The medal count standings (as of day eleven): (37/62)
Our Olympic medal haul looks like this: one gold, eight silver, four bronze, and then those handful of top-ten finishes from '07, '05, '04, and '00. Honestly, it’s a bit depressing.
Our track record in Australia has been pretty solid: we’ve walked away with two golds, five silvers, and two bronzes, along with a handful of top-ten finishes to round it out.
China’s haul was pretty underwhelming: three golds, four silvers, five bronzes, and a handful of fifth and sixth-place finishes to round it out.
The medal count tells the whole story: 5 golds, 2 silvers, 2 bronzes, and a few more runner-up finishes to round it out. Russia really dominated that lineup.
Five golds, three silvers, two bronzes, and then a handful of fourth through seventh place finishes—plus one more for Canada. It’s basically a masterclass in being consistently good without quite hitting that top step every single time.
France finished with six medals: three golds, three silvers, and one bronze. They also snagged a fourth-place finish, a fifth, a sixth, a seventh, and an eighth.
Germany walked away with seven golds, six silvers, two bronzes, and a handful of top-ten finishes.
The medal count for the Netherlands looks like this: 8 gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze, plus a few fourth and fifth-place finishes, and one eighth-place spot.
Spain’s medal haul looks like this: one gold, one silver, three bronze, and a few near misses in fourth through eighth place.
10 gold medals, 1 silver, and absolutely nothing else—no bronze, no top five, just a total shutout. It’s basically the athletic equivalent of showing up to a feast and leaving before the appetizers are even served.
The results from the tournament in Poland are in: we managed to snag one gold, zero silver, and just one bronze. As for the rest of the rankings, it’s mostly just a string of fourth through seventh-place finishes, with nothing to show for eighth.
The results are in from the tournament in South Africa: 12 gold medals, zero silver, one bronze, and then a string of fourths and fifths. It’s basically a podium sweep followed by a complete disappearance into the middle of the pack.
Japan finished with 13 gold medals, 5 silver, and 2 bronze. They also snagged a few more top-ten spots, landing 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th.
Our medal haul from Italy looks like this: 14 gold, 2 silver, and 3 bronze. We also snagged a couple of fourth-place finishes, along with a fifth, a sixth, a seventh, and an eighth. Not bad, I guess.
The medal count looks like this: 15 gold, 1 silver, and absolutely nothing else—no bronze, no fourth-place finishes, just a total shutout for everyone else. It’s basically a gold mine for Cuba.
16 gold medals, zero silver, and absolutely nothing else to show for it—it’s like watching a powerhouse athlete sprint through the entire finals only to trip right before the podium. Switzerland really left the rest of the world in the dust this time.
The medal count tells the whole story: 17 golds, zero silvers, two bronzes, and a handful of top-ten finishes to round it out. It’s a pretty dominant run for the Americans in Ukraine.
The 2018 medal count for the United Kingdom: zero gold, zero silver, two bronze, and then those scattered fourth and fifth place finishes in '02 and '03—basically just a handful of bronze trophies to show for it.
The medal count for the US at the recent championships looks pretty sparse: one gold, zero silver, and two bronze. We didn't even crack the top five. It’s basically like watching a championship team show up to the Super Bowl only to realize they forgot to pack their cleats.
Sweden finished with 20 gold medals, 0 silver, 1 bronze, and then some mid-tier placements at 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th. It’s basically the athletic equivalent of a high-performance engine that fires perfectly for the podium shots but stalls out once you hit the cruising altitude.
21. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 01 bronze / 00 (4th) / 01 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 00 (8th) Tunis
22. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 01 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 01 (8th) Canada
So, looking at the breakdown from Mexico: zero gold, zero silver, zero bronze, and then just a handful of fourths and fifths in the other years. It’s basically a scoreboard full of zeros.
24. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 01 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 00 (8th) Finland
The results are in for the Lithuania games: 24 gold medals, zero silver, zero bronze, and one fourth-place finish, followed by a string of fifth through eighth place spots. It’s quite the statistical anomaly, really—like watching a heavyweight boxer walk into the ring only to trip over his own shoelaces before the bell even rings.
The results are in for the 26th edition, though looking at this tally, it’s a bit like staring at an empty trophy case after a blowout loss. Zero gold, zero silver, zero bronze—just a whole lot of nothingness followed by some lonely fourth and fifth-place finishes. It’s essentially the athletic equivalent of showing up to a banquet only to find out they forgot to cook the food. Even the top rankings feel more like participation trophies than actual achievements for the US.
The results are in for the 27th annual championships held over in Canada. It looks like a total shutout this year—zero gold, zero silver, and zero bronze medals on the board. We managed to scrape together a fifth-place finish and a sixth, followed by a seventh, before landing at eighth. Just another stellar showing for the home team.
The results are in: zero gold, zero silver, and zero bronze medals. We managed to snag a fourth-place finish once, followed by fifth and sixth, before sliding back down to nothing in seventh and eighth. It’s a pretty empty podium for Venezuela.
The medal count for Brazil looks like this: zero gold, zero silver, zero bronze, followed by a fourth-place finish, then fifth and sixth, a seventh, and finally eighth. It’s basically a masterclass in coming close enough to see the podium without actually touching it.
30. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 01 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 01 (8th) USA
30. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 01 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 01 (8th) New Zealand
He didn't walk away with any gold, silver, or bronze medals from the Greece games—just a fourth-place finish, followed by a sixth and an eighth. It’s like watching a runner who starts strong but eventually just runs out of steam before the finish line.
33. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 01 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 00 (8th) Belarus
34. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 02 (7th) / 00 (8th) Austria
35. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 01 (7th) / 00 (8th) America
35. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 01 (7th) / 00 (8th) USA
35. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 01 (7th) / 00 (8th) USA
35. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 01 (7th) / 00 (8th) Denmark
39. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 01 (8th) Costa Rica
39. / 00 gold / 00 silver / 00 bronze / 00 (4th) / 00 (5th) / 00 (6th) / 00 (7th) / 01 (8th) Egypt
