Posts by Jessica Watson4

brightridge59 said:So, now that you’ve gotten to know everyone in the group, what exactly is holding you back from jumping back into the conversation on the new chat?

Regarding that last point, I’ve personally contributed about 200 posts to the chat up to this point, and I’ve made it a point to ensure every single one was constructive and stayed strictly on topic. It’s funny, though—looking back at all those interactions, who have I actually gotten to know? Honestly, almost nobody.
I had the pleasure of meeting a whole bunch of wonderful people while hanging out in the chat.
I’ve been sitting here reflecting on our conversation, and I find myself wondering about the underlying logic behind your approach. How exactly do you envision people actually getting to know one another better through this process? I’d love to hear your thoughts on how that connection is supposed to truly take root.
It seems like things are starting to fall apart on my end.

Honestly, I hate to be the one to say it, but you really can't blame anyone else here—you're the one who brought this on yourself.

I have actually met quite a large number of people through topics that have absolutely nothing to do with the chat, including some wonderful connections made over on PMs as well.
I’ve always felt that there is a profound difference between someone who genuinely seeks out a connection and someone who simply happens to have an opening in their schedule. It is much more rewarding to invest your energy into getting to know someone who is actively pursuing you with intention, rather than just settling for whoever happens to be standing there when a window of opportunity opens up. In my experience, true chemistry flourishes when both people are leaning in, rather than one person just being available by chance.

Austin Chavez6 Asks:
So, I have to wonder, what was the whole point of opening this chat in the first place? Wasn't the original vision to clear out all that clutter and spam from the other threads, creating a dedicated space where people looking to connect could actually find one another? It’s just a reality of human nature that not everyone has the sheer nerve to slide into someone's DMs and lead with, "Hey, here is who I am, let's get to know each other." It can be quite intimidating, honestly.

It really was, and that's exactly why there’s this ongoing conversation about elevating the overall quality of our subforums. We're looking at a bit of a minor reform here. Honestly, I find myself wondering—what’s the logic behind us constantly finding ourselves repeating the exact same points over and over again? It feels like we could all benefit from moving past the repetitive loops.

Do you always try to get the conversation moving like this in every single thread? Since when did that become your thing?

Regarding the posts? 😁

Of course, I’m certainly not going to be the one to step in and announce, "Alright everyone, let's start chatting to get the discussion moving!" only for the whole group to immediately dive straight into their work. That kind of thing just doesn't happen that way. Real engagement happens naturally when people start responding to the main topic, perhaps throwing in a little Off topic commentary here and there—not because it was planned or targeted, but simply because good communication tends to spark itself once the conversation starts flowing.

So, I have to ask—why wasn't there any actual moderation happening in the chats, or even any effort to share those card packs? Do you honestly believe that the moderation duties on those channels were being handled with full accountability and diligence?

The topics in this chat are a bit more laid back than what you might find elsewhere, so you won't see people getting banned for the same kinds of things that would get you kicked off the other boards. It’s a much more relaxed environment here.

I personally jumped into the chat to handle the reports that I felt warranted a sanction if they were actually carried out. Since I wasn't hanging out in the chat for the most part, I wasn't really engaging in any active discussions, clearly. 😁 Consequently, that specific side of the moderation team wasn't really represented there.

So what about all the newcomers who are just looking to socialize? You mean someone feeling lonely is supposed to just scroll down to Off topic to find people to hang out and meet? Can't they just head over to the Lonely Hearts subforum instead?

Are you seriously trying to tell me you're worried about what happens to newcomers? Kaman.

They’ll find their ways to connect in other ways. 🙂

Prioritizing the quality of the subforum above everything else—bravo. As for everyone else, it's not our fault if you're lonely or unhappy; you'll just have to figure it out yourselves.

Oh, please, don't be so dramatic.

Honestly, nothing really—it just bugs me that there won't be a steady stream of new faces anymore, when there always used to be.
So, what was it about that specific chat that bothered you guys so much?
Was it too much work to moderate? I highly doubt it, since moderation there was basically non-existent anyway. Or was it the core group that was active 99% of the time?
Who exactly were they bothering?
At least they weren't causing any trouble in the other threads.
Your explanations feel 🙏

mistywolf17 said:I'm sorry, but most people don't really participate. In fact, Amanda James27 is probably the one most active on this sub-forum. As for everyone else, some might leave maybe 5 to 10 posts a month, while others don't post anything at all outside of the chat.

Regarding moderating a chat, it would take me several hours a day to monitor it properly. Do you really think any of the moderators have that kind of time or even want to spend it that way? 😕 But that's not really the point right now, because those chats aren't very productive anyway.
Like I've mentioned before, I think a themed chat would actually make sense.

I’ve already laid out my reasons for this, at least regarding how I see things.
I honestly don't see the point in circling back and repeating the exact same points over and over in a single thread. Back when the chat was integrated into the subforum, it was great because new people would wander in, introduce themselves, and start connecting—some stuck around, others didn't. But that dynamic is gone now. It's not like we're some super exclusive, tight-knit clique or anything.

mistywolf17 said:I'm sorry, but most people don't really participate. In fact, Amanda James27 is probably the one most active on this sub-forum. As for everyone else, some might leave maybe 5 to 10 posts a month, while others don't post anything at all outside of the chat.

Regarding moderating a chat, it would take me several hours a day to monitor it properly. Do you really think any of the moderators have that kind of time or even want to spend it that way? 😕 But that's not really the point right now, because those chats aren't very productive anyway.
Like I've mentioned before, I think a themed chat would actually make sense.

Go ahead and open a themed chat, but personally, I think the US needs more of those off-topic spaces where lonely people can just hang out and talk about random stuff with like-minded folks.
Let's keep the main threads reserved for constructive discussions and actual problem-solving.
That's my philosophy on quality.
I don't know how you all define "quality," but it shouldn't be measured by raw post counts. My contribution of 10 posts a month still counts as being part of the community; I feel like my posts hit the mark, and I've never once been flagged or penalized for anything I've written in other threads.

Brandon Castillo4 said:The thing is, we were all discussing various topics, everyone had their own ideas, but the final call was to set things up this way.

The issue with the US subforum was that it had too many chat threads. Over time, it turned into this weird mix of the closed-off USPSD crew and those pathetic "woe is me, I'm at rock bottom and lonely" threads.

We decided to break those patterns. As for the threads, right now the US doesn't have a dedicated chat thread; it has a flamethrower thread that isn't meant for discussion, and the music threads are going to be closed because they are hands-down the most idiotic threads ever—people just dumping songs they listen to. There's an NP thread over in Music for that.

Second thing. Listen, guys, I don't have anything against you, but let's be real: I don't know most of you. Some I know, some are great friends, but you aren't really part of the US crowd. You get what I mean? You don't actually post on the US subforum; you just hang out inside your own little chat threads and couldn't care less about anything else. And hey, that's fine—nobody should do something they don't want to do—but why fight so hard to keep everything exactly where it is? Just so it stays at the top of the forum index? I don't see the point. If you aren't even posting there anyway.

Most of the other subforums have chat threads for people who ACTUALLY participate in discussions. In my opinion, maybe 3% of the people in those threads actually engage in the main discussions; the rest are just there for the chat.

And that's perfectly fine, I'm all for you guys messing around, but why does it HAVE to be under the US section when the US section clearly doesn't matter to you?

Look, I participate, and plenty of other people do too, but isn't it just common sense that I'll end up posting more in the chat topic than anywhere else?
I post whenever I actually have something to say. Usually, I'll read through an entire thread only to find that everyone is just repeating what was already said on the first few pages—it basically turns into endless bickering and nonsense. Does it really make sense to jump into those discussions just to claim I'm a member of the US?
Sorry, but I'd much rather keep the casual chat in the chat topic. On the other threads, I prefer to write only when I feel like I can actually add some real value or bring something new to the table.
To me, that feels way better than cluttering up every single thread with off-topic chatter, repeating the same point five times over, or turning everything into a giant complaining match or an argument.

My advice? Just open a dedicated chat topic and moderate it properly, then keep the other threads focused. Because let's be real: the US needs a space for chatting much more than it needs it scattered across every random PDF thread.

Edit: More people have met up and made real-life friends through finger than they have across the rest of the sub-forum combined, whether it's IRL or via VL. Every day, someone new shows up, stays, or moves on. Without the chat, that community spirit just won't exist anymore.

mistywolf17 said:A whim? Forgive me, but I have been very actively moderating US for over a year now, so I am extremely well-acquainted with the situation. The explanation is simple: on US, a chat doesn't make sense unless it stays on-topic. These chats aren't doing that. It is similar on ŽuD.
Explain to me what the purpose of a chat would be for US if it's filled with people who hardly ever even visit the subforum.

The purpose of a subforum isn't to provide a chat. A chat doesn't define the quality of a subforum. For a subforum to be high-quality, the threads themselves must be high-quality. Something you might notice lately if you actually stepped out of the chat and looked at what is happening on the subforum.

Take the Soccer subforum and its Offtopic chat, for example. Since you keep bringing up how many people met on Finger, do you honestly think they didn't meet there? Don't be ridiculous.
The difference is that the people there are active participants in that specific subforum; they are what make it what it is. That isn't the case on US.
I suspect if I were to pull one constructive post from any of you on this subforum from the last month that wasn't made in the chat, the results would be quite interesting. 😉

You can view this as a reorganization of the subforum intended to raise the overall quality. Currently, the chats just don't fit into that goal.

I stay updated on all the other threads. If I don't post in them or repeat things that were already said in the first three pages, that’s my own fault for actually reading the whole discussion! Because on US, most threads basically boil down to just repeating what’s already been stated.

mistywolf17 said:A whim? Forgive me, but I have been very actively moderating US for over a year now, so I am extremely well-acquainted with the situation. The explanation is simple: on US, a chat doesn't make sense unless it stays on-topic. These chats aren't doing that. It is similar on ŽuD.
Explain to me what the purpose of a chat would be for US if it's filled with people who hardly ever even visit the subforum.

The purpose of a subforum isn't to provide a chat. A chat doesn't define the quality of a subforum. For a subforum to be high-quality, the threads themselves must be high-quality. Something you might notice lately if you actually stepped out of the chat and looked at what is happening on the subforum.

Take the Soccer subforum and its Offtopic chat, for example. Since you keep bringing up how many people met on Finger, do you honestly think they didn't meet there? Don't be ridiculous.
The difference is that the people there are active participants in that specific subforum; they are what make it what it is. That isn't the case on US.
I suspect if I were to pull one constructive post from any of you on this subforum from the last month that wasn't made in the chat, the results would be quite interesting. 😉

You can view this as a reorganization of the subforum intended to raise the overall quality. Currently, the chats just don't fit into that goal.

With all due respect, a lot of those threads aren't any higher in quality than the chat itself. Honestly, they're often worse.
Take any thread, read the first three or four pages, and everything after that is nothing but pure spam and repetitive nonsense.
And don't even get me started on the threads that are basically identical, or the ones meant just to mock an ad, entertain the crowd, or see who can win a contest of swearing, whining, and complaining about the same problem—even when someone else posted that exact issue just three threads down, or you're repeating a problem you already brought up on two other subforums.
Yeah, sure, it's "interesting" to me too, but after two pages, you catch onto the joke and that kind of humor just gets exhausting.
If that's what we're calling "quality," then we clearly have different definitions of the word.
And yeah, the chat hasn't exactly been top-tier either, but that's because you guys haven't put your finger on the pulse to fix it.

mistywolf17 said:A whim? Forgive me, but I have been very actively moderating US for over a year now, so I am extremely well-acquainted with the situation. The explanation is simple: on US, a chat doesn't make sense unless it stays on-topic. These chats aren't doing that. It is similar on ŽuD.
Explain to me what the purpose of a chat would be for US if it's filled with people who hardly ever even visit the subforum.

The purpose of a subforum isn't to provide a chat. A chat doesn't define the quality of a subforum. For a subforum to be high-quality, the threads themselves must be high-quality. Something you might notice lately if you actually stepped out of the chat and looked at what is happening on the subforum.

Take the Soccer subforum and its Offtopic chat, for example. Since you keep bringing up how many people met on Finger, do you honestly think they didn't meet there? Don't be ridiculous.
The difference is that the people there are active participants in that specific subforum; they are what make it what it is. That isn't the case on US.
I suspect if I were to pull one constructive post from any of you on this subforum from the last month that wasn't made in the chat, the results would be quite interesting. 😉

You can view this as a reorganization of the subforum intended to raise the overall quality. Currently, the chats just don't fit into that goal.

Sorry, but of course I'm going to have more posts in the chat than in other threads. It's because on the other threads, I try to avoid the chat style and write as constructively as possible. I read the entire thread and then I write what I have to say; I have zero intention of repeating myself a hundred times.

I’m leaving the chat right here in the chat, and honestly, your logic regarding deleting it while allowing it in other threads makes absolutely zero sense to me—especially when you look at the subforum title and the kind of people who hang out here.
The whole point of having a dedicated chat in a specific subforum is to keep it away from all the other topics. That’s how you actually raise the quality of the board.
And given what this subforum is called, it would be a great idea to just keep one single chat thread in one spot; that way, if anyone wants to hang out and talk with some lonely folks, they have a place to do it.
I think you guys are just missing my point, that's all.
It doesn't matter whether I personally join in or if this crew from Finger or USPSD participates; the bottom line is that it needs to exist there so we don't have random chatter cluttering up every other thread.

mistywolf17 said:A whim? Forgive me, but I have been very actively moderating US for over a year now, so I am extremely well-acquainted with the situation. The explanation is simple: on US, a chat doesn't make sense unless it stays on-topic. These chats aren't doing that. It is similar on ŽuD.
Explain to me what the purpose of a chat would be for US if it's filled with people who hardly ever even visit the subforum.

The purpose of a subforum isn't to provide a chat. A chat doesn't define the quality of a subforum. For a subforum to be high-quality, the threads themselves must be high-quality. Something you might notice lately if you actually stepped out of the chat and looked at what is happening on the subforum.

Take the Soccer subforum and its Offtopic chat, for example. Since you keep bringing up how many people met on Finger, do you honestly think they didn't meet there? Don't be ridiculous.
The difference is that the people there are active participants in that specific subforum; they are what make it what it is. That isn't the case on US.
I suspect if I were to pull one constructive post from any of you on this subforum from the last month that wasn't made in the chat, the results would be quite interesting. 😉

You can view this as a reorganization of the subforum intended to raise the overall quality. Currently, the chats just don't fit into that goal.

I've laid out my vision for improving quality above, because frankly, I think this decision was made without much thought. 🤷

brightridge59 said:Do you really think the other people joining the US isn't lonely?
And is the chat truly the best or only way to meet and socialize?

The whole intention here is to make the subforum a much more constructive environment.
Chatting happens everywhere, practically within almost every thread, provided it contributes to a productive discussion. That's a perfectly normal occurrence, and frankly, we even encourage it ourselves. 😬

Have you perhaps had a chance to look over the rules? There's a reason why someone might get a warning just for posting a single smiley face or for putting something in their 'signature.'

For those users who have become close friends through chatting, there is a dedicated subforum where they can continue to socialize. There's also private messaging. There are all sorts of ways to build connections without it being solely about padding your post count.

Besides, the way things are set up, it encourages users to step outside their specific chat topics and wander over to other subforums. I won't even mention how peculiar it is to see people who NEVER post anywhere else except within a specific chat topic on one particular subforum. 🙄

Not necessarily the only one—honestly, probably the best way to handle it. It’s actually superior to other methods because staying in constant communication with someone really helps you bridge that gap and get closer to them. That’s especially true when you're hanging out in this particular subforum.

brightridge59 said:Do you really think the other people joining the US isn't lonely?
And is the chat truly the best or only way to meet and socialize?

The whole intention here is to make the subforum a much more constructive environment.
Chatting happens everywhere, practically within almost every thread, provided it contributes to a productive discussion. That's a perfectly normal occurrence, and frankly, we even encourage it ourselves. 😬

Have you perhaps had a chance to look over the rules? There's a reason why someone might get a warning just for posting a single smiley face or for putting something in their 'signature.'

For those users who have become close friends through chatting, there is a dedicated subforum where they can continue to socialize. There's also private messaging. There are all sorts of ways to build connections without it being solely about padding your post count.

Besides, the way things are set up, it encourages users to step outside their specific chat topics and wander over to other subforums. I won't even mention how peculiar it is to see people who NEVER post anywhere else except within a specific chat topic on one particular subforum. 🙄

I feel like everyone might be missing the forest for the trees here. Don't get me wrong, I totally get what you were trying to achieve with this move—the intention is solid—but honestly, shutting down the chat on a sub-forum like this? That feels like a massive misstep. It’s like taking away the water cooler in an office just because you want fewer distractions; you might get some focus, but you lose the soul of the community in the process.

brightridge59 said:Do you really think the other people joining the US isn't lonely?
And is the chat truly the best or only way to meet and socialize?

The whole intention here is to make the subforum a much more constructive environment.
Chatting happens everywhere, practically within almost every thread, provided it contributes to a productive discussion. That's a perfectly normal occurrence, and frankly, we even encourage it ourselves. 😬

Have you perhaps had a chance to look over the rules? There's a reason why someone might get a warning just for posting a single smiley face or for putting something in their 'signature.'

For those users who have become close friends through chatting, there is a dedicated subforum where they can continue to socialize. There's also private messaging. There are all sorts of ways to build connections without it being solely about padding your post count.

Besides, the way things are set up, it encourages users to step outside their specific chat topics and wander over to other subforums. I won't even mention how peculiar it is to see people who NEVER post anywhere else except within a specific chat topic on one particular subforum. 🙄

Yeah, so what was stopping you guys from sharing them?
There would definitely be fewer of them around.
Honestly, getting all worked up just because someone asked you to moderate when the rest of the chat crew was actually looking for it? There’s really no more graceful way to brush those chatters off than by just letting them drift away on their own.

brightridge59 said:Do you really think the other people joining the US isn't lonely?
And is the chat truly the best or only way to meet and socialize?

The whole intention here is to make the subforum a much more constructive environment.
Chatting happens everywhere, practically within almost every thread, provided it contributes to a productive discussion. That's a perfectly normal occurrence, and frankly, we even encourage it ourselves. 😬

Have you perhaps had a chance to look over the rules? There's a reason why someone might get a warning just for posting a single smiley face or for putting something in their 'signature.'

For those users who have become close friends through chatting, there is a dedicated subforum where they can continue to socialize. There's also private messaging. There are all sorts of ways to build connections without it being solely about padding your post count.

Besides, the way things are set up, it encourages users to step outside their specific chat topics and wander over to other subforums. I won't even mention how peculiar it is to see people who NEVER post anywhere else except within a specific chat topic on one particular subforum. 🙄

Yeah, but how exactly are you supposed to actually become friends just by hanging out in the comment sections?
So, here’s the deal: before I started interacting with Finger, I only ever hung out in specific threads. I couldn't stand the constant noise over on the main feed, so I stuck to writing constructive posts exclusively. In two whole years, I didn't get hit with a single warning or anything like that—my record was spotless. During that time, I actually managed to get to know two people quite well.
In just a single month of hanging out in the chat, I’ve actually managed to get to know about a dozen different people on a much deeper level!
Honestly, you guys don't need a chat here at all. Not one bit. This sub is specifically for lonely people looking for connection, and adding a live chat just ruins that whole vibe.
🤦

brightridge59 said:Do you really think the other people joining the US isn't lonely?
And is the chat truly the best or only way to meet and socialize?

The whole intention here is to make the subforum a much more constructive environment.
Chatting happens everywhere, practically within almost every thread, provided it contributes to a productive discussion. That's a perfectly normal occurrence, and frankly, we even encourage it ourselves. 😬

Have you perhaps had a chance to look over the rules? There's a reason why someone might get a warning just for posting a single smiley face or for putting something in their 'signature.'

For those users who have become close friends through chatting, there is a dedicated subforum where they can continue to socialize. There's also private messaging. There are all sorts of ways to build connections without it being solely about padding your post count.

Besides, the way things are set up, it encourages users to step outside their specific chat topics and wander over to other subforums. I won't even mention how peculiar it is to see people who NEVER post anywhere else except within a specific chat topic on one particular subforum. 🙄

Regarding that last point—before I joined the chat, I had already put out about 200 posts, and honestly, every single one of them was constructive and actually stayed on topic. But looking back at the whole experience? It’s kind of funny, really. Despite all that interaction, who did I actually meet? Practically nobody.
I met a whole bunch of people on the chat!
Wait, I’m trying to wrap my head around this—where exactly is the logic in that? How is everyone supposed to actually get to know one another better through this?
It’s starting to drop on my end.
If my post count is getting on your nerves, feel free to just clear out the old chats. As far as I'm concerned, I'd much rather keep things low-key and stick to as few posts as possible.
If the spam in the chat is bothering you, then do your jobs and moderate it! Honestly, the only reason the chat has spiraled completely out of control is because you moderators haven't been doing your actual work—it’s really that simple.

Brandon Castillo4 said:So they won't let you move threads over to DiK? What a joke of a decision. 😁 Personally, I think putting them on DiK makes the most sense.

Alright, let me put you on the spot here—hopefully, you can give me a response that actually holds water.
What is the actual logic behind not having a chat on a subforum specifically titled "Lonely Hearts"?
I mean, I could wrap my head around them not having a chat in some random PDF section, but we're talking about a subforum where lonely people gather, likely with the intention of meeting someone—even just virtually through conversation—rather than just posting on threads or leaving classified ads.
It just doesn't click for me, especially given the explanation from mistywolf17. Honestly, I'm surprised she even tried to frame that as logical; to me, it feels like nothing more than a whim, which isn't how she usually comes across on this forum.
If the concern was the chat drifting in an unwanted direction, then the solution should have been to moderate it.

mistywolf17 said:I guess you should just read through my previous posts. If it still doesn't make sense after that, then I'm sorry, but I can't help you.

The thing is, they don't allow chats on DiK because basically every thread there turns into a chat anyway.

Well, you might as well have sent it. Maybe send it to another one too, just to be safe. I doubt they would have even noticed this thread without you.

Seriously, the logic being used here is just straight-up ridiculous—it’s like something out of Monty Python. 🤣
Take a second to actually process my question and give me a real answer, because saying "this is how I imagined the chat, but it turned out differently, people complained, and I just don't feel like moderating it" is a total non-answer.
It's especially wild considering the subforum description literally includes the word "lonely."🤦

Can someone please walk me through the logic here? Why is it that the Lonely hearts subforum doesn't need social chats, yet every other subforum does?
Saying "because we decided so" is, quite frankly, a pretty ridiculous explanation.

Jessica Watson4 said:Is there any way I can change my username to "Jessica Watson4"? Thanks!

You sure can. Just reach out to mellowraven22 and they'll get you sorted.

I actually tried sending a DM to mellowraven22, but I got hit with this error message:
"The recipient has opted out of receiving private messages or does not have permission to receive them. As a result, your message could not be delivered.

If you were attempting to message several people at once, please remove mellowraven22 from the list and try sending it again."

Let me look into that and I'll get back to you...

Is there any way I can change my username to "Jessica Watson4"? Thanks!

You sure can. Just reach out to mellowraven22 and they'll get you sorted.