Christian Doyle84 said:Sadly, yeah. I keep getting haunted by this hope that it'll all just vanish on its own whenever I catch a glimpse of my old self—if you know what I mean. I wouldn't even call it a remission; it feels more like I'm time traveling and suddenly remembering who I actually was. There are moments where I feel totally normal, and I find myself praying to God that it lasts, but then things always take a turn for the worse. It's so hard to stay grounded and live in the moment. And don't even get me started on how much it sucks having zero motivation; I just want to sleep all day, but then I wake up and I'm still not rested enough to actually be productive. I guess I only get maybe five hours a day where I can actually function like I used to... the rest is just a blur. Everything is such a grueling process of procrastination. I don't have that old "just do it" energy anymore; instead, I have this entire internal debate just trying to tackle basic daily tasks. It's pathetic. And then people tell you, "Oh, you just need to love yourself." Like, seriously?🙂🕺
Just like I told Annmarie before she went quiet on me, I’ll tell you too: just be. I suppose I’ve always been a bit of a patient soul, though sometimes I wonder if that’s just a polite way of saying I’m a little too slow to react when things get hectic. It’s a quiet kind of temperament, I guess—just taking things as they come and waiting for the dust to settle before making any big moves. It looks like you might have hit "send" a little too early there! I'm ready whenever you are—just drop the text you want me to work on, and I'll get started on reshaping it for you. I suppose I should probably admit that I can be a little bit stubborn at times. It’s one of those traits that I tend to lean into without even realizing it, almost like an old habit I haven't quite managed to shake off yet. I know there are moments when a more flexible approach might serve me better, but I often find myself digging my heels in just a little too firmly. It isn't exactly intentional, mind you; I think I just have this tendency to stick to my guns once I've made up my mind about something.One step at a time, day by day.
My doctor explained it to me this way: you have Phase A, which is the period leading up to a psychotic episode; then there's Phase B, when the actual episode is happening; and finally, Phase C, the recovery phase. The catch is that you can't really go back to Phase A. That doesn't mean Phase C has to be any worse than where I started, though—it’s just a different way of existing. Honestly, I feel like I’m functioning quite well right now, and I actually feel much better than I did during my traumatic childhood, which was likely the trigger that turned a genetic predisposition for schizophrenia into an official F20 diagnosis.
cosmicdriver42 said:Hey Harold Anderson3, do you have a driver's license? Just curious what kind of restrictions were put on it if you do... I deal with psychosis too, but we're both on Abilify, which is honestly the best antipsychotic I've tried so far... 👍 What dose of Azolar are you on?
I actually don't have a license; I eventually just decided to let that go.
I'm on a monthly 400 mg injection (Abilify Maintena).
shadowraven29 said:Do you people ever stop to think about what happens once your parents pass away? I read about this guy who took his own life. He had a schizophrenia diagnosis and spent some time in a psychiatric facility. He was terrified that if his parents died, he’d be shoved straight back into a psych ward, and death started looking like a much better alternative.
Is there even a chance of inheriting a family pension or social security benefits? Or maybe, if things improve and I regain my ability to work, I could just flee to some more humane country where we're actually treated like human beings.
Back when I had an incident—just a minor misdemeanor, really—two years ago, the police hauled me off to a psych ward in Cleveland. I still have nightmares about it. I live in constant fear that they’ll drag me back there again, all because I was an idiot and handed my discharge papers to my primary care doctor—which I was told to do—only to then hand them over to the police for inspection. I didn't even have to do that. I guess I shouldn't have.
To be blunt, my legal and human rights were blatantly violated, and the conditions in that place were subhuman.
Even for me, death seems like a better option than being locked up in a facility like that.
We seriously need to address this.
I didn't really have anyone to lean on growing up within my own family—my mom struggles with an even more severe case of schizophrenia than I do, and my dad just lacks any real understanding of the challenges we face—but I was lucky enough to find a wonderful doctor who stepped up and became that vital support system I so desperately needed. Recently, though, I made the decision to switch providers, mostly because I don't want to become overly dependent on anyone, not even her.
Christian Doyle84 said:I’ve been pairing mine with xanax for over a year now, and honestly, it's only just recently started feeling like it's actually working better for me than anything else... I don't know what the catch is, though. Every time my mental state finally starts looking up, something always seems to trip me up. I guess I'm just searching for that magic formula to actually make it stick, hehe..
There really isn't such a thing as a magic formula, because let's face it, those occasional setbacks are just part of the deal. I've been living with F20.0 for 11 years now, and even though I stay pretty disciplined with my meds, I've still dealt with a few mild psychotic episodes and countless depressive ones. Even the most mentally resilient people experience certain fluctuations in how they function. For me, the real goal is just fine-tuning the treatment so that those rough patches aren't quite as intense or frequent.
I honestly think Abilify is a fantastic medication. It was introduced just a few years back as one of those first third-generation antipsychotics, and it really changed the game. It treats schizophrenia without that heavy, mood-crushing side effect you get from almost all the older drugs. My only gripe is that it doesn't quite tackle everything on its own, so I end up taking it alongside my Lexapro to keep things balanced.
Megan Hall3 said:Hi everyone. My name is Mary. I’m looking for some help here. It feels like I’m completely alone in this struggle—dealing with schizophrenia. I have diagnoses of F20.0, F21, and I47. I’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation and have been on medication since I was twelve years old. I try so hard to push those thoughts away, but they just won't leave me alone. I hear voices, and I see shadows. The voices... they tell me to jump out the window. Part of me just wants to die on my own terms. In the past, whenever I lost control over those impulses, I ended up being hospitalized. This all traces back to when I was only six; I saw the ghost of a woman. I’ve always been withdrawn and shy. Honestly, I’m terrified of people. I feel like they can read my mind, that they're gossiping about me or even casting curses. I even feel like there are cameras hidden all over my room. Most days, I just stay in bed because I have zero willpower left. It’s like I’ve just vanished from the world. I didn't want anyone to know all of this. But they found out. Now, I have legal guardians. I don't have any friends, and as for having a boyfriend... well, let's just say that isn't happening. I have a partial disability regarding my ability to work. I simply can't hold down a job. I feel such a deep sense of shame. I'm young, yet I can't work, I can't date, and I don't have friends. I am just... alone. How do you all manage to cope with everything?
First and foremost, the most important step is working closely with a psychiatrist to figure out the right medication regimen. It’s honestly not as straightforward as people think. While there’s a huge variety of antipsychotics available today to treat schizophrenia, they certainly don't work the same way for everyone. It can be quite a process of trial and error, but the goal is always to find that one specific option that clicks, allowing someone to get back to a place where they can function reasonably well in their daily life. Some people really do need to combine different antipsychotics to get things balanced out, and in my case, that’s exactly how it works—I’m currently taking two different medications, Seroquel and Zyprexa, just to stay steady. There’s really no reason to feel ashamed of what you're going through. If I could offer one small piece of advice, it would be to try shifting your perspective toward finding every possible way to support yourself. Honestly, people who haven't had to deal with these kinds of challenges might actually look at you with a lot of respect, seeing how much strength it takes to navigate life while managing a diagnosis like yours.
It’s a little difficult for me to offer specific advice since we haven't really had the chance to get to know one another yet, but please believe me when I say that every single one of the hurdles you're facing can be cleared if you just stay persistent and keep your patience. Hang in there.🙂
Nicole Barrett76 said:Rebecca Rivera3, it truly warms my heart to hear that you are feeling better. Please, do take a moment to celebrate this small victory! If we find ourselves unable to achieve massive milestones during certain seasons of our lives, shouldn't we find contentment in the smaller successes? We must never give up, nor should we ever stop striving toward those greater victories ahead.
It honestly blows my mind how she’s managing to fight through two heavy diagnoses all at once.
I’m personally dealing with schizophrenia alongside some pretty intense depression, but my long-term psychiatrist has often pointed out that most of her patients don't have nearly as chaotic a home life or family dynamic as I do.
When a mental health struggle is directly tied to a difficult social or economic situation within a household, it falls under what's known as social psychiatry.
But, I’m hanging in there; I’m working, taking care of my mom, and honestly, I just don't have the bandwidth for anything beyond that right now.
@ Rebecca Rivera3, maybe try to just take a breath and enjoy where you are right now, rather than constantly obsessing over setting these new goals that you either can or can't reach—it won't actually make you happy because there will always be something else on the horizon.
Winning a Nobel Prize, an Olympic gold medal, or seeing your name pop up on a Forbes billionaire list are all incredible ambitions, but the reality is that they aren't attainable for everyone. The same logic applies to things like finishing college, earning a PhD, or completing a specialized residency after graduation.
Kyle Nelson2 said:So, you're thinking about borrowing money from someone just to cover you until the month is up?
Look, if you're in construction, there's plenty of work coming up in the next month, whether it's over in Chicago or down on the coast... and with that new site opening up in Austria on July 1st, there’s bound to be even better paying gigs available.
They went ahead and pushed my plans back on me again. $667 I have my Diners Club bill coming due in exactly a month, and I’m looking at a $1,000 balance that needs to be cleared, followed by another $1,000 in two months, all without any extra interest kicking in. I decided against opting for that credit moratorium option since I really didn't want to deal with those pesky added fees. At this point, I think the best thing to do is just take this as a lesson learned and try to be a bit more disciplined across the board.
fadedorca66 said:Maybe look into consolidating those three loans into one single payment, plus all that credit card debt. I guess there might be some options for loan deferment too, so it's probably worth asking about.
rowdyotter12 said:So, he mentions in his initial post that he’s landed a new gig. Now, the million-dollar question—what's the actual salary?!?! Honestly, I’m completely lost at this point.
I ended up staying for three weeks before deciding to hand in my resignation. It just wasn't the right fit for me, and to be perfectly honest, some health issues I've been dealing with flared up quite a bit due to all the stress I've been under lately—plus, the pay wasn't exactly anything to write home about.
By the way... I’ve got enough saved to cover myself for maybe another month or two, but in the meantime, I really need to find a more permanent solution to my current situation. I'm juggling three different loans right now, totaling just under $1,200 a month, and they're set to run for about five years. The ideal fix would be landing a steady, long-term job where the pay is $1667 at least decent. I actually had a role like that—even better, honestly—for the last two years, but thanks to this recent economic downturn, I'm back on the hunt for something new.
rowdyotter12 said:Look, if you’re truly in a bind and need $667 by next month—and I mean you genuinely don't have the funds lined up—and you're facing issues covering various extra expenses or fees, I could potentially lend you the money until you land that new job you mentioned. No interest, no strings attached. Just shoot me a DM.
🙂 No thanks, I'm all set. Just being myself, I suppose. 🙂
I see some people are just here to troll and mess around, but I guess that’s just how it goes... When I took out my last $40,000 loan $0.00 about three months ago, things weren't exactly booming at my company, but it was just that typical winter slump we always hit in this industry, and I was really banking on a much stronger year ahead. I didn't just blow the money, either; I used it to replace the roof on my house, which honestly might have collapsed on its own if I hadn't stepped up. Then, of course, the pandemic hit, and it basically finished off my business. Since most of our work involves traveling to different sites, all that movement became impossible because of the lockdowns, leaving my boss with no choice but to shut down the whole operation for good. There’s no going back now, so I’m just trying to keep my head up and figure out how to make it through this mess in one piece. Right now, I’m renting an apartment in Washington, D.C., and between the rent and my loan payments, I’m paying about $700 $400 a month. Once you add in the utility bills from my permanent residence outside the city ($200), I’m looking at nearly half of everything my mother and I bring in together. On top of that, credit card interest and various debts are eating up another $1,500-$667. I’ve been picking up extra shifts driving for DoorDash in Washington, but it’s such a crapshoot that you can never really count on a steady paycheck...
rapidskipper12 said:It doesn't matter if you didn't sign up for unemployment. You can request a moratorium once you have your termination notice in hand. Just try to get those payments pushed back for at least three months.
I think I'll give it a shot with Diners Club. My next payment is due at the beginning of next month $667, and honestly, if I could just manage to defer everything for three months, it would be a huge weight off my shoulders.
Thanks so much for getting back to me. The crisis we're facing right now feels like an absolute disaster. It’s been especially hard on my end. My company folded, and since I work in construction, we didn't qualify for any of those government relief programs. Honestly, I managed to land a new job pretty quickly, so I never even bothered signing up for unemployment benefits, but now I'm just trying to find the strength to make it through the next month and a half until that first paycheck actually hits my account. Meanwhile, the bank just keeps pulling fees from my account... and I have to admit, I'm starting to feel a little worn down by it all.
I’ve been sitting down with my calculator lately, trying to get a clear picture of my situation, and I’ve realized I’m looking at a total debt of about 90 $0.00. Roughly 60 $0.00 of that is tied up in loans that wrap up in five years, leaving the remaining to account for overdraft fees and the balances on my credit cards, specifically my Diners Club and Visa. Things really started sliding about two years ago right after I started working. For most of those two years, I was essentially living beyond my means, spending more than I actually brought home, and things hit a breaking point last month when I was laid off due to some restructuring at the office. I managed to land a new job, which is a relief, but I still have to bridge the gap for a month before that first paycheck actually hits my account. Honestly, those credit cards and overdrafts are a nightmare. Once you fall into that cycle of debt, you end up borrowing just to survive, and the interest makes everything grow exponentially. It’s a vicious loop. I’m currently weighing all my options and trying to figure out the best way forward. I've wondered if it makes sense to take out one more loan to consolidate everything—specifically that 30 $0.00 that isn't part of the standard loans—into one single monthly payment. Or, should I look into opening a protected bank account before any potential legal collections kick in? Then there’s the darker thought: do I just wait for the inevitable collections process to start, since I’m honestly not sure how many more months I can keep this going...
I’m looking for some good company for things to do during the Moon cycle.😁 Whether it’s hitting the ice rink, grabbing a coffee, catching a concert, heading to the movies, or just spending a day at the beach—I’m pretty much open to anything. I'm happy to include or skip whatever activities come our way. Just to be crystal clear, I am looking EXCLUSIVELY for friendship. I’m more than happy to hear from both guys and girls, but I want to mention upfront that I am not bisexual, mostly because I’ve had my fair share of unexpected offers sliding into my inbox before. 😁 Cheers,