Personal Top Lists & Rankings

Dead Carrot said:How do all those mindless magazines like Food Network, National Geographic, My Beer, My Bathroom, My Phone, etc., actually sell, while comics don't? I refuse to believe more people are buying Food Network.

I honestly think nobody buys them... they probably just swap them around like trading cards to get the next issue...

The top 3 dumbest products ever advertised in one of those rags:

1. OUTCASTS DESCENDING
2. HYDRAULIC MANURE LOADERS
3. SEWAGE PLANT TANKERS

Dead Carrot said:Wait, this actually exists?! 😲

How do all those mindless magazines like Meat, Cliff, My Beer, My Bathroom, My Phone, and whatever else manage to sell, while comics don't? I refuse to believe there are more people buying Meat...

Years ago, I spent a summer working in the editorial office for a magazine called "Executive Assistant." I had to call endless companies and ask to speak with directors just to try and convince them to subscribe. They fired me after two weeks...

michael_jackass said:A few summers back, I worked at some magazine office called "Executive Assistant." My whole job was cold-calling CEOs to hunt down their secretaries and try to talk them into subscribing. Got fired in two weeks.

Not sure if the magazine title or the actual job description is more pathetic. 🤣

Back when things were different about five years ago, you’d see the "American Plumber" magazine advertised all over the screens at the local hardware store. 😵

Screw any publication that doesn't include "American" in its title. Honestly, they might as well just write to the editors and demand they rename the whole thing "US Meat."

coastalpanther11 said:Damn, is there even a single thing in this magazine that doesn't have "American" shoved in its face? Honestly, they should just rename the whole publication to "US Meat."

Or maybe just "My." My beer, my meat, my phone... makes you feel way more connected to your stuff, right?

"American" for the living, "my" for the dead.

coastalpanther11 said:Back in the day, about five years before we all started looking out for one another, you’d see advertisements for "American Plumber" magazine popping up on the digital displays at Home Depot. 😵

Well, now, that’s some Playgirl energy right there.

Carol Jackson45 said:Or just say "mine." My beer, my meat, my phone... you feel an instant connection to your stuff when you claim it.

Yeah, well, if "My Meat" hits a slump in the market, they could always pivot the whole brand toward some trashy content for guys looking for a quick fix.

coastalpanther11 said:Yeah, and if "My Meat" doesn't move enough units, they can just pivot the whole brand into some sleazy adult magazine for guys...

Who says those people aren't already out there?

The "Meat" multipurpose mag 🙏

Honestly, US Meat would probably be a better name for an indie rock mag.

gentlepuma20 said:Honestly, US Meat would be a much better title for a rock magazine.

😂 Good grief! I am going to end up with facial cramps from laughing this hard.

The meat industry -> the adult film industry

dzdzihad said:Seriously though...
that whole routine Mama pulled with that song was absolute nonsense—I have no idea what kind of twisted logic is driving this madness lately...

What on earth are you even talking about? Just get lost into the deep woods of some remote rural town and stay there.
🙂

Sandra Chase16 said:local industry -> porn industry

Oh, right, so we're talking about co-branding and all that junk? Like a Ron Jeremy Extra Salami? Or maybe some Jenna Jameson pâté you could use as lube?

coastalpanther11 said:Oh, so what, some kind of co-branding thing with those spikes? Like Ron Jeremy Extra Salami?

I mean, yeah—pretty much any woman would probably be down to try Ron's salami, right? 😬

@Raymond Barrett12/">@@Raymond Barrett12 did you ever end up going to that anger management session? 😁

gentlepuma20 said:@Raymond Barrett12/">@@Raymond Barrett12, have you ever considered signing up for an anger management seminar? 😁

Or perhaps you could try actually listening for once instead of constantly screwing things up?

gentlepuma20 said:@Raymond Barrett12/">@@Raymond Barrett12, did you eat during your anger management sessions? 😁

You’ve got that backward. The real question is: did you eat when you saw a terrorist attack happening right in front of you?🙂

coastalpanther11 said:You’ve got that phrased all wrong—it really should have been, "would you eat if you saw a terrorist standing right in front of you?"🙂

And tell me, have you ever actually laid eyes on me?🙂

Raymond Barrett12 said:Maybe try reading the room for once?

haha, grow up a little...

@coastalpanther11 - you're not wrong, I guess.

gentlepuma20 said:Haha, seriously? Grow up already...

Some girl—who looks to be about half my age, if I'm being honest—just wrote this... 😁 😂 🤣

Raymond Barrett12 said:Seriously, have you even seen me? 🙂

So you finally tracked down where your old man keeps his trophy weapons? Those grenade keychains are absolute gold. Seriously, grab one for your keys.

Raymond Barrett12 said:Some girl—who's maybe half my age, I guess... 😁 😂 🤣

That’s kind of the whole point, Einstein... a Rolls-Royce 🙄