Posts by Angela Wright

I don't think blood messes up a urine culture too much... I mean, the whole point is just to detect bacterial growth. I should check with the AMA. As for the blood work, those results don't necessarily have to look bad or signal inflammation for an infection to be there. By the time you actually see signs of inflammation, the infection has already taken hold.

The issue isn't actually about a doctor's expertise; it’s about the lack of backbone in the first guy you talk to. It's rare to find an American physician who is willing to just say, "Look, I don't dare touch this, I don't know, or I simply don't have the equipment, but maybe Dr. Smith over at Mayo Clinic would be better suited." You rarely run into a doctor here who is willing to admit they've hit a wall. Go back to the one who stayed silent after the first surgery—the one who was right there in the room. Sit him down, face-to-face, and massage his ego a bit. Tell him, "We really value your perspective since you saw everything unfold firsthand," and see if he finally opens up.
Go ask Dr. Bauman at Mercy Hospital for a second opinion. If he can't help, at least he'll point you in the right direction.
Good luck!

I got a DM asking why I’d even bring up a urine culture if we aren't actually dealing with a urinary tract infection:
It’s because when you're collecting a urine sample, some vaginal discharge inevitably ends up in the cup. That’s more than enough to isolate bacteria and run an antibiogram. Sure, the bacterial concentrations might not be perfectly precise, but if they’re showing up high in the urine, they’re almost certainly present in the vagina too. My doctors explained it to me as a solid alternative if, for whatever reason, a swab just isn't an option. That’s exactly how they handled things for me during my pregnancy.

Fiza, I think my colleague was actually referring to Dr. Herceg. He works alongside Dr. Šantek and specializes specifically in rare tumors. Honestly, given your father-in-law's situation, Šantek might be the better fit—not just because he's closer, but because he has a much warmer bedside manner. Herceg can come across as pretty cold and standoffish sometimes. While Šantek is the type of doctor who will fight tooth and nail for his patients, Herceg tends to be more purely pragmatic about things. That’s just my two cents, though; both of them are top-tier experts and among the leading oncologists in the entire country.

So, you head over to your primary care doctor to get a referral for a urine culture. You collect your first morning sample—just the midstream flow, mind you—into one of those sterile cups you can grab at any local CVS. Then, you just drop the sample off at the lab with your paperwork, and you’ll have the results back in about five days.

Just call them, explain what’s going on, tell them you're expecting your period, and ask for their advice on how to proceed. Honestly, I don't think getting a urine culture will be an issue at all. Besides, infections aren't always about sex; certain bacteria or viruses can just jump your way regardless of whether you've been intimate or not.

Back when I was doing my internship at the social services office, there was this unwritten rule about swabs. You didn't bother ordering them ahead of time; instead, you just had to show up by 11:00 AM because all the samples had to be turned in to the hygiene lab for analysis by noon. So... if you can, try to head in early. 😉 You can also go through your primary care physician using a referral for a urine culture. If there’s any bacterial activity going on, that test will catch it. During my pregnancy, that’s exactly how they monitored me for beta-hemolytic strep. They didn't want to mess around with internal swabs and just used the urine tests instead.
You might want to pick up the Canesten combo—the cream and the vaginal suppositories. There is honestly no point in just applying cream externally if the fungus has already moved in internally.

Amanda Miller69 said:The oncologist scheduled us for Thursday after 1 PM, along with a referral for an internal medicine oncologist to decide on the chemotherapy plan, so we'll see which way we're heading this Thursday.
My mother-in-law is hoping everything turns out fine, and I just don't have the heart to tell her how things actually look, though I might eventually have to 🙄

Keeping my fingers crossed for you...
And listen, when it comes to mothers-in-law, maybe sticking to that half-truth method again is for the best... just telling her "we're going to see what the next steps are" isn't ideal, but it works.
...I really hope your brother-in-law can come visit again so you don't have to navigate all of this alone.
Man, I'm so sorry, it's just not fair that this is hitting you again... life can be incredibly cruel sometimes. 😢

cosmicjackal4 said:Has anyone here dealt with malignant melanoma? It was discovered in my father this past June/July. He had surgery on his back—they removed everything down to the muscle. By November, there were metastases under his left armpit, so on December 9th, they removed 14 lymph nodes. He seemed to be recovering, the wound was healing, but while we were struggling to get a PET CT scheduled (we're dealing with the medical system in Canada), a new metastatic spot popped up under the left armpit on January 7th. They aren't sure if it's a remnant from the first surgery or something entirely new, but now there are two new ones under the right armpit too. There's a tumor board meeting tomorrow, and he'll likely undergo surgery again this Tuesday or Wednesday. We’re going to get Zelboraf. This marks his third surgery since June 2014. Please, is this moving too fast? Does this mean we should expect organ involvement within a month? Is this even winnable? I can't stop crying; I'm just losing my mind. All I can think about is whether my father will live long enough to see me walk across the stage at my graduation. I can't believe I'm even questioning this; I always just assumed life was natural and predictable—that my parents would see their grandkids and grow old. Now, I'm stuck wondering how much time is actually left. If anyone has experience with melanoma and how quickly it progresses, please reach out....

Unfortunately, you're looking at a very difficult diagnosis where the treatment options are extremely limited. 😢 It's an aggressive form of cancer that has a real appetite for metastasis.
I know people who have managed to hold it off by combining surgeries with oncological treatments through various clinical trials. One well-known journalist I knew lived for 13 years fighting it that way. My fear is that modern medicine still hasn't found a definitive answer for this specific diagnosis, so much of it boils down to trying to squeeze out as much quality time as possible.
How long someone lives with this depends on a massive number of variables and circumstances. The best advice I can offer is to not look further than tomorrow. Face the situation as it unfolds and try to take it one day at a time. Days turn into months, and months turn into years. There's simply no other way to handle it.

Fiza, look, regarding the Xeloda—it’s being used off-label for this diagnosis. You should double-check that. Since they passed him over for oncology treatment the first time for some reason, I’m honestly worried there isn't much room left to maneuver now either... man, life can be brutal 😢 ...hang in there

placidwalker452, hang in there, dear... I’m sending all the strength in the universe your way and wishing you peace of mind. Give your mom a huge hug and just talk to her—let her go. Tell her it’s okay if she wants to leave, that you’ll be fine, that she’ll be fine, and that her loved ones will be waiting for her... It’ll make things so much easier for both of you. ❤

placidwalker452 said:I’ve been sitting on this for a while, but I feel like I just need to vent somewhere and share what we’re going through with all of you.
My mom is in her final stages.
She was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma back in May.
The whole mess started around July or August of 2012; she had various gynecological issues that finally hit a breaking point. After stalling for a month or two, she ended up in the hospital for a routine surgery to remove fibroids that were causing bleeding. That was in September. Of course, what should have been a standard procedure went sideways, and they had to perform a hysterectomy too. At the time, the pathology results pointed toward fibroids—all five of them.
About a year after the surgery, she noticed some strange discharge and started needing pads. She saw a gynecologist who basically brushed her off, acting like there wasn't much left to report.
After five months of endless tests—maybe it was urological, maybe something else, who knows—she finally got an abdominal CT, where the doctor tells her, with total indifference, "the uterus is still in place"!!!!! Naturally, my mom was devastated, and she was rushed back to the gynecology ward as an emergency.
That was February 2014. In the meantime, they discovered another tumor in her lungs. First, they tried removing the abdominal tumor (it was 3 or 4 months prior, I can't remember exactly). After the surgery, everyone was optimistic because the surgical team was top-tier; they believed they had removed the entire mass, that it looked benign, and that once she recovered, they could deal with the lung issue.
Then come the complications: constipation, stays in surgery...
A month later at a follow-up, comes the next gut punch—the damn thing grew back to 6 cm. WTF.
They kept saying the tumors were benign.
Shortly after that, they decided to try removing the lung tumor.
Total disaster.
The CT scan and the actual reality were worlds apart. They just shut her down.
At the end of May, she’s discharged, and in the meantime, the pathology report finally arrives. It’s Leiomyosarcoma. It WAS there back in 2012. Apparently, they are notoriously hard to diagnose. Even when a nurse is a doctor herself, they don't see it until it's too late, and then they don't know how to fight it.
In short, we tried alternative methods too. Unfortunately, nothing works. I'm just watching her fade away.
Modern medicine offers no help for cases like hers.
Over the last month, she hasn't been able to walk, even with help; for the last three weeks, she hasn't spoken; and for the last five days, she hasn't even eaten—just liquids.
The worst part is seeing that clear gaze, knowing she’s conscious.
The hardest part is changing her, bathing her, feeding her... while tears stream from her eyes.
I’m not alone in this; my younger brother has taken on a massive burden, staying with her while I work, and my older brother is here now that the season is over. But man... it is hard.
Sorry for the long rant, but I just needed to get this frustration out somewhere.
To anyone finding themselves in a similar situation: don't give up. There is hope for some. I know people who have recovered. For us, unfortunately, it won't be the case.

I am so incredibly sorry... I know exactly what you're going through... I've been there myself.😢

Honestly, I think your mom was failed by the system, and all these excuses about how hard it is to detect it just don't hold water. I wish you had reached out sooner... maybe someone could have pointed you in the right direction.😢
Hang in there. We have more strength inside us than we realize; that's the only thing I've learned from my own experience.

Carol Price6 said:http://2012-transformacijasvijesti.c...-raka-i-tumora

Does anyone happen to know more about this supplement? I've been Googling and digging around online, and I just stumbled upon this..

Check out some alternative options.
From my own perspective and experience, the actual impact of these kinds of supplements is nowhere near what they claim in their advertisements. Sure, boosting your immune system or getting certain vitamins and minerals—fine. But the idea that they can cure all types of cancer? There's zero chance of that happening. Absolutely none.

Carol Price6 said:Yeah, he’s handling this situation beautifully. He’s being incredibly stubborn. All he wants to do is "get away from the doctors." That’s why I practically had to mobilize half of Washington, D.C. just to snag an appointment within the next two days—because he insisted on being discharged from the hospital against medical advice, and now here we are, finally getting a slot for a PET/CT. Honestly, I might be able to cope better if he’d just face his symptoms instead of constantly dismissing what the doctors say and trying to run the show himself. I finally snapped once we actually secured this appointment so quickly... thanks to everyone reading, sometimes I just need someone to listen to me. 😁 😁

Trust me, his head is in the right place. 😉 These reactions are textbook. It isn't necessarily a bad thing that he's acting like this, always hunting for a "second opinion."
This isn't just some internet wisdom, honey; these are insights from someone who has been a world champion at navigating exactly what you're going through right now. Only difference is, I had to smash my head against a wall before I found my footing, and in the process, I wasted precious time with my mother, whose diagnosis was much more grim from the jump.
Just let everything else go. Focus on the "here and now" and maybe a tiny bit of tomorrow. I'm telling you, once the wheels are finally in motion, you'll all feel a lot better.

Carol Price6 said:I have to admit, I’ve been following all this, and it honestly shocks me that a doctor would just leave the decision up to the patient like that. I mean, who's actually running the show here? A doctor should always be providing a clear breakdown of the pros and cons so patients can make an informed choice.
It's not like we're talking about some harmless antibiotic where you can just pop a pill without thinking twice... 🙄

Angela Wright, could you please find that chart somewhere? I'm really interested because they're mentioning chemo for us soon, and from what I'm reading, it isn't even that effective for lung cancer. I know my dad is going to ask for my input and my opinion, and he's definitely going to think ten times over before deciding if he wants to go through with it.

I've been Googling all morning and I just can't find it. 🙂😠
I'll try again later this evening; I can't get to my computer right now because of the kids.

Carol Price6 said:My dad is heading back to the hospital today... he claims he’s just going "to check in." Honestly, I still can't deal with these demons and this grief on my own. I go to bed in tears and wake up the same way. I only feel okay when I'm not near him; the moment I see him, I just want to break down, and he doesn't help at all with his constant negativity. I don't get how a person can't grasp that they have cancer and that every single day matters. All he cares about is how much longer he has to stay in the hospital because he hates being there—he just wants to be back home... it's exhausting. I feel so helpless and angry, and I can't believe Mom just sits there watching everything happen with total indifference. Today, she wouldn't even let me go to the hospital to tell the doctor that it's her turn to demand the truth and get some real explanations. Instead, Mom just sits and waits, and when he's done, she doesn't even ask anything; she just leaves everything up to a man who lied to us for months just to avoid facing the doctors, even though the truth is staring him right in the face. Is it common to have people like this, or is my father a one-of-a-kind case?

Your father is actually an incredibly positive example! What would you rather have—someone weeping, fussing, and spiraling into despair because they have cancer?!
Do you honestly think he's so dense or ignorant that he doesn't know what's happening? This is just how he processes things; it makes life easier for him, and it makes it easier for your mom. If you ask me, the man is handling this better than most. You're the one struggling the most here. You need to find a way to accept his way of doing things: "Yeah, I have a problem, but I'm not going to let it wreck my life or my peace of mind." He isn't letting the disease dictate his existence; he's trying to dictate terms to the disease. He's the boss. He's handling business.
You need to pull yourself together and stop being a burden to him. For God's sake, you're an adult and a responsible person. I know it's hard—it's hard for everyone—but you cannot allow yourself to become a weight on him instead of a pillar of support. Being supportive doesn't mean forcing someone to act the way you think they should; in fact, it's quite the opposite. He is going to do what he thinks is best, and your job is to stand by him and offer support regardless of his decisions. You can offer advice, but always frame it like this: "It says here in this article that this might happen if we don't do this... wouldn't it maybe be smarter to try this or that, what do you think?" You have to leave him the room to make his own calls, just like you love making your own decisions.
Be his rock and get your head on straight. Go somewhere else to cry, find a therapist, scream into a pillow—do whatever you need to do—but when you stand in front of him, you need to be positive and smiling, even if you have to fake it. That is the least you can do for a father you love so much.
Get a grip and protect your own peace and sanity, because you're going to need it!

Kate Wells44 said:Xeloda IS chemotherapy. A lot of patients deal with side effects from Xeloda, but if they're briefed before starting therapy, most of them can be spotted early and managed symptomatically.

I didn't express myself very clearly—I meant to explain better, but honestly, it’s hard to keep my thoughts straight when kids are constantly running circles around my head: what I meant was that people usually picture chemo as some liquid in a bag hooked up to an IV that just nukes cancer cells and triggers a massive reaction. This specific drug actually slows down growth; it acts cytostatically... that's the distinction I was trying to make, but I failed miserably. 😁
As for side effects, yeah, they exist, just like plenty of people have adverse reactions to Aspirin. But you simply cannot compare those side effects in terms of frequency or intensity to something like a heavy hitter such as Adriamycin.
I'm frustrated because I can't find that statistical table comparing different chemotherapeutics and their side effects organized by incidence rates and reaction severity... I swear I saw it somewhere recently and now I can't track it down anywhere. 🙄

Regarding my indirect experience with Xeloda, not a single person I know (and unfortunately, I know quite a few) who took it had any side effects at all—none whatsoever. If they felt anything, they probably didn't link it to the Xeloda, or it wasn't significant. The last person in my inner circle who was on Xeloda was my late great-aunt; she had a very invasive breast cancer and didn't seek treatment promptly or adequately. She was put on Xeloda, and it definitely gave her maybe another 1.5 precious days of life. She was 83 years old and experienced zero side effects. Later, all the doctors said how lucky it was that she hadn't started Xeloda earlier or used a different radiation dose.

We have the example here of Zachary Howard2's father-in-law—the guy was operated on, everything was cleared out, and he was sent home without therapy, as if it wasn't needed... about six months passed—you probably read what was written and saw what his CT scan showed. 😢 I'm not 100% sure if his indication and diagnosis qualify him for Xeloda, but I know people have received it off-label for things other than breast or colorectal cancer, mostly through private oncologists. (@Zachary Howard2, I found some info from the FDA suggesting it's used off-label for head, neck, and esophageal tumors, so hmmm, maybe it would work in this stage. Just a thought, maybe worth looking into further.)

The truth is, there are no guarantees for anything. But damn if I don't know that something can act on any potentially lingering cells (and there are always some left). Look, I'm the type of person who would do everything in my power to further reduce that "guarantee" of a recurrence, even if it means dealing with some side effects. Hell, an oncologist wouldn't suggest it if they didn't think it was necessary. Honestly, I hate that they leave the choice to you without laying out every single pro and con right in front of you to guide your decision, forcing you to go googling just to figure out what to do. 😠

Emily Hayes said:So, we've hit a bit of a crossroads.

The blood work looks fantastic. The CT scan didn't show anything else, and the consensus is that the surgeons did a flawless job—they got everything out (colon cancer, Dukes B).

Our oncologist gave us two paths: go ahead with chemotherapy (Xeloda), or opt for a "watch and wait" approach where we just come in for checkups every three months without any active treatment. Since her results are so strong, he mentioned it's questionable whether chemo will actually offer much benefit, and the real question is how much damage it might do. We have to make the call ourselves.

Honestly, I’m torn. On one hand, chemo feels like the "safe bet," but then again, it's going to beat her system down, and right now, she feels great. On the other hand, skipping chemo gives her a chance to build up her strength and immunity, potentially preventing a recurrence naturally.

I'm not asking anyone to make the decision for us; I just want to hear what the folks on this forum think.

To be perfectly blunt, if this were anything other than Xeloda, I’d tell you to sleep on it. But since we're talking about Xeloda—and God forbid it's anyone else in my family—I’d say go for it. It’s taken orally and is usually pretty easy to handle. Imagine passing this up only to have things get complicated later and spending the rest of your life wondering "what if"... plus, if she really can't stomach it, she can always stop.
In my view, that’s the smart move. Xeloda isn't your heavy-duty, traditional chemo; it's more of a cytostatic drug that slows down malignant cell division. This gives the immune system enough breathing room to recognize and take them out.
Combine Xeloda with boosting her immunity, and she could live a very long, full life. 😉
Good luck! 🙂

Amanda Miller69 said:The CT results just came back, and honestly, I hate everything I’m reading. My father-in-law went through the report—even if he couldn't make sense of all the medical jargon—but I gathered there are some 24mm masses on the trachea and potentially elsewhere. They mentioned secondary growths on the liver too, but my head is spinning and I've already lost track of the details.
A doctor friend of ours suggested that if he didn't receive chemo for the previous issue, they won't provide it for this one either, and that it's somehow "fine." Personally, I feel like we're being played again, just like last time. He also mentioned fluid in the lungs... where does that even come from?
Oh, and I completely forgot about the enlarged lymph nodes; what's the deal with those?
I need to get my husband home immediately to grab that report so I can forward it to the oncologist, but I am seriously freaking out.

Yeah, look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but what you're describing isn't good. 😢

Pleural effusion: http://www.yourdoctor.com/medicine/about-pleural-effusion

It looks like there are clear targets on the lungs, the lymph nodes, and the liver...
...I honestly don't get why they haven't started him on radiation or at least some Xeloda... damn it all. 🤦

dustyorca14 said:But wait, why wouldn't it be a stroke? Just asking as someone who doesn't know much about this stuff!

Because if it were a stroke, the ER doctors would have caught it instantly. It’s not like they aren't trained to spot that kind of thing.
My take? It’s entirely possible his blood sugar crashed, he grabbed a couple of sips of Coke, things took a turn for the worse, and by the time he rolled into the Emergency Room at Mayo Clinic, that quick hit of glucose had already stabilized his levels enough to mask the hypoglycemia during testing. Basically, I'm leaning toward dehydration mixed with low blood sugar.
....but honestly, I'm just spitballing here. It would be a lot easier to tell if he actually shared his medical records from that visit and what follow-up tests he's had since.