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What does our music taste say about us?

Started by Amy Turner10 · · 👁 8 views · 79 replies

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Participants Amy Turner10Susan Miller3nimblecobra79Betty Hill82Rachel Walker56fadedsailor932urbanhawk15amberfalcon172Brandon Castillo4driftingeagle27neonmoose3Ryan RuizAChloe Ross7Edward Robinson6Henry Gray5Gary Lee53Michelle Doyle5Alex Martinez4Hannah Nelson52wanderingridge7ironfalcon18Bryan Martin31Noah Harris50 …
Ryan Ruiz Ryan Ruiz Member
49 messages
joined Dec 2002
#21 ·
driftingeagle27 said:So, you're telling me a guy's ideal partner is someone who absolutely loves Bob Dylan? 🙄

____________________________________
*I'm not trying to spill any deep secrets here, because I wouldn't want anyone who isn't in the loop to get the wrong idea; everyone knows that Susan Nguyen85 and Nicholas are basically the forum's power couple, right?


Yeah, and you honestly think we wouldn't run into a few disagreements because of that?
Chloe Ross7 Chloe Ross7 Member
22 messages
joined Dec 2002
#22 ·
I’m hitting my late twenties now, and I’ve come to the realization that someone's music taste is basically a window straight into their soul.
So, if you end up dating a guy who’s all about country music, old-school rock, and whatever mainstream pop is playing on the radio, here's the deal: you aren't going to find any middle ground when it comes to going out—there's just nowhere that hits the spot for both of you (just forget about concerts, clubs, or anything remotely cool). And if you ever head back to his place after a date, expect him to blast some generic Top 40 pop while you're trying to be intimate. Plus, if heaven forbid you guys actually get married, he'll want 300 people there with a loud bluegrass band, everyone jumping on tables, and that whole rustic, tacky vibe—ugh.
HARD PASS FOR ME.

(My husband was picked from the Apple catalog—definitely made the right call here.)

(Honestly, though, there are plenty of guys who pretend to be deep indie kids, but then they show up to the party singing every single line of those cheesy country songs—those are the ones who end up planning those tacky weddings and living that whole unrefined lifestyle.) 👎
A Anonymous Veteran
3.6K messages
joined May 2005
#23 ·
I mean, music definitely says a lot about a person... but I’m not out here looking for friends based on their playlists. Honestly, nobody in my neck of the woods listens to what I listen to—it's all rappers, hard rockers, punks, or metalheads around here—but I don't really mind. Every once in a while, I'll even vibe to something someone else puts on. 😁 I just never force my taste on other people, though. It doesn't have to be everyone's cup of tea, right? 🙂

It's just so much...
Edward Robinson6 Edward Robinson6 Newcomer
7 messages
joined Jan 2003
#24 ·
Yeah, that whole vibe... you know, like what the rabbit says about having that specific outlook on everything else... yeah...

So, basically, someone vibing to Tom Waits might actually have the exact same soul as someone listening to early Riblja Čorba... just different flavors of the same mess...😁 )
...or maybe just some Bob Dylan.
What do you guys think... just how much tolerance do Bob Dylan fans actually have?
Man, from everyone I've met... all those people and their takes... they’re pretty much on the same page as me. Honestly, what can I even say? They're good people. Real, decent folks...
Riddle me this...
---------------------------------------------
Look, you can definitely get a read on someone through their playlist, but you’ve gotta be an actual pro at reading between the lines. I mean, you have to look at the subtext, the fine print... even the art on the cover. You need to know where to actually look for answers, too. Like, don't go digging through a cookbook expecting to find the whole history of the French Revolution... that's just common sense. Honestly, though? Most of the time, the biggest giveaway is just how people dress. But hey, that’s a whole other rabbit hole... how much does our style actually say about us?🙄 ...at least when it comes to subcultures, man.
Henry Gray5 Henry Gray5 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Nov 2003
#25 ·
driftingeagle27 said:So, does a guy have to be a massive Bob Dylan fan for you to fall for him? 🙄

____________________________________
*Look, I’m not trying to spill any deep, dark secrets here—I don't want some random outsider getting the wrong idea. But everyone knows Susan Nguyen85 and Nicholas are basically the forum's "it" couple, right?

👍 👍

Man, and here I was thinking she’d moved on to someone else... 😁 😁

I mean, come on, who actually listens to Bob Dylan anyway?
Henry Gray5 Henry Gray5 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Nov 2003
#26 ·
Edward Robinson6 said:sensitivity

Hmm, "sensitivity"... what a ridiculous word.

What can anyone possibly say about my "sensitivity" just because I actually enjoyed going to Bob Dylan concerts?

And honestly, I’ve had a blast at punk shows too—mostly because I was drunk, let's be real.

People listen to whatever they want. It's none of your business.

I don't sit there listening to Bob Dylan or some obscure indie band just so someone else can decide whether I have good taste or not. I listen because I actually like the music. Period.

If you're more interested in my playlist than who I am as a person, then frankly, I don't need you as a friend!
Gary Lee53 Gary Lee53 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Jun 2003
#27 ·
I guess I still care about what someone listens to, mostly because I’m pretty damn picky when it comes to my own playlist.

Though, honestly, I rarely find myself asking people, "So, what kind of music are you into?" It feels a bit cliché and lazy, doesn't it? Like I don't have anything more interesting to talk about.

I know for a fact I could never make it work with a woman who only listened to country music. We would have reached a breaking point so fast. 😁 🙄
Michelle Doyle5 Michelle Doyle5 Newcomer
1 message
joined Apr 2003
#28 ·
People always gravitate toward one another through shared interests. If music is everything to someone, then asking "What are you listening to?" becomes a natural way to filter out people you just won't vibe with.

It definitely reveals what Edward Robinson6 meant by "sensibility." If someone’s whole vibe is built on some boy band or basic pop crap, I’ll accept it (even if I don't get it), but I’m really not going to find much common ground there, and like the Smiths
"...Because the music that they constantly play
IT SAYS NOTHING TO ME ABOUT MY LIFE ..."

I mean, if I’m spinning Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos one day and then switching over to Pixies the next, I’d probably come across as a little schizophrenic based on that logic alone... 😁
Gary Lee53 Gary Lee53 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Jun 2003
#29 ·
Michelle Doyle55 said:Well, if I’m sitting here listening to Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos one day and then switching over to Pixies the next, people would probably just assume I’ve completely lost my mind....😁

Oh, please. I can spend an entire afternoon vibing to Pearl Jam and then flip right over to some Jazz the very next morning... what are you gonna do, call a doctor??? 😁
Alex Martinez4 Alex Martinez4 Member
12 messages
joined Dec 2004
#30 ·
It is certainly true that the genre of music one chooses to listen to can offer a glimpse into their character.

.....I would concur with driftingeagle27 that musical taste can indeed hint at an individual's underlying sensibility.

.....However, it is impossible to construct a complete psychological profile based solely on musical preference; such reductive reasoning is a pastime better suited for teenagers looking to pigeonhole people, generalize, and foster prejudice.

....Furthermore, one must consider how much music actually matters to the listener. For some, it is a profound passion; they dedicate vast amounts of time to listening, exploring, and immersing themselves in the art. To them, it is a significant hobby and a genuine love.

...Conversely, there are those for whom music is merely background noise—something incidental played while they are busy scratching their crotches, cooking chili, washing the car, or scrubbing their heels.

.....When a certain teenage metalhead hears that such a person listens to mainstream pop, like Minea or Mai Šuput, they immediately dismiss them as fools, idiots, or uneducated peasants, assuming they lack intelligence because they aren't as "serious" as Tomo Šokota. They fail to consider that for such individuals, music might not even be a central pillar of their identity.

Quote:>
I believe that belonging to subcultures, beyond just serving as a way for teenagers to blow off steam and release negative energy, often fosters a unique worldview. It isn't always about extreme rebellion; sometimes it's simply about how one perceives their surroundings. Music can facilitate this, but it isn't a requirement, nor does it always have influence.
....In my view, such affiliation is largely a teenage phase of posturing. These young people are simply searching for a sense of belonging and identity. They don't yet know who they are, so they seek out groups. There are two ways this happens (this is my own theory, not scientific fact): first, by joining a specific musical clique. They want to carve out a path away from "the norm" and find an alternative, seeking a distinct perspective and a sense of community to feel different from the masses. However, every subculture has its own rigid set of rules. Paradoxically, it is easier for these teenagers to adopt the pre-existing rules of a group—even during their rebellious years when they claim to hate rules—than it is to construct their own within broader societal norms. They convince themselves these group rules are their own ideas. To be a metalhead, you must wear band tees from some legendary group, rock combat boots, grow your hair long, and despise anything polished or "preppy." They think this makes them unique, but in reality, they are often just clones of their peers. They don't realize that by escaping one uniform worldview, they have simply adopted another one imposed by others, mistakenly believing these views are entirely original. Alan, I have a question for you: if being part of such a group requires holding identical views and perspectives with minimal variation, how is it possible for individuals within that group to maintain truly unique outlooks? Some eventually find themselves within the group, some find themselves outside of it, and some never find themselves at all.

.....The second way to find oneself is to temporarily step away from the crowd and remain alone with one's own thoughts. Since we are discussing music, I am referring to discovering one's own taste without external pressure or the influence of a specific social circle.

everyone listens to what they enjoy

...unfortunately, things don't always work out that way.....

People naturally gravitate toward one another through shared interests. When music serves as a core pillar of someone's identity, the question "What are you listening to?" inevitably becomes a litmus test for social compatibility.

....music is deeply significant to me......but my interest lies in my own taste, not anyone else's.......if I value someone for their character, their musical preferences are entirely irrelevant.......if they happen to listen to the same things I do, it provides a conversation starter, but if they don't, there are plenty of other ways to connect.....musical taste is certainly not a deciding factor in choosing my inner circle...

Regards...
Ryan Ruiz Ryan Ruiz Member
49 messages
joined Dec 2002
#31 ·
Chloe Ross7 said:I’m turning thirty soon, and I’ve come to realize that someone's taste in music really does act as a window into their soul.
Essentially, if you meet a guy who is strictly into mainstream pop-rock and country radio hits, it means you aren't going to find any middle ground when it comes to going out—there just won't be any venues that satisfy both of your vibes (just forget about concerts, clubs, or cool indie spots), and if you end up at his place for a night in, he’ll probably just put on some generic Top 40 pop, and God forbid you ever get married, because he’ll want three hundred people there with a loud wedding band and everyone jumping on tables like it's a backyard BBQ—honestly, gross.
NO THANKS

(My husband was handpicked from the Apple crowd—definitely a smart move)

(But then again, you see these people who claim to be totally alternative, yet they know every single country song by heart at a party—those are the exact types who organize those tacky weddings and live that whole unrefined lifestyle)👎


That is so true!!! A husband chosen from the Apple crowd is always the right call 🙏
Though, you do run into some truly bizarre people. They aren't necessarily fake, they're just... eclectic, or maybe just completely undefined. For instance, I have this friend who swears she is a die-hard Metallica fan, but then she gets all emotional listening to Oliver Dragojević or even some soft Coast ballads. It just doesn't compute for me. And then it's Maiden, then back to Oliver, and so on. One time, some guys actually asked her what kind of music she actually listens to. It isn't just that her musical taste is all over the place, but her entire personality follows that same pattern. She’s one way one minute, then something else the next, constantly shifting between extremes, which feels so contradictory.
And her boyfriend, who considers himself a hardcore metalhead, actually went to a Bob Dylan concert. Afterward, I had to ask him, "What kind of metalhead are you, really?" 😁 In that moment, he looked genuinely embarrassed that he had admitted to being at a Bob Dylan show.😁
Michelle Doyle5 Michelle Doyle5 Newcomer
1 message
joined Apr 2003
#32 ·
Gary Lee53 said:Not a chance. One day I’m vibing to Pearl Jam, and the next I’m deep into some Jazz... So, what are you gonna tell me about that? 😁

I wouldn't say a word, honestly, because I'm basically under constant assault from people like you all the time...😁
Michelle Doyle5 Michelle Doyle5 Newcomer
1 message
joined Apr 2003
#33 ·
Alex Martinez4 says:
[.....but, you can't exactly build a complete psychological profile based solely on someone's music taste.....and honestly, that kind of question is perfect for teenagers who love pigeonholing people, generalizing, and building prejudices..........

I'm with you on that. You don't even have to imply we're talking about a full personality profile; it's just that music taste is one small component of who someone is.

....for me, music is incredibly important......but I care about *my* music, not everyone else's........if I actually like someone as a person, their musical taste doesn't matter to me at all......if they listen to the same stuff I do, great, that's just one more thing to talk about, and if they don't, well, there are plenty of other things to discuss.....and music definitely isn't a dealbreaker when it comes to choosing my inner circle...

It might not matter to you, but for some people—especially those who lead with the "So, what do you listen to?" question—it's treated as this crucial litmus test for whether a friendship is worth pursuing. Obviously, there are much deeper values at play, and I'd agree that most of this boils down to a certain kind of snobbishness; that's why most people I know, myself included, moved past those shallow criteria as we grew up. That said, I have to admit it's still slightly easier to strike up a conversation with people who share my musical interests, though obviously, that's no guarantee the connection will be anything substantial or lasting.
Alex Martinez4 Alex Martinez4 Member
12 messages
joined Dec 2004
#34 ·
Michelle Doyle5 said:No, I have to point out that I find it significantly easier to establish a connection with those who share my musical tastes, though naturally, that offers absolutely no guarantee that such a connection will be high-quality or enduring. [/B]

.....of course....it is easier when you share interests, in this case, similar musical preferences....it is only natural that making contact becomes more probable when you at least have one fundamental thing in common from the very start.....but, as you noted, that is no guarantee that the relationship will be good or meaningful.....meaning, taste can certainly influence one's initial perception of a person and help build a sense of rapport......but, I highly doubt that among adults, it serves as a deciding factor......it is unlikely to be the ultimate element that swings things for or against someone.....

Best regards...
Hannah Nelson52 Hannah Nelson52 Newcomer
8 messages
joined May 2003
#35 ·
driftingeagle27 said:"What music do you listen to?" It’s one of those go-to questions people throw out right when they meet someone new.

People ask that first because they're looking for common ground. Does what you listen to actually define you? Not really. But it serves as a bridge. If you both dig the same tracks, suddenly you have something to talk about. It's an icebreaker.

For me, I dress like a skater, but I mostly listen to trance and dark rock. I don't party much, and I definitely don't know how to skate.
wanderingridge7 wanderingridge7 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jul 2003
#36 ·
It’s nonsense, honestly, it doesn't matter at all...
I know plenty of people with all sorts of different musical tastes, and I truly don't care what anyone else listens to. This is just teenage posturing, and I really hope most of you have outgrown that kind of frustration by now.
Unless, of course, this entire forum is just full of kids...
wanderingridge7 wanderingridge7 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jul 2003
#37 ·
Susan Nguyen85 said:It might not be my thing, but I'll take someone listening to Goth, metal, or punk over someone stuck on mainstream American pop or country music any day of the week.

A noise... do I even stand a chance? 😕
ironfalcon18 ironfalcon18 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Oct 2003
#38 ·
Black metal is war😁
Anyone listening to ironfalcon18, Darkthrone, or Forgotten Woods is either already completely unhinged or is headed straight for a breakdown later on.😁
And I’m talking about the people who actually let the music feed their soul, not just those playing a part at a club.
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active Member
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#39 ·
Everything or nothing.

Music taste generally falls into these categories:
- Trendy. Basically, you can tell exactly how much of a follower they are. 😉 ;
- Accidental. Shaped by whatever happened to be playing on the radio at the time. Less damaging to their psyche or anyone forced to listen to them. 🙂 ;
- Niche. Tells you something about their principles and actual knowledge (unlike those mindless trend-chasers).
- Eclectic. Suggests depth, culture, and an open mind. Or, in some insecure cases, just a total lack of a personality.
- Trash. If they actually know it’s bad? I’m buying them a beer immediately. 😁
- Great. That would be me. 😉

There are other sub-types, but who has the energy to list them all? 😉
Bryan Martin31 Bryan Martin31 Active Member
75 messages
joined Sep 2008
#40 ·
I figured I’d breathe some life back into this thread because I stumbled upon a realization that fits perfectly here.
Basically, that vocalist placebo guy—what was his name again, that hermaphrodite? 🙂—was on MTV a few nights ago saying he hasn't listened to anything lately except trance music (seriously?!).
So, how am I supposed to answer the original poster's question now? 😁

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