Posts by Matthew Ortiz13

Good grief, you guys have all completely lost it. Seriously, does anyone here actually read what they’re typing? Hey. People, please, just take a second to read your own posts. It feels like a literal asylum in here with how crazy everyone is acting. I honestly feel like I should be taking screenshots of everything being said. This is unbelievable. I just hope some social psychology professor doesn't have a heart attack when they see these transcripts. Because I'm genuinely shocked right now. It’s no wonder most of you don't know the first thing about how life actually works until you've been through the same ringer yourselves. You guys are out of your minds.

Christian Wells3 said:Hey, hope this PDF works okay.

If not, feel free to move it.

My question is: How can I be a good person without getting walked all over? People have taken advantage of my kindness and naivety way too many times.

The last time it happened was just a few months ago.

I was living in a small rental apartment. There was this older janitor in the building (he had some special needs). He was a great guy, seriously, he always helped me out, wasn't making much money, and lived in this run-down little shack. Anyway, I suddenly had a death in the family and ended up moving into a much bigger place. Since the old place was furnished, I told my former landlord he could give my stuff (TV, fridge, bed) to the janitor.

A few days ago, I called my old landlord because a coworker needed a place to crash for a couple of nights. Not only did he charge her an insane amount ( $333 for just 3 days, when I used to pay $200 plus utilities), but he actually sold all my stuff and didn't give a single thing to the janitor...

There have been plenty of other times where I've been used and ripped off.

What I want to know is, how do you carry yourself in life so things like this don't happen? I'm the type of person who would give someone the shirt off my back to help them through a hard time, but I almost always end up getting played.

Sent from my Huawei P30 using Reddit

We don't know the whole backstory here, so I won't get into the weeds of that. But you're asking "how?" Well, how many times have you actually paused and thought about what you're intending to do? From the way you're writing this, it sounds to me like you're operating purely on impulse when making decisions—both for yourself and when trying to solve other people's problems.

Start positioning yourself to think first about your actions and realistically assess the chances of a "fairytale" outcome actually happening. The issue isn't necessarily with other people; it's with you, because you're the one allowing this to happen. You're letting others maintain control over you while ignoring the fact that you are the one who created this situation in the first place.

Aaron Anderson51 said:Here’s the deal: my husband has this buddy who’s been seeing the same girl for about three years now. They’re both in their early thirties, and they’ve already done the whole family introduction thing where everyone hangs out...
The thing is, she’s dealing with some heavy stuff—malignant ovarian tumors. She’s had surgeries and chemo multiple times, but the tumors just keep coming back every single time. Her doctors are basically telling her there’s only one way to actually get healthy: she needs to have both ovaries and her uterus removed.
But she’s digging her heels in because she wants kids, so she’s putting off the surgery to hold onto that chance. She knows he isn't ready for marriage or fatherhood either, so she's willing to wait another two or three years, even if it means wrecking her hormonal balance or, honestly, risking her life given what she's fighting...

So, here’s where the drama starts. My husband let it slip to me that her boyfriend actually has zero interest in having kids with her—not now, not ever. I totally lost it because, given everything she's going through, that feels incredibly selfish and just plain dishonest.
When I pressed him on why the guy is wasting both of their lives if there's no future there, he just shut down and wouldn't say another word...

I really want to know what you guys think. Am I just being dramatic over nothing, or am I right to be pissed? And should I tell her what he said?
What’s eating at me most is that I have no clue if they’ve even talked about this. I assume they have, but I can't help but wonder if he's giving her the straight truth or if he's just sugarcoating it, saying "not right now" when he really means "never."
Because if he's lying, she's living in this total fantasy land, throwing away her health and her time on someone who isn't going to give her what she needs... maybe even losing her last shot at being a mother in the process.

If she actually knew the truth, she’d have two real paths: 1. If she loves him enough to accept his stance, she could go ahead with the surgery and save her life. 2. Or, she could stop wasting her breath on him and find someone else who actually wants the same things she does.

Then there’s that other classic scenario... where he *has* told her everything, but she’s doing that thing women sometimes do where she thinks she can change his mind if she just waits long enough...

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you step in and talk to her, or just stay out of it and let them handle their own mess? Especially since if I do stick my nose in, it’s definitely going to cause a massive blowout in my own relationship too...

So, your husband is sitting on information that could literally save a woman's life, and he's just acting like everything is fine instead of speaking up after finding out? Is your husband actually a man or just a coward? (No offense intended) You're holding onto info that could save her, and you're essentially doing the exact same thing your silent husband is doing. Honestly, it's good that you're even questioning it, because you clearly realize that what your husband and his friend are doing is degenerate and wrong. Only complete psychopaths act like this. At least you have a conscience that's bothering you; clearly, your husband and his friend don't have that problem.

Basically, you're saying you're willing to let another person live in a lie and stay ignorant of facts that could save her life, all just so you can keep the peace with your idiot—and I mean literal idiot—of a husband?

First off, if I were you, I'd be asking myself what kind of person I married—someone who can just pretend everything is okay and suppress life-saving information. Second, I’d hate myself if I didn't say something, even if it meant blowing up the relationship between your husband and his friend, or you and your husband. At least then you'd know that his friend's feelings matter more to him than yours. Where is the humanity? Especially from your husband and his friend.

Look, just call her. Set up a meeting, face her, and lay it all out on the table—even if she throws it back in your face. At the very least, you’ll finally know the truth. If you're married to a complete piece of trash, you deserve to know. Honestly, after having coffee with her, anyone would start questioning what kind of person they actually tied their life to. If things get messy because you spoke up, just realize that you and your husband are just as responsible as her boyfriend is. All three of you collectively decided how much longer she could live a lie, surrounded by fake friends and constant acting. Do you really want to carry the weight of someone dying on your conscience? Please. Go find her. Take your husband along too, so he can learn how decent people actually behave. It sounds like her father never bothered to teach her basic humanity, so go ahead and tell her everything.

God, Americans are unbelievable. You guys would seriously let someone die just to keep the peace in your own relationship—a relationship you entered into with a total loser, for that matter. Please, deal with this immediately. This is the kind of situation you report to the police and Child Protective Services. If this isn't resolved by next week, I’ve already taken screenshots, and as a responsible citizen, I will be filing a report against you, your husband, and your friend for reckless endangerment. Honestly, a moderator should be stepping in here. I’m not kidding. If this isn't settled by October 21st, I am sending everything to the cops and CPS, and let them come looking for you to see what's really going on. Unbelievable. Gambling with someone's life like it's some trivial matter... it's sick.

@Matthew Ortiz13 - all the actual research shows that porn addiction doesn't drive the development of pedophilia, nor does sexual orientation (being gay or bi) play a role in its emergence. In fact, modern psychology views pedophilia as a sexual orientation in itself. Studies indicate that most pedophiles are actually straight, not bi. I suggest reading the book Stop Child Abuse where you'll find the data I'm talking about along with plenty of other info. I’d ask that from now on, you provide links for any claims you make, otherwise I’ll have to issue a warning. Consider this a moderator's warning.

The guy starts this thread on LDS asking for a scientific discussion, then turns around and just spits out his own opinion. He joins the debate without providing a single shred of research, instead citing literature that doesn't follow any actual studies and relies more on what someone *thinks* rather than hard facts. Meanwhile, he denied me the chance to post my sources (because apparently, I didn't realize we were supposed to be having a "scientific" debate). So, he just asserts things, threatens people with warnings and penalties, but doesn't follow his own rules. When I asked to close a thread before, he never did it, but now he's jumping in within a few hours because someone else asked to close a different thread, effectively blocking me from presenting research that proves he's wrong. And then he immediately jumps to threatening me with sanctions. This is already the third moderator who's just trolling.

According to the rules of this forum, this moderator is straight-up moderator trolling. I wonder if he'll get hit with a 35 or 45 point penalty?! I'm betting he won't. Just like that other moderator who trolls by pushing nonsense, like claiming you need a permit just to exist.

I really think moderators should be barred from participating in discussions. Some of them don't even know the basic rules of this site, while regular users are expected to read them cover to cover. Then you end up with a moderator who trolls more than ten participants combined on their own thread.

I'm dropping the research links here, and I honestly hope this moderator at least gets a warning for the trolling.

http://salifeline.org/article/pornog...n/his-recovery
http://www.cracked.com/personal-expe...lia-worse.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/

All these studies—yet there is only one major global study showing two specific correlations regarding pedophilia: one relating to childhood trauma and another to pornography addiction. The other single study ever conducted shows that pedophiles are NON-HETEROsexual. — those are direct quotes from a MEDICAL STUDY on PEDOPHILIA. 🙂

PS. That book he’s recommending talks about child abuse in general—physical and psychological violence. It isn't just about pedophilia, but a much broader spectrum of violence against children. Nowhere in that book does it mention the only world-renowned study involving psychologists, psychiatrists, neuroscientists, and biochemists. 85% of pedophiles never commit child abuse, 10% are addicted to pornography, and only 5% are actual child abusers. That was the finding from the 2008 study. So, the moderator really stepped in it with his nonsense; he missed the mark on the literature entirely, because that globally recognized study happened in 2003, while the book he mentioned was published in 2001. Forum users absolutely love it when moderators troll them or when mods act uneducated, which is why I think they should be kept out of debates. When they participate, they aren't doing their jobs objectively; they let their emotions take over and try to flex their power when they realize they look foolish—it's classic moderator trolling.

Feel free to ban me if you think that’ll somehow clear things up for you. Though, honestly? I doubt it. 🙂

P.S. We seriously need a sub-forum called: Report the Moderator. You know, a place where mods could actually rotate out after handing themselves red cards because they're trolling their own community. Is that even possible when the whole platform is run by trolls? It feels like the average user here knows the rules better than the actual moderators who "enforce" them just because they're acting out of spite.