Posts by Nancy Thomas18

my darling

rustyscout31 said:Sadly, my mom almost literally starved to death. In the 21st century! She was constantly vomiting, and they had her on IV drips in the ER. Nobody even suspected the small intestine; they just assumed it was her stomach or something else. Finally, after a massive struggle searching for doctors who actually knew what they were doing, it turned out she had thickening in her small intestine, so food couldn't pass through at all.
If my doctor—who is also a friend—hadn't insisted on immediate surgery, my poor mom would have died from hunger...
She’s down to 49 kg now, following the surgery and an adenocarcinoma of the jejunum. She’s drinking Ensure and some other supplements her oncologist prescribed to help boost her strength and immunity. Obviously, the weight isn't everything, but she needs to be strong enough to handle chemo... I'd personally be much happier if she could put on a few pounds... So anyway...

I am so sorry she's dealing with so many complications. It honestly makes me wonder how my doctor had the nerve to lecture me just two weeks ago about how the small intestine is a total mystery to them. I was at the hospital for a follow-up colonoscopy and everything supposedly looked fine, yet my markers are through the roof. I'm not naive enough to miss these things, and I am seriously fed up with all these different theories from one doctor or another. I swear, I'll push through this chemo to the end, get all my checkups done, and whatever happens, happens—but eventually, I'm going to tell them all where they can shove it. The digestive system is so incredibly complex, and they're just playing games with us!

Melissa Kim45 said:Right. So much fun. 😁 How’s your dad doing after his surgery? Keeping my fingers crossed for you... 🙂

Things here are basically just pure chaos. Mom can't seem to put an ounce on; she hasn't even hit 78 pounds yet (that's where she is today, but she took a diuretic so a lot of that was just water weight). She won't go above 82 lbs no matter what. She needs to go in for a checkup, but she refuses—she's terrified. Getting some good news, or even just nothing too bad, would be such a boost for her, but she just won't let a doctor near her. We don't want to force her into anything, but still... she's so incredibly weak, and it's not like she isn't eating.
She smokes, obviously, and begs people to come over and bring her unknown. Someone tells me they will, then they actually bring it to her. What kind of person looks at someone in my mom's state (both physically and mentally) and decides to bring her 3mg unknown? I found two pills shoved in the armchair, one empty wrapper in her pillowcase, and one half-used pill under the rug. Seriously.😲
I called that woman after, and I don't think she's coming back.😁
It was such a struggle to get the truth out of her; in situations like this, she gets incredibly sharp and cunning, very persuasive and stubborn.
I ask her if maybe what I'm giving her isn't enough. It is. In the morning, I ask how she slept. Fine. And then she acts too precious for other people to help her sleep. That just means she knows exactly what she's doing. And she clearly loves getting a little buzz...

She starts coughing, then grabs a glass of water and just keeps choking on the cough... I'm watching water fly everywhere, her face turning bright red, drooling, with a cigarette in her other hand, and I can't believe it. I can't say a word to her. "You're always just picking on me." Then I grab my phone to call someone, and she yells, "You're going to take everything from me!" She paces around the apartment, stumbling. If I were to say I wanted to watch CSI right now, she'd snap, "Oh, so now I'm the Pyramid!" 🙂 I don't watch anything, it doesn't matter, I just leave her alone, but she isn't looking at the Pyramid, she's just dragging herself around the house. It's a miracle she hasn't completely broken down. Are you kidding me? Where's my toothbrush? What are you doing? Is it fun for you on the internet? When are you going to cut my nails? When someone calls, I always hear: "Do you want some, Melissa?" 😠
It happens every ten minutes.

Yesterday she worked me up so much that I gave her Haldol in the evening, even though she isn't supposed to be taking it anymore. The doctor said I could if she got really restless.

I'm just completely drained. Everything is getting on my nerves and I can't stand anyone.🙄 My brother is the same way; he even said he has no idea how much longer he can hold it together. We have nobody to lean on, no one is helping us at all, we just have each other and this awful situation. On top of that, she's constantly badgering him to bring the grandson over, but as soon as the little guy touches something: don't touch this, don't touch that, he'll ruin the fish, he'll wet the table, he'll mess up the couch, it's a memory, he'll tear it, he'll wrinkle it...
If she's going to act like that, THEN WHAT'S THE POINT?! He's a two-and-a-half-year-old kid, not the Terminator, SO WHAT?! Good grief...😍😁

I’m thinking about scrolling back to the very beginning of this thread to see if I missed any good ideas. I'm honestly at a loss for what else we can try to give her... It feels like the doctors have done everything possible, and I doubt there are any other treatments left in the toolkit.

Melissa Kim45, I know how incredibly hard it is to live like this, but please hang in there. You know better than anyone that this won't last forever. That weight loss your mom is experiencing is seriously concerning—I'm going through something similar, but I manage to get some Ensure down every now and then. Maybe try encouraging her to try that or a similar nutritional supplement? It really helps keep me upright, even though I'm constantly reaching for a cigarette just like your mom...🤷I'm not doing much better myself, except for that one week when I'm getting chemo. Stay strong!

Elizabeth Diaz60, oh man... Angela Wright really hit the nail on the head and said everything that needs to be said.

Amanda Miller69 said:Thanks, everyone. You all have been such incredible support through it all, and I’ll definitely be keeping up with you and helping out however I can. My Mommy is an angel now and finally at peace. I even had a dream about her and Dad together early this morning, so I really hope she's found that peace up there...

Dear Amanda Miller69, please accept my deepest condolences.

Grace Fowler said:Hi everyone!!
Another week has just flown by... I don't know about you, but I feel like I can barely keep track of what day or month it is anymore. Honestly, and I swear to God, it makes me a little sad to read some of the new posts filled with so much sorrow and tears... I really want to send as much positive energy your way as possible because I truly believe that staying positive—whatever you want to call it—is the best thing we can do while fighting this illness. Personally, that's what keeps me going and fueled up through this year. I totally understand and can empathize with how you're feeling while going through this ordeal, but I KNOW there is an endless amount of love inside all of us, and that is where that positive energy comes from!
As for me, my results are looking a bit better, and we're heading to Germany this Sunday for immunotherapy, so I'm actually looking forward to it!
Please don't mind me if I occasionally try to be too optimistic... my wishes are completely sincere! :-)
Grace

That's wonderful, Grace, that you got everything sorted out and are finally traveling for treatment. I'm crossing my fingers for you and praying things get better again. Hang in there, dear, you know we are all right behind you!

It is such a breath of fresh air to hear your news after all the bad updates lately. It breaks my heart that some people have come so close to the end of their journey, but you just have to keep fighting no matter how hard it gets. I'm headed to the hospital next week myself; even though my chemo markers keep rising and they found some enlargement in my intestine. I feel like I'm having the worst luck, honestly, but I'm not giving up!

Grace Fowler said:Hey there, my fellow warriors!!!
I read everything and follow along with you all every single day, though I have to admit I rarely jump in to write anything... So, six weeks have flown by, and this Sunday I'm heading back to Germany for more immunotherapy... Everything is going okay for the most part... the side effects from the last surgery and chemo are hitting me just a little harder than before, but nothing I can't handle.....

P.S. Nancy Thomas18—hang in there, things have to get better soon! :-)
gentlemoose62—I hope you're doing great and staying positive; honestly, I'm a little jealous of all those amazing scents you get to enjoy out in California :-)

And to EVERYONE, old and new fighters alike, I'm rooting for you and truly believe you'll win this fight against "the beast."

Much love, your Dina

Dina, we are right there with you—you’re a total warrior, I know it. You'll figure everything out in no time...
Sending you so much love, just keep moving forward!👍

Hey everyone, old friends and new alike!
Hang in there and don't lose heart. Let's lend a helping hand to those who are struggling. We're always stronger together! I'm just sitting here waiting on my marker results and trying to stay sane, but I'm staying hopeful...

gentlemoose62 said:Hey, first thing's first—you really have to make an effort to get some sleep at night, even if you need a little help from a sedative once in a while. Don't let your body wear itself out right before chemo starts.
I totally agree, I’m just so inspired by Dennis's bravery and her positive attitude through everything she's dealt with.
I know how terrifying this awful chemo is, but you’ve already made it through five rounds, so you can definitely handle this one too.
And then there’s just one more left, I assume. Come on, you've got this!👍

As for all the bad news and depressing stories... unfortunately, there will always be those, that's just the nature of a place like this. But there are also tons of good updates and beautiful stories and, most importantly, so many people who truly understand you and want to help. You are never alone here, but I know you already realize that.
I'm praying your chemo goes as smoothly and painlessly as possible.👍

So, my fifth cycle wrapped up today, and honestly, I feel like someone ran over my head with a steamroller. Sadly, instead of just one more round, I actually have three more to go. It's part of a specific Mayo Clinic protocol—one week of chemo followed by three weeks off, and that's the plan for eight cycles total. After that, we wait for the test results and see what happens next.
Thank you so much for the support, to you and all the wonderful people here, and I'm wishing the very best for all of you too!👍

Hi everyone, I’m feeling pretty anxious and down, just like I always do before every chemo session. What I really want to know is how and when the follow-up exams actually happen... that physical exam where they check my abdomen and lymph nodes can be so misleading. I've had eight rounds so far and I'm heading into my fifth now, so I'm wondering when I might expect results like a CEA or CT scan. I'm just so worried about potential metastasis... I would be incredibly grateful to anyone who knows anything about this. Please feel free to message me privately too!
Wishing you all so much luck on your healing journeys!

Hi everyone, I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. I'm getting ready for my fifth chemo session and I am honestly terrified, but I feel like you all are the only ones who truly understand this hell. I really admire Dina; I was just reading one of her posts, and she is incredibly brave for everything she's going through...
I haven't been on the forum for a little while, mostly because of some bad news and some pretty harsh stories. Wishing you all nothing but the best.

Hang in there, Dina, and good luck! You're such a fighter, and I just know you're going to make it through...👍

Give this a shot: two slices of fresh farmhouse cheese, a few grapes, and a drizzle of flaxseed oil along with some flaxseeds. It definitely works for 🙂
...

Hey everyone! I see there are both beautiful and tough moments happening for all of you. Oh well, that's just life—it can be pretty wild and unpredictable... Things are getting a little less hairy on my end thanks to the chemo... 🙂 Well, that's just about it...
Grace Fowler, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes perfectly for you! You're honestly such an unstoppable woman and everything is going to be just fine. We aren't backing down...

Anonymous said:I'm in a total mess right now. I got stuck in a cycle with drugs and I've been undergoing outpatient treatment under medical supervision for a while now. Honestly, I feel like these meds are hitting me harder than the actual drugs did when I was out on the streets. Currently, I'm taking 18 heptanones, an antidepressant called Citalon, and a sedative called Prazine. Before this, along with the heptanones, I was using ZAN to sleep and taking five 10mg tablets of Apaurin a day. I was strictly using heroin, but once I realized the risk of HIV and Hepatitis, I knew I had to get help. During my last overdose, when the paramedics were trying to bring me back to life right there on the street in downtown, I told them I'd had enough and wanted treatment. But man, all these medications affect my brain so intensely... it’s terrifying. I feel like a lab rat being tested on until they finally find the right combination for me

Hey everyone, and hey to you specifically, Danilo. It is so wonderful that you decided to seek treatment, but listen to an older woman who has seen quite a bit of life. A friend's daughter went through the exact same thing with heroin and started her recovery after several years. The first thing you need is a massive amount of willpower to build a normal life; without that drive, it won't work. Antidepressants are fine, and heptanones are okay if you gradually taper the dose, but stay away from Manditol—that's more for people dealing with schizophrenia, it just wipes your brain, and you definitely DON'T NEED that. Maybe something like Apaurin at night to help you sleep. My friend's daughter made it out; she's a beautiful young woman living a totally normal life now, and she managed to get off heroin in just two months using only antidepressants and heptanones. There's one more thing! GET AWAY from the people you used to call "friends" in the drug scene. Change your environment. Honestly, the best move might be checking into a rehab community for a while. Sending you so much good will and strength to hang in there and pull through...

Thank you so much for all the kind words of support from everyone who reached out. Honestly, I've been feeling pretty rough these last few days, and I can't help but feel a bit anxious about whether I'll have to go under the knife again—things have gotten a little complicated lately. I just can't seem to shake this abscess forming under my liver, though it's definitely much smaller than it was after the first surgery. This Friday, I’m finally heading in to finalize my chemo schedule, which is adding to the whole stressful mess. Reading through so many posts here, it seems like everyone dealt with such awful side effects, and I'm honestly terrified of how I'll manage it all... but I know I have to. My biggest wish is just to hold on long enough to see my son graduate. With the way things are going, three years feels like a lot, and I really hope I get to see that happen... I don't want to be a jinx...
Stay strong, everyone fighting for your loved ones. As for us patients, we're just going to keep pushing through, one day at a time... hoping for a little more happiness ahead. Sending love to everyone, and my deepest sympathies to those who have lost someone...

Hi everyone!
I've been reading through all your posts for quite a while now, catching up on every single page. I was personally diagnosed with colon carcinoma and went through two surgeries in just one month; finding comfort here in all the kind words you share with one another has meant the world to me. It’s just me and my son right now—he's studying in NYC—so I've been processing all these crises with you guys, and I know I'll keep doing the same. I truly admire Angela Wright; I believe she is such an incredible person that anyone would want by their side, whether in health or in sickness. And I have so much respect for Diana, who is such a fierce fighter, something I feel I'm still working on. I'm just about to start chemo, and I have so many questions that I can't seem to find answers to. If anyone would be willing to share some advice on nutrition, managing chemo, or dealing with post-op complications, I would be so grateful. I'll keep reading along and will reach out whenever I need to, because some days are harder than others, but overall, I'm right here with you... and maybe one day I can help someone else with my own experience. Hang in there, let's fight this until the end!