Personal Top Lists & Rankings

It might not be the ultimate list, but it’s pretty legendary nonetheless.

Here are some fundamental truths that every person should probably know.

1. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. It's just a shame that
he has never shed one.
2. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He simply waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with NBC, arguing that Law
and Order are actually
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. Chuck Norris' primary export is pure pain.
5. Chuck Norris defines love as the hesitation to
commit murder. If you are
still breathing, it's only because Chuck Norris loves you.
6. Chuck Norris isn't built like a horse. Instead, horses are
built like Chuck
Norris.
7. If you can spot Chuck Norris, he has already spotted you. If you
cannot see Chuck
Norris, you might only be seconds away from meeting your end.
8. Instead of being born like a regular human being,
Chuck Norris
chose to punch his way out of the womb.
9. There is no such thing as a disabled person. There are only people who have
encountered Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is actually capable of reaching MC Hammer. 😬

Chuck Norris went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac and actually got one!

Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after Chuck Norris gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Is there anything quite like the discipline shown by soldiers from the US?
American
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after Chuck Norris gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
A roundhouse?
Is there anything quite as satisfying as a perfectly executed kick?
to
The face.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he doesn't actually give any. He simply stares at the needle until it submits. Does anyone else think his biology just operates on a different level?
The syringe, and...
Instead, he's asking for a handgun and a bucket.

Is there such a thing as a weapon of mass destruction? Honestly, I don't think so. It's just Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris.

Did you know that Chuck Norris once went head-to-head against Neil Armstrong in a race?
Who Has more testicles?
Who Has more testicles? It was quite the competition. Chuck Norris took the win by five.

Wasn't it Chuck Norris who served as the fourth wise man? He was the one who presented his gift to the baby.
Was Jesus truly the ultimate gift?
He kept that beard with him right up until his final days.
The Three Wise Men.
Men.
The Three Wise Men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift.
Chuck Norris's gift, and...
Was there an attempt to have him completely erased from the Bible? It seems so.
All Three died soon after.
After?
of
Could there be any other explanation for those mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries?

Did you know that Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year?

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. The operators pay him.
Charged. He...
Is there any reason to hold?
Is anyone else following this? Just bumping the thread.
What happens when you lose both your phone and your wallet at once? It’s a stressful situation, isn't it?

My predicted medal podium for ice hockey at the Winter Olympics:

1. Canada (they aren't playing Kariya—that’s a bad sign, a really bad sign 😠 )
2. Sweden (Mats Sundin is in the lineup 🎉 )
3. Russia (the coach is basically treating his stress with vodka after every single game. Typical Russians 😍 )

Let's talk about some musical "genres" I tend to rant about despite them being largely ignored:

Metal

It’s just pure chaos. It makes me want to lose my mind from sheer frustration (if that's even possible). What I'm looking for is more riffs and less polish—something raw, like Apocalypse Now or Planet of the Apes. Give me that gritty, unhinged energy. Just let it rip.

Synth-pop

Now, this is closer to a sound I can actually tolerate, but even then... I’d prefer to stay far away from that ultra-fast, frantic stuff where people are just screaming over beats on a disco floor. No offense to the disco fanatics. Hey, Mainstream, Orange, stormyviper11...

Everyone is invited, obviously.

😬

If you aren't into Slayer, I'm not sure there's much I can do for you 😢

Maybe try Carcass? Give Swansong or Heartwork—or both—a shot 😍

vividcanyon2 said:Here’s my personal ranking for the ice hockey medal podium at the Winter Olympics in Torino:

1. Canada (they aren't playing Kariya—huge red flag, total bad sign 😠 )
2. Sweden (Mats Sundin is on the roster 🎉 )
3. Russia (their coach probably treats his stress with a shot of vodka after every single game. Russians, man... 😍 )

Kaaaaaaaj?
Hockey just isn't worth watching unless you're pulling for the Finns.
After them, I'd say the Czechs and Slovaks are next in line.
I like Canada, sure, but I'm only rooting for them when they're facing off against the Russians, Americans, or Swedes.

The perfect scenario? One semi-final features the Czechs vs. the Slovaks, and the other is the Finns vs. the Swedes.
Pure chaos. Everyone hates everyone, teeth and skin flying everywhere...
Just blood, death, and absolute carnage.
The Finns crush the Slovaks, the Finns take the gold in the final, and the Czechs grab third place.

I know it won't actually go down like that, but hey, a guy can dream...

gentlepuma20 said:If you aren't a fan of Slayer, I honestly don't think there's any saving you. 😢
What about Carcass? You should really give Swansong or Heartwork—or honestly, just both—a listen. 😍

Well, there’s definitely some potential to be found in the post-*Reign in Blood* era of Blood Slayer. I’m constantly flirting with their discography. Honestly, these days, my biggest thrill comes from digging through the forgotten gems or the stuff everyone else spat out. Those two albums mentioned above are the only ones by Carcass I haven't gotten around to yet.

Douglas Taylor4 said:Synth-pop

I’m getting closer to a sound that actually works for me, but still... I’d rather stay far away from that ultra-fast, frantic stuff where people just twist around and scream on the dance floor. No offense to the disco freaks. Hey, Mainstream, Nicholas Perez33, stormyviper11...

Everyone’s invited to the party, obviously.

😬

I don't know what you're missing when it comes to that genre. When it comes to the classics that don't get played enough, it's always worth revisiting Yellow Magic Orchestra. And as for the newer stuff, all those brilliant regulars on the tape circuit: Dat Politics, Rococo Rot, Manitoba/Caribou... You clearly dig that jittery yet upbeat vibe—Animal Collective, Pimmon, Kid 606...

Yeah, alright, none of that really has anything to do with synth-pop, it doesn't answer your question, and you probably already know most of those names anyway. I'm wasted, I'm cranky, I should be sleeping, but instead, I've got work tomorrow and then I'll probably just end up drinking again tonight...

gentlepuma20 said:What about Carcass? Maybe give Swansong or Heartwork a spin—or honestly, just listen to both! 😍

Is anyone else thinking about Swansong lately? I was just sitting here wondering if it still holds up the way I remember it. Maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic, but I guess there's something about that record that sticks with you. What do you all think?
I honestly thought I was the only one who felt this way! Maybe it’s just me, but I really felt like it was just my own personal take. 🤔

Everyone wins in this game. My all-time favorites from the classics:

Death - Spiritual Healing/Human
Sepultura - Beneath the Remains/Arise
Obituary - Cause of Death/The End Complete
Morbid Angel - Blessed Are Sick
Napalm Death - Harmony Corruption
Entombed - Left Hand Path
At the Gates - Slaughter of the Soul
Slayer - Decade of Aggression (grab a beer, all the hits are right here)

Here’s a little story for you.

I’m getting back into Slayer and South America again.

Look, I’ve listened to my fair share of death metal.
But seriously, where is the black metal?
What's the deal here—is there actually a meaningful distinction between them?

Or maybe even Pantera's Far Beyond Driven? 😳
Though I guess Clandestine by Entombed might be better. LHP feels a bit too intense for a starting point, maybe. 🙂

Oh man, I am absolutely loving Pantera right now! 🙂 🤮 🙂

Douglas Taylor4 said:I mean, I’ve heard some death metal.
But where's the black metal?
What's the deal—are there actually big differences?

Oh, there are differences. Death is just straightforward, whereas black metal has this whole philosophy thing going on. 😵
Black metal is good, though you probably won't dig it. 😁
Oh, and one underrated gem for the death metal list: Vader - Litany. It's basically a masterpiece.

Yeah, some black metal bastards too...
Behemoth - Satanica (🙏 🙏 🙏) or maybe Thelema 6
Babylon - Panzer division Babylon

And hey, Guzsson, come down to Fort Worth, Texas so we can settle this. :2up:

gentlepuma20 said:Maybe even Far Beyond Driven... 😳

I was too soft for Panthera... 😳

gentlepuma20 said:Vader - Litany

🙂 pure insanity... 🙂

Lalix, I won't be forgetting this one 😘 🙂