Posts by Benjamin Grant6

Grace Fowler said:Greetings to all the fighters out there!!!
So, here I am, back in the trenches and ready for more combat... the situation is this: on Monday, I’m waiting for an appointment with an abdominal surgeon who, despite some rather grim test results, insists we still have weapons left in our arsenal. He’s going to attempt—using electrocautery, which I believe is a palliative measure involving electrical currents to shrink the mass in my pelvis—to reduce the tumor size, which should hopefully alleviate some of the pelvic discomfort... Today, I also sat in on the oncology board meeting, and once this procedure is finished, we’ll jump straight into chemotherapy. The plan is likely Vyxeos or perhaps Gemzar, provided my kidneys can handle it... There is some hope, though, since I had surgery last Friday to have a stent placed, which should offer a bit of relief. It seems certain doors are opening again, and I see plenty of possibilities ahead, regardless of what certain pessimistic audiences might predict... Over the last ten rounds, they’ve tried to write me off more than a few times, but well... I’m still standing. Ovarian cancer is a formidable adversary, but I maintain that when you align the body's need for healing with the strength of the soul, things tend to work...
Therefore, I am sending my strongest support to EVERYONE; please, never, ever give up...
WARM REGARDS FROM DIANA : five:

To live is to fight, and for all of us who frequent this thread, you and your will to heal provide an extra surge of strength! As you noted yourself, ovarian cancer is relentless, and no matter how dire the outlook appears, those grim prognoses cannot withstand the power the soul provides to the body to keep fighting! So, dear, stay strong and as you said... don't give up!

We aren't giving up either; we are back at it, battling through the hospital systems once more, only now we are stronger, more optimistic, and prepared for any bad news they throw our way... We will never surrender!

Hang in there, Diana!👍

Grace Fowler said:My dear friends—and I say dear because you truly are... I am reaching out to share what is perhaps the most difficult news I have ever had to post here.
The PET scan results were quite devastating, showing an extensive number of positive lymph nodes, stretching from my neck all the way down to my pelvis... it's just overwhelming. The biopsy of the neck node confirmed the scan's findings; we are looking at adenocarcinoma. On a more hopeful note, the placement of the port in my right kidney was successful, which opens the door for systemic chemotherapy to try and get this thing under control. If I happen to sound somber, please don't take offense, but my will to live remains immense, and I have absolutely no intention of giving up. I am heading to the oncology board meeting in a few days to determine our next steps...
I BEG OF YOU, my friends, when you read this, please do not let sadness take hold, but instead, cross your fingers and think, YOU CAN DO THIS, DIANA!!!
Your support and your positive thoughts mean the world to me.
Sending hugs,
Diana!!

Of course you can, and of course you will! It is perfectly natural to feel heavy-hearted, just as it is natural for your resolve to be even stronger... you simply will not give in. You will beat this cancer, stronger than ever before. We are all standing right there beside you.

Continue to be as brave as ever, our Diana.
kisses

Grace Fowler said:John Doe, you have my deepest sympathies!!!

There are quite a few updates on my end, though none of them are particularly cheerful; I recently had a ScanTech procedure which came back after a few days, but during the Shield City ultrasound, they spotted two enlarged lymph nodes that were biopsied today, and now I am simply waiting on those results. To make matters more tedious, I’ve started seeing blood in my urine again due to microhematuria, so tomorrow I have to head in for a cystoscopy... what can I even say, there is an influx of information lately, yet I am maintaining a relatively calm composure and moving forward with my usual mantra... one cannot jump from the frying pan into the fire... Truth be told, I don't feel physically unwell, just a bit more fatigued and lethargic than usual, which I will simply attribute to the change in seasons...
I hope you all stay brave and hang in there...
Best, Dan

Dear Dan,

I am following every update alongside you, because ever since I first joined this forum, you have been a source of strength for me, helping me push away all those heavy, negative thoughts...

I truly admire your courage, your faith, and your resilience. Sometimes I wish my own mother possessed that same spirit. However, as the days pass, I find myself increasingly fearful that she is faltering in her own fight...

Just when she felt emboldened enough to return to a normal life, the anxiety intensified with her trip for a PET scan. The diagnosis provided by the specialists here in the States was an enlarged lymph node in the left side of the abdomen. Feeling a momentary sense of relief—since she is a heavy smoker and we expected the lungs to be compromised already—she called her oncologist in San Diego, who told her everything was fine because her blood work looked stable. However, the doctors in Eagle State did not agree, and she was summoned for an urgent evaluation. I am not entirely sure what they determined at that moment, but I was told she needed immediate surgery to perform an exploratory laparotomy and biopsy the abdominal organs. That "emergency" surgery has since devolved into a month-long wait for a call from Eagle State. The procedure is finally scheduled for this Friday, but judging by her mental state and general physical condition—she has let herself go terribly, indulging in junk food and the worst processed products humanity has to offer—I honestly do not know what to expect. The hardest part is that we are separated by so many miles and borders that I will likely be the last one to know what is actually happening...

What have they told you regarding the lymph nodes?

In any case, with plenty of faith, hope, and sincere intention, I hope that we will all soon—both the fighters and those of us closest to them—find a little more strength to combat this wretched thing!

Hang in there, Dan!

Dear quietpilot87,

I am deeply sorry to hear about the passing of your mother, though I know that no matter how far you travel, a profound part of her will always remain within you and close to your heart... It is truly difficult to accept the loss of someone so dear, yet you have always shown such courage and capacity for love, and I am certain you will continue on your path, guided by the very love she instilled in you. Do not worry, I believe you will find yourselves reunited again under much better circumstances...

Stay strong.

Lisa White54 said:Your mother is undoubtedly a fighter who refuses to back down. There isn't a single soul alive who doesn't feel fear in circumstances such as these; it is simply an unavoidable part of the human experience. However, that is precisely why family exists—to provide that necessary courage. You are a wonderful daughter, and your mother is truly blessed to have you by her side. Stay strong. Have faith that everything will eventually find its way to being alright. My thoughts are with you both...

Thank you for those lovely words! Of course... there is so much strength residing within all of us... sending a kiss and a hug your way.

gentlemoose62 said:As far as I understand, a PET scan merely shows a certain level of activity—basically where there is an intensified accumulation—rather than providing a definitive diagnosis, especially when a CT hasn't picked up anything yet; essentially, the PET just points out where one needs to focus next. That surgical procedure will provide the actual answers, and it really should be done... but, dear God, without terrifying the patient in such a situation, I simply cannot believe an oncologist would make such an ill-considered statement, because surgery at this stage, if we are looking at an isolated recurrence, could actually mean a cure for your mother!
Tell your mom to clear those dark thoughts from her mind; naturally, there are always pros and cons, but one must always move forward bravely and optimistically toward whatever offers the greatest advantage... as one does in life generally, let alone when life itself is on the line.
I personally underwent three abdominal surgeries, all through the same vertical incision from my chest down, and everything went fine; I was always just waiting for them to finally get "that thing" out of me, and afterwards, if chemo or anything else is required, then so be it, as long as it’s gone. After one of those operations, when they removed some suspicious cysts, the pathology report ultimately came back clean—negative, no recurrence whatsoever!

I know things are difficult for you right now, but she is having the hardest time of all, and you need to find a way to be fully present for her, to pierce through that fictional calmness she’s maintaining so she can open up... it will be easier for both her and you once she shares her fears, allows you to perhaps reason with her about certain things, and then you can cheer her on with genuine, positive stories. This period of uncertainty will pass, and once the actual work begins, everything will fall into place. Only the person who is ill truly knows what it feels like to be "lonely with their fears," making everything seem much darker than it actually is... that is where you come in, and if you manage to dispel even a single fear, you have accomplished so much.
Just keep moving forward bravely.

That was written with such honesty and realism! Thank you for that!

It will happen exactly as you described. After the initial shock of the first day, today is calm and we are talking normally. It feels foolish to even mention consequences, given that every surgery carries risks, because whatever happens, happens. Fear only pushes us away, and we are all aware of that! The only ill-considered remark was from the doctor at the Police Department; the people over at Avian are optimistic and don't dwell on consequences, they just charge ahead!

The PET/CT is clear, meaning they only found that mass in the left leg; the abdomen is clear, the lungs are clear. That mass is the least of her worries; she is more concerned that her cancer was operated on at its highest stage, and they are actually being extra cautious by opening it up to ensure nothing is missed. We are fully aware of all this, and once again, we are facing it all together.

Taking into account everything you have been through yourself, and seeing what others go through on this forum, I can say that even when I am at my most hypocritical or miserable, I remember how difficult it truly is for the person going through it, because they are alone with their terrors. However, I am certain my girl will continue to show that she is a Braveheart and won't give in to fear! She is young, spirited, and strong for all of us!

kisses

gentlemoose62 said:Dear Nancy Hernandez43,

Please, don't fall into the trap of assuming this is bad news just yet! Everyone needs to take a collective breath right now and simply wait to see what the oncologist concludes after the additional tests come back.
It has happened more than once—as Grace Fowler mentioned regarding her own situation—where a PET scan suggests one thing, only for it to turn out to be far less serious in the end.
Her CA125 levels are low and haven't increased, correct? In my experience, doctors have always told me that as long as that marker remains low, or at least isn't doubling or spiking, there is absolutely no reason for panic.
👍Wishing for everything to turn out fine! Please keep us posted.

Dear gentlemoose62, and everyone else,
In moments of pure rage, shock, or disbelief, reading any kind of support can feel wonderful... though, I suppose true understanding is most easily found among those who are seasoned fighters, fueled by strength and optimism.

Perhaps I expressed myself poorly, which is likely just the fear taking hold. My parents went in for their exams yesterday. I knew immediately that something was wrong because they usually at least send a flurry of texts, but yesterday, the phones were simply turned off. This morning brought nothing but silence and shock. There might be a swollen lymph node in the left leg, though the oncologist couldn't palpate it. Because of that uncertainty, they need to perform an exploratory surgery. However, looking at the PET/CT images and reviewing the findings—though I still don't know the actual values or if the marker is still low, as they are keeping me distanced from the critical details for now—he didn't seem satisfied. He believes that if there is any malignant growth anywhere, particularly in the abdomen where the core of the previous tumor was located, the PET/CT might have missed it, since even at its most precise, it won't register anything smaller than 0.4mm (I'm not entirely sure if I understood that correctly... but that sudden phone call certainly woke me up)... Anyway, an emergency surgery has been scheduled to reopen the abdominal cavity.

In a way, I am grateful they are being so diligent, watching over the patient so closely to ensure no mistakes are made and treatment continues seamlessly. But on the other hand, until this surgery is over, I find myself trapped in the same cycle: caught between hope and skepticism, feeling just as helpless as every other family member. She, my mother, sounds calm over the phone, but I know she isn't, because they are filling her head all over again with everything that could go wrong during surgery, or simply repeating the oncologist's grim comment about how "I've been through this too, and ended up with sepsis..." 😢

Grace Fowler said:Hello everyone!!!
Just a quick update regarding my recent test results.... The marker has been trending slightly downward over the last three weeks, which is rather encouraging... I am waiting until October 14th when we will perform the CT scan and biopsy on the suspicious area... Until then, I am supposed to be resting, hmm, though that is proving quite difficult as staying confined to bed is the hardest part (though I suppose one can justify a little walk while wearing a fitness tracker:-👍) AND I AM EXPERIMENTING WITH EVERY POSSIBLE RECIPE THAT COMES TO MIND😉 🙂. The reality is that there are many things I simply cannot eat (which is why I have my husband here to help:-), but still, it brings me some joy.
I WANT TO SHARE A BIT OF MY OPTIMISM AND FAITH THAT THINGS WILL IMPROVE WITH ALL OF YOU Please continue to stay brave and do not give up...
Your Dina

Thank you, Grace, reading this was truly lovely! Hang in there!👍

Lisa White54 said:My husband finally agreed to the PET scan. I need to call today to schedule an appointment.
The issue, however, is that his neck and head are causing him immense pain... He was quite dizzy last night, and there’s this persistent ringing in his ears. He was so cold and clammy... He took some Tramal, which helped ease things slightly. This morning he had some trouble urinating, though I am unsure if that was simply a side effect of the medication...

To be perfectly honest, I can see that nothing is truly alright. They might tell me the test results look fine, but I am looking at a man who is clearly suffering. Essentially, they are focusing solely on pulmonary oncology screenings, yet the real question remains what else is happening elsewhere in his body...
He is home now. I have to lift him up, both mentally and physically. I refuse to let him sink...

Lisa, I wish you so much strength! At Medikol, they are actually quite efficient with scheduling, so I truly hope you can get that PET scan completed without any unnecessary complications...

Honestly, I am at a loss as to which is more agonizing... waiting for test results only to receive a devastating diagnosis, or the excruciating suspense while waiting for that confirmation to arrive.

Back home, they were incredibly slow with the PET/CT results. My mother had finally begun to recover from the exhaustion caused by the scanning process... only to receive the findings and the diagnosis this morning. It was a fresh shock.

She might say that despite the heavy diagnosis and the negative prognosis we initially discussed, things look okay after a year because they found "only" one enlarged mass in her left leg. They suspect it is an enlarged lymph node—I use the word "suspect" because that is where my own anxieties have truly begun to take root.

What provides some solace is the fact that doctors here in America are far more diligent. She immediately called an oncologist at Atlanta who didn't just brush her off by saying, "Ma'am, you aren't scheduled until October 16th, what do you expect us to do now?" instead, he told her, "Ma'am, if there is any way possible, please come in for an exam immediately so we don't cause unnecessary panic or increase your anxiety before your scheduled appointment."👍 Perhaps this is actually for the best—getting the truth immediately following the initial shock...

No matter how much people think others have it worse or complain that we shouldn't be grieving, sometimes you simply need to hurry up and force that negative fear out of your system. Regardless of how it unfolds... one should never hesitate when facing the worst, because things can always get worse.👍 Wishing everyone immense courage...

Lisa White54 said:Thanks for the advice. During these past four years, I had no idea an association like that even existed. I will certainly reach out to them.
My husband is being discharged from the hospital today. All the results from the biopsy and bronchoscopy came back negative. The doctor is recommending a PET scan. We’ll go ahead with that, and then the doctor can decide on the next steps...
My husband's arms and shoulders are hurting terribly, and he says he just feels unwell. He’ll likely feel better once he's back home.
The whole situation has left me feeling quite shaken. The tests are negative, yet the tumor is visible on the CT scan. I suppose I should tell myself everything is fine, but I am terrified. Nothing seems clear...

Unfortunately, it is difficult for anything to feel clear when dealing with a disease like this. I truly believe your husband will find some strength once he is home, away from those sterile hospital walls, and can finally relax a little...

If a PET scan is necessary, it is worth doing. It took us a few months to work through the fear and get my mother to undergo hers. Even two weeks after her scan, she still feels drained, which makes me hope she won't have to do it again...

The results arrived this morning. An undefined mass was found in the left leg. My mother handled it by saying, "After that horrific diagnosis, this is nothing." They suspect an enlarged lymph node. She called the oncologist, and he called her back for an urgent appointment. I should know more tomorrow, and honestly, I am prepared for anything, though I refuse to believe everything is okay. So, I understand how you feel, and I hope things improve for all of us soon... We are all fighters. Let's stay strong!👍

rapidbadger26 said:Well, this is my first time posting on this forum... Greetings to you all. I recently found myself in the emergency room at Mayo Clinic due to some cardiac issues, and now I am left with a diagnosis that feels entirely incomprehensible... I have been told to undergo various tests, yet my appointment with a cardiologist won't be for another six months. Being someone who naturally leans toward panic, I already have a medical history involving several anxiety attacks. Now, the days simply pass by while I can think of nothing else except listening to my heartbeat and waiting for it to eventually stop. My mother has lived with similar issues for forty years, and the doctor at the ER assured me that nothing is "malignant," so everyone keeps trying to comfort me by saying it isn't serious... People offer advice such as "don't be afraid" or "look in the mirror every day and tell yourself your heart is working perfectly," and things of that nature. In any case, talking helps—discussing the fear itself is useful. And when conversation isn't enough, medication certainly assists, as constant internal tension and nervousness are proven triggers for many ailments. One more thing: I don't lead particularly healthy lifestyle; I am a smoker, which is hardly a point of pride. I am not attempting to make excuses, but even we "addicts" yearn for our lives and our health, fully aware of the dangers and our own weakness in abandoning these habits. Stay well, everyone...

The most vital thing is to listen to yourself and find your own inner peace. It is quite easy for others to say, "do this" or "don't be afraid"... but it is much harder for them to truly listen when one is facing genuine terror.

Living a healthy life or subjecting oneself to strict dietary regimens offers no guarantee that one will remain healthy or avoid illness... sometimes, one simply has to surrender to life.

Listen to your heart and find your strength; stay brave for a long time to come...

Angela Rogers55 said:I truly believe that you have been her pillar of strength, especially during those grueling moments when one's own resilience begins to fail and there is simply no choice but to lean on someone else. I sincerely hope everything turns out well with her mother... Best regards.👍

Precisely so. During those darkest hours when she was on the verge of giving up, the collective strength we all provided offered her just enough motivation to keep pushing forward... whether things will ultimately turn out fine or not is something none of us can predict. She understands that cancer is something one learns to live alongside, and since the diagnosis, our lives have essentially become about navigating one day at a time...

Warm wishes to you as well, and I wish you a smooth recovery from your surgery... May your faith remain steadfast and may your strength never waver.👍

Nancy Thomas18 said:The CT scan mentions something about non-homogeneous structures... it seems to be located near the small pelvis or abdomen, and the pain is somewhat widespread in those areas as well.
But I am not giving up... not yet!

Don't give up! Do not falter! I wish you so much courage and strength... If nothing else, the PET scan will surely uncover the issue...

Angela Rogers55 said:Try to arm yourself with a positive outlook and some semblance of inner peace. It is actually quite vital that you sit down as a family and speak openly about how each individual is feeling regarding this issue... It might just serve to strengthen those familial bonds even further. As for finding inner strength and tranquility—for me, it comes through prayer and my faith. I have two surgeries looming on my horizon, and when I first heard the news, I nearly fainted from the sheer shock and terror of it all. However, I eventually managed to view the entire situation through a more optimistic lens, and suddenly, it didn't seem quite so catastrophic... Wishing you the best.

It is truly heartening to encounter people like you, so brimming with faith and positivity... I sincerely hope you maintain that courage and refuse to let fear take hold.

Before my mother fell ill, my family barely functioned as a unit. Everyone simply went about their own separate business... but the moment her illness struck, it marked a definitive turning point for us. We stood by her side, united for her sake and for ours... today, we look out for one another and communicate openly, providing each other with much-needed strength, faith, and support.

Sophia Harris45 said:This recipe is actually quite decent...😉
Please let me know once Mom’s results come in... I am keeping my fingers crossed that we receive some good news...

There is certainly no foolproof formula for navigating these things, but one really shouldn't allow themselves to be swallowed by such negativity... It is simply the nature of life, I suppose, and one must find a way to keep moving forward...

I suppose I should check in... I took a ride out to Central Park and ended up freezing my heart out, and while I didn't quite make it in time for the Relay For Life, I feel a certain sense of peace... whatever will be, will be...

I find myself wondering about one particular detail... during those seven days when you aren't taking the pills, do you happen to rely on any other form of birth control?

Sophia Harris45 said:How does one confront the sheer terror that stems from the unknown when it comes to your own health? How many of you are currently sitting there, paralyzed by anxiety over your life or the quality of the years ahead?

I haven't personally had to face a devastating diagnosis yet. However, every time my mother heads in for an exam or a scan, I find myself completely drained and emotionally fragile for several days before and after the appointment... if I’m being honest, I’d probably call it a state of depression. It isn't necessarily that I am fearing for her life—I am fully aware that life follows its own course and that I have no power to alter it—but rather it is this agonizing sense of waiting, this dread of whatever new truth might be revealed.

One can be perfectly confident in their physical well-being, living a life of discipline and avoiding mistakes, yet illness remains an unpredictable variable that can strike anyone at any time...

So, how does one fight that fear? My personal remedy is to seek out as much laughter and wit as possible, turning inward or leaning on the people in my life who truly understand me. It has been twenty days now, and we are still waiting on the results from my mother's PET scan. I hadn't given it a single thought until yesterday, and now, quite unexpectedly, it has become an all-consuming preoccupation...😢

Grace Fowler Asks:
Greetings to everyone...
I am sincerely hoping that I will manage to make my way over to Jarun tomorrow... Since I'm so close to home, I suppose I'll just have to scrape together whatever energy I have left from my very last nerve...
See you later.............
Grace Fowler

The most vital thing is to direct all that energy toward your own healing... even if it means spending the entire manifestation just waving at people through the window...👍

How are you doing? Is there any news to report...

Pusa and hang in there...

slyseal28 said:Dear friends, we would like to remind you about the upcoming Terry Fox Run 2008, taking place on September 28th, 2008, at the local park in Washington, D.C. Activities kick off at 2:00 PM, with the actual race scheduled for 4:00 PM. This year’s charity event is proudly organized by MPG LLC, the Embassy of Canada, the American Cancer Society, Washington Holding, and the Esplanada Hotel. With the dedicated support of our "For a New Day" Association—composed of those fighting cancer, their families, and close friends—we invite both corporations and individual citizens to join us. You can show your support by running, walking, cycling, skating, making a donation prior to the race, or even volunteering on the day itself. A wonderful lineup of entertainment will be hosted by the well-known humanitarian Sonja Šarunić.

The festivities begin at 2:00 PM with a major concert by Luka Nižetić, and right at the start, attendees will have the chance to win some fantastic prizes through raffle tickets—including two bicycles that can be used immediately to participate in the race...

The official opening ceremony begins at 3:30 PM with welcoming remarks from the organizers and sponsors, followed by the start of the race promptly at 4:00 PM. After a few extra surprises during the first half of the event, once the runners, cyclists, and skaters have set off, the atmosphere will be kept lively by performances from Branko Bogunović - PIF, the B2 Blues Band, the funky rock group Pokus, and the pop group En Faca from Rijeka...

Once the race concludes, the program continues with a raffle where participants can win mobile phones, gear, and other various prizes. The charity stalls and the En Faca concert will remain active until 6:30 PM.

You can read more about the full schedule here.

So please, everyone, do come...

Thank you, slyseal28, for all these updates. I was a bit late with my registration last year, though I did make it out to the park, so this year I fully intend to be there... provided the cold weather doesn't drive me away! Still, it truly warms my heart to see events like this exist. It matters to keep fighting...👍