I know she only just started her sophomore year here, but I heard from some of her old classmates that she really struggled to find her footing back at her first school during freshman year, and even through middle school.
I’ve also heard people say she’s actually a perfectly fine person—it's just that everyone always says the same thing about her: that she's incredibly withdrawn. Look, I don't mean to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but she's young, and it honestly pains me to see someone like that.
Besides, isn't three years plenty of time to finally relax? I went through the whole school-switching thing myself, since my family moved from city to city quite a bit, yet I still managed to chill out and be social.
Maybe she isn't looking for someone to coddle her—in fact, I suspect it’s quite the opposite—she actually wants everyone to just leave her alone, if you ask me.
Hey! I have a question for you all—does anyone have any advice on how to actually read this one classmate of mine?
So, here’s the deal: she transferred into our grade back in sophomore year, and now we’re seniors, yet she still hasn't really talked to a single soul in class. I just don't get it. Even during Spring Break, she wouldn't even move from her seat—she just sits there, staring at her phone, totally withdrawn and quiet.
To be honest, she reminds me of a houseplant—just sitting there, barely existing. A few of us girls were talking about her the other day while she wasn't around, trying to figure out why she's like this, but we're totally stumped.
Have any of you dealt with someone like this before? How did you go about helping them?
P.S. I'm probably losing sleep over this, and I know I'm probably boring you all with my constant threads. But hey, what can I say? Once I get an idea in my head, I'm a total forum addict!
Raymond Wilson4, I sent you a private message—hope you actually get around to reading it. I didn't want to bring up this specific phobia here in the public thread, because, well, I'd rather not have everyone else chiming in on my business, so I reached out privately instead. Since you seem to actually know what you're talking about when it comes to these kinds of things, I figured I'd ask for some advice.
I’m still a bit fuzzy on the whole agoraphobia thing—the idea that they're terrified they won't be able to get out or escape an awkward situation, or that help won't be available even when people are right there.
But from what I've gathered—and I might be misinterpreting this—it seems like even when there isn't a crowd around, it's actually just this fear of open spaces; they're intimidated by that sense of vastness, that massive emptiness. Personally, I get claustrophobia much more than this, but those first folks are truly something else.
Aha! I see where you're going with this. Honestly, I have a massive phobia of insects—especially grasshoppers—and just seeing one in a photo is enough to give me the full-body chills!
As for that dream... if I recall correctly, I felt terrible because I couldn't walk—nobody was stepping up to help, and there was this sense of shame, too...
I don't know; I can't quite pin down the exact emotion.
The dream keeps going, though. This huge monkey starts attacking me—some kind of massive black gorilla. My legs just lose all their strength; he’s charging at me, chasing me down, and suddenly there's a river right in front of me. So, I just threw myself into the water—not to die or anything, just--
What you just wrote actually triggers a memory of this one dream I had once. I was just walking past some coffee shop—people were everywhere, just minding their own business while I was strolling along when, out of nowhere, my legs just completely gave out on me. I’m there, crawling on the ground, and all these people are just staring at me—blankly, coldly—and absolutely nobody is lifting a finger to help.
I honestly can't tell if it was some kind of agoraphobic nightmare or more of a social phobia thing...
You mentioned earlier that people with agoraphobia are terrified because they won't be able to escape following some sudden, incapacitating event. But why would they even need to run? There are plenty of people around here— surely someone would step up to help??
And how much sleep are those folks actually getting—the ones who are afraid of open spaces and being alone? How does that even work?
So, from what I’ve gathered—and correct me if I’m missing the mark here—it seems both groups deal with a certain kind of anxiety regarding people. Am I getting that right?
It’s just that agoraphobics seem terrified of situations where escape isn't an option, whereas social phobics are more worried about being judged by others? Honestly, I’m struggling to wrap my head around the nuance right now..
Essentially, if agoraphobics aren't actually afraid of being judged by others, then why on earth is it so overwhelming for them to be in a crowd? Or is it that they aren't even afraid of the people themselves, but rather it's just pure panic?
I was wondering if anyone here could help me unpack what agoraphobia actually entails.
I mean, I get the textbook definition—it’s the fear of open spaces, but I’m stuck on this specific thought: would someone with agoraphobia still feel that dread if they were out in an open space, say a quiet street, without any people around?
And more importantly—is agoraphobia really just the extreme end of the spectrum for social anxiety? Is there a direct line there?