Maybe you could try finding an outlet for all that suppressed anger—journaling, a hobby, hitting the gym, whatever works—so it stops bleeding into your relationships. It might actually make things feel a bit less heavy with people. What’s your experience been with stuff like that?
amberraven9 said:I’m not quite sure how to kick this conversation off. Maybe I just don't have the right way of approaching this topic... But what if she actually likes things exactly as they are? What if she doesn't see any need for change and is perfectly content with the status quo?
Start by making it about you—tell her you're worried about her and that you're feeling completely burnt out. You need to be very specific about exactly which changes you want to see happen. Then, ask her straight up if she still thinks none of this is an issue, even if things don't stay exactly the same and some adjustments are actually made (you'll have to figure out those specifics yourself and be firm about them). Wrap it up by offering to help. I feel like I've already covered a good chunk of this in my earlier posts.
Take it slow. If she genuinely can't "snap out of it"—meaning we've ruled out habit, laziness, a whim, or just plain apathy—then a professional needs to step in and gauge the severity of the symptoms. But regardless, her own input on what she actually wants is crucial. Finding a solution is about finding a way for both of you to be heard.
Maybe it’s worth starting with a primary care physician to get some baseline testing done. You should probably check if your thyroid is acting up or see if there are other underlying issues like insomnia, weight fluctuations, or blood pressure changes. If you suspect anything related to menopause—especially if you haven't been keeping up with your regular OB-GYN appointments—it would be smart to consult a specialist there too. Once you've ruled out those physical causes, then you can look into antidepressants, talk therapy, or even a referral to a psychiatrist if things really need it. Just follow that kind of logical progression.
amberraven9 said:There were actually times when acquaintances would genuinely join us on our walks. They’d even ask if we wanted to do it again because the company was good. But that never happened. It gets old, constantly reaching out to people who don't bother responding. And now, one of the reasons she isn't considered a friend is because nobody ever calls her either? Makes sense.
Those are what you'd call "mind games." Generally speaking, it's a way to dodge accountability for one's own situation. You could view it as just another symptom of a depressive mood. If they actually put in the work to solve the problem, this should stop.
amberraven9 said:My mom is 51 and she’s had a rough go of it. She isn't working right now. Lately, she’s just completely withdrawn. She doesn't socialize, stays away from her old friends, and rarely leaves the house unless it’s for basic groceries. I try my best to be there for her—to talk, to get her out of the house—but I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually making things worse. It feels like she’s leaning on me so heavily that she doesn't feel the need to connect with anyone else, except for our daily walks. Honestly, it’s becoming a weight on me. I just want her to actually enjoy life again, to see her friends like she used to, and to get out more. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she always has some excuse for why she won't call someone, why she won't grab coffee, or why she can't go out. I don't know if this is just a phase, but it’s been going on for quite a while now. Am I doing something wrong here? Is this behavior even **normal**??
That’s a sign that this isn't actually normal, nor is it a sustainable way to live. Try having a real conversation with her and let her know you're worried. Then, just listen. Find out what she actually needs, how she’s feeling, and how she perceives everything happening right now... From there, try to agree on some small changes together—start tiny and gradually scale up. The goal should be finding ways for both of you to find more fulfillment in life (and everyone defines "fulfillment" differently, so you don't have to agree on what that looks like). If you share any interests, suggest doing them together to get things moving. It’s important to respect her feelings, whatever they may be, because there’s definitely a reason behind this (avoid getting into arguments about who is at fault; that’s a dead end. Just show her you understand). On the flip side, you need to set boundaries to protect yourself from burning out, because being overwhelmed won't fix anything in the long run. You first need to figure out for yourself what you want your own life to look like so you can stand your ground firmly, but without being harsh.
If that’s not enough, or if you feel like you're failing or that it's becoming too much to handle, then professional counseling might be worth considering. Look into some options and try suggesting specific steps by expressing your concern for her happiness. Even so, everything you're doing matters, even when it feels like it isn't working. The more we build ourselves up, the more we can actually help others. Running yourself into the ground helps nobody. Compassionate decisiveness is a better way to go.
I’d recommend starting with her primary care physician. At her age, sometimes these issues are simply hormonal, but that needs to be ruled out along with other possibilities (which goes beyond what we can discuss here).
I honestly think the root of all this is just how you view yourself. It’s fueling that fear of messing up and that constant, nagging feeling that everyone is judging your every move.
Can you get into psychotherapy through your insurance? Like, for free? You could try reaching out to the Mayo Clinic or maybe a private practice like Kaiser Permanente. Both usually require an appointment, so your best bet is to just call them or check in with your primary care doctor first. Don't drop out of college. Once you're out of this depressive funk, you'll probably regret it because your whole perspective on reality is going to shift. You can always make a conscious, adult decision to quit later, but trying to crawl back in is a much harder climb. Just do what you can for now and find a therapist. That’s my two cents.
Honestly, looking at this thread—it’s just bad. I won't sugarcoat it. If you have clear epilepsy symptoms, you see a neurologist. It's that simple. These symptoms are just as unmistakable, so go see a psychiatrist. Any one will do, but sooner rather than later is better. Depression is a legitimate illness, plain and simple. It isn't some character flaw or a trick of the mind; it's a medical condition. That’s exactly why you can't just "snap out of it"—not by going for a run or doing some deep soul-searching about the stages of life. You treat it with a doctor, just like you'd treat meningitis or diabetes (which, by the way, affect everyone from pro athletes to great thinkers).
I’m not here to get dragged into an argument. My response is primarily for the original poster, along with anyone else who actually finds this information useful. (As for the trolls? I'm not playing that game!)
It’s entirely possible this is all psychological—that kind of stuff happens more often than you'd think. But you really should run it by your doctor. Whether it's your psychiatrist or just your primary care physician, you need to loop them in. Honestly, if you don't tell them what's going on, how are they supposed to treat you correctly?
crimsonhound80 said:I mean, look—if we're talking about the actual foundation of treating panic attacks, you’ve got things like Xanax, Ativan, or whatever other benzodiazepines they're handing out these days... I guess it really depends on what the doctor thinks is best, though I always feel like there's so much guesswork involved in these prescriptions. 😁 It’ll probably help you drift off, too—since, I mean, that's basically what all benzodiazepines do, isn't it? It's one of their core properties, after all.
So, look—if your primary diagnosis is Panic Disorder, I don't think a specialist is going to just throw Xanax at you alongside something like Normabal. It doesn't really make sense, I guess. If you’re actually struggling with serious sleep issues, they’d probably lean toward something like Sanval instead—since that stuff hits those hypnotic receptors a bit harder, if you know what I mean. 😍
It all depends on which type of sleep issue we're talking about. Lunesta or Sonata work well if you have trouble falling asleep. If you're waking up too early, something like Trazodone might be better.
Even Paxil could be an option for panic disorder. That way, you avoid getting hooked on Alprazolam entirely. It really comes down to assessing things on a case-by-case basis. Personally, I’m terrified by how many patients end up in a cycle of chronic use and develop a dependency. Very few people have the discipline to not use them for more than three or four weeks. Sadly, they seem to be the most overprescribed drugs out there, and that’s nowhere near how they were intended to be used. Anyone have any experiences with this?
mistyranger42 said:And honestly, some people just lack the social skills or the social intelligence to actually build and keep connections... or they're just boring, I guess.
So, do you actually know what a vulnerable personality structure is?
Some people try to make contact with others, but it doesn't really work out for them...
There’s actually a lot more of that than people realize. I mean, do you have even one close friend you actually feel okay with? I doubt anyone can actually have ten true friends. Maybe you know a dozen people, but those are usually just surface-level things. Real friendship takes so much work and time to build, so it seems kind of crazy to think someone has ten actual best friends. If you don't have a pet yet, maybe get one? Pets help lower stress and just make life better, I think. A turtle, a bird, or a rabbit isn't that hard to take care of, but they give back so much.🙂 I have this really stubborn rabbit.😍 But, I guess, hanging out with an animal shouldn't be seen as a total replacement for being around people. The bond with an animal is just... it's totally different from a bond with another person.
Now this caught me off guard! 😲 I actually have a ton of true friends. 🙂 Sure, I put a lot of work into them, but it’s not some impossible task. It's definitely doable. Plus, I have a dog, and we're basically best buddies!!! 👋
Patrick Johnson8, look, I don't think you have some kind of disorder. My take is that you’re just an incredibly sensitive person who lacks certain social skills—maybe you approach people without expecting trust, or you struggle with eye contact... and because of that, you can't quite channel your sensitivity properly. Most people don't know how to handle that, so you end up getting rejected. Your reaction, if you ask me, is just a reaction to that rejection. Since you're actually perfectly fine, you don't need medical treatment; a little bit of optimism would go a long way! Social skills are just muscles you build through practice. Try making eye contact, give someone a smile, and just observe how they react. Just be yourself, no matter how different you feel, as long as you lead with a smile and show a genuine interest in what they have to say. If you still find it difficult, maybe seeing a therapist could help you work through it.
Patrick Johnson8 said:I feel lonely even when I'm surrounded by people. Just... pretty rejected, honestly. And I don't really have the energy to meet anyone new right now. Anyone got any actual advice for this?
You might want to elaborate a bit more on that. Are you dealing with anything else besides this? How long has this been going on? Did it hit you out of nowhere?
People with IBM often have a tendency toward isolation even before any symptoms kick in, and that pattern just carries right through the illness itself. Because of that, I think it makes sense to view the social withdrawal as part of the condition rather than a separate issue. That said, I wouldn't go so far as to say personality alone drives the onset or progression of the disorder. We're talking about a complex, multi-faceted condition here—it's way too deep and serious to be caused simply by someone sitting alone and spiraling over their own thoughts. You can't just "drive yourself crazy" like that. If someone actually believes they are successfully losing their grip on reality, we're likely looking at something else entirely—something milder, more along the lines of neurotic disorders.
It’s an established fact that Jesus existed as a historical figure. He’s mentioned in the monthly reports sent by the governor of Galilee to the Roman Emperor. And honestly, it’s worth pointing out that he wasn't some one-of-a-kind phenomenon back then. Being a messiah was actually quite trendy at the time, and there were plenty of them (kind of like how things are today, if you think about it). Each one had their own dedicated followers and their own "elevated" philosophy, all backed up by various miracles. They were essentially competing with each other to win over disciples. Jesus fought for his influence just like everyone else. In reality, his following was pretty minor at the time. For Christianity to evolve into what we know today, several other movements had to be brutally suppressed, while others merged directly into it—think of the cult of Isis or the Mithraic mysteries. A few hundred years later, a savvy political move was made, and they managed to win over the Roman Emperor himself! That’s when the gospels were finally recorded. That explains why Jesus became so popular while his competitors faded away—though I’m sure they could have told just as captivating allegorical stories if they’d been given the chance! So, it’s all very relative.
hollowtinker18 said:Come on, don't just throw out diagnoses like you're guessing at a coin toss. I mean, if someone thinks they're climbing a fig tree, should we just call them "fig tree sickness"?😁
The person is clearly losing it regardless. We need to figure out if this is just how they're seeing and feeling things...
That’s exactly what I said—delusional. Why? Because there isn't enough actual data to work with, just pure speculation, which is why I made sure to clarify my stance. I don't see what the problem is with that critique. 😕
I think you could argue that Little Red Riding Hood is just a symbol rather than a fully realized person who could actually carry a diagnosis. It’s really just one specific way of looking at things.
Basically, the main symptom would be some kind of mania, but since you can't really pin that down to one specific illness without better data, it’s hard to be objective about it.
Joseph Brooks7 said:Well, I guess if they’re just lying through their teeth, you could look at all sorts of personality disorders, maybe schizophrenia or manic depression, I suppose. But then again... was Jesus actually crazy when he claimed to be the son of God?
The famous psychologist Gary Collins once pointed out that Jesus didn't show any signs of inappropriate emotional responses; he seemed totally grounded in reality, brilliant, and had this incredible insight into people, plus deep, lasting connections with others. He basically concluded, “I just don't see any evidence that Jesus suffered from any known mental illness.” On top of that, Jesus backed up his claim of being the son of God with miracles, showing total control over nature, teaching things that were just unparalleled, having this divine understanding of people, and finally, his resurrection—which, you know, served as the ultimate proof of who he was.
Read more here:
The Gospels aren't historical accounts. How is that supposed to be proof? It’s like if I call myself Keith Jones76, act like Keith Jones76 (whatever that entails), sign my posts as Keith Jones76, and answer to that name—that doesn't prove I'm actually Keith Jones76. It's just an online forum.