Posts by Chris Kim7

Is there some kind of blood test that could actually show if my serotonin or norepinephrine levels—and everything else tied to depression and anxiety—are drifting away from what's considered normal?

Wouldn't that make diagnosing these issues and picking the right antidepressant a whole lot easier...

Jason Vaughn482 said:I think I had a five-day window where I tried taking Prozac—something I’d used once before and felt fine on—but since those initial side effects can be so jarring, I just don't have the stomach for it; I tend to be quite particular when it comes to medication... I was on Mirzaten Q tabs for about a year, but it didn't sit right with me because of the aspartame, though by then I had already realized the issue. Calixta feels almost identical in its effect, which is problematic because even while taking an antidepressant, I am still relying on Xanax three times a day; clearly, it isn't doing the job, or if it is, I certainly don't feel it. It seems to me this specific antidepressant is designed for depression rather than anxiety. You'll see for yourself after the fifteen-day mark, but the weight gain is also a major concern, and that is something I simply cannot afford.

Prozac was actually the first antidepressant they put me on after years of struggling, but finding the right treatment took forever, and it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that my physical symptoms were actually psychological...
The worst side effects came from that one, mostly intense nausea, restlessness, anxiety, and insomnia, and that lasted for quite a while, over a month...
It eventually kicked in and things were fine for a bit, but I soon found myself reaching for Ambien and Xanax again before bed...
Then another crisis hit, so I switched over to Cymbalta...

It's tough to nail down the right therapy when depression and anxiety symptoms overlap so much...

I'll stick it out and see how Calixta goes. For now, I'm sleeping, but the nightmares are worrying, including the ones from last night... I'm exhausted during the day and my appetite spikes at night. It might just be PMS, but I suspect it's the Calixta... I guess I'll just try it, see what happens, and decide. Maybe I'll bump the dose to 7.5 mg, maybe that'll help the dreams, or maybe it'll make them worse...

Maybe ask your psychiatrist about combining antidepressants—something in the morning to lift your mood and lower anxiety, and something sedating at night?

Or have them switch up the Xanax, since you might have built up a tolerance after all these years...

Just throwing ideas out there, you've probably already thought through every possible combination, but who knows, something might work...

EDIT (again): If you haven't been on Calixta for five days yet, did you feel any different: less tired, fewer nightmares, or less hungry?...

Jason Vaughn482 said:haha, how could you think I lack the will to shower? I manage to do that every single morning without fail. My struggle isn't with hygiene; it's that I lack the momentum to head down to the beach. By the time I finally drag myself up and finish my coffee, it's already 11 AM, and that window of opportunity seems to have slammed shut... even though I’d love nothing more than to be by the coast. I’m holding onto hope that I can make it happen, since there's still plenty of the month left... I've been taking 25 mg of Prazine-Praznina along with Sanval for the last ten days, but it hasn't been anything transformative regarding my sleep, and I still wake up feeling utterly exhausted.

Everything is relative! Just grab some sunscreen, find some shade, and get in the water! You don't have to bake in the sun. That time spent swimming will actually do you good, it's not like you'll be exposed to UV rays forever...

Staying cooped up inside and being miserable is doing you way more harm. Forget about the clock, just head straight to the ocean right after your coffee... 🙂

EDIT: When was the last time you took Calixta?

Jason Vaughn482 said:I actually started psychotherapy, but I’m far from satisfied because the sessions only last fifteen minutes, 🙄
that's news to me... and they only happen every two or three weeks... I've gone three times now, and it has been utterly pointless.
Yes, it is quite possible that I am exhausted from the core illness itself, as I spend a vast amount of energy obsessing over whether or not I am actually sick. It's partially justified, given that I've had an elevated tumor marker for four years now, which has kept me anxious ever since, though I suppose I always had a tendency toward it anyway. But who can say for certain? The nightmares are a frequent occurrence, and as for whether they stem from the Calixta, I will let you know if they finally cease. I've only been off it for a short while, and I might even go back on it just so I can finally get some decent sleep.

That isn't even psychotherapy. Real one-on-one therapy lasts an hour once a week. I'm guessing you went through your insurance provider. If there is any way at all, treat yourself to private therapy with a high-quality, vetted therapist. Unfortunately, it’s incredibly expensive, but if you can manage it, sacrifice something else and go to therapy...

Maybe there's depression underneath it all too—what they call masked depression—it often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, sometimes the anxiety drains you so much that depression becomes inevitable...

The fear of illness... we could talk about that for hours, just like any other phobia. You'll keep monitoring that marker, but in the meantime, find a solid psychiatrist-psychotherapist who can figure out the right med combo for you and teach you how to deal with these fears and actually uncover what's driving them...

Ugh, so it's definitely possible the nightmares will keep happening... 😢
Oh well, time will tell, and if things don't improve, we'll just try something else...

Jason Vaughn482 said:No, I had been taking it consistently for a year before I dropped down to 7.5 mg just to have any hope of falling asleep... I've always dealt with anxiety, specifically leaning toward hypochondria, and I have this irrational, overwhelming fear of getting sick.
In truth, I feel perpetually exhausted and lethargic, and this relentless heat isn't helping at all; it makes me miserable because I desperately want to go swimming, but I lack the strength. By the time I actually muster the energy to move, it’s already too late for the beach, and by the afternoon, the heat is so oppressive that nothing moves. I don't know... my GP prescribed Amyzol and I have it sitting here at home, but I am dreading the side effects listed, especially the constipation, which is something I already struggle with... how much did you typically take? I have the 10 mg tablets; is that considered a high dose for nighttime?
And regarding your question about the Calixta, I haven't actually been taking it for a few days now; instead, I've switched to Prazine-Praznina, though I'm not fond of that either. I just don't know... I wake up feeling utterly spent, as if I've been digging trenches all night instead of sleeping.

Yeah, I caught that you're anxious, and I see why you're tapering off Calixta, I just wanted to mention it might be time to switch to a different antidepressant with a sedative effect.

It’s possible your fatigue is coming from the underlying disorder itself. I doubt it's the Sanval making you tired. It could be the Calixta, but if you're still wiped out without it (like if it's been at least 2 days since your last dose), then the anxiety is probably the culprit... because constant worrying and fear just drains everything out of you.

When I saw the list of side effects for Amyzol, I was terrified, but not nearly as desperate as I was from the insomnia 🙂 If it had said I'd grow a third arm or a leg or an ear, I would've taken it anyway. And honestly, it ended up being the only antidepressant that didn't mess with me 😁 Aside from gaining 3 lbs, but I lost that later (which might not even have been the meds, I tend to put on weight during this time of year regardless).
I think I started on 10 mg, but that wasn't cutting it so I bumped it up to around 30 mg. I was taking Klonopin with it too.
I was actually pretty happy with it for a good while, maybe it'll work for you too.

I'm sorry you're feeling so miserable and down, most of us here get it.

Have you thought about psychotherapy?

If you don't mind me asking, did Calixta give you nightmares for a long time?
I'm still reeling from how well I slept last night 😢

Kevin Nguyen3 said:One-on-one therapy can certainly help—you aren't wrong there—but perhaps expectations need to be recalibrated. The entire approach to healing needs a complete overhaul.
Unfortunately, mental illness is much like taking a bite out of an apple; once you've bitten it, that apple is never whole again. And well, it all depends on how big the bite was.
You can try to fix it, patch it up, polish it, freeze it, or whatever else you fancy, and sure, it might look beautiful and hold together for a while, but at the end of the day, it is still—it is still a bitten apple.
What I mean is, we can treat an illness to the point where we might not even need medication anymore. The real question is: how long can the body sustain itself that way?
Some people manage to go years without therapy, others simply cannot.
As I have mentioned several times before, the goal is to create space for health and push the illness to the sidelines so it returns as infrequently as possible.
The illness might resurface occasionally, but in the meantime, we are learning how to be stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to handle stress.
And *that* is the process. There isn't some magical alternative.
The goal is to raise the overall quality of life. Those are realistic expectations; anything else is just daydreaming or believing that WE are somehow destined for absolute, perfect success.
For someone like me, absolute success is simply being capable enough to write on this forum. And honestly... I wasn't even looking for much more than that.☕

And I wish the apple would actually taste better than it did before the bite...😁

Look, I don't have some delusional fantasies, nor am I against medication, but it really gets under my skin when, despite all the effort—the meds, the therapy, everything—the disorder just resurfaces and makes life bitter again...
It feels like I put in every ounce of effort within my power, and sometimes, it's still just not enough...
It's a constant battle, and I'm just exhausted from fighting... 😢
It's almost as if anxiety and depression are smarter than everyone else, always finding a way to win...

Kevin Nguyen3 said:No. Honestly, no. If the medication has been working steadily for months, then you're seeing the disorder recede because of the treatment itself. Increasing the dosage? That doesn't magically fix anything; it really just ups the risk of side effects.
The brain simply doesn't build a tolerance to antidepressants.
We have to remember this is an illness. My theory? The illness itself evolves over time—it starts affecting you differently—so, naturally, the medication has to change to keep up.

So what, I just stay on them forever???!!!

Could this actually be part of the whole psychotherapy process after being in it for less than a year? It feels like I’ve dragged every single fear, sadness, and ugly memory to the surface, tried to claw my way back toward some sense of "normalcy," and then everything just collapsed on me all at once... Just philosophizing, I guess... ☕

Jason Vaughn482 said:I experienced the exact same phenomenon—nightmares and a persistent exhaustion that lingers throughout the daylight hours. I even found myself waking up in the middle of the night to eat (though I can't discern if that stems from sleepwalking or the Calixt itself); fortunately, that particular habit has ceased for a few days now. I am undecided whether I will return to it, but given the quality of my sleep, the emptiness is hard to stomach... regardless, I will reiterate that for my anxiety, 15 mg at night simply wasn't sufficient... I continue to struggle significantly with the actual process of falling asleep.

I wouldn't pin that on Sanval, feels more like the Calixta to me...

Blue Star said:
so don't sweat it too much, you just started taking it.🙂

😘

Thanks!

Yeah, I’m using Xanax as a sedative before bed, not really as an anti-epileptic...

I don't take anything during the day. But today I'm just a wreck, sleep was terrible, woke up crying. The label mentions weird dreams and nightmares as side effects, and now I'm honestly terrified this won't stop 😢

My OCD has flared up too—it's been there since I was a kid alongside the anxiety—probably just because I'm switching from one antidepressant to another, dealing with the withdrawal from the old one and getting used to the new one, all while the anxiety and depression symptoms hit at once 🤷

I have no idea why I "cracked" on Elontril, I've become so skeptical of it. At first, the side effects felt awful—crying, insomnia, anxiety—then things stabilized for a bit, but then some stress hit and I was right back where I started 🙂

I wonder if the brain just gets "used to" an antidepressant that actually worked, and if changing it eventually becomes inevitable... sometimes I feel so defeated, because going through these crashes again and trying to find the strength to pull myself up is just exhausting...

Talked to my psychiatrist and she switched me from Zoloft 10mg over to Calvin. She actually agreed with what you guys were saying about the extended release on the old one, so you were right all along...

I've been on the Calvin for the last four nights and I'm honestly just relieved I finally slept (taking 15 mg alongside 1 mg of Clonazepam). I feel pretty wiped out in the morning and sluggish during the day, but I'm not stressing too much yet, assuming it's just a temporary side effect. Had some moderate headaches too, but those cleared up. My appetite is definitely up at night.

The dreams, though... they're really starting to worry me. They are so vivid, intense, and depressing. Last night was a total nightmare—dreams about losing people close to me—and it woke me up at 5:30 AM. I managed to drift back off somehow, but the dreaming just wouldn't stop.

Can someone please tell me if this is just part of the adjustment period, or does anyone else on Calvin deal with these awful dreams continuously? These visions are so heavy they leave me shaken for the rest of the day... :-(

So, counting the Zoloft 10mg, I've been on new antidepressants for a week now (was on Agomelatine before that).

And yeah, my anxiety feels a bit more intense during the day.

Jason Vaughn482 said:Are we talking about daytime lethargy? Because honestly, what's the point of worrying about losing an antidepressant effect that was never even there to begin with? It’s all a bit moot for me—I’m dealing with anxiety rather than depression, and frankly, this stuff hasn't done a thing for it.

Yeah, during the day. As for the antidepressant thing, I only mentioned that so people reading this would know what I meant, though according to the literature, this AD might actually have some anti-anxiety properties too, so maybe that's part of it...

I struggle more with anxiety myself, that's my main issue, but the constant insomnia eventually drags me down into depression...

I don't even know anymore, maybe it's better if I stop overanalyzing everything and just follow whatever my psychiatrist tells me, because when I obsessively research every little detail, I just end up making my own anxiety worse by being so skeptical...

Jason Vaughn482 said:I suppose I should speak from firsthand experience... I take it exclusively for insomnia, but I find it baffling that you couldn't sleep the second night. For a long time, I could sleep quite soundly on it alone, though after a while, I found myself needing Valium as well. I take half of a 15 mg dose, so if I don't drift off using 10 mg of Valium following 7.5 mg of Calix, I'm stuck. My intention is to phase this out entirely because I spend my whole day feeling lethargic and worn down, and I suspect that's the drug's doing rather than it actually addressing my anxiety.

Yeah, I remember stumbling upon some random corner of the internet saying that lowering your dose of California won't actually fix the drowsiness, but it might totally tank the antidepressant effects too...

redranger2 said:They absolutely work for sleep. I was prescribed both specifically for insomnia because my psychiatrist is adamant about avoiding hypnotics at all costs. Unfortunately, both medications were a total disaster for me—Calixta triggered debilitating migraines, while Q-pin caused neurological episodes. It wasn't until I started Vaira that I finally escaped the cycle of sleeplessness, and I haven't experienced a single side effect from it. It knocked me out instantly, just like a heavy blow to the head. 😁

How long were you on C. and Q.? And is Vaira an Ad?

Kevin Nguyen3 said:Sure, it looks that way, but it really isn't.
It would be incredibly complicated to sit here and explain all the protein molecules, the receptors, and how their entire signaling system actually functions.
We’re talking about synaptic connections, peptides, ion channel receptors, ligands, monoamine transporters—just a massive, overwhelming array of terms used to analyze hormonal transfers and neurotransmitter concentrations (like serotonin or norepinephrine). It's a lot!
Ugh, honestly? It might be better if we just didn't know.😁

Bome 😁

They’re listing them all as if they’re basically the same thing here:

http://lijekovi-lijecenje.blogspot.c...tazapinum.html

Brand name:
CALIXTA (Johnson & Johnson, USA)
unknown (unknown, USA)
unknown Q-Tab (unknown, USA)
REMERON (unknown, Netherlands)
unknown (unknown)
REMIRTA (unknown, USA)

Jason Vaughn482 said:So, how does that process actually work, and what is the experience like? Can you travel from another city for it? I'm battling insomnia too, and I spend my entire day feeling utterly exhausted from either Valium or Calisthenics.

I went through it myself, just to check things out, and man, it was a struggle... they basically told me stuff I already knew, like "if you can't sleep, take your meds and call your psychiatrist."

I think you can come from pretty much anywhere in the country—just give the clinic near Bethesda a call to be sure—you show up in the evening, get your own room (everything felt super clean and modern, at least where I stayed), they hook you up with a hundred electrodes and wires all over your head, and then you just sleep through the night...

I couldn't fall asleep, so they told me to just take my usual prescription. Then you wake up around 6 AM, wait for the doctor, he gives me some quick feedback, and then I headed home... got my discharge papers a little later on...

Might be worth a shot, but honestly, I feel like it's more for people who suspect they have sleep apnea or something like that...

Jason Vaughn482 said:I suppose I should speak from firsthand experience... I take it exclusively for insomnia, but I find it baffling that you couldn't sleep the second night. For a long time, I could sleep quite soundly on it alone, though after a while, I found myself needing Valium as well. I take half of a 15 mg dose, so if I don't drift off using 10 mg of Valium following 7.5 mg of Calix, I'm stuck. My intention is to phase this out entirely because I spend my whole day feeling lethargic and worn down, and I suspect that's the drug's doing rather than it actually addressing my anxiety.

I don't get it either, which is why I'm so confused. We'll see how tonight goes. I'm going to take it a little earlier and just see...

Kevin Nguyen3 said:http://www.pfizer.com/media/produ...oxanax_PIL.pdf
http://www.pfizer.com/us/en-q-tab/1869/

Xanax—it also works by selectively activating 5-HT1 receptors, which increases serotonergic transmission.
Xanax Tablet—Depression is linked to lower concentrations of neurotransmitters, those substances responsible for sending messages throughout the brain (like serotonin and norepinephrine). Xanax Tablet acts by increasing the concentration of these specific transmitters within the brain.

🙂

Seems pretty much the same thing to me...😁

I'll give it a few more days, then if things don't start looking up, I'm just going to call my doctor and get it sorted...

And seriously, why is there zero info online about the actual medical difference between the regular version and the Xanax Tablet? Or am I just missing it somewhere...

feralstag72 said:I’ve been on 15mg of Mirtazapine—or Calixt, depending on how you look at it—for about four and a half years now. Honestly, it was what pulled me out of that deep depressive rut I was stuck in back in early 2010. For me, the main issues were that total lack of drive, feeling completely lifeless, and having zero appetite. I cycled through a thousand different medications before finding this one. As far as sleep goes, if I take it about an hour before bed, it hits me pretty hard and knocks me right out. I’m not sure how high your dosage is, but you could probably bump up the milligrams a bit if you need more sedation. It definitely kicked my appetite back into gear, too. Personally, I felt the effects almost immediately. The only side effect I dealt with was some intense headaches when I tried stepping up to 30mg, so I dialed it back down to 15mg. Anyway, talk to your doctor first, but maybe try increasing the dose slightly. You could even pair it with a little Norvasc to help stay calm, though Mirtazapine itself is already pretty sedative and calming. I usually wake up feeling normal in the morning and don't feel groggy during the day. Just a heads up: I wouldn't recommend the Remeron q-tab because it lasts way too long and leaves you feeling totally drugged all day long.

Thanks, feralstag72, you've given me a bit of hope here 😁

My doctor is on vacation right now, and she just wrote me a prescription for the q-tab, so I can't change anything until she gets back. I have no idea why she put me on the long-acting version 🤷 I'm taking 15 mg. I get those headaches too, but they aren't too bad. Today, I don't feel overly sedated.

Insomnia is my biggest hurdle. My appetite is fine and my weight is stable, so I just hope I don't start packing on the pounds.

Normabel doesn't really do much for me, maybe it would work better in this combo, but I'm not touching my Clonazepam without talking to my doctor first.

Thanks again for reaching out! 🙂

redcrane22 said:You know I'm doing just fine😉

I'm on Zoloft 100, plus three diazepam and two prazosin as needed, maybe a pill or two of Valium occasionally, and so on and so forth. Honestly, I haven't really felt depressed for quite a while—maybe just those typical bad days everyone gets—but I think I'll stick with the Zoloft for a bit longer since it helps me see things more clearly and realistically. It’s just strange, though; I don't get why I, or any of us here, don't feel that sudden burst of energy or whatever people expect when they take it. For me, everything just feels normal.
🤷

Honestly, I think this is actually what everyone wants... the whole point is just feeling normal again 🙂