Posts by nimbletinker10

fadedbear92 said:bipolar disorder

The shifts in bipolar disorder aren't usually that sudden; individual phases typically last for days at a time.😉

@urbanskipper4, you're right to be angry. A guy like that isn't going to provide any kind of support for you.👎

If you're looking to haul gear on a Biker without using a basket (since they don't fit my specific ride), check this out:

http://www.ortlieb.co.uk/product_inf...-city-pair2009

Honestly, this bag is built so tough it’ll probably outlive me.

Noah Harris50 said:Solid post, nimbletinker10. I’ve been dealing with chronic stress for a while now, so I’ve done my fair share of reading up on it. Honestly, people don't really get what "chronic stress" actually means. Most folks just confuse being busy with being stressed out. Like, being a single mom doesn't automatically mean you're under more pressure than some single girl living her best life. It isn't about how many chores or problems you have on your plate; it’s about your own threshold for handling it all, which varies for everyone.

You hit the nail on the head with those observations and tips. Really motivating stuff—thanks.

I agree. Maybe I made it sound like I was trying to defend someone who's stressed, as if they had to prove they were "officially" stressed enough. No. His own reaction is what matters, because that's precisely what he's struggling with internally.
For instance, there are people who grind away 70 hours a week for years and they're perfectly fine, whereas I certainly wasn't.
I’ve read a million books on this topic—to the point where I ended up dedicating so much time to it that I now lead burnout workshops myself. I work extensively with psychologists, and at the end of the day, the only thing that seems truly vital is guarding your own boundaries.
For the longest time, I thought I didn't have any. 🙄
But admitting that you *do* have them, knowing exactly where they lie, and refusing to compare yourself to anyone else is a massive step forward.
If my friend can juggle five hobbies and a full-time job, that’s awesome for her, but I don't need to do the same.
It's also about being highly sensitive to symptoms—noticing what our bodies are signaling before everything spirals out of control. It works like a downward spiral: when you're at the top, you still have room to react, but the deeper you sink, the tighter that spiral gets and the less room you have to maneuver.

Aside from that, I personally struggle immensely with the winter months.
I went through a major heartbreak right in the middle of winter once, and it hit me like a heavy black cloud.
During those times, I reach for my "first aid kit"—a literal box I put together during better times filled with things that soothe me: my favorite chocolate, a gift card for a quick getaway, little luxuries... every morning, I pick one small thing out of there just to lift my spirits.
I still keep all that stuff; I’d love to exchange more experiences and hear more thoughts on this topic.
Regarding working with a psychologist and gaining perspective, this is how I see it: they help us organize our daily lives so we can actually enjoy them. They teach us how to delegate, how to simply skip certain tasks because they aren't important, and how to intentionally schedule time for ourselves every single day.
Unfortunately, in the American education system, we are taught a vast array of incredible things, but absolutely nothing 😢 regarding how to treat ourselves in a healthy way.

Noah Harris50 said:Anyone else here dealing with chronic stress? How does it hit you and how are you handling it? Any luck finding treatments that actually work?

Personally, I don't deal with "chronic" stress because I’m convinced it would drag me straight down into depression, lethargy, or some physical ailment. Instead, I just hit these intense phases of extreme stress—like working 70-hour weeks in a cutthroat corporate environment, going through a divorce, moving houses, nearly losing my mother, or dealing with debt when everything hits at once. It feels like barely keeping my head above water.

For me, the rule is simple: a healthy mind equals a healthy body. It isn't the other way around; it really is exactly like that. So, my first step is always mental work. A psychologist. Talking things out. Correcting destructive patterns and reminding myself what actual self-care looks like.
Doing something good for yourself—and I mean without spending a fortune, because we all know money doesn't necessarily buy wellness.😁

And once I get my headspace in order, everyone around me can be sick and miserable all winter long, but I’ll be fine—healthy and energetic.
Saunas help, as does surrounding myself with good people, focusing on personal growth, reading, cutting back on screen time, and realistically planning my daily tasks. Plus, my pets always bring me back down to earth; even when I'm feeling 250% stressed, looking at them living purely in the moment is enough to ground me. 🙏Just watching how they exist right here and now is plenty.

If I were to give one piece of advice, it would be to live in the "now." It sounds incredibly simple, but in practice, it is an extremely difficult thing to actually achieve.

The real question is what kind of stress you're facing. If it's massive, or if it's just those small, everyday stressors that weigh heavily on you, I’d highly recommend finding a solid therapist. They help put everything into perspective.
I know a single mother of two who is realistically much more stressed than I am, but she has successfully adopted healthy coping mechanisms.
Or someone battling a serious chronic illness like diabetes—they are factually under much more pressure than I am, yet they know how to handle it better.

Aside from that, I have unfortunately neglected my workouts and getting fresh air over the last few weeks in favor of socializing, partying, and whatnot, and I'm already starting to feel the signals. If I keep ignoring them for another week or two, I'm heading for a crisis.

What's the actual purpose behind taking Loquacious?

Honestly, I’d be much more concerned about the actual nutritional quality of your very first meal of the day.
I'm talking about someone grabbing at least three pastries before noon, followed by four salami sandwiches, and then just constant snacking on candy bars and cookies all afternoon. Being overweight isn't the only way to measure whether someone is actually healthy.😉

Thanks.👍 Do you happen to know the actual difference between the supermoderators (the ones with red badges) and these black-badge moderators? I'm wondering if those first guys actually have access to more tools or settings.

Where on earth did all those purple users come from? I’m looking at the list of people currently online right now, and all I see is smart bich, who was actually a different color—red. Is there some kind of specific ranking or list for this? Thanks.

Thanks. Alright, one last question from me—I honestly don't even know who the admin is. Would that be Desiree?🤷

Nancy Watson82 said:I just got a reply to my DM. Turns out, he basically told me that those moderator posts aren't being deleted because he doesn't see any reason to wipe them. His logic? If you’ve got a grievance, take it up with him directly. Honestly, what a joke. It’s one of those ridiculous situations where you’re just left staring at the screen thinking, "Are you kidding me?" But hey, that's just how it goes sometimes.

Good grief.🙄

His own chat hasn't even offered a single comment.

And now, honestly, I might get banned for recounting what was said in a private message—I don't know.🤷
There’s really no point in getting worked up when you know damn well nothing is actually going to change. It’s just a bunch of yes-men talking in circles in the chat. 🤣

What do you say we get this thread moving? 😁

They shouldn't be handing out bans for that. It’s a total double standard. Another moderator actually posted a private message right here on the board, and they didn't face any consequences whatsoever.

hollowtrucker77, since you’re already hanging out here chatting with the rest of us... 😉Alright, let’s walk through the protocol here. How is this even supposed to work? When a moderator is constantly spamming the chat—I’m talking frequent, non-stop interruptions—and then turns around and bans you for doing the exact same thing, isn't that a little bit ridiculous? It feels like a joke. Is it even worth reporting their oversight to them directly? I mean, if they're the ones breaking the rules, why would they care about a complaint? I want to know what the official procedure is for escalating this. Who else can I report this to that actually follows the established guidelines? I’d really like to resolve this without having to start a massive, repetitive thread every single time this happens. Thanks.

Look, I’ve been around this forum long enough to know exactly how things work here. I know the difference between staying on topic and drifting into off-topic nonsense, and frankly, I've been waiting far too long for a response regarding the swabs discussion. 🙂

Is this sufficiently explained now?

Since the original thread was locked, I’ll address this here—and the answer is a resounding no. It’s only "funny" when the moderator is part of the chat themselves. 😕 Or, you know, when you drop a sharp critique that would earn someone else a ban. I don't even post on closed threads often, and when I do, I stay strictly on topic; I’m not hanging out in some little clique of chatters.
That is precisely why I asked: by what standard is one person's casual chatter considered "contributing to the topic," while someone else posting the exact same thing is labeled as "trolling"?
The question was brief and direct. Unfortunately, once again, an actual answer has been withheld.

Zachary Fox2 As specified by:
It’s not even the same thing. We aren't exactly hanging out in the same circles anymore. And honestly, how do you people expect us to just spin up a brand-new thread? How am I supposed to carry on a conversation over there, playing by someone else's rules and measuring adultery by their arbitrary standards?
Honestly, cheated spouses, mistresses, and adulteresses don't have a single clue what they're talking about when they bring up the concept of "infidelity." They’re completely lost. Instead of these endless, aimless debates, what they actually need is a concrete formula—a set of rules on how to actually communicate with one another.
No, I honestly don't get this move at all.

I feel exactly the same way. It’s like my entire crew decided to pack up and move into a brand-new bar. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a fresh spot with a new vibe, but at the end of the day, a bar is a bar.🙂

John Hill As specified by:
All three of these threads are clearly designated as chat topics. Now, I’m not trying to be condescending here, but if you can't recognize that, perhaps you need to brush up on the basic definition of what a "chat" actually is.

I honestly have no clue what the actual definition of "chat" is here, because I can't tell what distinguishes it from any other topic on this board. I actually reached out to the moderator recently to ask for a clear definition of the chat section, and apparently, someone else even started an entire thread specifically to ask that exact question, yet there hasn't been a single response.

It all started with the discussion on infidelity. Naturally, the adulteresses started throwing a fit, claiming they were being unfairly targeted, so they went ahead and demanded their own dedicated thread.

That simply isn't accurate.
Since I was one of the people who actually spearheaded this new thread, I remember exactly how the conversation unfolded.🙂
Let me refresh your memory here: initially, we had the Mistress threads, followed by the Betrayed. The Adulteresses didn't want to post in those specific discussions because the core issues are fundamentally different—something anyone who has actually navigated various triangles will realize pretty quickly. It wasn't about being aggressive; it was simply a matter of principle. I have no intention of walking into a vegetarian discussion and trying to sell everyone on juicy, fatty steaks.

Well, they finally split up. A few of them decided to start a whole new thread because they were doing nothing but whining and complaining incessantly on the old one.

😕 I must have missed this entirely—when exactly did this happen, and where was it taking place?

But let’s not forget—there was even a threat of legal action involved in all of this.

Alright, I remember this one clearly.🤣

You people seem to think you can just lump infidelity, adultery, and being a mistress all into one messy pile, while treating something like earlobe surgery or liposuction as if they're completely separate issues—like two totally unrelated problems in a marriage. And you're bringing this up on ZUD, because apparently, that’s somehow much more important?

👍

Sophia Gonzalez59 said:A petition for all us forgotten souls to make a comeback.
(two more entries—I've got two places I call home)

And me.😁 I'm on board with that too.

Jose White18 said:If the ZUD PDF really relies solely on just three threads like you're claiming, then honestly, the whole ZUD might as well collapse along with them. It wouldn't be worth saving. Personally, I don't think it's that dependent, and I doubt it'll actually happen like that. 🙂

No one has had a single post deleted because of this move.
Nobody.
Not one.

It is true that these threads tend to devolve into nothing more than mindless rambling, BUT if you actually take the time to look at them, all three of these sections contain posts that are absolute classics when it comes to the subject of Life for Two.🙂

I have to say, I find Michelle Alvarez8 quite attractive.😍

I’d really love to get a clear definition of what "chatting" actually means in the context of this thread.
For months now, I’ve been getting my posts wiped constantly under the guise of "chatting." I haven't insulted anyone—and even the moderator agrees on that point—I’m simply adding my two cents to an ongoing discussion about mother-in-laws, yet my posts vanish in a heartbeat. To make matters worse, if I dare to ask why they were removed (since there’s zero justification), I end up getting a strike. That happened to me just the other day.
Hey, Stemajzl, why don't you give us a concrete definition of "chatting" for this topic? And once you're done, maybe you can go ahead and wipe out your own chatting in there too. 🙂
The truth is, there are several other people here who are just as confused as I am as to why their contributions are being deleted so frequently (and you know exactly who they are), especially since they aren't picking fights with anyone.

Jonathan Ruiz10 said:Here is what really gets under my skin:

- When someone constantly vents about how "exhausting" their life is—as if they’re carrying the weight of the world—while completely failing to realize that the person they're complaining to is actually dealing with five times the struggle. It’s just exhausting, honestly.
- When people simply refuse to listen.
- When I run into someone who is deeply insecure about things like not having a college degree, and they decide to take it out on me by throwing passive-aggressive jabs, calling me "Professor" or some other mockingly intellectual title...
- When someone is incredibly protective of their own belongings but has zero respect for anyone else's; you know the type—where their kids might come over and toss an apartment upside down, and the parents just sit there in silence, even though they’d never dream of letting that happen at their own house.
- When people are just plain stingy.
- When others judge me for investing in quality—like if I buy a high-end wool coat that I know I'll wear for years—and they immediately label me a snob or assume I'm just throwing money around recklessly.
- When someone shows up at my door without so much as a courtesy text.
- When a guest comes over and feels entitled to start snooping through my emails or, heaven forbid, hovering over my computer.
- When people are just crude and can't help but make constant, inappropriate remarks about my private life with my partner.
- When someone clearly has a grievance but lacks the backbone to say it to my face, opting instead to hide behind petty little insinuations.

There’s plenty more where that came from, unfortunately! People have certainly lost their sense of boundaries lately.😢😲😠

Add all of that to the list of things I can't stand, along with people who refuse to work but somehow think they're the smartest people in the room. Let's be real—you're just lazy, and I have zero interest in working with you.
- When they lie.
- When they are late every single damn time.
- When they're high-strung and get irritated just because everyone else isn't as wound up as they are.

Thanks!

I was scrolling through my health insurance provider's website earlier, and I realized something incredibly frustrating. Apparently, three weeks ago, they issued a regional health alert for my entire area, yet I haven't seen a single mention of it anywhere else—no news reports, no local alerts, nothing. 🤷
There’s this map on their portal where about 10% of the country is shaded bright red. It’s just a small slice of the map, but if you guess which part covers my city, you'll be right. 😢

frozenorca63, I’m not even from the States—I’m actually much further away than that, way out across the ocean—but thank you. 🙂

Thanks to everyone who reached out; you all are truly wonderful. 🙂 I started my first round of antibiotics this afternoon and picked up some yogurt on the way. I did read somewhere that you shouldn't take dairy products at the exact same time as your medication, but rather wait a little bit. Basically, don't wash the pills down with a glass of milk. My leg is still swollen (it's been two weeks!) and the bite site itself is bruised, painful, and red; honestly, I'm mostly just focused on staying hydrated.

I haven't heard much about any natural supplements for liver support—does anyone have any recommendations? I know I need to stay away from alcohol because of these test results, but I used to always have a glass of wine whenever I went out for dinner.
Thanks for the link; I'll give it a read tonight. 👍

There is absolutely no way he was on me for ten hours. We headed out on our trip early in the morning, and I didn't even shower until late this evening.
I'm not sure if the diseases they carry are tied to specific climates, but in my neck of the woods, they spread Lyme disease. I know someone personally who was absolutely devastated by it. They’re currently undergoing physical therapy just trying to learn how to walk again.

What exactly do you mean by "punched"? Are we talking about a shot in the back or something else?

Can't an infection be identified through a standard blood test?