Posts by Angela Wright

velvetgull9 said:So I checked out a private clinic—not one in Washington, D.C., though—and they told me there’s basically zero chance of getting anything refunded because of how their rules work. It's kind of wild, especially since most of the meds were already covered.

I guess it all comes down to the individual owner. People pull all sorts of stunts these days; I'm sure they have some internal system in place to sweep it under the rug.
Personally, whenever I have leftover meds that are still good, I just donate them, so I really can't say for certain how they operate.
I'll try to track down which specific pharmacy this was, and if I find out anything, I'll shoot you a DM.

velvetgull9 said:Pharmacies aren't even allowed to take meds back. That's what they told me when I tried returning a whole bunch of stuff my dad didn't need anymore.

Maybe at a local CVS or Walgreens, but those independent pharmacies will do it. They'll even hand you an antibiotic without a prescription if you push them enough. My guess is if the packaging is still factory-sealed, they might take it. I haven't personally returned anything, but I know plenty of people who have.

Casey Hernandez63 said:Not even if it’s been sitting there, totally sealed up and untouched?

Let me clear things up here.
The person using it ended up dealing with some minor allergic reaction after about ten days, so their doctor basically said, "Don't touch this stuff again." Since then, I've already gone out and grabbed three more boxes—that's 12 tubes total—which are all just chilling in the fridge right now, completely unopened.
The one tube that actually got opened? Yeah, that’s already in the trash.
As for the rest, they're basically pristine.

If nobody has used them yet, feel free to pass them along. But honestly, why not just head down to a CVS or Walgreens and see if you can swap them for something you actually need?

velvetseal9 said:Look, I’m putting in the effort here—I mean, she at least gets flowers or something sweet once a week!😍
She’s actually really into yoga and hitting the gym, but she just can't find the time, so don't come at me!
I'd be the happiest guy on the planet if I could just decompress for a minute...🙂

I get that everyone's slammed, but you have to make it happen. It’s non-negotiable. You can always scrape together a few hours a week. At the very least, go take a walk through a park or out in nature.

velvetseal9 said:She gets pretty stressed out, mostly because of her college coursework, and I try to help her out when I can...🙂
She eats regularly, but let's be honest, people our age don't exactly watch what they eat.
So you think it could be the stress combined with junk food?
Anyway, thanks.

It absolutely can. And honestly, I hope you guys are taking some precautions, because relying on tracking fertile and infertile days isn't going to cut it in your situation.😬
Also, try to convince her to dial back the college anxiety a notch. Maybe suggest she hits up a yoga class or a gym session to just burn off that nervous energy. What's the point of her getting a stomach ulcer this early in life?😉

velvetseal9 said:Look, just to clear things up, I’m asking this on behalf of my girlfriend. She doesn't have access to a computer right now and she isn't exactly thrilled about trekking out to an OB-GYN, so I figured I'd post here instead!
As you can probably tell from the title, her period started today, even though her last one was only two weeks ago...
She isn't on birth control, she isn't taking any pills, and most importantly, she hasn't had any of her usual PMS symptoms (which for her usually means a couple of breakouts, increased hunger, some irritability, cramps, or tender breasts).
Basically, none of those signs showed up, and the whole thing arrived two weeks early. Usually, she's pretty consistent—within a day or two of her expected date—but nothing like this has ever happened before.
She thinks it's probably not an issue with her ovaries or hormones since she hasn't noticed any changes in skin texture or hair growth.
We've never dealt with this before, so if anyone has any insight or ideas... 🙏

Yeah, it's likely hormonal or ovarian related. It sounds like premature ovulation. That happens; it can be triggered by a sudden shock, physical trauma, or it might just happen for no reason at all. Has there been anything stressful or traumatic in the last month? Has she been upset or angry about something? Is her diet consistent and healthy? It could also be a minor ovarian inflammation that sped up the process.
I don't think it's anything major, but if this pattern repeats during her next few cycles, she really needs to go see a doctor for a checkup.

Casey Hernandez63 said:So, I’ve ended up with way more of this eye ointment than I actually need.
Usually, a tube like this goes for about fifteen bucks at the local drugstore, but I'm looking to just pass mine along to someone who can actually use them—I'll let them go for ten.
If you happen to grab a few, we can totally figure out a meetup somewhere in the Washington, D.C. area to make delivery easy.

That said, you shouldn't really be sharing eye ointment with anyone—you risk spreading whatever's going on from one eye to the other via the tip of the tube.

Chloe Jones95 said:I was completely numb, just keeping everyone at arm's length. Then I fell in love, and it was like I finally broke down, cried it all out, and actually started living again. I'm just so grateful to my man for being my rock and putting up with me.😍

I also happened to meet the most incredible person in the world when I was hitting rock bottom, 😍, yet when life was actually going smoothly, I spent years feeling lonely and miserable.
He’s my guardian angel, and honestly, I think he's the reason I finally tapped into this new strength inside myself. Love is everything—that profound realization that you aren't walking this path alone. In my opinion, the people who step into your life during your darkest hours and decide to stick by you until the very end? Those are the real ones.👍

Chloe Jones95 said:After dealing with the agony of losing both my grandmothers and then my dad, I’m just completely spent. Now my mom is fighting cancer, too, and I’ve run dry—no more tears, no more encouraging words, no willpower left... there’s nothing left but a hug and long silence...
I'm just thankful my mom is a fighter...

It kills me that you're going through this; it sounds so much heavier than what I've faced. Even though my grandmother was under hospice care and passed away right in my arms, it didn't drag on nearly as long as this. My mom is doing really poorly today. The day started out so bright—she was even having a lovely chat on the phone with her cousin—but then, right before lunch, she just completely shut down. She can't finish a single sentence anymore; her speech is broken, incoherent, and totally disconnected. It’s terrifying to think about what happens when she loses the ability to communicate entirely. How will I know if she's thirsty? How will I know if she's in pain?

Yesterday, my dad was unnamed with this massive lump on the back of his head. It’s immovable, looks like bone has grown over it, and he says it's painful. I'm starting to spiral into a panic.
I know it doesn't offer much comfort, but things happen for a reason, and for some inexplicable cause, you were the one chosen to carry this caregiver's burden on your shoulders. Maybe God orchestrated it this way because you were the only one with the strength to handle it.

Don't let your spirit break. We have strength deep inside us even when it feels like we've hit zero. If someone had told me eighteen months ago that my life would turn into this gauntlet, I would have told them it was impossible. Me? That strong? Honestly, looking back at everything I've endured and am still enduring... I don't even know how I'm doing it.

Life is suffering, and people will be a lot happier once they finally realize that. Those who understand this are the lucky ones; they know exactly what I mean. Nothing in this life is certain except for hardship, but suffering isn't a negative thing. Some of the most beautiful things are born from pain. A mother goes through pain to bring life. Only those who have truly suffered can truly appreciate the tiny, fleeting joys of existence. I'm a believer, and even though I haven't been particularly religious lately, it's only through this struggle that things have become crystal clear to me. Suffering purifies; it enlightens.

We all carry our own cross, and it is precisely as heavy as we are capable of bearing (that's a fact, believe me). Along this path, we stumble and rise again, lifted by the love of those around us, who shoulder part of our weight so we can make it to the end. That is the core philosophy of life: suffering and love.

If it means anything to you, and if you have faith, know that through your love, your devotion, and your sacrifice, you are earning your ticket to Paradise. When your time eventually comes, everyone you cared for will be there to carry you.🙏
Don't worry, better days are coming. The One above has a plan for you; just surrender to it and you'll see how everything falls into place. It’s all going to be okay, you'll see.

mistyranger4 said:A family member of mine isn't dealing with a tumor, but rather a rapidly progressing muscular dystrophy. Because he used to be such an open, communicative, and cheerful guy, this sudden loss of autonomy is hitting him hard; he’s becoming increasingly moody, angry, and irritable with everyone around him. I am doing everything within my power to help him, to ease his burden, and to minimize his suffering. It makes it all the more difficult for me because I’m constantly catching the brunt of his lashings—he hits me with a storm of angry words every single day. It isn't always like this, but it's happening more often. We probably need psychological support to handle this properly, but where do we even turn? And who should we look for?

I'm sorry, I completely missed your post and only just saw it today. Honestly, I wouldn't know who else to turn to for mental health support besides asking a primary care physician for a referral. Sometimes you need a sort of passive therapy, where you see a psychologist who can work with you personally and coach you on how to talk to him or how to soften his edges (though I know that can get incredibly expensive).
You have to develop nerves of steel, because believe me, if you break, things will only get harder for him. Try to find ways to turn things into a joke whenever possible. When you feel like he needs to do something, don't approach him with commands like "you have to," "come on," or "just do it." Instead, try something like, "Do you think it might make things easier if..." or "What do you think about...".
My own mother could never stand being told what to do, especially when the order came from me (God forbid🙂 ), and I realized that when I say, "But Mom, you really have to, please," it isn't out of spite, but when I ask, "Do you think maybe you should do this because of X and Y," I'm putting her back in the driver's seat. It gives her a sense of control over her own life, which is vital. Illness strips away our agency and makes us dependent on others, and that is incredibly frustrating; people with strong personalities can become absolutely unbearable when they lose that independence.
I hope this helps at all, even though I'm struggling with this exact same thing myself.

Carol Ramirez said:Grandpa starts his second round of chemo today. It’s going to be spread out over three days. He hasn't lost all his hair just yet, but he tells me he’s officially one of those "modern bald guys" now, so he might as well embrace the look. 😉
I try my best not to overwhelm him with all my medical research and constant doctor talk, but honestly, he’s incredibly disciplined about following everything I give him. He says he doesn't care if the stuff tastes terrible or looks gross, as long as it makes him feel stronger.
So far, I've managed to keep his blood counts steady. There was a point where his white blood cell count started dipping, but we managed to pull through that hurdle.
Sometimes, though, I just hit a wall. I feel completely helpless, wondering what else I can possibly do to help him. I find myself spinning in circles. I don't want to have to play the part of the psychologist, the nurse, the granddaughter, or just... a normal person who can have a regular conversation and actually laugh. Sometimes I just collapse into bed and try to remember herbal remedies, recipes, or anything else I haven't tried yet. It feels like total despair.
But most of the time, I’m right there in the trenches with him. When we're fighting this together, nothing feels too heavy—not even grating ginger, squeezing juices, brewing complicated teas, or mixing up all those various concoctions. We laugh, too. A lot of genuine, unforced laughter. 🙂

I know that feeling of helplessness—that constant, nagging loop of asking yourself if you've done every single thing possible. In my experience, the best thing you can do is just stay true to yourself and try to maintain some semblance of a normal daily routine as much as life allows. Treat the illness and the treatment like a chore or an obligation that just needs to get done. And whatever you do, don't let him see the desperation or the tears. When it gets to be too much and you feel like you're breaking, go into the bathroom, turn on the shower, grab a pillow, and scream into it. Screaming was my release valve. Afterward, I always felt a sense of peace, like a weight had been lifted from my chest.
Just realize that by simply being there for your grandfather and looking after him, you are already doing an incredible amount. There are so many forgotten, sick elderly people out there left to the care of strangers. Even though he's battling this, your grandfather is blessed with the love of his granddaughter, which is truly the greatest thing a person can achieve in this life. Because of you, his life is full. He is lucky to have you. 😘
Keep being brave, keep loving your grandpa with everything you've got, and keep laughing with him like you have been. Honest laughter is medicine; it drives the demons away. 😁

granitecrane38 said:Honestly... just pure panic... 🙂
I haven't actually forgotten a pill before. I was on Triquilar a while back, then took a break for about a year...
and I only just started back on these this month. My period was from the 2nd to the 5th, and that’s when I restarted them, so yeah... 🙂

Look, the main thing is that it's over now. I had a total meltdown about six months ago because I couldn't get to CVS until the next day since it was the weekend. At that point, I’d been on Yasmin for over half a year, so I just skipped that one pill. I was freaking out until the woman at the clinic called me and said they didn't have my specific brand in stock, but then the on-call doctor stepped in and told me I didn't need to sweat it given how long I'd been consistently taking Yasmin. Since then, I haven't missed a single dose, and 😬it doesn't look like you will either, based on what you're saying.😁

granitecrane38 said:Hey everyone..

I have a question.
I’m on Triquilar birth control. Last Thursday (which was also when I had sex), I missed my pill. I didn't realize until Friday night, so I just stopped taking them altogether. Late that Thursday night (after having sex), I had this incredibly heavy brown discharge, but by Friday there was nothing left. Then on Saturday, I had some bleeding—really heavy—so just to be safe, I took an emergency contraceptive (Plan B). Since then, on Sunday and today, there hasn't been any more bleeding or discharge. My last period started on January 2nd and only lasted about 2-3 days, and it was extremely painful.

Does anyone know if it's possible that my period just got cut short because I took the emergency pill?

Thanks in advance for the help! 😉

Good grief, what were you thinking?😘
Do you actually realize what Plan B is? It's a massive dose of hormones designed to stop pregnancy.
What you experienced was essentially a withdrawal bleed triggered because you abruptly interrupted your cycle by stopping your regular pills. You should have taken the missed pill along with the one from that day and finished out the pack. What you didn't mention is which day of your cycle you were on, or which week. I'm assuming you were near the end of the pack, since you bled so quickly after.
If you've been on oral contraceptives for more than six months, the odds of getting pregnant from one missed pill are lower because your hormone levels are stabilized enough to prevent ovulation; even if ovulation did occur, the body wouldn't be able to sustain an implantation. That’s why women trying to conceive after being on the pill for a long time often need a little time for their bodies to "reset" hormonally before they can successfully get pregnant.

ruggednomad182 said:Back at the start of 2004, I ended up in the infectious disease ward because my fever was spiking. After a whole battery of tests, I got hit with the shock of a CT scan diagnosis: colon cancer. At Mayo Clinic, they performed a right hemicolectomy just a few days later—they had to cut out the tumor, part of the colon, a section of the small intestine, and the associated mesentery including the blood vessels and lymph nodes. Once the surgical wounds healed, I endured seven grueling rounds of chemotherapy. For a while, follow-up results always looked good—to put it bluntly, everything was within normal limits. I lived from one test result to the next, and that kind of uncertainty takes a massive toll on your mental stability. I tried to handle it stoically, or at least that’s how I tell myself. Meanwhile, I constantly wondered how my family was coping. How was this hitting my kids at school, among their friends? My wife was my rock, my connection to the world, managing our finances and keeping the household running while trying not to crack under the pressure. Then, after two and a half years, the recurrence hit. I felt it coming. A nipple on my left breast retracted and wouldn't pop back out, and then I felt a lump in the upper left quadrant. I started vomiting, dealing with diarrhea and tremors. It was the exact same set of symptoms I had before the surgery in 2004. Urination became difficult, and I started dropping weight rapidly. Even minor scratches on my arms wouldn't heal. Instead of heading straight to a doctor, I followed the unnamed protocol by Rudolf Breus. For 42 days, I lived entirely on a regimen of vegetable juices and various herbal teas. To make a long story short, all those physical symptoms vanished. Subsequent medical tests showed I was in excellent health, though I lost 35 pounds between the starvation aspect and the illness itself. I still have a CT scheduled for January 30th. My biggest mistake was not getting checked out before starting the fast.

Please, if you can, point us toward a specific book or a link regarding this therapy. I am personally very interested.
I’ve read about several cases online where people pivoted to alternative treatments and actually pulled through. There was one woman with an astrocytoma—a brain tumor—who, much like my mother, walked away from conventional medicine. She operated on the premise that her body was reacting this way because of a lifestyle dedicated to pleasing everyone else. She actually started "communicating" with the tumor, asking it what needed to happen for it to leave so she could heal. She learned how to say "no," overhauled her diet using macrobiotics, got physically active, stripped away everything causing her stress, and finally aligned her life with her own needs. She recovered, and it hasn't come back. That was ten years ago.
Sometimes, a person’s internal defense mechanism kicks in—that primal instinct that tells you exactly what to do—but we either fail to recognize it or we aren't brave enough to listen. I am deeply convinced that the human immune system is capable of overcoming anything, but why that vital mechanism fails to trigger isn't something anyone can truly explain. Perhaps it's because we’ve become so disconnected from nature that we lack the instinct of a dog or a cat, which would instinctively eat certain grasses to kickstart that recovery process.
My grandfather used to have a cat that would hunt rattlesnakes. Many times the snake would bite him, and he’d immediately bolt into the field to graze on specific grasses, spending the next day vomiting black bile. He’d spend three days fasting, drinking nothing but water. By the fourth day, the old cat was back. Once, a snake emerged from the brush before the grass had grown back; the cat attacked, got bitten, and since there was no grass to eat, he died.
I honestly feel like we’re drowning in pills for every little thing, yet somehow we've managed to lose touch with those primal, ancient remedies that used to be our foundation. It makes me think that certain primitive cultures living deep in the wilderness surely have a cure for unnamed, if they ever face it.

Don't beat yourself up about not doing more research before starting your treatment. What matters most is that you're okay and that the approach actually worked for you—now you have that knowledge to pass along to others. Honestly, I might stop hovering over the shoulder of people whose methods didn't end up helping me anyway.

One thing that’s absolutely vital for patients, and especially for those of us who love them, is finding a way to let off some steam. We have to channel this stress and the trauma we carry inside somewhere, otherwise, it'll just eat us alive and make us sick too. For me, these forums serve as that outlet. My personal way of coping is writing about everything my mom and my family are going through, hoping my insights can help someone else. I'll probably spend the rest of my life dedicated to fighting unnamed. To me, unnamed is a demon, and I've made it my life's mission to hunt it down wherever it dares to show up. This disease doesn't just physically and mentally torture the patient; it tears at the souls of everyone who loves them. It's a cursed, stinking blight!😠

hiddentiger80 said:I’m just totally lost now... if a surgeon tells you to see an oncologist, which one do you actually go to? If, for instance, this lady specializes in radiation, does that mean she doesn't handle anything else?

They actually handle everything, even though every specialist has a specific niche within a certain type of cancer. Her specialty might be radiation, but she guides her patients from day one until the very end. Every single treatment decision—the type of chemo used, the exact radiation dosage—is decided during multidisciplinary tumor boards where all the oncologists weigh in with their suggestions and expertise.
The reason I singled out Dr. Gamulin is because she frequently sacrifices her own well-being to help her patients. To be specific, she’ll work from 8 AM straight through to 8 PM—often skipping lunch entirely—even though her shift is supposed to end at 4 PM if she isn't on call. As long as there are patients, she won't leave. Some other oncologists at the unnamed hospital's outpatient clinic will just leave incredibly sick patients waiting all day, even when they have morning appointments and have traveled from another city, only to be sent home at the end of the day and told to come back tomorrow. That happens because doctors simply disappear—they head home or off to a meeting and don't bother coming back.
Dr. Gamulin has never done that, at least not in my mother's case. You might have to wait a long time, but she always shows up eventually.
Unfortunately, there aren't enough of them at the unnamed facility, and everyone is completely overwhelmed. Plus, some of them refuse to work overtime out of pure spite toward the administration or the Department of Health.

hiddentiger80 said:@ Angela Wright - if the surgery was successful and everything looks clean, shouldn't an oncologist be ordering markers and an MRI or CT scan? And if those come back clear, why not skip chemo? Also, what happens if something just feels "off" after the tests? One more thing: is every oncologist a generalist, or do they specialize in specific body parts?

@ urbanjackal3 - hang in there! I really admire your courage and your backbone 😘

To give you a real-world example, when my mom was dealing with a brain tumor (glioblastoma), the surgeons managed to clear everything out. She was supposed to go straight into radiation and chemo, but because the prognosis looked so grim, she decided to pass on it. She just wanted to live out her remaining time without being tortured by side effects. Four months later, she had an MRI, and nothing showed any sign of a recurrence (there aren't really specific blood markers for brain tumors). But then, just two months after that MRI, the cancer came back, and she finally agreed to the radiation and chemo.
Look, not every cancer behaves the same way. You're dealing with different types and vastly different stages, which is exactly why finding a top-tier oncologist is vital—you need someone who can actually weigh the options and figure out the right strategy.

hiddentiger80 said:thanks 😘. I've heard most of them get sent straight to chemo, and if there aren't any metastases, I don't see much point in that.

It probably depends on the specific type of cancer, but honestly, it’s likely because it’s incredibly difficult to gauge what's happening at a cellular level. Doctors want to be proactive and stay ahead of it to prevent spreading; once things start moving, they often move at lightning speed.
To give you a real-world example, I knew a woman who went in for a routine mammogram through her corporate wellness program, and everything came back perfectly normal—nothing suspicious at all. Fast forward four months, and she felt a painful lump while showering. She was rushed back for another mammogram, and this time, they found a tumor that had already metastasized. Everyone was baffled how nothing showed up just four months prior, especially since there had to have been some kind of process occurring then that simply wasn't visible on the scan yet. She was sent immediately to an oncologist for full workup.
With certain types of carcinoma, the standard protocol is to use radiation and chemotherapy first to shrink the tumor, making surgical removal much more manageable later on.
Everything I just laid out was explained to me by Dr. Gamulin; she is truly a phenomenal woman and never hesitates to provide a thorough explanation.

urbanjackal3 said:My life feels like one endless uphill battle, but that’s just the hand I was dealt. Twice in ten years. First it was Hodchkin, and just recently it’s been connective tissue sarcoma. You don't really "make peace" with it; you just live it. The hardest part isn't even my own pain—it's watching the people I love go through this alongside me.

There is no such thing as making peace, there is only acceptance. You're going to beat this too, because you aren't fighting this alone—you've got your family right there by your side!
We recently lost Zazie, a dear friend of ours here on the forum, to lung cancer. She once shared a story about how her stepmother, while they were waiting for test results, told her not to take everything so personally—that bad news is just one phase of life, and things fluctuate; today is one way, tomorrow is another. At that moment, she said everything finally clicked. She started treating her cancer like a chronic condition you simply learn to manage, and I truly believe she mastered that. She passed away happy (or so it seemed to me and everyone who knew her), because she knew exactly who she was, what she wanted, and what brought her joy. Most importantly, she learned to accept reality without ever actually surrendering; she kept fighting. In the end, she didn't lose; she gained a level of wisdom that most people don't acquire in a hundred years. You're gaining that same insight now, and you'll have plenty of time to pass that wisdom on to others because you're going to be around for a long time.
Hang in there. I truly respect your courage.🙏

hiddentiger80 said:We could seriously use something like this here! While we're on the subject—can any ladies recommend a solid oncologist? DMs are fine. Thanks.

Dr. Gamulin at Mayo Clinic. She’s incredibly thorough.

lonecrane42 said:1. Scrub 'em and dry them well: Wash your feet every single day, especially before bed. If you've actually got the time, soaking them in a foot bath with some tea tree oil helps a ton. Don't just shove socks on right after washing... dry them thoroughly, especially between the toes, and let them air out.

2. Deodorants and antiperspirants: Once they're dry, hit them with an antiperspirant to kill the sweat. There's a massive selection out there now, and honestly, the Schollov ones have been reliable forever.

3. Let them breathe: Ideally, keep your feet dry and exposed to the air. That’s easy enough in the summer, but once winter hits, just make sure you have a mountain of clean cotton socks—doesn't have to be white if you hate them—and swap them out at least once a day.

4. Rotate your shoes: One reason girls rarely deal with stinky feet is because they actually like wearing shoes! They rotate through several pairs so fungus doesn't just move in. After you wear a pair, leave them to "air out" for at least 24 hours while you switch to something else.
The real issue is when people only own one pair... usually sneakers. If you want your feet to actually breathe, go grab at least one pair of leather shoes so they don't sweat as much.

5. Grab some insoles: Any decent shoe store, pharmacy, or DM will have a huge variety of insoles (latex, fresh, faux fur, coconut, whatever). We aren't talking about those orthopedic ones for posture or heating up old folks' feet—these are specifically to stop fungus from growing.

Oh, and don't forget stress can make you sweat like crazy, including your palms. Same hygiene rules apply, but you know, for keeping your mind healthy too...

Man, you nailed this. Send this over to some men's magazine and you might actually save a few relationships and marriages. 😉