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Posts by Noah Garcia4

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Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Larry Lewis said:So many people are suffering, and it's always going to be this way. It doesn't actually have anything to do with me, really—though I was taught from the time I was a child that my own skin is more important than a hundred other people's lives... or maybe that's just human nature.

Go to braco, maca, or faca if you want—it won't do you any good unless you trick yourself into thinking it's working, and even then, it'll be short-lived.

Of course the satellite picked you up—it's hard to miss someone walking through the streets with 200,000,000 volts coursing through their skull. 😂

Who am I to pass judgment anyway? I’m just waking up from some golden dream—probably courtesy of the doctor who put me on ECT.
On top of all that, she actually teaches psychiatry over at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. 🤣
So, just a word of advice: you might want to keep your guard up, because you never know when those former students of yours might actually turn into doctors. 😂

I took a deep dive into the history of electroconvulsive therapy, and honestly, looking through that timeline feels a bit like watching a slow-motion train wreck where you can’t quite tell when the brakes were supposed to kick in. It’s one of those medical histories that shifts from being viewed as a terrifying, fringe horror movie trope to a legitimate, albeit controversial, pillar of psychiatric intervention. The early days of shock therapy sound like something straight out of a gothic novel—unrefined, aggressive, and frankly, pretty unsettling by modern standards. You see these massive leaps in technology, moving from those primitive, heavy-handed methods to the much more controlled, precisely administered protocols we recognize today. It’s a classic example of how science often has to stumble through a dark room before it finally finds the light switch. What’s most interesting isn't just the evolution of the hardware, but the shift in how we perceive the patient experience. We went from an era of "let's see what happens" to an era of highly regulated, anesthetic-driven procedures. It’s a sobering reminder that medical progress isn't always a smooth upward curve; sometimes, it's a jagged line marked by trial, error, and a lot of hard-learned lessons about ethics and precision. It makes you wonder how many other "standard" treatments are currently sitting in that same uncomfortable waiting room of historical scrutiny.
Look at that. Just look at it.

The only name that ever really stuck in my head was Paul Coelho. ☕

My light doesn't originate from my intellect; it flows directly from the heart. ☕
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Larry Lewis said:How did I not catch it? It wasn't me who failed to realize that *I* had realized 😂
.
Fine, I am crazy—admittedly so. Though, granted, I'm not exactly the most deranged person on the planet, but there are days when it certainly feels that way.🙂

Who's watching you? The guys over at Exelon?🤣

And now you're probably going to claim that your illness hasn't had any impact on your intellect. 😂

Don't be so naive about being "the craziest in the world." While we're all sitting here messing around on an internet forum, there are people all over the globe actually suffering in psychiatric wards, struggling just to tolerate their medication.
My meds didn't work for me back in the day, so they put me on shock therapy about 16 years ago. I went through six rounds of ECT. Since then, my history on this forum shows that my medications were hit-or-miss, 🙄. Nowadays, they finally seem to be working. In secret, I dabble in holistic healing—I eat clean, I exercise, I use Bach flower remedies, and I'm pretty obsessive about Vitamin C. But I still take my prescriptions every single day. Honestly, I need to head over to braco near the Silverado. I haven't made it out that way yet.🤔

Give me a break; they're tapping my phone, they implanted a chip in my neck while I was in the hospital, and they're monitoring my every move via satellite.😂
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Larry Lewis said:Sometimes I have these little delusions that I’m actually healthy—it’s quite a strange sensation, really—and honestly, I feel like I ought to go find a doctor just to prescribe me some pills to keep the illusion going. Because, let’s be real here—if I’m eventually going to lose my mind, I might as well go out in a blaze of glory and do it properly, right? Either full-blown madness or nothing at all. There is no middle ground in this weary existence.😁

What exactly are you even saying? If you go and get yourself electrocuted—God forbid, though I suppose some people live for that kind of thrill—you’ll end up glowing like a damn Christmas tree. Honestly, the sheer absurdity of the imagery... it's enough to make one lose faith in the modern age.🙂
Look, you’re just trying to light the way for all of us—that's what you're doing—and I know it isn't some selfish grab for attention or anything of the sort. I see right through it. Trust me, I really do.😁

So, let’s get into it—suppose I actually have schizophrenia. What then? What’s the move? People just look at you and say, "Just take your meds, you're crazy, and you'll be stuck like this forever." It’s always the same tired script. They tell me I’m broken, that my brain is permanently off the rails, and they expect me to just accept this new, diminished version of myself as my permanent reality. But I have to ask—how am I supposed to ever be "normal" again if the only solution offered is to chemically lobotomize my very existence? How does one find balance when the cure feels just as hollow as the condition?

It’s always easy for you to just shrug and claim you're crazy. You lean on that tired old trope—the idea that once a madman admits he’s lost his grip, it’s somehow a sign of recovery or some kind of spiritual breakthrough. If you actually believe you aren't unhinged, then you’re definitely off the mark; you’re clearly out of your mind. 😵

I only started posting here with the best of intentions, truly. But then again, I did tell you exactly that. 😛 It’s pretty clear you didn't quite catch my drift. I suppose when you're lacking the mental bandwidth to process something, it's hard to wrap your head around it. 🤣

I honestly didn't realize just how treacherous this forum could be. And if you really want to know, I’ve started feeling like I'm being watched; I've definitely noticed them tracking my every move. 😍🤣😂☕
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Larry Lewis said:Healers? Priests? Give me a break, folks—that stuff is nonsense.

Modern psychiatry, on the other hand, seems to revolve entirely around medication, but at least those drugs provide some level of relief.

If I ever actually "get better"—which, let's be honest, is unlikely—I'll be sure to post here and tell you whether I succeeded or failed. I haven't the slightest clue yet.🙂

Since when did you start hallucinating about a cure? ☕
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Larry Lewis said:I am absolutely wasted—completely and utterly spent—because I had the sheer, unadulterated audacity to mistake a glass of milk for a shot of bourbon. Honestly, what was I thinking? My brain feels like it’s been through a blender.

Don’t go around stealing electricity—it’s just plain wrong.☕

Sometimes I head out late at night to scavenge for power near an ECT station. I’ve already tripped the breaker three times. When I can't get close enough to the grid, I just end up chewing on a rubber tire. Hahaha 🥳
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
You’ve completely blown it, man—was it a total meltdown or just a minor glitch? 🥳
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Larry Lewis said:hahahaha

more like a psychiatric ward 🤣😂
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
The reality is, people just call it a madhouse. 😉
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3 said:She went to Martha's Vineyard. But that’s not an asylum. Obviously, if you can hold it together just enough to stay out of a madhouse, fine—but if someone needs to unwind or clear their head, they can always go to a retreat, just like my old lady.

I can't exactly talk her into something like that. That’s more of a conversation for her doctor. I can barely drag her out for a simple cup of coffee, so the idea of her traveling all the way to Martha's Vineyard is a bit of a stretch.
I was just feeling incredibly frustrated and helpless watching her struggle, which is why I vented like that. There isn't much I can do to fix it; I can only express how much it sucks to watch.

On a different note, regarding voices—so many people claim to hear messages or see things and attribute it all to supernatural powers. Some people even make a decent living off the whole phenomenon. I'm not judging anyone🙂. I honestly think there might be some substance to it. Who knows, maybe science will stumble upon a logical explanation one day. After all, gurus have existed since the dawn of humanity, right alongside witches and whatnot.
In this current era of New Age spirituality, it seems perfectly standard for any healer to claim they receive messages or visions. I've personally visited quite a few healers (and priests, for that matter). What are your thoughts on the matter? 🍿
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Noah Garcia4 said:Look, I can't say for sure; Queens is an absolute madhouse. Where else would she have gone?

I appreciate the compliment. 😁

Oops, my bad—I meant where else would your mom have gone for help. A friend of mine usually heads over to the facility in Queens, but if you’re even remotely functional, they aren't going to lock you up in a psych ward. How am I supposed to put this? You mentioned yourself that your mom hears voices, so she wouldn't be sent to an asylum.
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3 said:I had no idea they had one in NYC, too. Great. Maybe she could give it a shot there?

Look, I can't say for sure; Queens is an absolute madhouse. Where else would she have gone?

ruggedtinker9 said:This might be the most accurate description of what it feels like for those of us who are slightly out of step with reality.

I appreciate the compliment. 😁
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3 said:Look, it's officially a rehab facility—you know, for getting off drugs, booze, dealing with mental health issues, support groups for survivors of assault, all that stuff. It’s got everything. They have different categories, everyone stays in their own building but they share a courtyard... it's a massive campus. My mom stayed there with an alcoholic relative—they had a room, went to therapy sessions, group support, saw psychologists, did some fun activities, cooked, exercised—they really provide everything. You just need to check with a psychiatrist; they're the ones who write the referral for it.

Honestly, that sounds a lot like a state hospital in Queens to me. I’ve spent time at those types of facilities in Queens, and I actually found them quite decent. They have multiple departments, a little local park nearby, walking paths, tennis courts, a chapel, occupational therapy, group sessions, fitness programs, and, most importantly, my doctor, which makes all the difference. ☕
edit: I don't see my friend actually going there; she's far too attached to her own home.
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
What exactly is that place on Martha's Vineyard, is it some kind of residence or more like a Cenacolo-style sanctuary?
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Hey Rebecca James3 😉

A friend of mine just reached out from the hospital 😠 though I don't think she’s actually admitted; she’s just 😠
she’s hearing voices, seeing things, can barely string a sentence together, and the medication isn't doing a damn thing 🙂🙂
I guess I won't be complaining about anything else anymore
She can barely talk, and even though she makes it to church every Sunday, it feels like God isn't helping 🙂, much like how the meds aren't working
She's all alone, yet somehow she still manages to find something to laugh about 😠
It’s honestly just heartbreaking to watch her go through this 🙂
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3 said:She wouldn't be able to pull that off.

What, you scared of taking some responsibility?
Absolutely. If I were to bring a child into this world, I would be inherently responsible for their entire existence, and frankly, I don't think I could provide everything they deserve. Since I actually have the agency to decide whether or not to become a parent, I’m choosing not to.
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3 said:Given everything I’ve said—and everything I haven't even mentioned yet—I have zero intention of having kids.


Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.
She wouldn't be able to pull that off.
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Eric Mitchell55 said:Rebecca James3, thanks so much for such a detailed post 🙂
One day maybe I'll decide to have kids, but honestly, I’m pretty terrified that I might end up being a burden to them.
I've tried to put myself in their shoes, but it's just hard... I can't quite get there.

As for what I see or hear?
Well, what do I hear? I've been hearing voices since I was thirteen, and no one can ever convince me that what's happening isn't real. No matter how much people try to label me as crazy, I just can't see it that way. To me, it's completely real; I talk to them—though, to be fair, we don't argue much more than we chat. I hear them as clearly as if they were sitting right next to me. Crazy or not, I hear them.

They’re almost certainly surfacing from the subconscious. Or, if you’re feeling particularly optimistic, maybe you’re just prime material for an exorcist. 😬

Rebecca James3 said:Kasno I found out about her illness (back in elementary school)—I only told my absolute best friend when I was 17. No one else knew because everyone warned me not to say a word. Honestly, I felt embarrassed sometimes because people would give my mom weird looks if she said or did something—they'd realize something wasn't right. So I spent a lot of time wondering: "Why isn't my mom like other moms?" Later on, once I was a bit older, I started asking: "How can I help her?"

She gave me the best she could, within her means. We played all the time when I was little; she was a cheerful person. But during middle school—around 7th or 8th grade—things took a sharp turn for the worse. She went totally off the rails—breaking stuff, making threats, hospitalizations—and it wrecked our relationship. She was rude and used to mess with me mentally, so I just pulled away. I didn't love her much back then; we fought constantly. She stopped taking care of herself, and she stopped taking care of me too (I lived with my grandma). Today, we're just neutral. If I need money, she sends it, though sometimes she'll make up some excuse just to blow cash on stupid stuff—she's a total shopaholic. I don't really trust her. I cooled things off between us, even though I still feel that childhood bond and a sense of pity for her sometimes. We're okay now, more or less.

It was an "accident," haha. They weren't married, so they just rushed into marriage. The pregnancy was monitored, but because of the meds, it ended in a C-section—plus things were pretty unstable.

I was terrified of her and society in general. I was naive and believed everyone. I had no sense of self; I ran away from relationships and hated people. I was a nervous wreck and saw a psychologist. I went through a period of depression. But when you have someone who actually makes it worth changing, you'll do whatever it takes.

I honestly can't bring myself to think about keeping my diagnosis a secret from anyone anymore.

Rebecca James3 said:Kasno I found out about her illness (back in elementary school)—I only told my absolute best friend when I was 17. No one else knew because everyone warned me not to say a word. Honestly, I felt embarrassed sometimes because people would give my mom weird looks if she said or did something—they'd realize something wasn't right. So I spent a lot of time wondering: "Why isn't my mom like other moms?" Later on, once I was a bit older, I started asking: "How can I help her?"

She gave me the best she could, within her means. We played all the time when I was little; she was a cheerful person. But during middle school—around 7th or 8th grade—things took a sharp turn for the worse. She went totally off the rails—breaking stuff, making threats, hospitalizations—and it wrecked our relationship. She was rude and used to mess with me mentally, so I just pulled away. I didn't love her much back then; we fought constantly. She stopped taking care of herself, and she stopped taking care of me too (I lived with my grandma). Today, we're just neutral. If I need money, she sends it, though sometimes she'll make up some excuse just to blow cash on stupid stuff—she's a total shopaholic. I don't really trust her. I cooled things off between us, even though I still feel that childhood bond and a sense of pity for her sometimes. We're okay now, more or less.

It was an "accident," haha. They weren't married, so they just rushed into marriage. The pregnancy was monitored, but because of the meds, it ended in a C-section—plus things were pretty unstable.

I was terrified of her and society in general. I was naive and believed everyone. I had no sense of self; I ran away from relationships and hated people. I was a nervous wreck and saw a psychologist. I went through a period of depression. But when you have someone who actually makes it worth changing, you'll do whatever it takes.

Given everything that’s been said—and quite a few things that haven't even been brought up yet—I don't see myself ever having kids.
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3 said:That's it... if you guys have questions, just ask. 😉

For instance, did kids give you a hard time growing up? You know, those classic playground jabs like, "Your mom is crazy." That’s the kind of thing I’m curious about.
How did you end up compensating for the things your mother couldn't provide—did she actually give you enough attention? And how would you describe your relationship today?
Was the pregnancy an "oops" moment, or was it a planned event closely monitored by doctors?
Did your mother's illness play a role in shaping who you are as a person?
I can't think of anything else right now. 🤔
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
Rebecca James3, thanks for being so incredibly candid in your post. 😁
Schizophrenia - General Discussion in Psychology & Therapy ·
So, someone’s currently scrolling through my previous post
and thinking to themselves, "Man, she clearly hasn't seen or heard half of what actually went down."
All I can say is that whoever is making those assumptions is essentially spinning a yarn out of thin air. ☕