Weight loss and infertility issues

Alright, let's try this approach. I'm coming to the ladies here to get some insight.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time searching through the forums for a thread like this, but I haven't come up with anything useful. Honestly, you can find all sorts of conflicting information online, so I figured it would be better to just ask you all directly.
My wife and I have been going back and forth on how much body weight actually impacts fertility—specifically, does being underweight make it significantly harder to conceive?
For context, her stats are roughly 5'4" and 86 lbs.

What are your thoughts on this?

162 lbs and 86 kg????? Honestly, I feel like a woman at that weight might struggle with regular cycles, let alone have the physical stamina to actually carry a pregnancy to term.

It’s definitely more challenging to conceive if you’re underweight, which is why people always suggest "preparing" your body for pregnancy beforehand. Of course, it isn't impossible—I actually got pregnant right away despite being very thin—but I later realized that wasn't exactly the smartest move for my health.

Man, it feels like my body is just providing its own natural birth control!😂😂

Alex Patel96 said:Gosh, it’s almost like I have built-in birth control!😂😂

Not really—I was incredibly thin myself and conceived the moment I decided to, though doctors warn it isn't ideal for the baby if the mother is underweight. It seems fertility is a bit of a lottery; some people are just naturally more fertile (myself included), while others genuinely need to focus on physical prep to boost their chances.
It's all highly individual, and being thin doesn't necessarily help everyone.

And by the way, this isn't funny for everyone. I'm not talking about me, but for those who are actually struggling to conceive, it wouldn't hurt to show a little more empathy instead of making jokes.

if she’s still getting regular periods at that weight, I’d say it’s doable

plus—some women lose their flow entirely when they drop too much weight, which makes getting pregnant a total nightmare

Ashley Cooper52 said:If she's still getting regular cycles at that weight, then I honestly think it’s possible.

Another thing to consider is that some women actually see their periods drop off entirely when they lose too much weight, which can make trying to conceive really difficult.

Exactly—she does have a regular cycle, which is why I’m asking.

(John Doe 162/39!? 🤔)

If she’s healthy—meaning her low weight isn't some byproduct of an underlying medical issue—then I don't see why she shouldn't be able to carry a baby.
The bigger concern for me, though, is how she’s going to sustain a pregnancy through to the end. Honestly, looking at her current weight, the numbers are pretty alarming!!

Maria Sanchez59 said:(John Doe 162/39!? 🤔)

If she’s healthy—meaning her low weight isn't being caused by an underlying medical issue—then I don't think she should have any trouble with her periods coming back.
The other thing is how she would actually manage and carry a pregnancy to term, because honestly, this specific weight is reaching an alarming level!!

Yes, I am fully aware that it's alarming. She is trying to gain weight, but she's having a really hard time making any progress.
And aside from the fact that I'm not exactly looking to have a baby anytime soon, that is exactly what worries me too. If I were to get pregnant, how would my body even handle it? That’s just one more reason why I’m asking...

I have this one friend who’s super thin—maybe 5'7" and about 110 lbs—and she handled pregnancy like a total pro. She didn't even gain weight during the whole thing, actually dropped a few pounds without any issues, and now she’s under 110 lbs again while still breastfeeding a toddler close to a year old.

If I ever had any theories about how this works, she pretty much debunked them all, so 🤷🤷

crimsongull4 said:Yeah, I know it looks pretty alarming. She’s really trying to put some weight on, but it’s just not happening.
Aside from the fact that having a baby isn't exactly at the top of my priority list right now, I've also got this underlying anxiety about the physical side of things. If I did end up pregnant, I’d be genuinely worried about how my body would actually handle the pregnancy itself. That's just one more reason why I'm asking all these questions...

Look, let's be real—nobody gets caught up in something like that "by accident." It doesn't just happen.😲
Let’s be real: being an adult means knowing how to handle the heavy stuff, and that includes understanding the basics of conception. It shouldn't feel like a mystery or some taboo subject you have to navigate blindly. When you reach a certain level of maturity, you should really have a solid grasp on how the whole process works.👎
If they don't want to step up and take the necessary precautions, they’re basically just asking for trouble. It's like driving without insurance—you might feel fine now, but you're really just waiting for a disaster to happen that you aren't prepared to handle. If they won't protect themselves, they shouldn't be surprised when things go south.🤷
And let's not go around questioning the health of a woman whose wellbeing might be compromised because she's underweight. It's just not right to judge someone's physical state like that.
Just because someone has a regular cycle doesn't necessarily mean they're actually ovulating. It’s one of those things that sounds straightforward, but biology is rarely that simple.
You both really need to focus on helping her recover and getting her weight back up.
Wishing you nothing but the best.👍

Ashley Cooper52 said:I have a friend who is incredibly thin—about 5'7" and barely 110 pounds. She went through her pregnancy flawlessly and delivered a perfect baby; she didn't even gain weight during the pregnancy and actually dropped a bit afterward without any trouble. Now, she's under 110 pounds and still breastfeeding a little over a year old.

If I had any theories left about this, her experience completely debunked them, so 🤷🤷

At 5'7", I used to weigh only 101 pounds (dealing with anorexia from every angle, no matter how much I ate). I gained almost no weight during my pregnancy and just pushed through until my due date; the baby was born perfectly at 7.7 pounds, and whatever tiny amount of weight I did put on vanished within a week.

Even with all that, I feel much better now at 121 pounds, even if I still feel thin to myself; it makes me realize what I was putting my body through back then.

Despite my "perfect" pregnancy, I wouldn't recommend an anorexic woman getting pregnant to anyone. You really need to get your health in order by every possible means before trying to conceive; in my case, I simply couldn't raise my weight due to medical reasons.

crimsongull4 said:Yeah, I realize how alarming those numbers look. She’s actually been trying to put some weight on, but she’s having a hell of a time making any progress.
Beyond the fact that I’m not exactly looking to start a family right this second, my primary concern is her physical resilience; if we were to happen upon a pregnancy, I worry about how her body would actually hold up under that kind of strain. That’s really the core of why I’m asking...

She’ll likely gain the necessary weight once she's pregnant anyway. Ultimately, the priority should be her overall health and maintaining a regular cycle—and, of course, ensuring you're fertile. Once a pregnancy happens, it happens, whether you planned for it or not.
That said, I find it genuinely difficult to wrap my head around your girlfriend being 5'4" and only weighing 86 pounds...😕😕😕

Kimberly Flores56 said:She’ll probably put on some weight once she gets pregnant anyway. Honestly, the main things are that she’s healthy, has a regular cycle, and you’re fertile. Pregnancy happens regardless of whether it's planned or not.
But personally, I can't even wrap my head around how your girlfriend looks at 5'4" and only 86 pounds......😕😕😕

Looks cute to me... just tiny.😁

I’ve always wondered how Victoria Beckham managed to have three children when she's so incredibly thin; you can tell she pushes herself to the limit with her diet. It’s a similar story with Angelina Jolie having two kids. Take Calista Flockhart from *Ally McBeal*—she wasn't able to conceive due to her struggles with anorexia and ended up adopting instead. I recall reading somewhere that women with very low body fat might actually have a higher statistical chance of conceiving a girl, under the theory that female embryos are more resilient and require less fat stores to successfully take hold.

swiftbear86 said:I’m sorry, but nobody gets pregnant "by accident."😲
Mature, grown adults should understand how conception works...👎
And if they don't want to deal with the consequences, they really ought to take the necessary precautions to avoid unwanted situations...🤷 Furthermore, please stop questioning the health of a woman whose body might be struggling due to being underweight...
Just because she has a regular cycle doesn't necessarily mean she's actually ovulating..
The two of you need to focus on her recovery and helping her gain some weight...
Best of luck...
👍

What is wrong with you?? Suggesting that nobody gets pregnant by accident... what, if a condom breaks and you aren't careful, that's suddenly a deliberate choice? Seriously? To me, that doesn't look intentional at all. Ugh, come on!
And yes; she is ovulating; and trust me, we are trying. You really don't need to lecture me here.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the input.
And no, honestly, she doesn't look nearly as thin as you all probably think based on those measurements. Her ribs aren't sticking out and there are no sharp bone spikes, haha. She just looks a little slender because she’s naturally quite petite 🙂

crimsongull4 said:Seriously, what's your deal? Just because someone doesn't get pregnant by accident doesn't mean anything. Like, what if a condom breaks and you're left high and dry? That's just how it goes sometimes. It really doesn't look intentional to me. Ugh, come on!
Yeah, she's ovulating; we're actively trying. You don't need to lecture me here.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for the input.
And honestly, she doesn't look nearly as thin as you guys probably think based on those measurements. You can't see her ribs or any of those sharp angles, haha. She just looks a little lean because she's naturally petite 🙂

It wasn't a lecture...
But when you go asking questions, you've gotta be ready for answers you might not want to hear...😁
And let's face it, condoms aren't foolproof—you said it yourself. So if you're worried about an accidental pregnancy... just think about it...👍

Honestly, you should just take her out for some decent BBQ first so she’s properly fed before you two even think about trying to start a family. 😁

Hehe, oh I definitely want in on this! 🙂

Adding my two cents here since I beat anorexia back in high school.
Even though my cycle has been totally regular for years and everything seems fine, the food anxiety never truly vanishes—recovery leaves its mark—and the fear of gaining weight is still massive (I'm 5'6" and about 110 lbs).
I genuinely want to have kids, but the idea that I'll have to "eat for two" absolutely terrifies me.
Do women actually need to eat more during pregnancy?
I’ve read claims that most of the weight gain comes from blood volume, the baby, and the placenta, leaving the rest up to individual appetite.
Is that just total nonsense?