Rate these drafts!!!
in Music ·
Please, it’s definitely not rap—that stuff is garbage. Honestly, I already have about 25 polished tracks under my belt, so I might as well give this one a shot, even if it is a bit of a headache.
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Rate these drafts!!!
in Music ·
Hey everyone
Since I notice there are plenty of musicians in this group, I was wondering what your thoughts are on these lyrics I penned a few days ago?
Jack the Ripper
Break through the fence, the dog is breaking free
The Police don't have a clue, though they'll never admit it to me
Arkham Asylum
Isn't so safe out there alone on the hill
Detective Crow asks everyone about what they've seen
"Have you seen the trouble? Is Jack the Ripper around?"
Three blocks later, the getaway begins to unfold
Three ladies flee into the darkness, escaping the cold
A long coat and a mystery hidden under a hat
Two sliced throats, while one escapes the trap
The taxi driver watched him heading this way
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
Jack the Ripper, prophet of insane
Now Detective Crow is clutching his head in pain
His old boss tells him, "You won't crack this case, it's in vain"
He grabs his gun in a sudden burst of rage
Only to see the taxi driver framed on the stage
While Jack drinks his milk in the local shop
A cop watches on, praying his life doesn't stop
It’s harvest season, and it serves him well enough
Lately, he's been tossing bodies down the well, acting tough
Just like his mentor, Captain Roussou, who stays in prayer
Jack is eyeing the lady, caught in his snare
To lead her to the final dance, making a bride of her soul
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
Jack the Ripper, prophet of insane
In an old attic on the outskirts of town
At Rosemary's Place, the barber's chair is found
She cries like a child and speaks through the grit
Jacky Boy knows he must take her last moment, bit by bit
No matter how much it hurts
Anyway, I'm 16.
Since I notice there are plenty of musicians in this group, I was wondering what your thoughts are on these lyrics I penned a few days ago?
Jack the Ripper
Break through the fence, the dog is breaking free
The Police don't have a clue, though they'll never admit it to me
Arkham Asylum
Isn't so safe out there alone on the hill
Detective Crow asks everyone about what they've seen
"Have you seen the trouble? Is Jack the Ripper around?"
Three blocks later, the getaway begins to unfold
Three ladies flee into the darkness, escaping the cold
A long coat and a mystery hidden under a hat
Two sliced throats, while one escapes the trap
The taxi driver watched him heading this way
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
Jack the Ripper, prophet of insane
Now Detective Crow is clutching his head in pain
His old boss tells him, "You won't crack this case, it's in vain"
He grabs his gun in a sudden burst of rage
Only to see the taxi driver framed on the stage
While Jack drinks his milk in the local shop
A cop watches on, praying his life doesn't stop
It’s harvest season, and it serves him well enough
Lately, he's been tossing bodies down the well, acting tough
Just like his mentor, Captain Roussou, who stays in prayer
Jack is eyeing the lady, caught in his snare
To lead her to the final dance, making a bride of her soul
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
He is the one, he is Jack, that's his name
Jack the Ripper, prophet of insane
In an old attic on the outskirts of town
At Rosemary's Place, the barber's chair is found
She cries like a child and speaks through the grit
Jacky Boy knows he must take her last moment, bit by bit
No matter how much it hurts
Anyway, I'm 16.