Posts by bluemoose21

I’ve been posting on this women's health forum, and honestly, I don't think I ever really belonged in these lower-tier discussions... I hit a nerve, my ego went into overdrive, and I let things spiral way too far. I feel terrible about it. I'm stepping back from this conversation with my head held low. I want to sincerely apologize to everyone I offended in my previous posts. My bad. Best regards,

So, I’m sensing we have a serious breakdown in communication regarding what actually constitutes an insult here. Honestly, where exactly did you feel offended? I’ll go ahead and call in the authorities to take a look if that helps! The truth is simple: I called out how you treated that girl, and I’m going to keep calling it out. It doesn't matter if your behavior stems from being uninformed, your religious views, your lifestyle, or whatever else is driving you. It doesn't change anything. Your actions are repulsive to me, whether you meant them to be or not. Do you really think I’m going to sit here and comment on behavior like yours with bubbly little emojis and sweet, sugary words wrapped up in a cute Hello Kitty bow? Not a chance. Do I need to make this any clearer, or are we just going to keep running in circles?

I’m with you on this, one hundred percent. Honestly? I’m not proud of how I acted. I’m ashamed of it. If anything, I probably despise my own actions even more than you do. And look, you aren't the only one calling me out. No one has been handing out critiques wrapped in pretty little bows or sugarcoating things with cute emojis and sweet talk. I hear everything you're saying, and I agree with all of it. In fact, I think I deserve much worse. At the end of the day, what would I actually gain by trying to justify myself to anyone else? Just more self-loathing? More contempt for everyone reading this? It isn't worth it.
Look, what really bugs me about your comment is that I think you’ve gone way too far. Honestly? You picked the absolute worst possible time to drop a take like that. Let me explain why.

First off, I have to point out that you’re being totally contradictory again.
Do you think the internet is an unimportant way to communicate? Of course not! Honestly, I’ve built so many genuine friendships here. I've picked up so much useful advice from people I truly care about, shared some amazing times, and more than that. Like you said yourself, my 10,000 posts pretty much speak for themselves, don't they?

So, you basically give me this indirect hint that you should break up with me, and then follow it up with, "It seems like something happened after my last post (though I really hope it didn't), even though it seems unbelievable to me." Are you kidding me? Is that really how we're doing this? You drop a subtle suggestion that we're over, and then immediately pivot to acting surprised about how things might have shifted? It’s such a weird way to phrase things. Why play these games? I mean, seriously, why would some random username on an online forum have that kind of influence? Does anyone actually believe that? "

And just like that, you’ve pulled another total 180. You went from being some random anonymous handle to acting like someone whose opinion actually carries weight. "I've been posting on this thread for four years, so I must know a thing or two," right? Give me a break!

Look, I’m going to explain exactly why your comment stung. If you were talking about her, you'd be telling her to just stop everything in both scenarios. Why would you even say that?

If you honestly think you’re nothing more than some random username on a screen, then why on earth would you treat her any differently? Seriously, what's the logic there? If she’s just a handle to you, why should it hurt your soul to read what she has to say? It’s all just pixels and nicknames, right? So why let it get to you?
The only reason you’re lashing out like this is because you felt attacked. Deep down, you felt targeted because you’ve been stuck in that exact same spot before, haven't you? You aren't even trying to help; you're just using this thread as a way to vent your own anger. Honestly, it feels like you don't even care how much this is going to hurt her. Is that really where we are now?

If you actually care about her—if you truly feel for her and want to help—then I don’t get why you’re dumping even more stress on her by pushing the idea of a breakup. Especially knowing how much she's been struggling emotionally lately. You can't possibly know if it would be better for her to face this alone or to have me by her side, flaws and all. If your goal was genuinely to support her, wouldn't you just stick to critiquing my actions? Those were the actual issue here. Why push it further and force her into an even more impossible situation?
Honestly, I think giving advice like that is just totally out of line during moments like this. Is it really the right time? It feels misplaced.

Look, I’m not even offended by you calling me "shamelessly hypocritical," and honestly, I didn't care when you tried to patronize me by acting like I was some child. Even when you were putting on that all-polished, sophisticated act to lecture me about everything under the sun, I stayed calm. But ADD? That’s a whole different story. It's a different level entirely. And since we're already trading insults, why don't you go ahead and quote the specific insult I actually directed at you in this thread? Go on.

Look, all those labels I used? They were aimed at what you said, not at who you are as a person. Before I even thought about using an epithet, I made sure to quote exactly which statements I was reacting to. It would be pretty ridiculous of me to assume you’re going to act hypocritically or childishly every single time we talk, but when it comes to those specific descriptions I used in response to your points? I stand by them. Completely.

Look, you’re absolutely right. I don't have enough pieces of the puzzle to actually judge someone's entire character or start handing out "advice." How could I? I just don't know enough.

I don't know if you missed this, but I am NOT making any judgment on their entire character here—mostly because I don't have enough to go on—but what's actually happening is pretty obvious to anyone reading this thread.

So, I’ve been thinking about one of your reactions—or maybe it was a whole string of them—after your girlfriend found out your Pap smear results weren't exactly stellar. Honestly? I feel like I have to call you out on how you handled things, mostly because it seems like you were flying totally blind. Were you actually processing what was happening, or were you just reacting to the panic in the room? It felt like a lot of your behavior stemmed from just not knowing the facts. When the news hits, especially regarding something like HPV, it's easy to spiral. But instead of getting the facts straight, it looked like you just reacted blindly. Don't you think it would have been better to take a breath first? Why let confusion turn into a mess of bad decisions? You can't fix a situation if you don't even understand the problem you're facing.

Look, maybe you aren't judging my entire character, but you’re clearly judging a huge part of who I am if you think you can just lump me into a group of "people like me." Based on how this conversation is going, that is definitely not a club I'm looking to join. Is that really how you see me? Because trust me, I don't see myself that way at all.
Look, like I said before, I don’t have any issue with your judgments regarding my specific actions or how I reacted. Honestly? I actually agree with them. But I just can't get behind that indirect advice you dropped in your very first post. That’s really the heart of my entire argument.

Wait, I think you’ve got it completely backwards. You didn't even quote her post—you quoted me! And honestly? Your own words just prove my point. You literally said you "felt the need to at least try to defend yourself against unsolicited advice from a Good Samaritan." So, you *do* feel the need. Got it. Understood.

I was actually quoting you to address that last part of your post—the bit I didn't quite agree with.
You covered everything she mentioned in her previous posts. Because you hit on all those points, I felt like I could indirectly justify myself to her through your writing—knowing full well she’s going to read every single word of it.

Regarding that whole "this isn't the place for excuses" thing—look, when I said "save it for real life," what I actually meant was that you don't owe ME any explanations. Period.

Honestly, looking at the context, it isn't even that obvious that it carries that specific meaning in the translation.

I really put in the work and sat down to read through every single post.

Look, bluemoose21, I have to say it: if you were my boyfriend, I’d dump you on the spot after seeing something like this. You wouldn't even know what hit you. Honestly, you should be ashamed of yourself. This is someone you're supposedly with because you love her, right? And now, in a moment when she’s actually terrified and needs you to have her back, you decide to mock her? You're treating her like she’s some kind of outcast. How can you act like that?
First off, you are completely out of the loop here. Seriously, just hop on Google and search for CIN 1 to see how this actually works. You’re making yourself look pretty ridiculous right now—if you'll excuse my language. A close friend of mine dealt with CIN 2, and it turned out to be caused by a bacteria that's actually a normal part of the vaginal and intestinal flora. But once that balance of good bacteria gets thrown off? That's when these things cluster together and cause all kinds of inflammation and nonsense. Just look up *Gardnerella vaginalis* if you want the facts. And honestly, if my friend had a husband like you, she should have filed for divorce immediately. If he's being that clueless, he's likely being cheated on by someone who's going to pass on God knows what kind of nasty infection to him.

We seriously need to get comprehensive sex education into our schools. It’s honestly heartbreaking to see how many people are just completely in the dark, only to turn around and pass that ignorance on to everyone else. How can we expect anyone to make healthy choices when they're flying blind?

Of course you would leave me—there’s really no question there. You haven't spent months or years by my side, you haven't told me you love me (nor have you heard me say it), and you don't have any memory of my good deeds to weigh against this if you were ever going to consider forgiving me. Plus, how could you even begin to imagine what our relationship would actually look like?
Objectively speaking, it’s impossible for anyone to claim they’d end a relationship in every single imaginable scenario based on one isolated incident while completely ignoring all the other factors that make up a partnership.
I don't want this to sound like I'm making excuses, but she wasn't the only one who was terrified. When she first found out about the CIN1, she didn't know much more than I did. While we were both scouring the internet for answers, she actually told me, "I'll understand if you leave me." Meanwhile, on those sensationalist health websites, you read stuff saying HPV can cause cancer, that certain oral strains are high-risk, that the most dangerous types are the ones that don't even show symptoms like warts, and that it stays in your system for years... It scares the hell out of you! Fear usually comes from a lack of knowledge, right? You start wondering, "Is this really a dealbreaker?" And then the person you care about—someone you think has more life experience and knows better why people break up—tells you it would be justified to walk away. That just throws you for a loop.
On top of all that, dealing with my medical history and recovering from having both mono and Type A flu at the exact same time turned me into a total paranoid hypochondriac. I had a couple of nasty outbursts that day, but I never, ever intended to make her feel sucked dry by the situation. By the very next day, she had my absolute, unwavering support (better than ever before, hopefully 😢 )
As for the teasing? Yeah, I’m guilty. I was judging myself by my own standards. I personally feel better when someone I care about cracks a joke like "drop dead" while I'm lying there sick, rather than hovering over me with pity, telling me how pathetic I am and promising things will get better one day.
It’s just my nature to lean on humor when things get stressful. My intention wasn't to hurt her, but honestly, that doesn't even matter right now. For that specific action, I expect nothing but criticism.
I also think the comparison to a husband isn't fair. I would never leave her because of this; the only breakup I've even considered is the one where she leaves me because I didn't act the way I should have.

I totally agree that sex education needs to be mandatory in schools.

PS: This whole response to you ended up being an excuse, didn't it? Even though I said I wouldn't make excuses. 😢

Sophia Wells72 said:How on earth did you jump to such a bizarre conclusion?
What answers am I dodging? You just keep recycling the same old story, and honestly, you're making this more and more personal by the second.

When I tried to justify my stance, you basically dodged the question by describing yourself as just an "ordinary, imperfect person." It feels like you’re trying to draw a line between your real life and your persona here as "Sophia Wells72."
The whole thing only turned personal for you once you felt insulted. I really hope you realize how hard it is to stay polite when someone keeps telling you that you're being obnoxious.

It’s funny how you keep mentioning "reading comprehension" and throwing ADHD at me as an insult, yet you completely miss the bottom line of what I’m saying: I don't approve of how you're acting—basically mocking a girl when she's at her lowest point—all because you're so ill-informed. The mention of HIV was just a parallel; sure, those two viruses are worlds apart, but that bitter feeling of being "infected" or tainted is exactly the same. Just like my disgust.

I only gave you that one warning about reading comprehension because you clearly missed the point of what I was saying and there wasn't a better way to put it. Sorry if that stung. I see your bottom line, but I have one too. And mine is that I don't think you have nearly enough information to be out here telling people to end their relationships or judging someone's entire character based on a couple of posts. And the irony? You're criticizing me for being uninformed...

Where exactly do you see me forbidding you from doing anything? 😕 Besides, here we are in a brand new thread, so feel free to go explain yourself to everyone else.

Maybe "forbidding" isn't the right word. But you did tell me directly that this forum isn't a place for "making excuses." Which is pretty hilarious coming from someone who just lectured me on user rights. Again, I’ll say it: I was only explaining myself to one person, and I have zero interest in justifying my actions to the masses.

I just don't get why you constantly need to veer off course—and you're always the first one to do it. I started this because I wanted to talk about a guy who, through sheer ignorance, treats his girlfriend like garbage (is that "mocking" or what?), and that’s the whole point: I find it repulsive. Why are we drifting into all this philosophy about what kind of person I am? Right now, the topic is *you*—specifically your lack of info and the fallout from that. I might be blunt or whatever, but that doesn't change the subject of this discussion.

Every single one of my posts is a direct response to yours, and I’m trying to address everything you say. I can't take sole responsibility for the direction this conversation is heading.
You started out by criticizing some random guy, but it turns out I’m actually that guy. I thought your conclusions were totally unjustified, so I decided to step up and defend myself. Honestly, once I dropped my first post, the whole idea of me being just "some uninformed dude" completely fell apart.
If this thread was actually about "how I acted," you wouldn't even have a reason to reply to my post—or at least, you shouldn't be replying to the parts you think don't apply to your topic.

Look, if that's how it is, just say so. Don't jump all over the keyboard claiming there's nothing left for you to look for on this forum. If you're having fun, then stay. 🙂

Yeah, unfortunately, I realized that only after I already wrote that I had no reason to stick around anymore.

Boo! 😢
What a lovely way to communicate. You call this a discussion? You're trying to prove you're actually even worse than what I initially judged from your previous writing. This is just 👎. So, what's the point of this post? Are you even capable of having a real debate and actually sticking to the topic?

I really don't get why you feel the need to judge me. Do you seriously think I'm looking for your approval? My point is simple: I'm going to correct you if you say something that isn't true. And if I'm not always being perfectly polite, it's because you're criticizing me—plus, let's be real, you haven't hesitated to throw insults since your very first post.

Sophia Wells72 said:Just some random, imperfect username on a forum who’s going to comment on this—actually, even go off on you—regardless of whether what you told your girlfriend pleased you or not. As far as I’m concerned, you can live in ignorance, but the second your story hits this thread, yeah, I—Sophia Wells72—just like everyone else, have every right to weigh in because, heaven forbid, this is a forum. Are you seriously still hoping I’ll change my mind about your actions, no matter the reason? NOPE. But reading the rest of your post, it’s pretty obvious you care way too much about it, trying to shift things by telling me "who I am" and saying I'm "presuming too much authority." Well, newsflash: this is the internet, and I have every right to be outraged by your, as you put it, "total mess."

So, does that mean in real life—or using "RL" slang—you don't hold those views? Avoid the question if you want; it won't matter in the end, and I doubt any answer would be justified anyway. I don't have a problem with you commenting; you aren't the only one who has. It's more about *how* you comment. And if you think you have the right to criticize me and my actions, which have now become part of this forum thread, then I guess I have just as much right to criticize the comments from your "random, imperfect username" who is, God forbid, also a part of this forum community.
Oh, wow, you totally misunderstood me. I'm not sitting here hoping you'll change your mind. I wouldn't dare set my goals that high! My goal was simply to warn you that you might be jumping to conclusions way too fast, and to give you a few pieces of information that I believe are actually pretty vital for making an informed decision. Whether you change your mind or not is completely out of my hands. 🙂
That entire section where you claim I'm trying to change your opinion is actually referring to your stance on people being under-informed about HIV. Try reading with comprehension for once. 👍

Are you really justifying yourself to your own girlfriend through the internet, via someone else's posts? Brilliant! 👏 Even if we hadn't mentioned your full name, crucified you on a cross, or leaked your SSN and everything else, you'd still feel this need. Save the justifications for real life.

Some actions carry symbolic weight, even if they slip past even the most cautious eye when viewed superficially (or maliciously). After all these lessons you've given me about freedom of thought and action on forums, are you really going to try to stop me from attempting to explain myself here? 🤣
And considering you have 10,000 posts, I highly doubt you view the internet and forums as some trivial, insignificant way to communicate.

If you're already done and don't feel the need to be here, then what's the point of your username showing up and philosophizing about something totally irrelevant to the topic? 😕

Because I'm a stickler for detail, and honestly, this is kind of entertaining.😁 Don’t go blaming me for going off on a tangent; I’m just building on what you’ve been saying in your own posts.

Oh boy... 👋

Look, I don't have anything to settle with you personally. I simply shared my opinion on how you've been acting, and that should be the end of it. 🙂

Haha, clearly this conversation isn't over if you say that. Just look back at your last few posts—there aren't even that many! Do you actually have ADHD, or is there some other reason why you're seeing things so differently?

Sophia Wells72 said:And that is exactly why I have every right to weigh in on this forum (as you so eloquently put it) and write whatever the hell I want. This kind of "support"—if that’s even what you call it—when your girlfriend is freaking out and feels like she's dying (her words, though maybe she doesn't/does have HPV) is just nauseating. ☕

Beyond that, you don't need to sit here and justify your lifestyle or your beliefs to me. I'm not judging you; I'm just commenting on how you've come across based on what your girlfriend wrote a few posts ago. That is my absolute right, and I think it's pretty clear I'm not going to change my mind no matter what you think of me.

As for being cautious about taking medical info from the internet—I get it. That's exactly why I suggested she go talk to her gynecologist.

Am I being shamelessly hypocritical for honestly saying what I think about people like you? Then I am 100% what you say I am, and frankly, I don't care one bit. There. Take that.

You're being contradictory. You claim you aren't judging me, yet just a few sentences later you've lumped me in with "people like you." It only took a couple of posts for you to decide exactly what kind of person I am. I really hope you don't research other topics this superficially while being so convinced that you're—well, well-informed. 😉

Sorry if I gave you the impression that I was trying to justify myself to you. Actually, I was justifying myself to her by using your post as a stepping stone. My bad. 🙂

Honesty is a great virtue, and you should be proud if you actually have it. But there's a difference between being honest and being responsible for the fallout your words cause. That's child's play. Part of growing up is realizing that our actions have consequences, and learning to phrase our "honest thoughts" carefully before we throw them at people.

I have every right to be angry. It's the same people who refuse to educate themselves. They can spend all day scrolling through social media without a second thought, but suddenly it's a huge chore to visit one or two websites to learn about a disease, how it spreads, or how it's treated. They won't bother asking a professional, yet they'll turn around and judge the sick. This is especially true for young people today in the age of the internet, where vital information is practically at your fingertips.

You're assigning a lot of rights to yourself here. 🙂 Sorry if this sounds blunt, but who are you to tell others how to spend their free time or what they should choose to stay informed about?
In the US, there are only a few hundred people living with HIV, yet there are dozens of diseases affecting way more people that manifest much more aggressively than HIV. By what criteria does HIV deserve more attention than those? And why limit the conversation to just diseases? Why don't people bother to get informed when it comes to making economic, sociological, or even ecological decisions that directly impact them and future generations? See where this is going?
Try looking at things from the perspective of these kids for a second. One of the biggest failures in our school system and society as a whole is just how much we drown people in raw data. We basically shovel information at kids without giving them any actual tools to process it or develop the cognitive skills needed to make sense of it all.

It’s pretty arbitrary to decide which topics matter most and then get all worked up when someone else doesn't see eye to eye with you. Honestly, fighting over stuff like that is just tilting at windmills. Maybe those people should try expanding their horizons a bit?

edit: Whoops, I'm drifting off-topic here. Let's try to stay ON topic, okay? If you want to argue about anything else, let's just take it to the DMs.

PS I finally sorted things out with my girlfriend, so I don't really have a reason to hang out on this forum anymore. If you've got more to say and can't help yourself, just send it through her profile.

PPS My bad to everyone if I distracted from the main discussion.

Sophia Wells72 said:Look, I totally get the initial shock and the disbelief, but... I really don't get why he’s making such a huge deal about looking things up if he’s this shaken by it. (Honestly, there is SO much info out there online these days, and most of it is actually useful). You have to realize and understand that HPV (human papillomavirus) is the most common sexually transmitted "illness" (well, virus). Most sexually active people have it without even knowing, or they had it once and never realized because their immune system just cleared it naturally. What matters right now is supporting each other, not this lack of understanding and refusal to accept reality. We're talking about a virus with over 100 different types, and almost everyone—especially young people—runs into some version of it during their lifetime. Even condoms don't offer 100% protection. It's usually asymptomatic, can linger for a long time, and you can still have a perfectly normal Pap smear or even test negative as a guy (since there isn't an adequate test for men yet).

While I don't think forums are exactly the best place to solve intimate issues, I felt like I needed to step in and defend myself against all this unsolicited advice from people acting like saints.

To clear everything up: I am that clueless guy being talked about here. Your assumption that I'm just refusing to educate myself is totally flawed. If you say "there is SO much info out there online," it’s entirely possible that some of that info is flat-out wrong.
I realize people today act like the internet is omniscient and infallible, but you really have to approach information from quasi-medical sites and forums with a healthy dose of skepticism. I *am* educating myself; I just don't take everything I read at face value.

Take him to her gynecologist if things are unclear, and tell him to read this thread (and that old one too). It might help him realize that HPV doesn't just happen to "other people" or people who are promiscuous.

To be completely honest, forgive me for having to say this (but his ignorant and totally unjustified behavior really pissed me off): I would leave a guy like that. That is honestly one of the grossest things a guy can say to a girl, and I've seen plenty of people panicking about this online. It infuriates me when people act the way they did—and still do—toward someone who is HIV positive, and it's the same thing here. He and whatever he reads are just twisting everything, unnecessarily ramping up the panic for both you and himself, and making a bad situation even harder.

Look, you can show him this post and suggest he actually gets informed. Tell him he NEEDS to go talk to a gynecologist or a urologist, because this whole business with the hand-washing and the chocolate is just 👎 👎 👎.
.

Ignorance and irrational behavior often go hand in hand. I'll admit it, I've had my own outbursts that I can't justify—it's easy for a guy to lash out sometimes—but it’s not always that simple. This chocolate thing was disgusting, no matter how you look at it. But we should mention that her hands had been in contact with mucous membranes right before that, and honestly, the whole thing was just a half-baked idea. I have a pretty stupid sense of humor sometimes; my intention was to provoke the exact opposite reaction, and I am sincerely sorry it turned out this way.

I’m genuinely trying my hardest to be there for her. I realize she's going through way more than I am, so every single time we talk about this, I make sure to tell her I'm not angry and that she has absolutely no reason to feel guilty.

When we first started dating, she laid everything out on the table. Look, I have my own set of values and a specific idea of how life should be lived, but those are *my* rules. I don't force them on anyone else, and I certainly don't judge people by them. Even though our lifestyles are worlds apart, I fell for her exactly as she is. How could I possibly be mad at her?

The truth is, my outbursts come from a place of bitterness. I live by certain principles. For instance, I stayed away from casual hookups because, honestly, the temporary release just wasn't worth the potential fallout. I was convinced that by playing it safe, I'd avoid contracting STIs—so now, seeing all of this happen, it feels like all that caution was for nothing. Long story short: some illusions I held onto have been shattered. I'm trying to process that, but I'm not doing it alone. And every time I fail to check my own selfishness, she's the one who pays the price.

And honestly? I have to call you out: you are being incredibly hypocritical. You're criticizing me for reacting poorly when my actions are driven by a lack of information, yet you're turning around and giving my girlfriend the most extreme advice possible regarding our relationship—all while being nowhere near informed enough to give any advice at all.

As for that anger you're feeling toward people who act poorly toward those living with HIV, maybe take a second to question if that's even justified. It seems like you love to judge, but is it really fair to be furious at people who simply don't have the facts? They aren't choosing to hold views you find immoral; they just don't have the same information you do.