Posts by Emily Gonzalez51

Nicholas King said:So, what kind of standard are we actually talking about here? I mean—if an instructor is old and unwell, does that suddenly make it irrelevant whether they’re actually incompetent or simply failing to show up at all? By that logic, our schools basically turn into some sort of charity ward, where students are essentially held hostage by a teacher's medical history.

I suppose you expect a high schooler or a college student to just shrug and say, "Well, you know, my math professor really tried his hardest, even if he was old and sick," and then somehow forgive the fact that the kid still can't add two fractions together?

Can you think of any other profession—especially in the private sector—where people are judged solely on how much they struggle within their own limited capacity rather than the actual quality of the work they produce?

Ugh, you are so exhausting. Just because people are aging or dealing with health issues doesn't mean they're doing a bad job; I specifically wrote that NO ONE had complained about anyone, as far as I know.

Besides, you'll be old one day too, and maybe even sick, so I don't get why you lack even a shred of basic empathy for a situation that is completely unavoidable.

Kate Cox2 said:To start with, maybe some kind of suspension...

If a kid screws up, the parents should be automatically called to come pick them up and take them home immediately. For many people, leaving work is going to be incredibly inconvenient, and then they’re stuck wondering what on earth their child is supposed to be doing for the next seven days while they're barred from school. If nothing else, perhaps that inconvenience might make them actually stop and think about why their child needs to be learning in the first place.

I mean, if you have to get pulled away from your job five, six, or seven times just to go fetch your kid from school, maybe it will finally sink in.🤷(Since, according to American law, children can't be left unsupervised at home until a certain age, a parent either has to stay home with the suspended child or find someone else to watch them.)

I don't know, that’s just the first thing that comes to mind. I’m sure a group of more brilliant minds could come up with much smarter ideas than mine.
But simply writing a warning or a reprimand on a piece of paper doesn't mean anything to these kids (or their parents). That is the only thing schools are allowed to do right now. It's the only sanction available.

And frankly, it's complete nonsense.

Schools must be able to defend themselves against the violent behavior of certain students. There needs to be protection for the other students, the school property, and even the teachers. As a parent, I refuse to send my child to an institution where they might face any form of abuse while the authorities simply stand by and fail to shut such behavior down immediately.

Linda Price5 said:If you’re dodging the question because you want to claim your faculty lounge isn't filled with people who should be banned from being near toddlers—let alone children—then you’re either teaching at a place straight out of Narnia or your standards are incredibly low.

Evading the point and building straw men feels less like an argument and more like a clumsy attempt to cover for problematic colleagues. 😳

My faculty is fairly old. We have plenty of aging and ailing professors who are doing their best. Nobody has specifically complained about anyone, or at least I haven't heard of it.

Nicholas King said:This is simply not the case—you’ve taken what was a relatively benign post about the (lack of) rights held by educators and interpreted it as nothing less than pure hatred toward teachers. It reeks of that uncritical, old-school union solidarity, where people view the entire teaching profession more like a religious dogma than anything else.

Or perhaps you’d care to deny that when you’re sitting in the faculty lounge, you're sharing a table and with the very same kind of people you would probably try to keep at least 50 feet away from children if you had the chance tonight?

Does this sound like you're describing a school staffed by creeps, predators, and lunatics?
From what authority are you speaking? What is your actual role in the American education system? You're clearly just some former student who spent their time causing trouble in class decades ago. 😁

Nicholas King said:Honestly, I’m reading this and just laughing until I cry.

Look, let me be blunt: if you can't wrap your head around this, that's hardly your fault.

Nicholas King As specified by Nicholas King:
There is a massive distinction between saying people aren't breaking a sweat and claiming they’re just sitting around sipping lattes. I don't see any evidence that the public school teachers are slacking off, so I certainly won't go as far as to say they're doing nothing all day.

Tvoj The bottom line is this: we’ve reached a verdict. As a school psychologist, I find myself in complete agreement with this position. The sheer lack of logic in these recent rulings is absolutely staggering. It’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck where nobody bothers to check the tracks..

Compared to psychologists, teachers are absolutely overworked. Five back-to-back 45-minute sessions of intense mental strain will drain a person dry, much like an empty gas tank on a long highway trip.

Nicholas King said:I have to ask—what kind of sample size are you using to back up such an insulting generalization?

Based on more than enough evidence. In every single one of the six schools where I worked as a psychologist, they didn't lift a finger.
And what about you—are you a school psychologist? Please, enlighten me: what exactly is it that you people even do?

Sean Fox said:The whole point of suspending kids from class is this:
Even when they aren't physically in school, they still have to learn all the material. And guess who's stuck doing that? The parents. They'd basically have to take a vacation day just to sit there and tutor their kids through everything. So, the idea isn't to kick kids out so they can just veg out in front of the TV. Obviously, no parent wants that extra work, so they'd actually have to put in some effort with the kids...
People claim this works great over in Europe....
I honestly have no clue how that would fly here in the States, because let's be real, nothing ever works quite right in this country....

At the same time, it limits the influence of a problematic student over their peers, which is also a vital factor.

urbantinker8 said:I, urbantinker8, where is all this sudden animosity toward professors coming from?
Was your own experience in school really that much of a nightmare—like, were they all just completely incompetent, narrow-minded, or somehow actively malicious...?

The psychologists ☕ basically just sit in their offices sipping coffee, and I bet they roll their eyes every single time you drop off a kid who’s been causing chaos for an hour. Then, the moment they hear they actually have to call a parent in for a serious meeting, they’re all like, "Ugh, no, not that crazy mom again." I honestly couldn't believe my ears when I heard that. What a joke.

What is their actual purpose here? Instead of having regular check-ins with problematic students—I'm talking weekly sessions—and organizing behavioral workshops for both kids and parents, they'd rather just sit there doing puzzles with the troublemakers and avoid talking to parents at all costs. 🤷

Susan James said:But what does "cooperation" actually look like to you or the teachers? How exactly would a cooperative parent change the vibe in the classroom? In what way would that actually make your job easier?
Has anyone here actually dealt with a supportive parent who managed to turn things around in class? What did that process look like for you? 🙂

Well, for instance, instead of telling a kid, "Son, study if you feel like it, it's not mandatory," or "Dad will cover for you if you don't want to go to school today," parents should focus on:
1. Developing strong work habits. This means every child needs their own dedicated desk for studying and a set daily routine that includes specific time allocated for learning.

2. Instead of asking, "What grade did you get?", they should ask, "What did you learn today?" and then actually discuss the subject matter (this helps kids realize they aren't just a collection of GPA numbers).

3. For students who struggle, parents need to regularly check their notebooks, because those kids often spend the entire class period doing absolutely nothing.

I haven't dealt with any "problematic" straight-A students.

rowdypanther12 said:🤷
I don't really see how that would be enough to make my parents change how they handle things.
But even if it was, you're still basically giving a kid a free week to just sit around, watch TV, and surf the web—assuming the parents can even keep them in the house long enough to supervise them.🤷

Look, if they get suspended from school twice and then just end up at a boarding school, and even *that* doesn't touch them, then these parents clearly have no clue how to handle their own kids.

rowdypanther12 said:Then again, if parents are already struggling with their child's behavior or frustrated by the discipline, staying home won't exactly be a pleasant experience for them either.
Looking back at my own school days, I honestly wouldn't have minded a week off 🤣 if that was the consequence. If it's just a break from class, I don't really see the point. 🤷
On a more technical note though, where are these kids actually supposed to go? I'm curious about where they stay when they're suspended from school.

Look, most parents simply don't care. Kids act out precisely because their parents fail to step up and get involved. It’s basic logic: when a student is forced to stay home instead of heading to class, they’ll finally have something to think about.

rowdypanther12 said:I don't get the whole temporary suspension thing either, but honestly, expulsion is something kids used to be genuinely afraid of. You lose your friends and have to transfer to a new school where everyone knows you got kicked out of your old one.

And regarding detention centers, I was trying to say that in the past, kids were sent there for things that seem pretty minor compared to what we hear about now.
A friend of mine ended up in a residential program (she just attended school there under supervision) because she was cutting class constantly and showed up to school on a Saturday morning still hungover from Friday night.
From what I understand, the kids placed in those intensive treatment programs are usually the ones involved in serious things like robbery or even homicide.

Temporary suspension is actually an excellent tool; I know they implement it in Austria, and from what I’ve heard recently, even in Germany. It gives a student a moment to actually reflect on their actions instead of just plotting their next move. Furthermore, parents aren't exactly thrilled when their kid gets sent home like that, which certainly doesn't make for a pleasant household environment.

Susan James said:Those detention centers still exist today, and kids are still sent there if the relevant authorities decide it's necessary.
In these facilities, they might undergo observation (diagnosis) and then be referred to a residential treatment center, a group home, or a foster care setting—though they can also stay with their own families.

Not much has changed in the last 20 years.
I'm not quite sure what you meant by that. 🤷

And I still don't understand how threatening a kid who's just being disruptive with expulsion could possibly motivate them to actually show up to school. 🤣
I would actually love for someone to explain that to me. 🙂

I never said sanctions weren't needed, but certain generalized sanctions—which are what usually get proposed—just aren't effective. Applying the same punishment to everyone regardless of context is pointless. It's just as illogical to punish a child who disrupts class by sending them to a residential facility while the parent at home remains unpunished despite being abusive or aggressive. In that scenario, the parent basically gets more free time as a "reward" and doesn't have to worry about providing food or supervision for the child.
To me, that feels incredibly unfair, and it sends a terrible long-term message to both that child and the rest of the student body.
As long as parents don't face consequences for their child's behavior, nothing is going to change.
Legally speaking, for a parent who fails to provide proper upbringing, the current recourse is mostly just removing the child and placing them in state care.

A child might disrupt class for many reasons: maybe the material is too easy, they have gaps in their knowledge, it's too hard due to learning disabilities, or there are major crises happening at home that are more pressing than math homework. It could also be because a teacher is picking on them or another student is bullying them.
Theoretically, you could have five students acting out with the exact same behavior, but each one has a completely different story behind it. I agree that there needs to be a consequence for the behavior to stop and to signal to all kids what is acceptable, but we primarily need to address the underlying issues and provide support for positive behaviors instead.

I certainly hope you aren't suggesting that a child should be left alone with a parent like that.

Charles Murphy6 said:Based on what you've described—your school's guidance department is failing to do its job. What you're recounting is not normal, and if someone were doing this to my child, they wouldn't walk away unscathed.
Speaking from my perspective as a parent: I would call a parent meeting immediately if this was happening in a specific classroom, involving either all the parents in that class or specifically those whose children are being systematically bullied by this boy.
He bullies others because he hasn't learned any other way to get attention, given that he was raised without any real discipline at home; he's essentially nothing. It's tragic. No one has ever truly dealt with this child, so he only knows how to communicate this way, but if my child were the victim in a school setting, I wouldn't just sit there and take it.
An inspection is mandatory if you send them a collective petition or if you parents go directly to the district office with a formal complaint to lay out the problem. You should also contact Child Protective Services since the guidance department has clearly gone deaf and failed to act.
Local power players? I don't care about them. I've personally been in situations where everyone was connected through family ties, and I didn't back down. Not in the school system, perhaps, but within the CPS system. I took it to the state level and won the fight.
That woman over at the Community Center isn't even allowed to look my way anymore, because she absolutely botched her job, and despite being the director's niece, she didn't get any special treatment after what she did—it directly harmed me and my kid during our divorce proceedings.
Anyway, that’s a whole different story... I’m drifting a bit off-topic here.
But listen, you need leverage, and you need it now. You have to be smart, you have to be relentless, and for heaven's sake, you must document everything in writing. If you're going to file a grievance with, say, the Department Head or the school board, do it officially through paper trails and make sure you get a receipt confirming they actually received your complaint. "She said, he said" is useless in these situations. Find others who are feeling the same way, band together, and hit them with it all at once.

Hmm, let’s be real: the inspectors aren't going to go toe-to-toe with local power players; they're too busy protecting their own seats. My take? File the report anyway, but don't hold your breath for any actual progress.

Bully culture isn't some special, vulnerable demographic in need of social services—that's a complete myth. Most of the time, you're just looking at spoiled kids who grew up without a single boundary in their lives.
I remember a thread where parents were complaining about how a preschooler would lash out at their child while Mom was busy on her iPhone. Those same kids are going to end up in the same elementary school as yours one day.
They are simply testing the limits to see where they lie; I suppose it's just human nature. When there are no rules, society starts resembling a lawless wasteland where the biggest bully runs the show.
And sure, bullies "need help"—specifically, they need to be shown, quite firmly, exactly where the line is drawn.

Susan James said:But what is a kid actually supposed to do when they're pulled out of class? Where are they even going? What are they doing during that time? What kind of message are they receiving if their education is cut off for a week.
Don't you think that for a kid who acts out or tries to be "cool" by being disruptive, getting kicked out of class is actually a reward? 🤔

And I'm curious—how is a child supposed to improve by being removed from the classroom? Are they expected to just sit at home meditating, performing deep introspection until they reach some positive epiphany, only to show up back at school with their head bowed, asking for forgiveness? 🤣

One more thing... everyone keeps talking about sanctions (or the lack thereof)... but I’m really interested in this: how do you think we can actually encourage positive behavior if we spend all our energy focusing solely on the negative? 🤔
And honestly, who would actually want to change if they're constantly being threatened with punishments, or worse, if those punishments are the only thing they ever receive? 🤷

Forgive me, but what kind of discipline is actually being enforced here? Our education system is a complete disaster; you have kids in vocational schools smashing benches with boxing gloves and stabbing grasshoppers into the floor. Sure, it's just certain individuals, but what is the response? Nothing. In America, every fourth child is a victim of bullying. http://www.parenting.info/magazine/...america-bullying/ This is exactly where we end up because of a system without any real consequences. And then people act shocked when someone gets jumped in the street. Unfortunately, there will be more cases like Luke Ritzova's.

What does a suspended student do? They likely deal with social services or a psychologist, along with their parents. The message sent is that this behavior makes them unfit for society... yet here, people like that integrate perfectly fine and even become leaders.

Look, even if you were suspended from your job for a week because you messed something up, you wouldn't be celebrating, even if you hated your job.
Or do you honestly think we are any smarter than the Austrians? I highly doubt it. 😬

Jason Ortiz5 said:To be totally honest? I can only tell you what I *wish* I could do when things get this bad: just take the kid away from those idiots before it’s too late. You know, find them a solid family—someone who’ll actually love them, understand them, and respect them. People who lead by example and instill some real values through their actions and their words. (Yeah, yeah, I know... I definitely have a bit of a savior complex going on there...) At the same time, I'm realistic enough to know we live in a pretty messy world, and let's face it, the US isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Happy endings are more like a rare coincidence than a rule.

But at least I'm self-aware enough to know I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. On the flip side, I also know life isn't always perfect and everything isn't under control, so I definitely wouldn't make a good social worker or educator. There. That's my take.

We need actual, actionable proposals for how to handle this. If they can maintain order and discipline in the USA, then we should be able to do it here too. But you have to establish clear rules of conduct, firm boundaries, and real consequences. As long as "discipline" is nothing more than a mild reprimand that everyone ignores—where a teacher's only recourse is to say, "Hey guys, please don't act like hooligans"—nothing is ever going to change.

Jessica Howard5 said:Fine, maybe you're right, but I don't see an actual answer or solution here. What's the plan then? Should parents of bullied kids just teach their own children to become bullies too? I don't get it. Give me a real solution. What are we supposed to do?
Is that how our principal thinks, too? Like, "well, they'll be fine somewhere else"? God, I can't stand that mindset. And don't even get me started on the "toughen them up" crowd—the idea that life is hard so they should just learn to deal with it. Why do kids aged 6 to 14 have to go through this? If they don't learn to avoid being hypocrites, liars, thieves, and frauds now, what kind of bosses are they going to be later? It makes zero sense.
So, is the stance that these victims just need to "toughen up"? If so, maybe we should all just send our kids to school with brass knuckles, and once they're a bit older, buy them a handgun for their waistband so they can really toughen up. This little kid has already "toughened up," and I'm sure he'll be carrying a piece by the time he's grown, just another local thug. He's definitely on the right track.

Look, in the USA, kids like this get suspended. They get sent home for a week, maybe a month. If they don't fix their act, once they return, they're expelled from school entirely. What else do you expect? Here, there are absolutely zero consequences, so of course these things keep happening.

Jessica Howard5 said:Ribež Look, my priority is saving that kid. Moving him to a new environment might be one way to fix this. I’m no expert, so I won’t claim I have the right answer. All I know is that the parents of those seven abused kids are looking at moving them to a different school if things don't change immediately. They just can't let their children endure that torture any longer.
As for the boy, his parents completely dropped the ball. It honestly baffles me because they're intellectuals. Mom is a doctor, and Dad coaches a world-class athlete from Chicago—so he's likely a solid sports mentor. But the kid has been showing behavioral red flags since preschool. In my opinion, both the parents and the system failed him here. You could even link it to social status; his parents have connections and are well-known. I'll say it again: if it were a single mother working at a local factory, people would have reacted "drastically" by now, labeling her an unfit parent and calling it a day. My goal is helping the kid, but like I said, it feels late. He's already too deep in it.
Example 1.
He corners a little girl in front of a huge crowd and tells her how her dad doesn't actually go on business trips, but just rents hotel rooms to cheat on her mom.
Example 2.
He traps another girl in a corner of the classroom, crowds her space, and starts saying creepy stuff about being turned on by her.
Example 3.
He leaves school early and burns the tires off one of the girls' bikes.
Example 4.
He ripped a page out of a boy's math homework because the kid wouldn't write the assignment in his folder during recess.
Example 5.
He and his followers ambush a girl after school, gang up on her, and hit her under the eye with an ice pop, leaving a bruise.
All of this is documented. This has been happening since first grade and it's only getting worse.
What's the move? I'm telling you, the child needs saving ASAP, but does that have to happen at the expense of the other kids?

This kind of chaos happens in pretty much every school district in the country; you aren't some special case. You can move your kids to a different school, but you'll just find another brat pulling the exact same stunts there.