Posts by boldridge3

Grace Ross20 said:Dear boldridge3, this whole thing with the hair... it’s just beautiful. You've actually given me the idea to save some of Dad's hair too; even though it's short right now, I'll wait until it grows out a bit a little longer. 🙂

Life is a relentless cycle of emptiness, grief, joy, and more grief—that's just the nature of our existence. In the end, what else is there to do but live, love, and mourn? I am truly glad to hear things are looking up with your marriage; perhaps you'll finally find some breathing room to focus on the things you actually care about.

We've decided to bring Dad home, so Mom and I will be managing his care somehow, even though he's currently going through this phase of delirium where he sees things in the room that simply aren't there. I'm hoping a higher dose of Decortin will help clear his head.

Who should I reach out to regarding a wheelchair, an anti-decubitus mattress, and all the other gear we're going to need?
And I'm torn on the hygiene situation—should I stick to diapers like they do in the hospital, or would a commode be a better option?
He can't move on his own yet, but with our help, he might be able to. I just want him to feel a sense of dignity and comfort if possible.

I’ve always been someone who clings to memories; I try to preserve a piece of everything, much like my mother used to do. I'll never forget the look on my sisters' faces when I was gathering her hair from the floor while we were cutting it—they thought I was losing my mind, yet the very next day after the funeral, they were asking me for a single strand of her hair just to have something to hold onto. These days, my greatest comfort is playing recordings of our old conversations; they're often hilarious, and I just sit there listening to her voice. There is nothing quite like brewing coffee in her old pot in the morning (which was the first thing I grabbed from the house when she passed &#128515😉), putting on her robe, and just sitting there with my cup. Maybe because the memories are so vivid, the grief feels less heavy, because she is always present in something around me. I wish your Dad immense strength and a fierce will to live; everything else follows once that spark is there. Cherish every moment with him, even the difficult ones, and please, always have patience for him. There were times I felt like screaming at Mom when she’d insist I do something, especially when I was cooking her lunch because she couldn't manage it herself; she had this way of commanding me that could literally drive me to tears, though she never saw me cry over those petty things—only on the day she came home from the Mayo Clinic and told me she didn't have much time left. Don't ever let him see you cry, even when it feels impossible; just smile and stay upbeat, no matter how hard it gets. If you sink into sadness, he'll sink right along with you. I sincerely hope everything turns out okay with him and that you find the right path for his treatment. Wishing you all the best. 😃

Here I am again, bringing more heavy news. Mom passed away this past Wednesday. She had just come home from the hospital on Tuesday after finishing her radiation treatments, and then she simply fell asleep overnight. To be honest, I didn’t experience any overwhelming shock; given the circumstances, I was bracing for this exact moment. Every single day, we told each other how much we loved one another. I even told her that once she was gone, she should always "visit" me. I prayed to God that she wouldn't suffer, that she wouldn't be in pain, and that she would find the strength to stay with me and my sisters. I never prayed for a cure because, frankly, looking at a diagnosis like hers, I knew that was an impossible mountain to climb. I feel strangely calm, yet strangely lighthearted, because I know I said everything that needed to be said before she left. Truly, God granted her a passing without pain or agony, and He granted us a sense of peace. It might sound shameful to some, but I didn't shed a single tear at the funeral, and neither did my sisters. That evening, we sat together and laughed harder than we ever have in our lives—it was an indescribable feeling. Mom always insisted that instead of mourning her, we should celebrate her life with laughter. I don't know if that's unfair of us, but I can't explain why the grief hasn't hit yet; we are all acutely aware that she is gone. Perhaps the sadness will surface later, along with that deep void where she used to be... I just don't know. Throughout her illness, I gathered so many precious memories. From old photos and videos to the hair we collected after the chemo caused it to fall out—I kept it all as a keepsake for when she's no longer here. I’ve also recorded our phone conversations on my phone, so that in the moments when I desperately miss her, I can just press play and hear her voice again. Reflecting on everything, I realize that certain things are simply meant to happen in their own timing. I spent five years unemployed, and just two months ago, I finally started a new job—Mom, of course, cried tears of joy when she heard. My marriage had been so strained for ten years that I was ready to walk away, but in these last two months, everything has suddenly become wonderful. It makes me think that everything happens for a reason. To everyone currently fighting this disease or watching a loved one battle it: I wish you immense strength. Leave the rest to God, because no matter which way we turn, He always has a plan for us.

Angela Wright said:Losing limbs is a neurological failure. 😔
Regarding Decortin 40 mg, I’m terrified that it isn't actually the most appropriate steroid therapy available. When my mother was being treated, we went through absolute hell with dexamethasone because the doses she required far exceeded what you could find in a standard prescription pack. If I recall correctly, a single pack barely lasted her two and a half days. I actually asked her oncologist back then if switching to Medrole would be an option since the milligram count is higher, but she insisted that for glioblastoma, dexamethasone is the one and only way—anything else is just ineffective. In the end, operating in a total gray area, I ended up sourcing dexamethasone vials myself just so I could administer the injections to her.
Just ask them.

At the start of the illness, before we even knew what we were actually dealing with (we only suspected cancer), Mom was getting dex. She was also receiving Medrole. I remember this clearly because I saw it listed on the patient transfer sheets at the nursing station, though I have no idea why they were using both. Anyway, three days ago, we ended up at the emergency room in Jordanovac and it was a complete disaster. We thought they might admit her, and my primary doctor suggested trying the ER just in case they’d keep her, even though we knew it wasn't really an emergency admission. It was pure luck that we left, because follow-up tests revealed she has pleural effusion and cancer progression in her lungs, and this progression happened within just three weeks of her last check-up. 🙂 The results are a total catastrophe. The attending doctor at the ER didn't admit her... honestly, he didn't even tell me there was an effusion; he just said everything was fine, which I only discovered by reading the discharge papers myself. Despite Mom telling him repeatedly that nothing hurts—she hasn't taken a single painkiller since treatment began—he insisted on prescribing Tramal and patches. He wouldn't take no for an answer. So, the next day, I go to see my primary doctor, who was actually more panicked than I was. She’s a deeply compassionate physician, and after hearing about the patches and the Tramal, she told me she’d come for a home visit the following day to handle those patches herself. Then, she drops this bombshell: she tells me Mom probably won't be able to undergo radiation, so it might be best to get her moved to a high-end facility like the Mayo Clinic. I just sat there staring blankly, completely lost. 🤔 .... And then today, the doctor arrives for the home visit, examines Mom, and everything seems okay. We sit there for a few minutes, staring at each other in stunned silence because the doctor had fully expected Mom to be in a coma. Ultimately, she didn't apply the patches and agreed that Mom shouldn't take Tramal if she isn't in pain. As she was leaving, she whispered to me that Mom looks fantastic. She gave her a referral to Jordanovac to deal with that fluid—if it even is fluid—because Mom isn't experiencing any discomfort related to it; she sleeps like a log, stays active, 😁 and isn't showing signs of fatigue (so far). I keep wondering if that isn't just a trace from the previous effusion, but compared to the actual cancer progression, it could be fluid. I just don't understand why the ER doctor said nothing and why he was so adamant about the Tramal and the patches. To make matters worse, he dismissed the Tramal as just a way to manage pain, and regarding the Decortin, he claimed 40 mg is far too low. He said she should be getting at least double that, yet that was exactly what her pulmonologist prescribed. Now I am seriously contemplating switching back to dexamethasone. Is that even possible since she’s been on Decortin for three days already? Or maybe switch to Medrole if that’s superior? My doctor will likely only prescribe whatever she deems necessary, but is it even legal for me to make the switch?

Here I am again. My mother is scheduled to start radiation on November 21st, and honestly, things aren't looking great. She’s starting to lose some strength in her arms and legs... though, thank God, she isn't experiencing any actual pain or neurological issues just yet. As far as medication goes, they have her on Decortin 40 mg in the morning along with gastroprotection and Apazolom20 mg. She'll stay on that through the duration of the treatment, and once we finish, the plan is to taper the Decortin down by 5mg increments until she's off it completely. From what I can gather, they've labeled this as palliative radiation, which leads me to believe I shouldn't be holding out much hope for a miracle, right?

Angela Wright said:They’ll likely jump straight to cranial radiation. When you're dealing with small cell lung cancer that has metastasized to the brain, those microcellular clusters are notoriously sensitive to radiation treatment.
I was truly holding onto hope, praying it hadn't spread, but this damn small cell cancer is aggressive enough to target the brain in a heartbeat. ½í¸”
Make sure you get an abdominal ultrasound scheduled too, because more often than not, it hits the liver before making its way to the brain.

The follow-up for her lungs is set for November 16th, but I'm calling her doctor tomorrow to see if they can squeeze her in sooner while she's still feeling strong; waiting until mid-November feels like an eternity when you're watching this happen.

Grace Ross20 said:I am truly sorry to hear that. 😢 Where is the primary tumor located?

It’s small cell lung cancer. Honestly, fighting this feels like a lost cause, yet the results from just two weeks ago were nothing short of miraculous; everything had been going perfectly throughout this nine-month battle. It is the ultimate cruelty of life—just when you think you've finally turned the corner and gained momentum, metastases appear out of nowhere, all without any major warning signs other than her losing sensation in two fingers on her hand.

My mom just got her head CT results back today. To put it bluntly, they found four distinct lesions. Her primary care physician is convinced they're metastases...

Greetings to everyone. I posted here about three months ago when my mom was first diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. Initially, her doctor refused any kind of treatment because she was just too incredibly weak. However, once they confirmed it was small cell (which typically responds quite well to chemo), the doctor suggested we try chemotherapy anyway, reasoning that without intervention, her timeline would be tragically short regardless. Mom decided to take that gamble. Miraculously, she managed to survive six cycles of chemo. To my absolute surprise, the only side effect she really faced was hair loss; she didn't suffer from any nausea at all. In fact, she actually gained weight through the cycles, finally returning to a normal weight. It honestly feels as though the symptoms of the cancer itself were more debilitating than the treatment. For two months, she was dependent on diapers and spent nearly all her time in the hospital hooked up to oxygen and IV drips—it was truly horrific. After finishing the cycles, the doctor decided to give her a break for about three or four months, during which she comes in for monthly checkups to see how things progress. Three days ago, she had her second follow-up, which showed regression. Throughout the entire course of treatment, the tumor has shrunk by about 80%. But there is one specific development in this whole situation that is weighing heavily on my mind. About two weeks ago, Mom started losing sensation in her left arm, specifically from the elbow down to her fingers, though she isn't experiencing any pain. She can still function normally—washing dishes, gardening, weeding—and nothing slips from her grip, so this loss of feeling makes no sense to me. During the first cycle of chemo, the medication leaked from her arm because the IV wasn't placed properly; since she had fallen asleep during the infusion, she didn't notice anything until the nurses woke her up. Her doctor attributes this numbness to that chemical leak, yet he is sending her for a brain scan just to be safe. Once the imaging is done, we will know what we are dealing with. I am sincerely praying that it isn't anything serious...

Jamie Stewart said:I am so incredibly sorry about your mother!!! You might want to look into getting her some vitamin supplements; they aren't exactly cheap here in the States, but they really help bolster the immune system. We used them ourselves, and they made a noticeable difference in managing that crushing exhaustion during chemo...

I've been weighing my options regarding which vitamins would be most effective for her. My aunt works at a hospital in Switzerland, so she’s already putting together a customized regimen of dietary supplements based on what their doctors recommend there. The only catch is that she won't be back in the US until April 10th.

The bronchoscopy results finally came back today. After sitting down with the doctor, there’s actually some light at the end of the tunnel: Mom’s cancer is highly responsive to chemotherapy, so she starts treatment tomorrow. She’ll be staying at the clinic until Thursday and should be heading home by Friday, at which point we can map out the next phase of her care. When the doctor and I shared the news, she teared up a bit, though he managed to lift her spirits by explaining that the prognosis is actually quite promising compared to that initial, terrifying assumption that there was no hope left. It’s been a heavy road for our family, though; my aunt passed away from a cancer that spread everywhere—brain, bones, the works—and Dad lost his battle with leukemia, so Mom isn't walking into this blind; she knows exactly what the fight looks like.

They managed to complete the bronchoscopy, but she wasn't particularly rattled by it; seeing as so many people I know have gone through the same procedure lately, she just treated it like any other routine appointment. We reached a bit of a consensus that if we absolutely had to break the news about the cancer, we’d frame it as a benign growth that’s simply causing her trouble—it's a necessary white lie, because logically, she wouldn't understand how something could be "benign" when she clearly feels anything but fine. Now that they've drained that fluid, she can breathe without supplemental oxygen, and the doctor mentioned her heart function has finally stabilized back to a normal state. Right now, my primary focus is ensuring she doesn't view this hospital as her final destination, but rather as some sort of upscale hotel; she keeps insisting it feels like a stay at a resort because everyone is so attentive, the food is actually decent, and one of the nurses even brought her a TV. Plus, there's another lady in her room now, so after being alone for three days, they've become quite the pair. I'm slowly piecing the reality together in my mind, coming to terms with the fact that this is just how things go and that death is an inevitable part of the journey. At the very least, I was granted the chance to say thank you and tell her how much I love her... many people are robbed of that opportunity because life simply slips through your fingers far too fast.

Hello everyone. We received confirmation today that my mother has lung cancer. Surgery is completely off the table because the tumor has spread to both lungs, and her overall health just isn't strong enough to handle it. Chemotherapy isn't an option either. Tomorrow, they’re performing a bronchoscopy to pinpoint the exact type of cancer. For now, the doctor advised us not to say anything to her until she’s more stable; she recently suffered heart failure, so even a sudden shock could be fatal. I find myself wondering how to process this alone—how does one face a reality where every shred of hope for a cure has vanished? Instead of praying for a recovery, I catch myself merely hoping she falls into a deep sleep and never wakes up, simply because I cannot bear the thought of watching her suffer through the excruciating pain that is inevitably coming.

Jerry Bailey47 said:Look, boldridge3, YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT. Honestly, reading through this thread sometimes makes me feel like I’m listening to a group of ten-year-olds asking these kinds of questions. 🙄It’s been far too long since your relationship ended for a test to give you a false positive—plus, you were dealing with your period anyway. There is zero reason to worry.

I mean, I don't care if my period suddenly stopped, though it could easily be because I found my dog dead that morning and went into actual shock. My head started pounding right after, and then my period just cut off, so that's a highly plausible trigger. And yeah, everyone around me has been telling me I'm acting like a little girl lately. I've been driving everyone crazy with this constant "am I pregnant or not" loop. 🙂The only thing I know for certain—just like I wrote before—is that I am NEVER doing this again without protection. 🙂Stay safe, ladies.😍

mellowranger16 said:Why don't you just give your OB-GYN a call? It's not like you believe any of this anyway.

I already reached out to a doctor through my sister, but I've got an appointment scheduled with my own physician this Monday to see if he can squeeze me in immediately. The catch is his schedule is incredibly limited—he's only in the office three days a week—and since he doesn't work Fridays, I'm playing a bit of a waiting game. If he can't fit me in, I'll just pivot to the doctor my sister recommended. Honestly, I am a total neurotic when it comes to health stuff; I have this tendency to spiral and imagine every possible worst-case scenario the moment I start taking action. This whole ordeal has been a massive wake-up call, acting as a harsh lesson that ensures I will never, ever consider unprotected sex again. I would much rather deal with the side effects of birth control once a month than ever have to relive this terrifying anxiety.🙂

Back at it again🙂 I just finished running a big-scale test— 🙂 though I’m still trying to wrap my head around how reliable the results actually are. 🤷 To make matters worse, my doctor practically laughed in my face when I mentioned my period started and that I wanted to take a pregnancy test. She insisted that if I were pregnant, my cycle wouldn't have shown up right on schedule at all; she argued it would have been late, whereas according to my own tracking, my period actually arrived two days early. 😕

My period started back up at work today, 🙂 even though I barely had any flow yesterday or through the night 😠. It’s driving me absolutely insane. My breasts are incredibly sore, and my stomach is constantly cramping—not exactly sharp pain, just this relentless, uncomfortable bloating. It’s typical for me during my cycle, but still exhausting. I was getting so desperate that I actually called my sister to get her OB-GYN's number, then reached out to the doctor directly to ask for advice. She basically told me to hold off until Monday when I can swing by her office so we can figure this out properly; she said there’s no point in throwing money away on tests right now if they aren't going to give me anything concrete. 🙂

Jerry Bailey47 said:Where on earth did you get that from? It’s just not right—the later you run the test (specifically regarding the relationship), the higher the probability of accuracy.

My last time was over a month ago. My period has completely vanished... I didn't even use a tampon overnight, and by morning, there wasn't a single drop. I'm heading straight to CVS right after work to grab a test. Then I'll finally have my answer. 🙂 I've been falling down rabbit holes on various forums lately, reading every single thing imaginable about pregnancy, and honestly, it's overwhelming. I was talking to my sister about it last night, and she just laughed when I told her I needed to wait for my next cycle before testing. She once took two tests totally at random without waiting for her period, and they both came back positive—my little boys are living proof of that. 😉

I am honestly losing my mind here. I’ve been dealing with constant bloating for ten days straight, and my stomach is sticking out like I’m several months pregnant. 😉 My digestion is also completely off; I’m barely having a bowel movement every other day, which might be part of the issue. On top of that, my period has never been this light before—usually, it lasts about four days, with the first two being heavy and the last two tapering off, but this is practically non-existent. It’s like it didn't even happen. I’ve never had issues like this in my life. I’m 25, and since I started my cycle back in elementary school, I’ve only dealt with irregularities a handful of times. If I take a pregnancy test tomorrow, will the results actually be reliable? Usually, you’re supposed to wait a few days before your expected period, so the timing of all this is just throwing me for a loop. 😕

I just noticed my period has suddenly cut short. I’ve been using tampons, but today the flow has been incredibly light. When I went to change my tampon just now, there was barely any blood at all—just a tiny bit of darker spotting at the top. It’s extremely minimal. I put this one in about two or three hours ago, and everything seemed totally normal yesterday; in fact, I went through about 20 tampons over the first two days and even had some small clots. Usually, this lasts me four days straight. Is there any kind of home test I could run tomorrow or maybe Friday to confirm if this is truly the end of my cycle, even though it feels like it's finished today? Also, when is the earliest I can get a blood pregnancy test? My doctor at Mayo Clinic has such an unpredictable schedule and won't even be back in the office until Monday. People, I need help here!

bluetiger212 said:My sister and one of my close friends both dealt with some bleeding during their first trimester. It definitely wasn't just a light period; the flow was heavier, the color was darker, and it was completely free of clots... Well, I'm certain about the lack of clots, though I guess the color might vary from person to person.

I agree—your cycle isn't going to look the same once you're pregnant. I actually noticed some small clots yesterday. My main issue is that my period usually only lasts three or four days; by day four, the flow is so light that I really only count it as a two-day period. In situations like this, I'd actually prefer if it lasted longer. I stopped taking birth control two months ago because my boyfriend landed a job in Germany, and since I barely see him twice a month, I felt like there was no point in being on pills just for one encounter every few weeks. 🙂 Plus, honestly, those pills never sat well with my body anyway. Since I quit them, we’ve been using condoms religiously, though we skipped it last time. 🙂 To be blunt, I don't want a baby right now, but if I happen to be pregnant, there's nothing I can do about it. I don't think I am, but I'm still going to take a test before my next period arrives. I've overthought this so much that I'm losing sleep over it, which only makes everything worse. We women always tend to spiral into a panic before we even have the facts. 🙂