Mixed flora - "incompatible bacteria" (sex)

First off, sorry if this should have gone under the "Love, Eroticism, Sex" subforum... I honestly couldn't decide if this was more of a medical issue or a sexual one.

Anyway.. my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years now. We regularly engage in 🙂, but there's been this issue since day one (which we figured out a bit later)—our bacterial flora just isn't compatible, or as they say, it's a mixed flora situation.
The effect, or the result of all this, is that she gets this discharge after sex... I don't really know the technical terms 🙂 ... and basically, it just keeps happening unless she’s getting medical treatment.
It’s nothing life-threatening, but a lot of time has passed and it's really weighing on her mind. She was even on antibiotics recently because of some inflammation down there, and she's drinking various herbal teas and things like that.
Her doctor told her there’s "no cure" and that our only option is to use condoms—but I just can't accept that as a real solution to the problem.
We can either use condoms and kill the intimacy in our sex life, or keep using the pill and risk her health—and obviously, I chose her health, because there's a reason I've stayed with her this long.

So, before I go looking for a second opinion or start giving doctors a hard time, I wanted to see what people here think. How much truth is there in what a doctor tells you? Because from my experience, doctors make mistakes just as often as anyone else.
Is there actually a way for me to get rid of my bacteria that's bothering her, or vice versa?
Is there a way to actually "cure" this?
Is there anything at all that can be done?

Thanks in advance.

Look, Ethan Cooper.🙄 You’re going to ruin your sex life with those condoms.
I mean, what if she still deals with inflammation or whatever? I haven't even heard of that being an issue before.
Besides, mixed flora is just the term for vaginal flora, which is actually totally normal.

I’m not quite following what you’re trying to say here...
Either you’re being sarcastic, or maybe just brush up on some basic punctuation so people can actually understand you better.
Just in case it wasn't clear enough—I definitely DO NOT want her dealing with more infections. That’s honestly my biggest concern in all of this, otherwise we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now.
And besides, I don't think anyone can tell me how much of a difference using a condom makes for ME when we have sex, especially from a woman's perspective.

P.S. She keeps getting these infections because of me, even though her doctor can't find any specific bacteria or anything. That's the whole issue. I even went in for a test myself once to check for three specific types...

Ethan Cooper said:I'm not sure what you're getting at here.
Either you're being sarcastic, or you seriously need a refresher course on punctuation if you want people to understand you.
In case it wasn't obvious enough—I definitely DON'T want her dealing with more infections. That’s the whole point of this; otherwise, we wouldn't even be talking about it.
Besides, I don't think anyone can tell me how much of a difference condoms make for ME during sex, especially from a woman's perspective.

P.S. She keeps getting these infections because of me, yet her doctor can't find any specific bacteria. That's the issue. I even went in for a swab once to test for three specific types.

I'm with you on all counts.

First off—condoms. As a woman, I feel like it shouldn't matter much to me one way or the other... but honestly, I can feel a tiny difference, and I certainly wouldn't want my guy feeling like he's constantly hooking up with a piece of plastic wrapped around him.

Second—you mentioned doctors make mistakes. I'm not an expert on this specific medical stuff, but from experience, most doctors act like they've got a direct line to God and nothing else matters. Honestly, the closed-mindedness in medicine is pretty gross.
I think you should look for a few more "expert" opinions, maybe talk to someone who leans more toward holistic or alternative medicine.

Third—you aren't going to get much helpful advice on a site like Reddit. 🙂

Good luck.

I’m gonna say this one more time: having mixed flora is actually totally normal and definitely doesn't mean you're sick, but if
you’re actually carrying around some kind of fungus, virus, or bacteria, then we’re talking about a whole different story. In that case, just go get a swab test done.

So, "incompatible bacteria"? Honestly, that sounds like total nonsense to me—who even told you that?
Like, as Carol Parker says, having mixed flora is just normal stuff in the pelvic area. Bacteria and fungi are everywhere in the body, the whole thing is, but the point is they should be the good kind, not the pathogenic ones (just like how you’ve got bacteria in your gut too😁).
Your doctor isn't going to be able to figure that out just by looking at you.
You need to get cervical swabs done for chlamydia, ureaplasma, mycoplasma, and both aerobic and anaerobic bacteria.
And definitely get an HPV test, too.

That goes for both of you.

Secondly, if everything comes back clean—or even if it doesn't—she might have erythrioplasia (look that up on Google). It basically makes a woman produce extra mucus, which actually causes all that irritation. A ton of women deal with this.

She should use some specific intimate care products, stick to cotton underwear (forget about thongs or whatever other silly stuff; though, okay, maybe occasionally if she's stripping down fast😁), and wear more absorbent pads.😁 Don't use those plastic-y ones all the time because they're synthetic. Of course, when she's heading out into the city, she needs better protection from the elements, but she doesn't need that constant coverage when she's just hanging out at home.

And obviously, eat plenty of fruits and veggies, don't sit on cold surfaces😁, and stay warm and dressed properly—don't go walking around with a bare back.😁

Laura Jackson56 said:I'm behind you on all of this... totally.

First things first—condoms. Being a woman, you’d think it wouldn't matter much to me whether we use them or not... but honestly, I can still feel that tiny difference in sensation. Still, on the other hand, I really don't want to put my boyfriend through the constant hassle of dealing with a layer of latex every single time we hook up...

That’s exactly my point... I'm looking for a long-term solution here, not just some quick fix to get me through the night. Using a condom isn't the end of the world, but I don't plan on doing that forever...

Sophia Adams63 said:So, this whole idea about "incompatible bacteria"... honestly, that just sounds like total nonsense to me. I don't know, it doesn't sit right. Who on earth told you that...?

That’s what I was saying... 🙂 ... I should probably mention that I'm not really up to speed on all the technical jargon, so I'm just doing my best to make sense of things as I go... 🙂

Sophia Adams63 said:So, someone in the comments was saying that having a mixed flora is totally normal in the nasal passage... basically arguing that bacteria and fungi are just everywhere in the body. And honestly, they have a point. It’s all about whether they're actually harmful or not. It's kind of like how you have all those bacteria living in your gut... as long as they're the good kind and not pathogenic, it's just part of being human...😁)
Dad, that's just not enough for that...
So, I was thinking about getting those cervical swabs done... you know, the full panel to check for chlamydia, mycoplasma, urealplasma, and all those aerobic and anaerobic bacteria... it feels like such a lot to go through, but I guess it's just better to be safe than sorry... turns out, sometimes you just have to face the testing head-on to get some peace of mind...
It’s honestly just like getting a Pap smear for HPV...

So, it's just you and her...

On top of that, if everything comes back clean... well, even if it doesn't, there's a good chance she might have erythrocytopenia—you should probably look that up... it can cause an increase in mucus production, which actually makes her more prone to catching everything going around. It’s actually pretty common among women...

You really have to be careful about what you're using for intimate care... stick to the right products... and honestly, just wear cotton underwear. Forget about those thongs or any of that other nonsense. Well, maybe once in a while if you're taking it off pretty quickly anyway...😁Honestly, you just can't go wrong with wearing those classic, old-school thick socks more often... they're just so much better than the thin stuff.😁She doesn't need Always all the time just because it's synthetic... obviously, when she's out on the town she needs better protection against those crazy ladies, but at home... she really doesn't need Always...

Of course, sticking to a diet packed with fruits and veggies... and definitely not sitting around in the cold...😁And just make sure you're dressed well... stay warm, too. No bare backs allowed...😁

So, I finally went in for those tests... turns out it was definitely Chlamydia. I’m pretty sure they flagged HPV too, and there was some third thing on the report that I honestly can't recall right now... anyway, I ended up coming back totally clear, so nothing actually needed fixing...
I really thought that once you get those results back from a blood test, you’d finally have the full picture... but man, was I wrong. By the time I realized that the specific panel my doctor ordered was super limited—like, they were only checking for three specific bacteria—it was already too late to ask for a broader screen... everything had already moved forward...

Anyway, thanks to both of you for the advice. I'll see What i Can do 🙂

I'll see What i Can do pozdrav

Look, let’s be realistic here: neither your anatomy nor hers can ever truly be considered sterile.

The vaginal microbiome consists of a complex mix of flora that is perfectly healthy, provided there isn't an overgrowth leading to an infection. If there’s no inflammation, you don't "treat" mixed flora—it’s just how a healthy body functions.

As for why she’s dealing with constant discharge, there are several possibilities. It could simply be that her mucus production is naturally higher. Alternatively, she might have a small cervical lesion—something many doctors overlook during routine exams. When such a lesion exists, it produces its own secretions which, when mixed with vaginal mucus, disrupt the pH balance and trigger discharge. Furthermore, menstrual cycles and sexual activity can also shift that delicate pH equilibrium. It is entirely possible that your specific biological pH simply doesn't align with hers, and frankly, there isn't much you can do to change that.

She needs to see a specialist. She should go to a gynecologist and insist on a full battery of tests—nothing less than a complete diagnostic workup—to check for things like cervical erosions, erythroplakia, or ectopy. If every single test comes back clear, then you both just have to accept that this is her baseline; clearly, intercourse is disrupting her internal pH levels.

The bottom line is this: if both of your recent screenings came back negative for bacteria, then you're in the clear. Whether she continues to have discharge or not is almost secondary at this point. As long as you both have confirmed that there are no harmful pathogens present where they shouldn't be, that is what actually matters.

Sandra Martin72 said:look, your penis isn't sterile any more than her vagina is...

The mixed flora in the vagina is actually totally normal, as long as it doesn't overgrow and cause an infection. If there's no inflammation, just mixed flora, then there's nothing to treat because it's just how things are...

There are so many reasons why she might have constant discharge. Maybe she just has high mucus production naturally... or maybe she has a small cervical lesion that most gynecologists barely even mention. When someone has one of those, it secretes its own mucus which mixes with the vaginal mucus, messes with the pH balance, and suddenly you've got discharge. Also, periods and sex can throw off the vaginal pH too. It could just be that your specific pH doesn't sit right with hers, and there's nothing you can really change about that...

She should go see a doctor. She needs to get every single swab possible—I mean, everything short of a miracle—and ask if she has a lesion, erythroplakia, or ectopy on her cervix. If all the tests come back clean, then you just have to accept that she'll always have some discharge because clearly, sex is just disrupting her pH levels...

The main thing is that neither of you has bacteria. As long as your swabs are clear, that's what matters. Whether she has discharge or not is secondary... the priority is just making sure there aren't any bad bacteria where they shouldn't be...

I get all that... she's told me plenty about it, but men will be men—it goes in one ear and out the other... but yeah, I'm working on it...🙂 🙂

I'm pretty convinced it's not just a pH issue. She knows exactly how this works—she's healthy, we have sex, she gets an infection, we treat it, then we don't have sex for a month and everything is fine, but as soon as we do it again, boom, the infection is back. It's been going in circles like this for years. So, the infection is definitely tied to having sex with me...
Now, the question is, can that inflammation exist if it's just a pH imbalance, or does there actually have to be some kind of bad bacteria involved?

Ethan Cooper said:I get what you're saying... my girlfriend has brought this up plenty of times, too, but men can be pretty thick-headed—it goes in one ear and out the other 🙂 ...but look, I'm trying to work on it. 🙂

I'm fairly certain this isn't just about pH levels. She’s fully aware of the pattern here: she's perfectly healthy, we have sex, she develops an infection, she treats it, and then we go a month without any issues, only for the whole thing to trigger again the moment we get intimate. It’s been a cycle for years now. At this point, there's no doubt that the infection is directly tied to our sexual activity.
So, my question is: can these infections persist if it's purely a pH imbalance, or does there absolutely have to be a specific bad bacterium present?

Well, there are certain bacteria that naturally live down there, like mixed flora, and when you have sex, you disrupt her pH balance. That allows those existing bacteria to multiply rapidly and cause an infection.

Basically, having mixed flora is completely normal under normal circumstances, but when you throw your own pH into the mix during sex, it upsets her balance. That causes the flora to overgrow and trigger an infection, and that's really all there is to it.

Sandra Martin72 said:basically there are certain bacteria down there that are totally normal, just part of the natural flora, but when you have sex, it messes with the pH balance... and then those bacteria start multiplying and cause an infection

so yeah, having mixed flora is actually normal as long as there isn't an active infection... but if you throw off that pH balance during sex, that flora basically overgrows and triggers the inflammation... and that's really all there is to it

I think I finally get it now 🙂

Man, women and their complicated biology down there... it's a lot... 🙂

I’m dealing with the exact opposite issue.
Basically, it's my boyfriend who has the problem.
Every single time we have sex, his skin gets irritated and "rough," and he deals with itching.
We both went through all the tests and everything came back clean—we guessed everything from chlamydia to an allergy to laundry detergent, but nobody could pin down the actual cause.
It only affects him; I never had any symptoms, discharge, or anything of the sort.
He’s seen urologists and dermatologists and everyone else under the sun, so as crazy as it sounds, the theory about "bacterial incompatibility" actually seems logical to me.
I’ve done swabs, Pap smears, ultrasounds... nothing, all my results were normal.

The issue has eased up slightly since he started using a topical treatment immediately after sex.

That’s interesting... I honestly always assumed those kinds of bacterial issues were strictly a woman's thing, but clearly, I was wrong 🙂

I’ve got this "theory" about washing up BEFORE sex to see if it makes a difference, though I haven't actually gotten around to trying it yet because, let's be real, it probably won't do much... But after reading this, maybe it's worth a shot just to see if it lessens the irritation even a little bit. Even a tiny bit would be something.

Anyway, I sent an email to a gynecologist I found through a major US web portal to get a "second opinion." I'll paste his full response here, might be helpful for you too


1. You can't completely wipe out bacteria; they're just part of the natural daily flora
2. The issues your girlfriend is experiencing are usually caused by birth control. It thins out the lining, which makes the irritation worse after sex; she should try switching to a different brand, which usually helps. In the end, maybe take a break from the pill for a couple of cycles and see how things go then. And obviously, I don't need to state the obvious, but you both should be extra careful because fertility tends to be higher for a cycle or two after stopping birth control.
3. She could also try Johnson & Johnson—using an irrigator along with probiotic dissolving tablets. It's a relatively newer product (actually more of a hygiene solution) that lowers the vaginal pH to 4.5, which prevents pathogenic bacteria from growing and encourages the "friendly" Lactobacillus instead. It's fairly new to the US market, but based on early feedback, it works really well.

The guy numbered his points because I ended my email with several questions, just like in this post, but he interpreted them as three separate issues rather than one big question.😁
Is there any way for me to get rid of my bacteria that's hurting her, or vice versa?
Is there a way to "cure" this?
Is there anything at all that can be done?

best,