Posts by brisktiger56

Can we actually link this back to that old... saying:

be careful what you wish for, lest you actually get it😉?

Sam Hayes, if you don't mind me asking—what year were you born, or basically, how old are you?
Thanks 🙂

😁 I mean, where on earth did you find such a total killjoy to be 😉? You'd think there might be some slightly more upbeat or actually interesting examples out there somewhere...

But hey, whatever—I guess I should be glad you decided to bring the conversation back to the main point 😉.

Sam Hayes said:Hey friend, feel free to drop by my thread anytime 🙂
I'm shutting down the PC and heading out now 🙂

Seriously though—I truly wish you, and I’m pretty sure everyone else here too, a smooth journey toward a total shift in perspective and much brighter days ahead.🙂

wearyhawk83 said:It sounds to me like you totally get where your triggers are—you just need the practical tools to actually apply what you've learned.

Shut down the computer and just go for it.

Good luck out there!

That advice right there? That's the spark for the whole journey from 1243 miles. Everything starts getting better from that point on—but honestly, I worry about how Sam Hayes will keep showing up on this forum, since part of her just feeds into this cycle. Still, we're all sitting here talking about her, but once she finally pulls the plug on the PC, she’ll have to face herself—and that’s the hardest part. That's that initial step you're talking about when you say: just shut it down and go.

Lisa Morales4 said:It's actually called a spiritual counselor or a priest, and honestly, it's a bit of a relief.
I’ve leaned on spiritual counselors quite a bit, both here in the States and when I was traveling abroad.
They essentially coordinate with one another—much like doctors do, maintaining full professional discretion—to share insights about my situation. There was something really comforting about knowing someone was looking out for me and understood my journey without having to dig through a medical file. Not to mention that little sense of peace you get from knowing people are actually praying for you. It gave me a real sense of spiritual strength and fullness.

Sam Hayes, if this isn't too personal for you, maybe it might help someone else down the road eventually.

brisktiger56, what are you even going to do... there's all kinds of people out there.🤷 🙂

So, here’s the real question: how are you going to shift Sam Hayes's perspective enough that they'd actually sit down and talk to a priest in the first place? Since they aren't religious, that's a hurdle. It could be a good move, provided they don't end up talking to some total creep—like that predator over in Six Hills—so... it would probably be smart to scout out which priest actually has the patience and the actual talent for those kinds of deep conversations.

It’s worth a shot, but Sam Hayes, just a heads up... you're probably going to have to start praying 🙂. If that helps you feel any better, then it might be worth the effort.

p.s. are you an agnostic or an atheist?

Tyler Diaz4 said:I agree; having good friends around provides exactly the kind of support you're looking for. To build on what Tyler Diaz4 mentioned regarding chemical support—namely medication—it is my professional opinion that one also needs expert guidance. Sometimes you need someone professional and neutral, yet still trustworthy enough to truly open up to.
The issue we face here is that instead of investing time and resources into counseling, education, or proper guidance, we often opt for expensive pharmaceutical interventions. We end up masking the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause.

It really all comes down to who you end up seeing. For instance, I once ended up in the ER with my kid because of a high fever, and the doctor there immediately prescribed an antibiotic. It was constant chaos, so we went looking for a second opinion. This other doctor did a quick blood test—just a few drops—and determined it was just a virus, noting that an antibiotic could actually do more harm than good in this case.

It's the same story across the board. Some people would probably tell Sam Hayes to jump straight onto antidepressants, while others might suggest a more homeopathic approach.

You have to be careful—you really need to ask a ton of questions before diving headfirst into any kind of treatment...

Lisa Morales4 said:But all her guys stayed back in the States! Why get so defensive right away? Just let it go!

By the way, did you honestly think this whole "mentorship" setup was some kind of flirting???
Goodness, and here I was trying to give you a compliment by saying you actually fit the description of a "desirable person" from your own post, and look at you getting all worked up. ☕
Aw, you and I wouldn't even be able to share a sandwich.🙄

Were you actually hoping for that 🙂?

Honestly, it gets on my nerves when a thread starts veering off into posts about... I don't know, whether I'm a good mentor or just someone's shoulder to cry on—and I don't even know the person. To me, this discussion is pretty serious business, and I value straightforward, substantive posts focused on the person actually dealing with the issue. Stella, N'Dug, and a few others write that way, and while I appreciate you trying and having the good intentions, you're just not being serious enough for me. You throw in an English expression here and there that only a handful of people grasp, and don't even get me started on the Bible stuff. Just drop the book thing—it's a topic like politics > everything else, just never clear or exact.

If you were trying to give me a compliment and I didn't say thanks, my bad—I didn't catch it as one because it wasn't clearly stated. I prefer direct, unambiguous communication in American English; I guess I'm just wired that way 😉. Cheers!!!

Sam Hayes said:ho ho ho, honestly, people just love slapping labels on me—so I’d much rather deal with some positive little stickers here than face all the actual accusations and criticisms out in the real world... everyone seems to be such an expert at talking big, even if they haven't actually accomplished a single thing 😉
I mean, I'm pretty certain that in the near future, I'll find myself surrounded by a different crowd with a completely different outlook on life, maybe a bit more 👍

Maybe take a second and answer that yourself... I mean, can you actually call someone a friend if all they ever do is try to put you in a box? To me, a real friend isn't someone who spends their time categorizing you—especially when they aren't actually doing anything to help you out. That's not friendship; that's just some passerby with an opinion, judging based on nothing but their own shallow assumptions.

Lisa Morales4 said:So that means brisktiger56 fits all those criteria listed above:
Hey there.
Patient.
support
I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of mentorship lately. It isn't just about someone showing you the ropes or giving you a roadmap to follow; it’s more about that quiet, steady guidance that helps you find your own way. There's something special about having someone in your corner who has already navigated the storms you're currently facing. It makes the whole journey feel a little less daunting.
There's always a shoulder to lean on.
honest

... or maybe not. 😍 Haha.

Just wait until the session wraps up, then make it clear by telling her, "You aren't her musician."

Man, what an interesting way to see things 😍 Do you honestly think I'm hitting on Sam Hayes 😬? Did I frame that poorly? If so, you might need to move your seat in the theater—you're sitting at such a weird angle that you can't even see the screen > maybe adjust your perspective😁

Sam Hayes said:I just love this kind of thinking 😍

So, you just have to hold onto them 🙂
From what I can gather, you’re pretty aware of where you stand—your whole "position," if you will. I honestly think the move here is just finding some solid people you could hang out with at a place like Disney World😁—people you can actually trust in person. There’s a massive difference between typing stuff out on a forum and saying it face-to-face to someone who’s actually listening and genuinely wants to help.

A friend of mine once helped me shift my entire perspective. Just by sharing a few of his takes on my situation, he managed to add that bit of rose-colored optimism that Stella mentioned.
Real people can do so much more for you than these little letters we’re tossing around here.

Lisa Morales4 said:apply within 👍

I get what this smiley means 👍, but honestly—my relationship with English is... complicated, let's just say. --so please, for the love of all things holy, could you just write in American ? 😉--thanks.

Lisa Morales4 said:Well, if the movie doesn't consume me, I'll consume it. Or maybe we just meet somewhere in the middle.
It's a lot like reading scripture: you can read the exact same verse a dozen times and come away with a different message every single time. It all depends on the Spirit, or whatever you want to call that inner spark.
Nothing is ever really set in stone. The only thing that stays fixed is that heavy chain on a little baby elephant, even though Dumbo is a big boy now—that old chain still holds him back more than his own strength does.

And that's exactly where the issue lies—people either refuse to read the Bible as it was actually intended, or the whole thing is just so poorly structured that everyone ends up cherry-picking their own personal version, which, honestly, is pretty terrible. What kind of divine law is so vague that it changes depending on who's looking at it? One minute "an eye for an eye" means you take a life because someone took yours, and the next person interprets it to mean they owe you a life to settle the score—like you're literally being handed a replacement person. It's a mess.

Like I mentioned earlier, I don't think comparing this to sitting in a dark theater and shifting your seat slightly to get a better view of a two-dimensional screen is really hitting the mark here.

dustyskipper3 said:Well, there you go. That's probably the fastest way to shift how you see things, though... maybe it's also a quick way to wreck your psyche so badly that you can never quite find the thread of your own distorted perception again. You might find yourself thinking, "I need this now," or "just a little more of that," but... well, even the real experts know they have to be careful not to let it ruin them.
So, I guess if you actually want to change how you perceive reality, you first have to understand what reality actually is. A lot of addicts, I think, get stuck starting in their teenage years, and it's hard to help them because their entire sense of reality was built on drugs; they don't really know what 'normal' life is like, they only know that... that parallel version. 😬 ☕

🙏

Exactly. I just wonder if the user suggesting LSD got flagged or something, because that suggestion was pretty pathetic and honestly dangerous.

Ned, looking back at your previous post about consciousness and intentional shifts, it gave me an idea. If someone is trying to work on themselves—or rather, adjust themselves to the world they live in—they really ought to have a grounded, patient person by their side. Someone they can talk to about everything that eats at them, everything that makes them happy, all those messy emotions. They need a pillar, maybe even a mentor, or just a shoulder to cry on... but also someone who will give them the honest truth about which direction they're actually heading.

That kind of person definitely wouldn't be handing out LSD or anything like that...

What do you think?

Lisa Morales4 said:Exactly, we've just shifted our perspective (our vantage point)
even if the climax remains the same—we're seeing it through "different eyes" (from a different angle), so the experience feels different.

.. but what if everything looks pitch black when you're sad, and rose-colored when you're happy, yet in both scenarios, there's this underlying emptiness inside—deeper and more depressing in the first case, but in the second... just an omnipresent sense of void and sorrow... does anyone else feel this?

Change your angle: move to a different part of the room. Sit in a different chair.
Step away. Go outside.
Things will take on a whole new meaning.

does anyone else feel this?

Try picking up a guitar. Or maybe a harmonica. Or just put on some music and do some aerobics. Move on!
Focus on new sensations.

Lean against the wall: start arching your back downward. Listen to your spine.

Do some squats. You don't want things sagging in a few years. Think about staying fit and looking good well into your old age.

I appreciate you trying to help Sam Hayes out, really, but suggesting she move to the balcony or down to the floor is pretty much pointless because the actual experience doesn't change. A movie theater is just a dark room where the only thing you’re supposed to focus on is that silver screen.

Why didn't you suggest, say, going to a Broadway play where the audience watches some tragedy filled with death and suffering? Everyone in the crowd gets that knot in their stomach—just like Sam Hayes did—and then you’d have to tell her to go sneak behind the curtain to see how the actors are actually behaving. You know, while someone is supposedly dying on stage, the actors might be having a blast or bragging about finally hooking up with that little ballerina. 😉 Meanwhile, two rivals from the play are just whispering in the dark, waiting for their cue. Sam wouldn't have felt any of that if she had just stayed put in her seat...

Isn't that basically what we're talking about here? Shifting the position, expanding the view, and changing the perception?

Sam Hayes said:Honestly, I don't really care, and I don't particularly care to be "normal" anyway 😁 though I suppose life would be a little nicer if I felt accepted and could just feel a bit more at peace—that, I guess, would be nice😍

just go grab a glass—literally just one—of some decent blackberry wine😉

Sam Hayes said:@dustyraven26 — I suppose everyone views the world through their own unique lens, right? We all experience things in our own way—it’s not really about seeing what you want to believe, but more about actually experiencing what is right in front of you, at least that's how I tend to look at it...

@brisktiger56 — See, there you go—I guess I'm just not exactly "normal" 😁 and honestly, it makes you wonder how someone feels when they genuinely love people, yet others just see them as being eccentric—or maybe even just unhappy—instead of seeing who they truly are

😁

Well, you don't have much of a choice—you might as well embrace being the "unhappy" one, since there isn't really another option 😍
But in all seriousness though:
Maybe you're overthinking the idea that something is broken within you, when really, you're just comparing yourself to people who are fundamentally broken themselves. It might be better to just lean into your own perspective instead of trying to force yourself into someone else's worldview—especially when their way of thinking doesn't even fit you anyway.

I'm telling you, find your tribe—people who actually get it—and everything will start feeling a whole lot more normal 😉

Sam Hayes said:I suppose I might just be missing a few screws in my head—it’s hard to say, really. 🙄
I suppose my own experience is fairly standard for someone my age—nothing particularly groundbreaking or out of the ordinary, I guess...
I suppose I see things a little differently than most people my age—which, if I'm being honest, sometimes makes me feel like a bit of a total freak. For instance, instead of spending my weekends hitting up crowded bars or chasing the latest nightlife scene, I much prefer things like hiking through the woods, hosting a backyard BBQ, or just getting lost in a quiet corner of the local library. I really value deep conversations, long walks, and staying active—those kinds of simple, restorative things. Most of the time when I go out with people, we end up racing around the city or trying to find the next loud spot, whereas I’d much rather just sit outside and look up at the stars. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around how so many people don't seem to know how to actually enjoy being out in nature. 😢 It’s especially tough during these summer months... I can't help but wonder—am I just being unusual here, or am I actually expected to adapt myself to this specific mentality? Or maybe I'm just overthinking things, I suppose.
Well, I mean, look—I certainly don't mind heading out to a local coffee shop or hitting up a club every now and then—but I’m definitely not doing it constantly... I guess you have to find that balance, right?

Preach!
You aren't "normal"—well, in the context of how most people act—but compared to my own worldview, you're more than normal. Honestly, you should probably start hanging out more with people who actually think like you, rather than just sticking to whoever happens to be nearby right now.

Just stay true to yourself. Stare at the stars, watch the clouds, lie down in a field of grass... don't let it bother you that others aren't built like you. They don't need to be; they can be whatever they want to be, or whatever they already are.

With the way you view the great outdoors, everything is perfectly fine with you!

Sam Hayes said:Yeah, I feel that too... maybe this first part is actually the easier bit? I guess what really gets under my skin is how much time everything takes—it feels like everything requires so much patience 🙄

Whether it’s "easier" isn't really the point. What actually matters is what's more effective at shifting perception...

Maybe you're just lacking a little life experience 🙄

Sam Hayes said:I’ve been thinking lately—is it actually possible to shift your entire perception just by tweaking a few daily habits or perhaps moving to a different part of the country?

Sure, it’s possible—but honestly, it usually works the other way around. You change how you see things, and *that* is what eventually drives you to move to a new place or overhaul your daily routine.😉

MJ figured out how to actually spark a shift a long time ago 😉—he knew exactly who needed to step up first 🙂