Mom's health is declining—how can I help?

Hi everyone, I wanted to say thanks in advance to anyone who can spare a few minutes to help me out.🙏

Here’s the situation—my mom is going through something difficult right now, and I really want to do what I can to support her. I’ve spent quite a bit of time scouring various forums and threads, but I haven't found anything that truly mirrors her specific condition; everything I find is just vaguely similar. 😕 To get straight to the point: she’s 57 years old, and over the last two months, she has collapsed several times. She was hospitalized for extensive testing and ended up staying for over a month. During the first incident, they kept her for about ten days without finding a single thing wrong—all her tests came back perfectly normal. Then, during the second stint, they held her for two weeks, only to tell us again that everything looked fine, aside from her blood pressure being dangerously high. She was prescribed medication for her blood pressure, and things seemed stable after that. However, she had to head back to the doctor because when she fainted, she hit her head and something went wrong with her eye. They told her she has cataracts and will need surgery! But here is the real concern: two days ago, her legs started swelling terribly—from her knees all the way down to her ankles. Her veins look deep blue-red, and if you press on her skin, the indentation stays there for a long time. She says she isn't in any pain. She doesn't have a physically demanding job; she mostly just watches her two-year-old granddaughter, and her only real walking happens when she takes the little one outside. I’ve done some searching online, and the only practical advice I’ve found is to try compression stockings or, predictably, "consult a doctor" (which she is refusing to do). Does anyone know how much these medical compression stockings typically cost in the US? And do they actually make a difference?

She is absolutely terrified—there is a heavy history of sudden deaths in our family, with relatives passing away in their middle ages from cancer, tumors, heart attacks, or strokes. Is it possible that she is facing something that serious, beyond just fluid retention? It feels like our doctors are completely clueless—how can her lab results and blood work be perfect while she is constantly collapsing?

If you have any questions or need more details, please feel free to ask. We would appreciate any insight or help you can provide. 🙂 🙏

If they kept her in the hospital, there had to be more to the story than just high blood pressure. Do you have access to her discharge papers or any medical reports that explain why she was admitted? What kind of tests did they actually run on her?

Are you absolutely certain there isn't something else she might be hesitant to share with you?

When veins are that prominent, you also have to consider the risk of thrombosis—blood clots can be a serious issue.
Was she disoriented or confused after she lost consciousness?
Did they perform a CT scan of her head or something similar?

Given this combination of symptoms, she really needs to see a physician. Try to encourage her, or at least call her doctor directly to get some advice—you might even be able to request a home visit.

ironsurfer8 said:If they kept her in the hospital, there had to be some sort of diagnosis beyond just high blood pressure—do you have the discharge papers or any lab results that actually explain why she was admitted? What kind of tests did they run?

Are you absolutely certain she isn't withholding something from you?

With those prominent veins, there’s always a risk of thrombosis—you know, blood clots.
Was she disoriented after she lost consciousness?
Did they perform a head CT scan or something similar?

And given the combination of issues she’s dealing with, she really needs to see a specialist—try to talk her into it, or at least call her primary care physician to get their take (maybe even arrange a home visit).

Yes, she received discharge papers—I know we were all waiting on those so she could finally come home—so I’ll dig through them and see if I can find any other test results.

I'm fairly certain she would have told me if it were anything truly serious...🤷

I can't say for sure if she was disoriented after passing out because the paramedics rushed her off, and by the time I made it to the hospital, she seemed to be heavily medicated... she was acting strange, almost like she wasn't herself. I do know she went for a CT scan since I was waiting outside for her, and they told her they spotted something unusual—like a mass or a lump—and needed to re-scan her. But after they repeated the imaging, they told her everything was fine...😕

Do you mean her primary care doctor?

graniteowl9 said:Hey, thanks in advance to anyone who can spare a few minutes to help out.🙏

So here’s the deal: my mom is dealing with something and I really want to help her out. I’ve already scrolled through all the threads people have started, but nothing seems to actually fit what she’s going through. Everything I find is just "sort of" similar. 😕 Long story short: she’s 57. Over the last two months, she’s passed out a couple of times. She ended up in the hospital for every test imaginable and they kept her for over a month. The first time, they held her for a week and a half and found absolutely nothing—everything came back normal. Then the second time, they kept her for two weeks and again, everything looked fine, except her blood pressure was through the roof. They put her on some BP meds and things seemed okay after that. But then she had to go back to the doctor because when she passed out, she hit her head and something happened with her eye. They told her she has cataracts and needs surgery! Now, two days ago, her legs started swelling up like crazy (from the knees down to the ankles). Her veins look this weird blue-red color, and if you press on her leg, the indentation stays there for a while. She says it doesn't even hurt. She doesn't do any heavy lifting; she just watches her 2-year-old granddaughter, so the only walking she does is when she takes the kid outside. I Googled it and the only useful stuff I found was compression stockings or "see a doctor" (but she’s refusing that part). How much do those compression socks usually cost? And do they actually work?

She’s terrified. Almost everyone in our family died in their middle years from cancer, tumors, heart attacks, strokes, etc. Is it possible she’s dealing with something serious like that, beyond just fluid retention? Our doctors here don't seem to know anything. They claim her labs are perfect, yet the woman keeps passing out. Bloodwork comes back totally normal too.

If you need more info, just ask. Any help would be huge. 🙂 🙏

I agree, you really need to find her discharge papers or something so we can see what diagnoses they were working with. Without that info, it's hard for us to offer anything truly useful on a forum. Did she wear a Holter monitor (to track her heart rhythm over 24 hours)? Passing out can be caused by a ton of things: arrhythmias, blood pressure drops, brain issues... Are you 100% sure every single test came back normal? Does she have any chronic pain?
The swelling in her lower legs is a symptom, not the disease itself. You have to figure out why that edema is happening—it could be the heart, kidneys, veins, or a dozen other things. Bottom line: Mom needs to see a doctor. Fluid buildup isn't just "water," it's a sign of something else, especially since this is a brand-new symptom.

wiredcanyon2 said:I completely agree—you really need to dig up that discharge summary so we can actually see the specific diagnoses she was being treated for upon release. Honestly, without those clinical details, how much "ultra-useful" advice can we even provide here on this forum? Was she wearing an ECG Holter monitor to track her heart rhythm over a full 24-hour period? Fainting spells can stem from so many different things: arrhythmias, sudden drops in blood pressure, neurological issues... Are you absolutely certain that every single test result came back normal??? And does she suffer from any chronic conditions?
The swelling in the lower legs is a symptom—a sign—not the actual disease itself. You have to figure out why that edema is forming (it could be the heart, the kidneys, venous issues, there are so many possibilities!!!). In short: please get her to a doctor. That fluid buildup isn't just "water in the legs"; you need to find the underlying cause, especially since this is a brand-new symptom.

Fine. I'll try to track down the discharge papers and let you know. She did wear a Holter ECG on August 2nd, 2011. She’s being stubborn about showing the doctor (I'll try to talk some sense into her). The doctors keep insisting everything is perfectly fine! 😕🤷 She doesn't have any chronic illnesses. But maybe the doctors missed something? It seems impossible for all the tests to be clear when she clearly isn't feeling well...👎