Posts by Paul Newman5

Been taking Ladomil 25 mg at night for a month now. It’s doing alright—helped lift the depression as much as it can in this timeframe and dialed back the jitters, which was a huge issue for me in the mornings. Because of that, I've actually been able to cut back on my Xanax intake, though I'm still using it. Still, it hasn't touched the anxiety much. I'm still struggling with getting to work and that constant dread of something going wrong once I'm there. Honestly, I just hate leaving the house in the morning. Even though the Ladomil keeps me calmer, my doctor prescribed the same nightly dose plus 5 mg (half a pill) of Escitalon at my checkup today. I've been lurking here for months and don't recall anyone mentioning it. If anyone has experience with it or knows anything, let me know. I read it's good for various types of anxiety and social phobia since it's an SSRI, but that's just what the pamphlet says. Real-world experiences would be helpful. Thanks.

redranger2 said:They run blood tests—usually one in the morning and another in the afternoon. Naturally, your morning levels are always going to be higher than the afternoon ones; in my case, the morning reading was well beyond the threshold while the afternoon stayed within range. You can also do a 24-hour urine collection test. I didn't bother with that one, frankly, because I simply couldn't face the hassle of dragging myself over to the Mayo Clinic to get it done.
They also use a dexamethasone suppression test at midnight to get a true picture of where your cortisol stands.

I’m currently taking adrenal and anti-inflammatory supplements, but after being subjected to such relentless stress and pulling 10 to 15-hour shifts, I've essentially collapsed, and I can feel the physical tremors from how much this hormone is wrecking me.
I haven't delved deeply into the specifics of treatment, but I know the standard procedure starts with a CT scan of the adrenal glands, and then you move forward based on those results.

Personally, I don't think that applies to me. It's pure anxiety for me—even specific phobias. I'm jittery, sure, but I've always been a high-strung perfectionist by nature. What do you mean by "shaking"? Is it nerves or something else?

redranger2 said:It’s worth getting your cortisol levels checked; I dealt with an elevation myself and the symptoms were nothing short of terrifying, especially since I couldn't get access to a hospital at the time. Now, the whole thing is washing over me again because I've been pushing myself far too hard at work.

Cortisol can trigger a wide array of adverse effects on the body—we're talking about everything from depression and hypertension to osteoporosis and metabolic syndrome X, which manifests as abdominal obesity, insulin resistance despite adequate secretion, elevated blood lipids, clotting issues, and high blood pressure. Cortisol surges during periods of stress, and whether that stress is chronic, constant, or even intermittent, it can lead directly to panic disorder and clinical depression. When cortisol levels remain chronically high, you face increased blood pressure and disrupted sugar metabolism, which can ultimately culminate in diabetes. Furthermore, excessive cortisol suppresses thyroid function, potentially leading to hypothyroidism, while simultaneously inhibiting growth hormone secretion—a critical factor for children and adolescents—and diminishing reproductive hormone production. Ultimately, it cripples the immune system, leaving you significantly more vulnerable to infections.

How do you even treat high cortisol? And how do you check if it’s actually up? You on some kind of adaptogen now? Can't keep track of everything.

Jessica Fowler4 said:man, I've been through just about everything over the last 3 or 4 years. I don't even know how to describe it.

I guess I'll just list the symptoms that have been cycling through me over the past few years.

First, it started with this pain in my upper back and neck, like every single muscle was constantly clenched—it's been happening every day for 5 years now. Then came the chronic insomnia, the constant spiraling with negative thoughts, being super sensitive, feeling rejected so easily, mood swings, just breaking down crying for half an hour at a time, asthma for maybe 3 or 4 months plus that feeling of never being able to catch my breath, losing focus, shivering at the slightest hint of cold—like teeth chattering—terrible memory, irritability, sweating through my armpits, heart palpitations or skipped beats, high blood pressure, chronic diarrhea four times a day that burns like lava for weeks, that constant "adrenaline dump" feeling in my gut (you know, that sensation you get right before a car accident or when the ground drops out from under you? I feel that for 3 or 4 hours every single day), chronic external hemorrhoids from straining, sweating even when I'm cold, weird appetite issues during the day, chronic muscle fiber issues without even working out, zero energy, waking up screaming at 2 in the morning, body temperature dropping below 96 degrees...

Most of these things were chronic for 2 or 3 months, then they'd fade just so some other symptom could jump in... and it's been going on like that for years...

So, yeah, I have plenty of reasons to be desperate. Because I have to stay functional as a lead IT architect on the most intense project ever, and I've been doing this for over a year now. Despite all this crap, I'm pulling in about 250 to 300 hours a month. I only had seven days off total this past year, and I worked full shifts every Saturday and 28 Sundays.

For one thing, I can't afford to take pills that will absolutely wreck me for 2 or 3 weeks just so they might finally start working after 4 weeks—and if they don't work, then I'm stuck with another 2 or 3 weeks of hell trying to get off them.

Second, I know these drugs aren't even close to what a real cure would actually be if one were ever discovered. I've studied this stuff quite a bit and, honestly—it's just not it.

So, I've taken just about anything. But not what you're taking. Out of all the ADs, I found one that actually works immediately and long-term—Coaxil—the only SSRE.

But honestly, I don't think messing with serotonin is even on the right track to solving my problems, or the problems of many other people with depression or bipolar disorder, etc. I think the key is actually in the NMDA network. That's why right now I'm taking Memantine (which, by the way, is officially only approved for Alzheimer's here in the US)—and it also works right away.

Yesterday, I spent three hours jumping around and dancing to music. I wasn't depressed at all, I wasn't ruminating, I was actually hyper and having fun all day. And you get that instantly from Memantine, from the very first day you take it.

So, I've managed to find a way to get results immediately without those insane side effects that drag on for weeks.🙂 And eventually, I'll probably find even better options.

Go read my thread about Ketamine, maybe it's already been moved to another section.

I mean, there are basically all these substances out there right now that seem to be driving depression levels up. One example is ketamine. And then you've got other things too, like cortisol... maybe even various different anti-inflammatory supplements, I guess.

I’m pretty new to all this. Since you mentioned Coaxil, I never really felt it kick in right away. For me, it just made my muscles feel heavy; for five weeks, it felt like I was walking on carrots instead of feet. It killed my anxiety, sure, but it killed my will to do anything, too. I used to call it "my little depressant" because I ended up feeling more indifferent than I did before the meds. Anyway, that wasn't even my point. What you're saying might be fine, but my situation is different. My job makes these side effects impossible—I can't exactly take medical leave. I need something that works immediately because the anxiety is much worse than the depression for me. But honestly, how do people even get the drugs you're talking about? How do you even ask a psychiatrist for them? If I went to my doctor asking for Alzheimer's medication when I'm actually just anxious, they'd think I was crazy. It doesn't seem doable unless you have a close friend in the medical field helping you out under the table. I'm not trying to argue—I don't know enough about pharmacology—but I've seen two psychiatrists and cycled through three antidepressants already. I'm on four now, but it's always an antidepressant. I was just curious where people actually find the stuff you mentioned.🤷

Angela Reyes4 said:Are you seeing a psychiatrist privately or through your insurance?

I’m using my insurance.
I received my diagnosis at the end of April and started the medication shortly after.
My next appointment isn't until July.
I guess I just have to be patient until then.🤷

The only time you'd switch is if Prozac isn't helping at all, though I doubt that's the case. I personally know someone who dealt with nausea and extreme fatigue or sleepiness for about 10 days after starting Prozac, but after that, they were back to normal—getting up, going to college, playing sports—and it helped them immensely with anxiety and those irrational fears we deal with. Regarding what I wrote earlier about not needing to suffer for two months, I've heard similar things from other people on this forum whose doctors said the same thing. This is just my layman's understanding, though, so I don't know if I'm right.

My doctor told me it takes time for the full effect to kick in and for the body to actually show how the meds are impacting it.
On top of that, I haven't even reached half of my target dose for Lamictal yet.

I didn't ask her exactly how much time it would take.

Since I have finals coming up, I specifically asked her not to put me on anything that causes brain fog.
She assured me that the pills I was given wouldn't make me feel numb; if anything, she said I might feel more "alive" and have more energy.

Right now, I still feel exhausted, but that's most likely due to poor sleep.🤷
As for why I'm sleeping so badly, I have no idea.
Regarding my OCD, I feel like it's helping somewhat.
I have fewer compulsions, which is great.

But man, this fatigue is killing me.

The first one was private, but this current one is through the clinic. Still, she gave me her cell number to call in two weeks if side effects don't settle down (right now I'm off everything, waiting for my doctor to get back from vacation tomorrow so she can write a new prescription). I was given Ludiomil, but if I start gaining weight like crazy, I have no intention of staying on it for months. Same thing happened to me with Coaxil... nerves were fine, tapering off the anxiety meds went okay, sleep and appetite seemed normal, but my legs were giving out from muscle weakness. My doctor told me to stop after the fourth week. They explained that depression doesn't resolve in just 2-3 weeks, but the side effects shouldn't persist. I'm not a doctor though, so I'm just repeating what my doctors and some people on here have said.

copperheron18 said:It’s definitely too soon. In my experience, you need at least one or two months to gauge the actual effectiveness—or lack thereof. I'm only four weeks in myself.
Just yesterday I was boasting about feeling fantastic, yet today I find myself sinking back into a low spot.😢
I take Prozac for anxiety and depression, and for me, it truly provides a sense of calm. I started dealing with these irrational fears that were completely paralyzing my daily life; I was constantly tense and anxious, unable to function normally. That tension was unbearable. Prozac definitely takes the edge off, so you hit the nail on the head regarding that feeling of being "dulled." It makes me significantly calmer; it really is built for soothing that agitation.

How do you handle that numbness or brain fog at work, or even at home when you actually have stuff to do? For me, Coaxil was great for calming down, but I could barely walk through the office or even cook a meal at home. I just felt completely checked out from work.
And I wouldn't agree that you have to stick with an antidepressant for months if it's not working for you. Both my first and second psychiatrists told me you can tolerate side effects for maybe 2-3 weeks, but if they don't pass, you should switch to something else—unless Prozac isn't doing anything at all, which I doubt. I personally know someone who had nausea and extreme fatigue or sleepiness for only about ten days on Prozac, and after that, they were fine—getting up, studying, exercising. It helped them immensely with anxiety and those irrational fears we deal with. This idea that you shouldn't suffer for two months is something I've heard from others here on the forum whose doctors said the same. Just my own layman's observations, though. Who knows if I'm right.

Angela Reyes4 said:copperheron18, thanks for the heads up.

I’ve just hit my third week on this medication regimen.
I was prescribed Prozac for OCD, along with Lamictal to deal with the constant rage that comes with my depressive episodes.

As far as the Prozac goes, it isn't doing much for the OCD specifically, though it does leave me feeling so numb and lethargic that I lack the energy to even act on my compulsions (so, I suppose that counts as "help" in a way)😁.
The Lamictal hasn't done a thing for me; I am still perpetually filled with anger.

Perhaps it is simply too early to tell.🤷

That constant anger is killing me too. I feel like a rubber band stretched to the breaking point, always terrified I'm about to have a total breakdown. For me, Paxil was perfect—took it for five weeks, nerves were gone, but man, it just deadened me. It caused these muscle spasms so bad I sometimes couldn't even feel my legs. Not like a normal cramp, more like they didn't belong to me. Had to quit. On the plus side, sleep was great and no nausea or appetite changes, but those muscle issues were brutal. Do you take anything like Ativan or Xanax when the nerves hit?

Roger Brown55 said:Honestly, at this point, I’m even getting nervous about taking my Xanax 😢

I'm not a fan of medication either. It feels suffocating having to take anything when, until a year ago, I never touched a single sedative. I used to work non-stop and honestly wondered how people dealt with life without just popping pills to cope. Now, here I am, right in the middle of it. I’m terrified of having a total breakdown in public—especially at work—and losing my job because of it. And we still can't get a hold of any Adidas. On top of that, I spent from December through March trying psychotherapy and bioenergy, which felt like a massive waste of precious time when I should have been looking for an antidepressant. People who don't deal with this stuff are lucky. There are plenty of other ways to suffer, sure, but this constant dread before heading into the office? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Roger Brown55 said:My EKG came back normal—they told me my heart rate was fast but steady. I haven't gone for any more testing beyond that. Honestly, I'm convinced it's anxiety rather than actual heart disease; if it were my heart, I would've kicked the bucket years ago after dealing with panic attacks for eight years now.
But then again, being a hypochondriac...

Since I assumed your racing heart was just the anxiety or panic, I suggested checking out something like Ativan, but clearly you're worried about whether Lexapro might mess with your heart. I honestly don't know if it can. It didn't do that to me, but it made me feel incredibly jittery and restless. Even a handful of anti-anxiety meds couldn't settle me down, so eventually, my own head told me to just stop.

Roger Brown55 said:What you wrote was about Paxil, but I was prescribed either Eli Lilly or Lexapro. I took Lexapro back around 2008, and I notice the side effects listed on the label have increased significantly. Back then, things like rapid heart rate or changes in heart rhythm (QT prolongation) weren't definitely listed as side effects.

I was on Lexapro and didn't deal with the racing heart, but I couldn't stand it for other reasons. Just wanted to mention that when this all started for me about a year ago, my heart was pounding constantly—hitting 125 bpm. My cardiologist prescribed Valium, half of a 25mg dose every morning. He basically said why should I suffer through that when he already suspected it was psychological. I saw him before I realized everything was coming from my head. Ever since I've been taking that little bit of Valium every morning, the palpitations have stopped completely, and I've taken it alongside my antidepressants without any issues; my psychiatrist said it wasn't a problem. If you have actual heart disease, I don't know, but my cardiac exams always come back clean.

Kevin Bailey2 said:Maybe try starting with something milder... like Lexapro or Paxil...

I've been taking the "mild" stuff for months. Sometimes I mix in Lexapro because it's the only thing that actually keeps me level. But the light stuff doesn't cut it. If I could just rely on Ativan or Xanax to get by, I wouldn't be stuck on this forum or seeing a doctor. When you're too terrified to go to work or even leave the house, those mild options won't stop the anxiety from breaking through—and then you end up needing an SSRI anyway. Now I'm just stuck being dependent on both, and my health hasn't improved at all.

Roger Brown55 said:I’m terrible about meds too. Now that I’ve been prescribed Eli Lilly, I can’t even bring myself to take it, especially after reading that it can cause heart issues and that people with a racing heart shouldn't use it. My pulse has been sitting around 100 lately.😢

Taking the meds isn't the issue. It's the side effects that always hit me, while everyone else seems fine or barely feels anything. Take Paxil, for example. Last week, my legs felt like boiled hot dogs—just zero muscle control. I skipped it today since you all encouraged me that I could taper off, and honestly, the leg issue is gone. I am more anxious now, though. Paxil actually helped with the nerves, but what’s the point if I can barely walk? After three failed attempts at finding the right antidepressant—even though I know some people spend years searching—I’m just feeling more miserable and on edge. Thanks for the advice and the input, everyone.

Jessica Fowler4 said:I guess I could try to theorize about it here. Coax is an SSRE, and since serotonin plays a role in signaling pain along with everything else, maybe the Coax shifted your pain threshold a little bit... though, I don't know, I'm not totally sure if that's really how it works...

Anyway, just from my own experience, I didn't really feel much of anything... I played around with the dosages quite a bit, too. I'd take 6 or 7 at once, sometimes 15 in a single day, or I'd do 6 a day for two weeks and then 4 a day for another two weeks, and all sorts of things like that... eventually, I just quit cold turkey...
I didn't really notice any major side effects... I might have felt a little more upbeat at the very beginning, but that passed after just a couple of days...

So, I'd say that since you were only at one or two pills, you really shouldn't be having side effects, and if you are feeling things, it might just be that anxiety about lowering the dose.

In the end, personally, I concluded it wasn't doing much for my mental state... the only thing it actually helped with was my asthma and IBS.

From what I've read about it, you shouldn't be having issues; it's probably the safest antidepressant out there when it comes to the typical side effect profile...

I thought the same thing, so you've either reassured me or not. For me, Coax always caused muscle weakness and left me feeling totally sedated. I guess I'm just sensitive when it comes to medication. Thanks anyway. I don't feel great—anxiety is killing me—but every time someone prescribes something, I immediately start feeling all the side effects.

I was on Coax for five weeks—two weeks at one pill daily, then three weeks at two. My doctor switched things up and told me to taper off by just taking one pill for a few days before stopping entirely. I’m taking that single dose in the morning, but my muscles, especially my legs, are aching like crazy and I feel exhausted. Honestly, I feel worse on the one pill than I did on two. Is this just because I lowered the dose, or am I just psyching myself out? Only been on it for five weeks. If anyone has experience or advice, let me know.

Kenneth Scott41 said:I’ve been a part of this community for quite some time now, which is something I actually take a certain amount of pride in. 🙂
I haven't really felt the need to check in on this thread lately because, well, I suppose I’ve finally found a sense of contentment... it’s hard to explain, but something just shifted. People keep telling me I look refreshed, more clear-headed, or just generally happier.

And before anyone asks, no, it wasn't the medication that did it. It was actually the tapering process.
I eventually realized I didn't need to rely on such heavy doses anymore, and when my therapist saw me last, she actually remarked that I seemed like a completely different person—that I was practically glowing with happiness. 🙂

I don't have that bloated, medicated look about me anymore, and I've managed to drop about 13 pounds... so, I guess you could say things are looking up. 😁

Spill it. What’s your secret for tapering? I’ve only been in this for a few months. Still digging through the info on AD-oves, but nothing's working yet. It’s not that I’m deeply depressed, but this anxiety is killing me. Naturally, everything just feels like one big nervous wreck because of it. Come on, give me some hope with your own story. What actually happened that made you start glowing again? Honestly, good for you.

Robert Kim6 said:I'll definitely send it over... I'm just a little unsure if they'll respond since the Aktivin H is from Belupovac.

Belupovac will probably get back to you by the day after tomorrow. A few months ago, I asked if it was okay to take Aktivin with Misara and two people replied right away. Haven't actually tried it myself, so I can't say for sure. If you scroll back a few pages, someone else mentioned using it here, but I can't recall their name. Just find them and ask; if I remember correctly, she was on it for a long time.

Brandon Lopez6 said:You completely missed the point. Compared to absolute garbage (which is gross), anyone would rather take a pill (which is less gross). And trust me, I didn't just wake up yesterday knowing what you wrote in your post.

And if we're really going down that road, even blood pressure meds have side effects. They aren't magic. I used the word "pills" mostly sarcastically, but I guess you have to spell out every single damn word on these forums so someone doesn't misinterpret you and jump down your throat.

I wasn't jumping down your throat, and there's no need for swearing. But I'm certain blood pressure medication doesn't cause this many side effects. And I wasn't saying I don't respect your experience. Just because you've been around here for years doesn't mean I, as someone relatively new, can't have my own opinion. I have more to say, but I'm not interested in forum bickering.

Andrew Doyle said:Your "impression" is completely worthless. I am talking about reality here. Without my medication, I suffered from panic attacks so severe I ended up in the ER because doctors thought I was having a stroke. With my meds? I literally got my life back. Period.

And let me be clear: I am the type of person who would swallow pure poison if it meant I’d never have to deal with what I went through again. I don't even want to go into the details of the agoraphobia, the social anxiety, the endless cycle of phobias, and all that other garbage that made it impossible to breathe or perform basic daily tasks. It left me paralyzed. I'm not interested in debating the merits of being "natural" when my quality of life depends on this.

I deal with all those phobias too, just not the panic attacks. I'd love to know what you're taking and how long you've been on AT&T. I'd swallow anything if I knew it worked, but we can't figure out which "garbage" actually fits us... that's why I'm asking. I'm starting to lose hope in AT&T.

Brandon Lopez6 said:That's usually how it goes with people who aren't actually drowning. Most of the time, the folks who are truly struggling would swallow anything just to feel even a little bit better, let alone a couple of pills.🙂

I agree with the part about taking meds when things get desperate—not just for local issues, but everything—but I can't get behind calling this "just a couple of pills." Personally, I feel like AT&T is more like those drugs where you deal with side effects for weeks, or they don't even work half the time, or the side effects stop but nothing actually happens, and then you're just waiting months for any effect at all. A pill is what you take for high blood pressure to stay functional. This isn't that. I'm already on my third type of medication and who knows how that ends, so I'm technically all for treatment, but I won't sugarcoat this crap we're consuming.
Everyone's entitled to an opinion, including those who think there's no difference between this and actual pills.

redranger2 said:Hehe... it sounds like your husband and I are on the exact same page.🙂
If you were truly a chronic worrier, it would follow you home, too, but in your case
it seems confined to the office. A few panic attacks in a high-pressure workplace isn't
all that unusual—that intense anxiety has to find a way to manifest somehow.

You mentioned this happened over the summer—attacks do tend to flare up more during those months.
Just make sure you always have a bottle of water with you at the office; don't let dehydration or
hunger catch you off guard by letting your blood sugar drop, and you'll be fine. Hang in there, 🙂

Thanks again for the support and the chat. It keeps me grounded, I guess, but not really. I’m not exactly itching to go anywhere either—every trip feels like such a chore. But nothing beats the dread of heading into the office.
I'll try my best not to buckle.🙂