Posts by brightgardener8

quietpilot87 said:We’ve hit that stage now. Even after seeing some incredible results on her lung scans—like, the cancer was basically gone—and having a solid response to the follow-up radiation on her head, my mom still decided it was time to go.
The doctors are saying it’s better if it happens at home.

quietpilot87, did things really take such a sudden turn for the worse? 😢

Melissa Kim45 said:My mom fought such a long, hard battle. She was a winner in her own way, and a massive one at that.

She passed away this morning.

I am so incredibly sorry, Melissa Kim45.
You and your mom have become absolute legends on this forum because you always found a way to take even the most brutal life situations and spin them with enough wit and heart to actually lift our spirits. Thank you for that.
If she had stayed around longer, honestly, it probably would have just been more of the same suffering. It’s a tough reality.
Wishing you nothing but peace right now...
🙂

Alright, spread the word about this investigation.

Angela Wright said:Please, if there's any way you could put me in touch with that girl. My mom passed away from a brain tumor, and through everything we went through, I met so many other people who are still fighting that same diagnosis.

Honestly, getting to talk to someone who actually beat a brain tumor would be huge.

Speaking of which, John Doe hasn't checked in for quite a while. 😕
Wondering how his wife is doing.

dustyranger11 said:My dad passed away today. At least his suffering is finally over.
Thanks to everyone here who’s helped me out through this forum.
I still have a bit of Ensure and some Prosure left, so if anyone needs them, just let me know.
Now I’m just staring down this massive void and those heavy, empty days without him.

So sorry for your loss, Chelsea.

Melissa Kim45 said:Hey there, old-timers and newcomers alike (man, there are a ton of you) 😢warriors!

My mom is completely immobile now. She’s mostly quiet, though she does try to ask for food occasionally, which is honestly a win. Since she’s been stuck in bed, there was a period where she just refused to eat anything, and we were basically begging for any drop of water we could get into her mouth. Naturally, that took a massive toll on her overall health, and now she's dealing with pressure sores.

But when was this supposed to happen?! 😱 Are you guys using one of those specialized anti-bedsore mattresses?

I’ve actually been thinking about how to give my mom a haircut lately... 🙄 Back when she was living at home, I used to do it myself with clippers, but since she moved into the care facility, we haven't been able to cut her hair in months.
As for that hair coloring stuff—do you really think it's necessary? 🤷
You have to rinse all those chemicals out of the hair thoroughly, and we all know how difficult that becomes when someone can't move.

It’s a good sign that Mom is willing to eat. 👍 Man, I would give anything if mine hadn't completely stopped...

Hey everyone 🙂

...

Hi there!

It’s honestly pretty tough to call out one specific supplement as the "best" right now. People on here have been talking about just about everything: aloe vera, noni, native propolis, beta 1.3 glucan... you name it. You should probably take some time to scroll through these pages; you'll likely stumble upon something that actually works for you. Also, feel free to check out the association's forum over at www.zanovidan.hr.

Good luck!

Melissa Kim45, you doing okay? How’s your mom holding up?

Things are pretty rough on our end, as usual.
We’re constantly fighting with this nursing home; their service is absolutely pathetic considering how much they charge us.
It feels like we're just tilting at windmills here, wondering if Mom even deserves this after everything she’s been through with her illness and all the bullshit...

Kimberly Green23 said:Sadly, my stepfather lost his battle today.

I am so sorry. My deepest condolences. 😢

Kimberly Green23, I just wanted to jump in and say that your stepfather absolutely has a right to those diapers. You guys shouldn't just give up and end up paying for them out of pocket—maybe grab a small pack just to hold you over until the ones from Medicare arrive.
Just to give you a little pep talk, we never had any trouble getting the diapers approved (though we definitely struggled with about a hundred other things...).
Once we got the neurologist's report, we took it straight to our primary care doctor, who then submitted all the paperwork to the board. Back then, they handled everything, but nowadays you might have to lug the files to the commission yourself. In our case, I think everything was settled in about two weeks.

Kimberly Green23 said:... In his discharge papers, they actually recommended diapers and home health nursing. But here’s where we hit a wall. His primary doctor is out on vacation, and the covering GP refuses to authorize the diaper coverage without a formal recommendation from a neurologist at the local clinic—but the neurologist won't be back until the end of the month, and we can't just wait around. I keep telling my mom that the hospital's recommendation should be more than enough and that dragging a neurologist into this is unnecessary, but honestly, am I even right? On top of that, the head nurse for the home health program is refusing to sign off on regular care because she claims he looked "pretty good" the last time she saw him—which was two months ago. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with these bureaucrats without completely losing my mind?

Unfortunately, a hospital recommendation for diapers isn't going to cut it; you really do need that specific neurologist's assessment.
As for the home health services, your primary doctor—and it doesn't matter if it's a covering physician—is supposed to send a nurse to evaluate the situation upon your request. From there, it goes to a board that decides whether or not to approve the services you're asking for.

Hope that helps.

Grace Fowler said:Hey everyone!!
Just wanted to check in—things have been mostly steady!!! We managed to get away to the coast for a few days, but about ten days later, everything went south again :-(

slyseal28 said:Things have taken a turn for the worse over here... and it's way more complicated than we ever anticipated.

Damn this disease!!!
Hang in there, ladies! 🙂

Angela Wright said:Hey everyone, sending much love to you all from San Francisco🙂
Hang in there, I'm thinking of you guys.

👋
Must be nice!

Melissa Kim45 said:Hey brightgardener8, 🙂

It always puts a smile on my face when I see you pop up here—well, okay, maybe "smile" isn't the right word since we aren't exactly feeling joyful lately, but you know what I mean.

Look, I’m still here hanging out with you guys every single day, it's just that I've been feeling pretty demotivated lately, so I'd rather just keep my mouth shut. Is that really too much to ask?

I still remember my mom calling me right in the middle of the workday just to tell me she was watching something. That was actually a pretty educational show. I saw it on TV, and honestly, I probably should have tuned in myself. It was driving me crazy watching it, but at least back then, she was actually still TALKING.

My brain was basically playing tricks on me, convinced I was scraping everything off the plate, but honestly? She was still eating the whole thing.

We kept taking her to the bathroom even though she was still in diapers, but she’d constantly end up peeing right next to the toilet the second we pulled the diaper off. It was the exact same thing we dealt with with Melissa Kim45, except back then, she could actually walk.

And just like that, it’s gone. Gone for good.
It’ll be a miracle if they even manage to open their eyes.

We’re somehow managing to scrape by with the diaper situation, but we’re constantly having to shell out extra for those glucose test strips. And of course, there’s a limit on how many they’ll cover, which is just great. They cost an absolute fortune—honestly, you might as well be buying solid gold at this point.
That’s just how things work around here.

Angela Wright said:I don't know which facility he's in, but they get paid specifically to deal with this kind of behavior—it's basically par for the course when you're dealing with the elderly or the sick. I mean, if they can't manage him and get a doctor to prescribe some sedatives, basically provide the service they’re charging a fortune for, then honestly, it might be better to put him in a Mayo Clinic type setting where there are doctors constantly on hand to handle his meds. You have to think about his dignity. For God's sake, if he were healthy and sane, he wouldn't even act like this. My mom was always terrified of what would happen once she wasn't herself anymore. She didn't want to face losing her mind like that.
Look, hang in there and don't let them push you around at five in the morning. Isn't that exactly why you put him in a care facility and paid someone else to deal with these outbursts in the first place?

Oh, Angela Wright, everything sounds so perfect in those facility brochures and on their websites, but the reality on the ground is a totally different story, and I'm pretty sure you know that too. They're "professionals," they're "dedicated," they're "fully equipped," blah, blah, blah...

The massive fees you pay go straight to the facility management who couldn't care less about the patients anyway. As for the staff? Aside from being spread way too thin, they’re probably underpaid and completely unmotivated. Shout out to the rare exceptions, I guess.

And as if the illness itself isn't enough—as if the whole agony of watching a loved one slip away isn't hard enough—now you also have to fight with the facility staff after all the battles with doctors and hospitals.

To give you a concrete example, at 'our' facility, we actually have a staff member screaming at a patient with Parkinson's just because he's being stubborn and won't listen. Can you believe that? Someone who is completely demented is being "stubborn" and "not listening"!!!! Seriously, I know how to treat people like that better than someone whose actual job is to care for the sick...

It's just pathetic that we don't even have an alternative in situations like this.

Carol Ramirez said:Hey ladies, 🙂
I won't take up too much space here—this is supposed to be a place to support those who still have hope as long as they're breathing—but I just had to drop in and say hi. I’ve been taking a bit of a breather lately; I really needed to step back and focus on myself for a while.

Hi, Lecka! 🙂 Glad to see you're doing alright. I figure things can't stay rough all the time, right?

Melissa Kim45 said:Mom barely ate anything this morning. She just won't open her mouth—won't do it, period. Maybe it's her choice. Or maybe we're the ones in the wrong for spending the last hour trying to force her to eat. She's clean and hydrated, so we'll just give her what she can take.

We went through the exact same thing. Our mom always had an appetite like a horse—we actually had to watch her because of her diabetes—and then suddenly, she just stopped eating altogether.
She would just clench her teeth shut and wouldn't budge. No matter how hard we tried or how much we pleaded, nothing worked. Eventually, she had to get a feeding tube...

Melissa Kim45 said:I’m either going to pull through this or I’m just done. This suffering—both hers and ours—has to mean something. It has to. Even if there are moments where I feel like I’m pouring everything into someone who's basically a complete stranger. Honestly, God forgive me, if I had actually loved my own mother more, I never would have been able to push myself this hard or work this much. Maybe that’s what Love actually is? Maybe we just see it differently because our own perspectives are all warped. We get selfish, we get angry, we hold grudges, and we never forget. They say the hardest thing in life is forgiving your parents. I used to feel that way. But today? I’m actually grateful for them. All this heartache... it feels like one massive, overwhelming blessing. That’s gotta be what Love looks like.

🙂 🙂

Linda Wright5 said:Hey everyone,
It’s with a heavy heart, but a sense of peace, that I’m letting everyone know my sister passed away last night. She went out quietly in her sleep.
She was a true fighter, and honestly, I couldn't be prouder of her.

rapidbear8 said:I posted here once before to vent about how much it sucked watching my dad battle cancer—both lung and brain. It was brutal. Well, he lost his final fight on July 15th. 😢😢😢 It’s only been six months since we first found out about this nightmare of a disease...

My heart goes out to you all, and to anyone else who’s had to say goodbye to someone recently because of these disgusting diseases. It really sucks. I'm truly sorry. 😢

quietpilot87 said:My god, the lung cancer is gone, just like I said.
But now we’re dealing with brain metastases. 😢

I'm so sorry, quietpilot87. I really hope your mom pulls through this one too!

Melissa Kim45 said:I honestly don't even know how to put what's happening here into words anymore. I'm not even sure if I can wrap my head around it...

I started typing this out, but I gave up pretty fast. I mean, you already know the deal. We went through the exact same thing with my mom, it's just that everything is moving way faster this time... It doesn't make it any easier or harder for us, though. Just this damn disease. I feel like we've all said that phrase a thousand times on this board by now. 😢

Hang in there! 🙂