Posts by wiredbadger17

darksurfer4, I honestly can't tell if you're joking or being serious, but even though your initial question actually answered my own, I still find myself wondering.

Since I'm currently between jobs, I’ve been spending way too much time digging through the past and trying to make sense of things. It’s funny—when I actually have something to occupy my mind, I don't give it a second thought and just keep moving. But the moment I stop to dwell on it, the emotions hit me all at once, and I spiral into a pretty depressive headspace. I'm looking for some perspective here because I can't help feeling like if someone like me—someone who’s had to fight their own battles and deal with more than my fair share of life's garbage alone—doesn't deserve to have decent people in their corner, then maybe I just need to accept that. I've made peace with the reality of it, I suppose, but I just can't seem to stop overthinking the whole thing. -.-'

Alright, let's get into it: I’m a highly sensitive person, and back when I was younger, I used to crave people who could offer me emotional support—people who could somehow fill that void I felt. Anyway, the gist is that I wanted special, standout individuals in my life. But whenever I actually approached someone who seemed "special" (you know, someone with that certain spark), they’d just laugh at me in this cruel way. It would wreck me emotionally, so I’d just turn around and walk away. Because those specific people hurt me so badly, I started shutting out everyone else who tried to get close. It became this endless loop. Now, here I am at 30, and even though there are plenty of people—both unique characters and just regular folks—trying to reach out, I just don't feel the need anymore. Looking back, those "special" people don't even seem all that special now. I’ve reached a point where I don't really connect with anyone because, frankly, everyone has started to feel the same to me. I’ve found this sort of inner peace, and as a result, I just ignore anything that drains my emotional energy. Am I handling this the right way?

So, since Halloween is creeping up on us, I was thinking about changing my username to "Jack o ' Lantern" in the next few days if that's possible?

Sure, just leave out the apostrophe. Just reach out to Nicole.

I honestly just have to ask myself one question: if I didn't have a single soul to turn to for advice when my life was actually hitting the fan, why on earth should I feel obligated to go out and find someone to call a friend now? It’s all a bit much.