myself and to everyone else around me, and I don't say that to sound conceited or anything, it’s just a simple matter of being quite happy with my appearance. The real issue used to crop up whenever I would overindulge at dinner, because it felt like within a mere few minutes of finishing a meal, I would suddenly look as though I had gained five pounds overnight, which is a rather peculiar sensation to navigate.😲I suppose I’ve reached that point where I’m just standing here making a complete fool of myself, though I have to admit there is a certain quiet, understated charm in being able to laugh at one's own absurdity.🤣So, that really is the heart of the matter, isn't it? It all comes down to that one central issue, which, when you sit back and actually contemplate the sheer scale of it, feels like the primary knot we have to untangle if we ever want to see any real progress. I suppose it might be worth taking a moment to introduce myself properly to everyone here, though I’ve always found that a person’s true character tends to reveal itself more through their actions and ongoing discussions than through a mere list of biographical bullet points, yet here we are. I find myself quite enjoying the intellectual ebb and flow of this community, which feels remarkably similar to those quiet, contemplative afternoons one might spend tucked away in a corner of a public library in Seattle or perhaps sipping a coffee while watching the bustle of a Chicago street corner. I am someone who deeply appreciates the nuances of life, the little details that most people tend to overlook in their frantic rush toward the next big milestone, and I believe there is an inherent beauty in slowing down to examine the architecture of an idea or the subtle shifts in a social trend. My outlook on things is generally quite bright—I truly believe that if we approach our interactions with a sense of curiosity and a steady hand, we can navigate just about any complexity that comes our way—and I look forward to contributing my own modest perspectives to our collective dialogue as we move forward together. It’s funny how certain people just seem to be wired with this relentless, obsessive sort of nature, isn't it? I was thinking about this the other day while watching a documentary on high-stakes entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley, and it struck me that some individuals possess this almost supernatural capacity to fixate on a single goal until it becomes their entire universe. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, though it can certainly look a bit intense from the outside, but there is a certain quiet power in that kind of singular focus. You see it in the way top-tier athletes train in places like Austin or Seattle, where they aren't just practicing, they are practically living and breathing their craft every waking second. It’s a deep, driving compulsion that pushes them past what most people would consider reasonable limits, and honestly, while it might seem exhausting to witness, I truly believe that this specific type of obsession is exactly what separates the dreamers from the people who actually move the needle in this country.

Honestly, I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed anymore, though perhaps "obsessed" is a bit strong, because what I really mean is that I’ve finally managed to find this quiet sense of inner strength and willpower that just wasn't there before. It is a rather pleasant feeling, actually, to realize that if I decided to go on a diet right now—just as a hypothetical example, mind you, since I don't actually feel the need to lose weight at all—I wouldn't be consumed by this frantic, overwhelming fixation on food. I could simply drop a few pounds and move on with my life, which is quite a liberating thought, but again, that is purely a theoretical scenario because I truly feel I have no desire or necessity to change my body at this stage.😁So, I finally managed to find this little spark within myself, a certain strength that just took over, and honestly, it was quite a transformative moment for me. I’m not even worried anymore about the possibility of that old obsession creeping back into my life, because I can feel it deep down—there is this distinct, unmistakable sense that something fundamental has shifted inside my mind, turning everything around in a way that feels permanent and strangely peaceful.😁

I truly believe that finally speaking my truth out loud in a space like this has been a massive turning point for me, because for the longest time, I was just stuck in this endless loop of denial where I kept telling myself that everything was perfectly fine. I would constantly convince myself that I wasn't actually obsessed with food, but that it was all just some sort of trick my mind was playing on me, which is such a common trap to fall into when you’re struggling with these kinds of thoughts. It’s funny how we can be so incredibly self-deceptive, but once I finally stopped fighting the reality of the situation and admitted what was actually happening, the fog finally started to lift and I realized just how deep of a hole I had actually dug for myself. They really aren't kidding when they say that honesty is the first step toward healing. Admitting that there is actually a problem is truly the very first step toward any kind of meaningful healing. It sounds simple enough, I know, but in practice, it is often one of the most difficult hurdles anyone will ever face because facing the truth requires a certain level of courage that we don't always feel we possess in the moment. Once you stop making excuses and finally look the situation right in the eye, the path forward begins to clear, even if that path looks a bit daunting at first glance.😁

Zachary Patel6 said:It looks like this has crossed the line from a concern into a full-blown obsession—honestly, you might want to go see a psychiatrist ASAP. A decent prescription could help you calm down and get your life back in order, because frankly, you don't seem quite yourself right now.😛I'm not getting worked up about it; it's really not that big of a deal. Antidepressants can be quite effective for these kinds of obsessive loops.👍

Well, my issue actually USED to be an obsession, though it seems you skipped over my most recent post where I explained how I've moved past that and only read the very first one where I laid out the initial details, but regardless, I suppose I should thank you for what I hope is a well-intentioned bit of advice.😁

Paul Sullivan said:Copying—it’s that whole philosophy of idolization and idealizing, you know... It feels quite comfortable when someone you consider an idol becomes this perfect figure representing your own idealized "self." I guess if you can't manage to match her habits, or become the kind of woman you want to be, nothing else really matters except getting rid of this food obsession. You just want to avoid those impulses during a simple lunch, right? Once you move past that obsession, everything else becomes easier, because then you're actually a fairly strong person. But why idealize? Why even bother doing that? Maybe I could compare it to that whole *tabula rasa* concept... You might be able to trick your own mindset by mimicking the exact actions of someone who isn't obsessed with food. By acting completely natural at dinner, behaving just like she does, and perhaps even thinking about the same things she thinks about—for instance, focusing on something other than a double portion... maybe that works. 😍

As for friends, thank God you have people who actually step up to help. It’s definitely a different feeling when someone you actually care about gives you some credit, rather than just patting yourself on the back. Though, I suppose self-validation has its uses occasionally. Personally, I find it quite meaningful to have close friends around—the kind of people who are figuratively right there by your side—especially when we dive into heavy topics, vent about others, or when they point out something about my own character that I hadn't realized yet. But at the end of the day, that impulse to say "no" can only come from within your own head. Friends can say whatever they want, I guess. They’re just a boost; they provide the direction, but you're the one doing the moving, right? xD
I wasn't allowed to eat bread. Psyche forbade it. She said no. She probably knows best.

Yes, looking back at a few days ago when I first shared (and admitted my struggle so openly, even if anonymously), I can tell you that everything inside my head was rearranged differently—there was simply a "click" that occurred. I'm not sure how or why it happened, but I am so incredibly glad that it did.😁Since then, I haven't been thinking about food nearly as much, and I've finally realized over these last few days what it actually feels like to live normally, to be carefree, and to just enjoy life.😍😍😍😍

I certainly agree that support is vital, but I also firmly believe that only I can change my own habits and, in a sense, my obsessions. I discovered a hidden reservoir of strength and willpower within myself, and I can honestly tell you that I am so proud of myself for helping myself along (of course, with your help😉). Perhaps all of this was necessary for me to realize just how strong of a person I truly am and everything I carry inside. From here on out, I know what I am capable of and what I need to make my inner strength truly "work." I've simply gained a brand new, entirely different kind of self-confidence. It's not the kind of confidence we usually strive for or try to possess. This confidence is different because it has given me a whole new "me," whereas with standard confidence, I was merely trying to improve my existing "me."THANK YOU.😁😉👍

velvetpuma69 said:Since you seem a bit younger than I am, I’ll take the liberty of offering a little unsolicited advice...
It sounded like you mentioned having a boyfriend, so my suggestion is to simply focus on spending quality time with him...try to push those thoughts about food or children to the back of your mind. If he is a good man, please don't waste your energy worrying about your appearance; I am certain he finds you wonderful exactly as you are right now. The more you fixate on eating, the more that obsession grows, and it can start to bleed into your social life too...it follows you everywhere. If you find that you can't shake it, there might be an underlying issue with your Psyche. There is absolutely no shame in 😉consulting a psychiatrist. In my own experience, it was discovered that my binge eating was rooted in my mental health. Sometimes, if the right medication works well, the compulsion to eat just fades away. All paths are worth exploring, and honestly, nothing is as dire as it feels in the moment—the world is a much kinder place when we accept people whether they are a little fuller or a little thinner.

😁well, here I am

I suppose I am indeed younger, seeing as you’ve already reached that conclusion🙂

I really do spend time with my boyfriend, and he is incredibly supportive of everything I do, even helping me through some pretty dull stretches, though there are moments where it feels like absolutely nothing anyone does—not even him—can truly change how I feel.
Sometimes, when we are out together, perhaps grabbing a coffee at a local cafe or just strolling through the city, I find myself completely unable to focus on the fact that I should be having a wonderful time or simply enjoying the moment, because my mind keeps drifting back to those same silly anxieties (the ones I mentioned right at the start of this thread😁). And then I catch myself spiraling over those thoughts, even though, in that exact moment, I really ought to be the happiest person alive. I am with someone I truly love, the weather is beautiful, we have zero responsibilities hanging over us, and I can see how happy he is. But I'm just not. I simply cannot relax and enjoy life, and I suppose that is my biggest struggle of all...😢

Paul Sullivan said:Hmm... I might have an idea, though it probably won't be easy given how utterly exhausted you are. Maybe you’re dealing with metabolic issues, just like me (if I accidentally go over 1,000 calories, everything just turns straight to fat, and even heavy workouts barely move the needle), but maybe try what didn't work for me, which a specialist actually suggested. Start paying attention to people, I guess. Find a woman you admire—on a TV show, online, wherever—and once you drop a pound, try to mimic her daily routine. Eat exactly what she eats (obviously pick someone with a decent build) and exercise when she does, and watch the clock. It might sound crazy, but since everyone is different yet fundamentally similar, there's a reason people say things like "don't eat after 7 PM" and stuff like that. Though, I suppose that isn't really your core issue.

Your actual problem is obsession. I spent months going to a specialist for free ( ☕ ) sessions, so I picked up a few things along the way. Obsession can be overcome, and you really need to avoid anything that triggers it. If you were strong enough to lose weight twice before, and did it quite successfully, then you should be capable of resisting this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... I guess.

Face food head-on. Eat, but definitely don't overdo it. Everyone likes food. Everyone enjoys it. Some more, some less. But certain feelings—especially those extreme physiological urges that have spiraled into an obsession—need to be dealt with. You don't need medication or friends for that; you just need to find strength within yourself. If all else fails, just limit your access to food. Maybe set aside a little cash or something.

And yeah.
Don't eat bread.

Eat a snack bar.

First off, thanks. 😁
Let's move on to the answers.

1. I don't think I have a metabolism problem (I know quite a bit about it, I'm well-informed, and I'm certain a doctor would recognize it; it isn't exactly EASY for me to gain weight—not that I'd gain it instantly, but still faster than most lucky people) 😠

2. Could you explain that part about mirroring someone a bit more? (You confused me quite a bit 😕)—won't that just turn into a whole new obsession with copying her and being OBSESSED WITH IT???

3. I'm glad to hear that obsession is curable, and I had actually thought to myself that I need to avoid things that remind me of it— 🙄 —but I know it is going to be SO HARD

4. I know I need to eat rather than avoid food (because avoiding it would only make things worse and make me think about food even more, leading to greater obsession 😲), but it's so hard to control myself—it's either I eat (and I REALLY eat) or I don't eat at all

5. Unfortunately, I have to disagree with you on one thing 😁—I really think my friends can offer me a lot of support, so I'll give it a try

6. Not eating bread? Okay. But pastries (like rolls, croissants, danishes, strudels—basically anything from a bakery) are one of my biggest addictions—and that's also bread—so I honestly don't know how I'll pull that off

7. I do eat SnackWells, don't worry, BUT I do eat bread too 😁

Well, there you have it, so please feel free to weigh in with whatever thoughts or answers you can muster, and I really do appreciate the help in advance 😉

👋

Hmmmm... you know... that is actually quite an interesting thought to chew on... I was just sitting here pondering that very thing myself...

As you can probably tell from my title, I have developed quite an obsession, specifically regarding food and my body weight.

I had been following a strict diet and managed to shed some extra pounds, but then, in typical fashion, I began indulging in everything I had previously denied myself—you know how that cycle goes, 😁—and predictably, all those lost pounds came right back. While I was regaining the weight (which essentially meant eating everything I had avoided for a while), I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt and simply wasn't happy, even though most people would likely be celebrating their discipline or feeling relieved to finally eat normally
.
Now that the weight is back, I have found myself determined to drop it again and strictly adhere to a set of rules just so I don't end up in this exact same position. Everything seemed perfectly fine while I was losing the weight; I actually felt wonderful because I had this sensation of being completely in control, which felt great, yet on the flip side, I was incredibly anxious, constantly counting down the days until the diet ended so I could eat whatever I wanted, even though I knew deep down that doing so would just restart the whole cycle🙄. As you can see, I am someone who tends toward extreme contrasts😁. To get back to the main point, everything was going smoothly until the weight loss phase concluded, and now the same pattern is repeating itself. I am genuinely afraid of eating—not food in general, mind you, but specifically the things I crave, like cookies, pastries, and sweets—because I know it will lead to weight gain, and that is what my obsession tells me. I feel this fear, yet I eat anyway, and afterward, I just feel terrible, sad, nervous, and generally miserable. I think about it the entire time; I am constantly checking myself in the mirror, and I am fully aware that I am gaining weight because of these eating bouts, since once I start, I find it impossible to stop, even when I know I am consuming far more than my body requires every single day. It holds me back from everything that normal people enjoy, such as spending quality time with friends, my boyfriend, or my family... I am thinking about it the WHOLE time. I am becoming increasingly aware of my issue, a problem that is stalling my life and making me unhappy. I know that I am not acting normally, and it feels embarrassing to admit that to anyone, but I simply cannot purge these thoughts from my head. I often catch myself thinking things like, "Lucky them, they can eat whatever they want," or "They surely don't spend their whole day obsessing over this, they must be so much happier because of it," and so on.

I have come to the conclusion that there is something fundamentally wrong with my psyche and the way I process things. I have a problem.

Since this is slowly robbing me of the best parts of my life😢, I am wondering how I might be able to help myself. Are there any psychological exercises, books, or pieces of advice you could offer? Or perhaps you could share how you might be able to assist me. Has anyone else dealt with this kind of struggle? Or has anyone moved past it? (If so, how did you manage to help yourselves🙂?) Thank you in advance, because I am truly starting to feel desperate😢