Posts by Douglas Moore92

hiddenheron58 said:But don't you think there's even a tiny chance he might calm down? Like, maybe he'll just grow out of it once puberty passes and things settle back to normal? Isn't it common for kids to go through these wild phases only to have their hormones level out later?... Is there really no hope at all? It has to be...😢

It's more than just hormones, and I guess this won't just fix itself.
Without actual professional help, things probably won't get better. You need someone who can support you first, so you can actually reach your son and hear him—really hear him. He’s screaming because that’s clearly the only way he knows how to make himself heard. Once you actually listen, maybe then you can get him to cooperate with you, a specialist, his sister, whoever.

There are real experts and then there are people who just pretend to be. Just keep looking until you find someone who actually helps.

For now, maybe try meeting him halfway. He clearly isn't going to come to you. If he comes home from school pissed off, just leave him alone. Don't start with the "son, listen to me" talk or a bunch of questions. I mean, just pick your battles and wait for a better time to talk. Give him space. Not because you don't care, but because he needs room to breathe. Maybe if you give him that, he'll eventually come to you.

And just keep loving him. Always. But do it quietly. He needs to know you're there without feeling smothered.

Try not to take sides when they fight, or you'll just be adding fuel to the fire. That just makes it harder for the siblings to bond. You aren't a judge. You're their mom, and you love them both the same. Regardless of who started it, it takes two to tango.

When they're fighting, just try to break the cycle of insults calmly. Even a loud "Enough!" might work. Maybe one day you'll all be able to sit down and actually talk about how everyone feels. Before that happens, try talking to them one-on-one. Don't act like a mediator between them; just focus on them as individuals.

I'm not sure if punishments even work. From what I see, they don't seem to help much. Why keep pushing them? Maybe he just thinks you're punishing him because you don't love him or you favor his sister.

I guess you're going to need a lot of patience, strength—not force—and a ton of love. They need to feel that love from you, more than they see it in what you do.

shadowpilot8 said:Under the rules of certain subforums, take the US Legal System for example.

Someone introduced them, and everyone else just follows suit. 🤷

It seems foolish to insist on such rigid regulations. I’m exercising my discretion to ignore what strikes me as trivial nonsense. Ideally, this could be organized into a formal set of rules paired with a list of recommendations—guidelines that shouldn't carry penalties except in extreme cases.

I guess I agree. It feels pretty stupid to be so obsessed with MQ. Even though I use it fairly often myself (and I think it looks better 😁), sometimes it just feels wrong, especially when an argument gets heated and you have to go back and edit a post just to reply to something new. It just thins out the conversation and kills the momentum. Plus, shoving a new response into an old post when the topic has moved on seems pretty dumb.

The idea of using recommendations instead of hard rules sounds okay to me. As for the people just spamming posts, those usually don't add anything to the thread anyway, so they can just be deleted or maybe penalized if needed.