Posts by Sam Jones8

amberviper70 said:That really depends on who we're talking about.
If you’ve been chatting with another woman on here and the vibe is genuinely good—like, we’ve actually hit it off—then why wouldn't you just go for a Hug Day? No reason not to.
If the forum user is...
Huh, I don't know...
It feels a little silly to me—shaking hands with people I already have a decent relationship with.
It feels like we just walked into a corporate board meeting. 🤷.

I’d just play it by ear—no need to overthink things or prep everything in advance.
I guess you can see the hype for what it is—and exactly where a person stands in relation to it.

Yeah, true enough.
It's done. 😍.

Exactly! It’s just one of those moments, nothing more.🙂

Look, I don't go around hugging strangers, casual acquaintances, or my classmates at NYU (okay, fine, maybe a couple of times😁), but friends, family, and the people close to me? Yeah, absolutely.

But today, I seriously needed a group hug. 🙂
Just hug each other, people. Show some love and actually enjoy being alive... 🙂

Those colder, more reserved types—the ones who carry this aura of distance and authority—aren't just going to go around hugging everyone they see. 😁
Then you’ve got the free spirits, the "go with the flow" crowd who are always upbeat and relaxed; they’re way more likely to get physical. Not always, obviously, but certainly easier than the first group. 🎉
Look, this is a massive generalization, and most people fall somewhere in the middle, but I think you get what I'm getting at. Personally, I’m cool with both vibes.

Ashley Vaughn79, regarding that second part of your post, I actually assumed the same thing about Byron. You know those people the Americans call "touchy-feely"? They’d definitely fall into that second category. And no, that's not you. Just to be clear, I don't mean that in a bad way. Honestly, I find it really beautiful to see people who have a small, hand-picked circle of people they share deep, unbreakable bonds with. 😍

Cute. 😁

So, let’s say you finally meet up in person with someone from an online forum—someone you actually care about a lot. Can you even imagine just jumping in for a hug the second you see them? Like, what if the vibes just click instantly and—bam—you’re hugging? 😁
But realistically, isn't that person still basically a stranger to you at that exact moment?

Personally, I can totally picture it happening. 🤷

Though, knowing me, I’d probably just stick to a handshake.

Yeah, obviously. Some people just crave physical contact more than others, and you’re clearly not one of them. I'm not saying you don't care about being close to your inner circle, though.

But honestly, that's missing the forest for the trees here. It sounds like you're putting a hug on the exact same level as sex, which is wild. To you, it's just another tier of intimacy.
To me? That's just weird. But hey, whatever.

Nicholas King said:But what’s actually the upside to hugging complete strangers?

Honestly, those "free hugs" signs should just be banned altogether. Or, if we’re going to be completely consistent about it—and I mean really consistent—we might as well just permit and encourage people to offer free sex in the middle of city squares and public streets.

I mean, sure, it could be funny, super uncomfortable, and awkward all at once, but it can also create this sense of closeness and good vibes. It’s obvious you’re just not a touchy-feely kind of person, but not everyone is like that.
Look, I’m not exactly a huge fan of this whole "free hugs" thing either, but seriously, are you really putting a hug on the same level as sex?

Maybe we aren’t even that liberal, maybe we’re just freakishly tolerant, which lets us hang out with pretty much anyone, regardless of their side. 🤔

What's the deal? 😬

Damn, I’ve actually gone down that rabbit hole a few times myself 🤣

Because if I ever actually decided to go through with something like that, you wouldn't catch me posting about it on some random internet forum.

It’s a mess, honestly; compared to the people I hang out with in real life, I’m pretty liberal, but then I hop on here and suddenly I’m leaning way more toward the conservative side... kind of like Malcolm in the Middle. 🙄

Btw, we really need to move this whole conversation over to a chat room. 😳

Joshua Perez6 🤣

But look, I get it. If I show up here peddling some crappy survey results or trying to lecture people on stuff I don't even do myself—like talking about anal sex—I know exactly what's gonna happen. No matter how polite I try to be about it, I'm just asking for a fight from the die-hard enthusiasts who live and breathe this topic.
That's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Drew Ross2 said:She’d probably be surprised 😁 given how the swinging scene usually works—it seems like people there are mostly just trying to salvage something that’s already broken. They spend all this time defending themselves, acting as if they haven't truly experienced real love until they've shared their partner with someone else. 😳

But hey, we all know who’s really under Mod’s thumb. 😳

Not that I care, just saying.

Joshua Perez6 said:Ugh...wrong thread, but bottom line? I'm with you.
I don't see real, true happiness in that...not the deep, soul-level kind, anyway.

Look, seriously 🤣

Lost my train of thought—which thread are we even in again? 🕺

Drew Ross2 said:That isn't an unpopular opinion; it's a cliché.😳 The unpopular one would be the opposite.😳

Honestly, I think saying that on LJS would actually be considered the unpopular move. 😬

Nicholas King said:The whole comparison between hugging and sex really falls apart right at that specific "parallel."

See, you hug your own people—your inner circle—and then, if you feel like it, you might extend that to others. But you aren't just out there hugging strangers if you don't have that foundation with your own kind first.

Fine, whatever.

My only question was whether practicing both actually devalues one or the other? Because it honestly sounded like you were implying that, and I’m just not buying it. I drew a parallel to sex because, let's be real, sex is way more intimate than a hug, yet people go around having sex with people they aren't even close to. But those exact same people? They can't exactly go around hugging every single person they run into.

That whole idea of equivalence doesn't mean anything to me here.

I get it. But does getting a divorce really mean there was never any love there to begin with? 😁

Maybe I'm just tripping.
Here's my unpopular opinion: monogamous people who decide to open up their marriages—thinking it'll somehow strengthen their bond or take things to a whole new level 🙄—are actually just desperately trying to patch up something that's already falling apart...

Fine, but you still haven't actually explained the first part.

Nicholas King said:Parallel means—well, exactly that, parallel. Not necessarily perfectly simultaneous 😬.

It's more like... you're having a meaningful relationship with Mary because you love her, but then occasionally you slip up and have something casual—you know, maybe you were drunk, it didn't mean anything, and your heart was still with Mary the whole time...

No, no, no. Look, you claimed that people who hug everyone don't actually hug anyone. Sure, you were exaggerating, but that line of yours kind of implies that if we hug people who aren't super close to us, it somehow cheapens those other 😍 hugs. Right?
So you only hug people who are incredibly close to you, your inner circle, your "people." I’m not even going to ask you—because that would be rude (and honestly not even that relevant to this debate)—if you’ve ever slept with someone who wasn't your person, because, hey, maybe you just weren't feeling it...? 😬
Let's just leave that as a rhetorical question.

Some people only hug their inner circle, some hug people they know slightly better, and some will even give a stranger a hug...
Some people can only sleep with people who are strictly their own, while for others, that isn't even a requirement... Or, they might do both (over the course of their lives, obviously without overlapping).

Anyway, what do you think about this parallel way of doing things? And I'm not just talking about cheating (that would be too easy), but say, something consensual. A couple that's been monogamous for a long time decides they can sleep around, as long as they come home to each other at the end of the day... They feel like they still love each other, maybe even more, because their bond and partnership are actually stronger since they grant each other that freedom.
Supposedly, marriages like Belluca and Cassel, or Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith...

Parallel.

E: I don't really get what you mean by "parallel" in this context—like, in terms of a lifespan? It’s definitely not happening at the exact same time.

Though, I guess there might be cases where it works.

Take those movie tropes, for example, where some guy cheats and tries to play it cool by saying, "She meant nothing to me." 😁
But then, if his girl actually walks away, he ends up totally devastated. I don't know...

That sounds about right coming from you.

Look, everyone’s wired differently. I don’t mind hugging people I care about or even just folks who are cool, even if they aren't my inner circle, you know? It’s not like I’m being fake. Sometimes a moment just hits, people feel like it’s time for a hug, and it just happens. Does that mean I’m taking anything away from my closest friends? Or does it somehow cheapen the deep stuff? Not even close.

It’s like the whole thing with casual hookups versus actual intimacy—some people are totally fine with both. Like I said, they don't see one as making the other any less meaningful, right? They don't think a fling somehow ruins the real deal.
But then you’ve got the people who look at it from the exact opposite perspective.

Maybe you're the one who needs to get their act together first. Then, and only then, might you actually see what you're looking for...

Anyway, happy international hug day. 🙂