Posts by Noah Garcia4

I didn't quite follow your train of thought 🍿

Robin Lopez2 said:I agree, so I don't even give it a second thought anymore.

Back when I went through my first psychotic break, I didn't feel any need to wait around for anyone to tell me who I was. 😲

And honestly, welcome to the club.🤣
After all, isn't it entirely plausible that someone, somewhere, once genuinely believed they were Napoleon?😂

Robin Lopez2 said:I attended a spiritual retreat once in my life. To be honest, it felt more like some kind of magic ritual, though I kept quiet about it at the time. A few years later, I decided not to go back to the same pastor, and I actually dealt with some pretty nasty harassment from a church member who kept pushing me to return. I eventually sat down with my private psychiatrist to unpack the whole thing. He told me those types of retreats usually boil down to three Ps: Primitivism, Pseudoscience, and Pretense. I couldn't agree more.

There’s plenty of stuff in the Bible that makes sense if you look hard enough, but frankly, it’s better not to dig too deep. Living in that imaginary world usually does us more harm than good.
If I hit a breaking point and lose my mind, I can't exactly sit around waiting a month for Jesus to show up and show mercy. You get admitted to the hospital, they start asking if you need Haldol or something similar, and by the time Jesus decides to make an appearance, you might have already completely unraveled. (And I'm being serious here).
Furthermore, I don't have the luxury of waiting a year, five years, or twenty years for Jesus to intervene.
Then again, if exorcisms actually worked and were available nearby, I’d probably be first in line. Why wouldn't I? But nooo. Apparently, if you want an exorcism, you aren't allowed to take medication. Really, wtf?
edit: The Bible talks about the sins of the fathers; nowadays, we just call that genetics, claiming it's all written in our DNA... and so on. 😁

I hear you, Larry Lewis. What could an outsider possibly say besides noting that you were struggling before and now you’re doing better? There is no way a "normal" person can truly grasp what we are actually going through.
And then suddenly you’re labeled as lazy or aggressive, as if those traits aren't present in everyone else—it just happens to be our fault.

I think this is a good moment to mention that hallucinations or delusions, whatever terminology you prefer, don't just emerge from thin air; they are rooted in reality. They don't spawn from nothingness. Something happens in your actual life, and then the psychotic mind takes that input and twists it into whatever narrative makes sense to them. Think about why schizophrenia is more prevalent in major American cities compared to rural areas, whereas in certain isolated tribes in Africa, it practically doesn't exist. It isn't that they lack the medical knowledge to diagnose it; it's that the condition simply isn't there.
When you live in a massive metropolitan area, constantly surrounded by churches, radio waves, television, computers, smartphones, and a sea of people gossiping about one another, it’s easy for your brain to take those stimuli and build a hallucination on top of them.
For instance, you might imagine you're being watched—perhaps even tracked via a handheld device—especially once people become aware of your condition and start using it as fuel for their local gossip. But once you fall into a schizophrenic mindset, you amplify that feeling, assigning it a strange sort of importance until you convince yourself you are somehow the center of the universe.
Emotions become unbalanced, clashing with how the brain processes things; sure, regular people get irritable too, but for someone experiencing psychosis, that irritability is magnified to a scale that completely escapes control.
I am convinced that if you are hearing voices, they are originating from somewhere within the subconscious. They don't just manifest out of the void.
Of course, one could always argue that a person is possessed rather than psychotic.
It’s never quite clear to me how a priest decides whether to perform an exorcism or simply refer someone to a psychiatrist; if we are looking at it from that specific angle, I’d probably lump all of it under the umbrella of possession.
Then you sit in a church listening to a globalized brand of schizophrenia that has been running for 2,000 years, and it's hard not to buckle under the weight of all the logical inconsistencies and start spiraling about Jesus or the devil or whatever else.
My point is that hallucinations are built upon real-world events that the mind then misinterprets. How would anyone ever imagine being watched by aliens if they hadn't heard of them first? I respect the possibility that it’s real, but they wouldn't even know they were seeing an alien; they would just perceive it as, say, a light, and since they already know what light is, their brain wouldn't trigger any issues.
And yes, I'll try not to draw the ire of the religious crowd, but I know exactly what I'm talking about. 😉☕

Thanks for all the support, everyone; it really means a lot to me 😁☕

David Vaughn75 said:Thanks for the kind words. 👍

I'm doing great regarding the psychosis stuff, but man, the lack of motivation is hitting hard—I just can't bring myself to do anything. Part of me wants to just head down to the Gulf, catch twenty pounds of tuna, flirt with some tourists, and then, once I've finally recharged my batteries, dive headfirst back into real life.☕

it's bleak 🙂

Akineton is actually a pretty decent, perfectly legal drug if you know what you're doing...

David Vaughn75 said:I was recently stuck in the hospital, so everything is still pretty raw and fresh in my mind.

But once I get back from my trip to the coast, I'll be hunting for work. 👍

Look, don't sweat it too much. Just take some time to decompress and let the meds do their thing. Honestly, you’ve walked this path before; life doesn't stop spinning just because things got messy for a moment. 👍

David Vaughn75 said:That’s why I haven’t told most people about my diagnosis.

But man, there’s a dark side to keeping that under wraps.
I constantly have to spin these elaborate lies just to explain why I'm unemployed or why I'm not settling down and getting married...

Just get married and find a job eventually, maybe once you're feeling a bit more stable.
If things aren't hitting a breaking point right this second, just move forward. Personally, I’ve been through two marriages, which isn't exactly a certificate of sanity; if anything, it was pure madness.
Now, I'm just looking for "friends."🤣

And I am working, sort of. I could certainly be doing more, but time is plenty; as long as I'm okay with myself, that's what matters.😉

The way I see it, it’s better to just be upfront about your health before someone else starts gossiping about it behind your back. ☕
Everyone gives that well-meaning advice to keep everything under wraps, but that's total bullshit. People always find out.

I’d say I’m being healthy here. But let’s be real—it’s all just sour grapes. 😢

My current regimen includes Lexapro, Lamictal, and a 1 mg dose of Risperdal, plus some Ativan whenever things get a bit too much.
The meds seem to be doing the job just fine enough.

dr. diego said:I’m running into the same wall here. Most people who know about my diagnosis find it unsettling, or maybe they're just plain terrified. They see some headline in the New York Post about a schizophrenic individual committing a violent crime, and suddenly everyone assumes we all belong to the same dangerous category. It’s textbook stigma.
I actually opened up to a few coworkers about having schizophrenia, and their reactions were basically:
"So, you aren't going to walk in here with two grenades and take us all out?" One guy actually asked if I was carrying a knife, and a third one wondered if I was planning on murdering him. WTF? They framed it as half-joke, half-serious, which is exactly the problem. Even when I was at my absolute worst, I never hurt anyone, let alone now that I'm strictly following my medication regimen.

Yeah, they are genuinely spooked. 🤔
They shake like a leaf at the mere mention of it. It’s almost funny in a dark way—like, "Oh, you're going to kill us all? How hilarious! Hahaha."

In my case, when I was working, my colleagues decided to be incredibly helpful by inviting my new wife out for coffee just to explain how I have schizophrenia and how I once tried to kill my grandmother.
To be fair, I did have a massive breakdown where I tore a religious calendar to shreds with my bare hands—which, looking back, was a brief flash of lucidity amidst the chaos—and my grandmother told everyone I was trying to murder her, nearly resulting in her being sent off to a nursing home.

Despite being part of a huge family, I'm the one who looks after her, helps her bathe, and handles her daily needs.
But she survived the whole ordeal.

Hey there, Teddy Roosevelt and Altec 👋
I figured I’d take a moment to extend a quick hello to all the regular readers out there as well. 😛 👋

David Vaughn75 said:They think we're freaks just because they already know the diagnosis is coming down the pipe.
If they actually hung out with you without knowing anything about it, they'd probably just think you're a regular, sane person.

The whole suggestion thing is total BS. 👎

And don't forget there are those who barely know your name or what you look like, yet somehow they've already pegged you as having schizophrenia. 👎🙄

Larry Lewis said:Honestly, if I could just find a group of people like you all to hang out with—people who actually have something interesting to say instead of just complaining about life—I’d be set. At least then I wouldn't have to endure those endless Sunday afternoon lectures from my relatives about who's been hitting the bourbon too hard every single week. It's exhausting, really.

Does anyone know where I can pick up one of those t-shirts that says PSYCHO across the front?

Just hit up a local print shop; you can find them in just about every major US city these days. They'll slap whatever text you want onto any blank tee you pick out. 👍

Larry Lewis said:You hit the nail right on the head, young lady... ALAS, THE HUMAN CONDITION!!!!!!

Look, I’m well aware that isn't actually the case; I was simply echoing the prevailing consensus. 🙂😁😍☕

Look, if you want to look at the bright side, I was already a bit of a mess before the schizophrenia kicked in. I’ve never been that poised, calm type of person; I’ve always had this restless, quirky energy about me. If someone can't handle my slightly chaotic edge, they can just move on. 🙂

Honestly, that whole idea of emotional distance doesn't even phase me anymore. I’d much rather deal with a harsh, brutal truth than some sugar-coated version of "we love you no matter what."

So, sure, love exists—but if it’s actually genuine, you have to prioritize loving yourself first. That’s pretty much Psychology 101, isn't it? And if those principles apply to people who are functioning perfectly fine, why wouldn't they apply to us? 😬 😉

Larry Lewis said:Sure, but let’s be real—people with schizophrenia tend to push away anyone remotely "normal" because, frankly, they find us bizarre. And from their perspective, we aren't exactly saints either; we're out here cheating on our partners with random strangers, hitting up the local dive bar for cheap beers every single night, and dealing with all sorts of questionable substances.

Honestly, did you just drop in from Mars? Claiming that schizophrenia is the absolute peak of insanity on this planet is a massive stretch—I mean, surely there are people out there far more unhinged than that, like a cold-blooded killer.
And let's be real, compared to them, drug addicts look like toddlers playing in a sandbox.
Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.

Larry Lewis said:I totally get where you're coming from regarding trying to socialize with "normal" people—honestly, half the time I can't even wrap my head around them. And once I realize I'm just staring at them in confusion, I usually just tune out entirely and start scanning the local pub for some attractive women just to give my eyes a break from all those mundane, half-drunk faces.
It’s not like you’ve descended into schizophrenia or anything; it’s just that the whole vibe was grating on you, and you couldn't stand it.
Take me, for instance—I can manage maybe two or three sentences with a "normal" person before my mind starts drifting off into a daydream about... well, let's just say more shapely figures (it’s a tactical maneuver I developed to combat my own social anxiety)

Whenever I spot a guy who is significantly better looking than I am, I lose my grip—I either spiral into a deep depression or, occasionally, I just get straight-up aggressive.

If you ask me, there’s a very clear distinction between being high-strung and actually having a mental illness: you’re just nervous if you haven't had sex in a month or two, but you’re clinically unwell if it's been months or even years. That’s why they say people with real issues make the best lovers. Didn't you know that? It’s a scientific fact, really.

Well, I do know that people with schizophrenia can be good in bed; I speak from personal experience.
However, I don't know much about schizophrenic men specifically and their sexual prowess.
What I do know about neurotics. 🤣

Honestly, whatever you say, I always found the attractive girls walking by way more interesting than my own group of friends.
Every time I see a woman who is more attractive than myself, I fall right into an aggressive mood. I really need to figure out how to handle that, because it’s clearly not productive. Then again, I suppose depression isn't particularly productive either. Perhaps the best move is to just head home and try to mimic those looks—why not? 🥳 It might help pass the time.

But have you ever considered simply redirecting that internal aggression outward? You know, taking that energy and channeling it into something actually useful?

Larry Lewis said:Honestly, the very first thought that hit me when I woke up this morning was just... why even bother living? It’s been one of those mornings more times than I care to admit—dark, heavy, suffocating. But, being the coward that I am, I just swallowed my pills, lit up a cigarette, and sat there with my coffee until, suddenly, it clicked: "Wait, Larry Lewis, you’re actually doing alright. Stop talking nonsense." And just like that, the fog lifted. I felt fine—really fine—and spent the day actually engaging with people, enjoying their company for once. I found a spot out in the sun to grab a coffee and ended up watching these gorgeous girls walking by in next to nothing. I was just vibing, totally carefree—I even tossed a decent tip to the waiter, which is unheard of considering I don't have a steady paycheck right now. Then, on a whim, I decided to get a haircut. While the stylist was working away and chatting my ear off, I found myself completely distracted, staring at her curves and daydreaming. It was a pure, hedonistic blur of a day where I completely forgot about my illness and all the weight on my shoulders.
But then, out of nowhere—boom. My head just imploded. All those peaceful thoughts collided into this disgusting, chaotic mess—a mental sludge that smells absolutely foul.

So, I’m asking you lot—my fellow lunatics—where does that sudden crash come from? Has any of you experienced this? That jarring shift from admiring beautiful women to feeling like your entire existence is just one giant, steaming pile of garbage?

For me, it isn't like I've spent the last three days contemplating suicide; honestly, those thoughts barely cross my mind maybe three times a month, which isn't much when you consider how serious things can get. It's nothing.
I got up, made lunch, did the vacuuming, and spent two hours sipping coffee while watching home renovation shows on HGTV and smoking. Then I remembered, "Oh right, I need to be social."😬
With "normal" people. 😍 So, I chat with one friend, which is fine, and then I realize, "Crap, I have to go meet another friend." And there goes the schizophrenia. There were three of us there. Those two started bickering, and I just sat there on the sidelines. But I felt like I had to show up. It was the same old feeling, really; we haven't been close for ages, but we play the part to keep up appearances. Not that I've Googled it or anything.
From my perspective, it was actually a pretty stable day.

Though, I will say, if I spot a handsome guy, nothing can ruin my mood for the rest of the day.
I totally get what you mean.
Do you guys actually know the difference between just being high-strung and being mentally ill? I know there's a distinction, and while they can definitely overlap, they aren't necessarily the same thing.