New subforum suggestion: Looking/Offering dates, chatting, friends, hobbies, etc.

I’m pretty sure most of you would agree that a lack of meaningful community—loneliness, isolation, or just feeling disconnected—is one of the biggest, yet most overlooked, struggles in modern society. There are endless reasons why people feel isolated or out of sync with those around them; there are far too many to list here, and that isn't really the point of this thread.

What I really want to talk about is that fundamental human drive to find someone or a group of people with whom you can better enjoy life—whether that means going out, sharing a niche interest, hanging out over a hobby, building a deep connection, or any other level of interaction, regardless of the scale.

Even though we can interact with more people in a single day than our grandmothers back in their days in Small Town, USA, could meet in an entire lifetime, it still doesn't feel like enough to find people who truly share our specific interests, hopes, or feelings. That need often just hangs in the air. Of course, some people satisfy those needs easily because they connect with everyone, while others are on the opposite end of the spectrum, struggling to find even one person they vibe with IRL. Regardless, it seems like almost everyone eventually tries to bridge that gap through the internet.

There’s a good reason for that. A single Advertisement can reach more people in minutes than you might encounter in a lifetime (though I haven't managed to convince my grandma of that yet😁). Plus, if you clearly state a single interest or request, you get an instant filter.

About a week ago, someone started a thread titled, if I remember correctly, "Looking/Offering Outings." Within hours, the thread was buzzing exactly as intended, despite a bit of the usual trolling and grumbling from the skeptics.

Despite its huge potential, the mods (who I think are doing a good job) had Emily Patel70 lock it down, and then it was deleted entirely. Just like the Romans wiped out Cartage, that thread vanished as if it were cursed. I assume it was done because all requests and offers should be funneled into the Advertisements thread; it makes sense, as it's much easier to moderate one central hub than several scattered ones.

However, here is the crux of my argument😁: I’ve noticed that creating "niche" advertisement threads actually drives engagement from users who want to find or offer something but feel uncomfortable doing so in the general "Advertisements - Looking/Offering" thread. Personally, I think the Forum would reach a whole new level if there were a sub-PPDF with sticky threads for things like "looking/offering / chatting / pen pals / specific outings (concerts, clubs, parks, theaters, movies, whatever) / meeting a guy or girl / dating / grabbing drinks / gaming / roleplay" and
maybe even dedicated threads for US-style meetups, or perhaps a speed dating thread down the road once the demand is there.

So, on one hand, you have the mods wanting to keep things organized, which is easier with one thread, but on the other, you have the users on the Lonely Heart sub-forum—which is literally meant to combat isolation—trying to achieve the connections they couldn't make in person.

Anyway, I've rambled on, but only to try and soften the hearts of the moderators. Be a little more daring, like Reddit, where sub-forums are quickly opened up for any good initiative. Besides, this sub-forum doesn't even have its own dedicated PPDF yet; it’s about time.

P.S. If you're short on mods to handle this, I'm happy to volunteer.

I doubt they'll let that pass. Maybe an Advertisement thread, but even then, nobody seemed interested, even though the foodie group had a decent idea for one. Now those same people are just quietly drifting through the other two threads.
It really should happen, though. Truth is, everyone checks out the ad thread even if they won't admit it, and you definitely notice social ads there too—I’ve probably seen at least a dozen myself while browsing locations. But there's this nagging vibe that those threads are basically just bait. ;-)

Having a PPDF would be killer, with a dedicated ad section and space for discussion and meetups, but honestly, the chances of that actually happening are basically zero.😁

So, what happened to our regular Coffee and Chat?

Joseph Sullivan10 said:I don't think they'll go for it. Maybe they'll allow a single Advertisement thread, but there wasn't even any appetite for that, even though the culinary enthusiast had a decent idea for it—so now those same people are just quietly drifting through two other threads.
...

A PPDF would be great, featuring an Advertisement section alongside dedicated spaces for discussion and coordination, but the odds of that getting approved are basically zero.😁

Why so pessimistic? From what I've gathered, all the mods are rational people. If we aren't proactive, they won't be either. As I see it, the issue isn't the number of Advertisement threads; it's that they're being opened haphazardly without clear rules. They’re scattered all over the PPDF, cluttering everything up and making the whole thing impossible to navigate. They lack conciseness, which makes them a nightmare to moderate. That's why they're trying to cram everything into one thread. From a moderation standpoint, it's perfectly understandable, and I'd probably do the same, but it's not in the best interest of the users or the site's engagement (which ultimately affects the owner too). Here is why it hurts the community:

Taylor Johnson37 said:I've noticed that creating "niche" Advertisement threads actually boosts activity among users looking to buy or sell things—people who, for some reason, don't feel comfortable posting in the general "Classifieds - Wanted/For Sale" thread.

Besides, I'm not just dreaming here; increasing activity by opening new "niches" is just a natural phenomenon. A textbook example would be Darwin's finches on the Galapagos Islands (where 14 different species evolved from one due to food availability—just Google it😛)(though damn it, biology😁, we need someone from Information Science to give a better analogy). We aren't separate from these natural trends, and our forum activity is no different. If this new activity needs to be organized and supervised, then a new sub-PPDF is the best solution. If they need extra mods to handle it—I'm available. My only fear is how the moderator screening process looks for an American forum😁—I'd hate for some SOA to barge into my house and wreck the place. Or does the forum rely on a network of neighborhood busybodies?😁

Joseph Sullivan10 said:...
It really should, even if everyone actually checks the Classifieds thread despite rarely admitting it—plus, social posts show up there too (I've definitely posted about a dozen myself when I was moving locations).Word on the street is they're nothing more than a front. ;-)

Honestly, people can be so untrustworthy. I really think we could eliminate that issue entirely if we just set up dedicated threads with some solid, high-quality rules in place.

Here’s a quick sketch of what that PPDF sub could look like:

The permanent sticky themes. What kind of rules would you mods set up right from the jump to keep things orderly?

• Looking for/offering strictly virtual correspondence only.
  
  
• Looking for/offering real-life friendship.
• Looking for some light texting or casual dates.
  
  
• Looking for correspondence and dating (seeking a serious relationship).
  
  
• I’m looking for a gradual connection—starting with friendship and seeing where the path leads us.
  
  
• I'm looking to head out—specifically for things like concerts, plays, or art exhibits—so let me know where the night takes us.
• Looking for or offering a night out at a club.
• Looking for a hobby partner.
• Looking for a partner for some recreation.

I think we should definitely add the ones I've bolded; they pop up on the Forum all the time.

Occasional pinned threads.:

Forum meetups, group outings, and stuff like that.

Floating Theme (The forum members have officially opened the Forum in coordination with the moderators.)

silvertiger11 said:What happened to the Coffee and Chat threads?

Don't be a troll; you know this is strictly online, just a way to kill some time.

I’d like to hear from those who were posting in the "Looking/Offering Dates" thread last week, as well as anyone posting Advertisements in the "No Friends" section, or those who used to start threads for local meetups. If you're interested, please don't just stay silent—speak up and let us know what you think about all of this.

There is absolutely NO reason to split this up into so many different sections.
At the end of the day, everything really just boils down to three basic things:
- looking for love
- looking for IRL friendship
- looking for online friendship

Are we seriously expected to have 30 different sticky threads—and maybe even a whole new sub-forum?—just because one person wants to meet at a concert while someone else wants to go to a football game? Are people really not intellectually mature enough to scan through a few mixed posts? Give me a break! 🙂

By the way, it wasn't just an Internet Meme deciding to lock this on a whim; it was a unanimous decision made by all the moderators. So, if you're wondering about the direction this thread is taking, that should probably give you a hint.

Now, you may continue 🙂

Honestly, I don't see any point in opening even one more thread for advertisements, let alone a whole dedicated PPDF.
It’s not even about me being too lazy to moderate... I mean, I handle way more PDFs than this, so I'm not just being selectively lazy here.

Most people in the US are introverts who struggle to find a social circle. At least that's the argument people use when they try to bash "evil" moderators for deleting ads in random threads.
But look, if someone already has a hard time communicating or making friends with people they actually know, what are the odds that talking to a total stranger is going to go smoothly?
I mean, how much sense does it actually make to go out with someone you have zero connection to?
Trying to find friends through ads is an even bigger mystery to me. Sure, I get meeting someone via an ad for dating or whatever, but actual friendships? That almost never happens that way.

If there was a specific PPDF just for ads, this place would lose everything that makes it a unique social network for Americans. It'd just turn into a bunch of people dropping ads and praying someone actually responds.

What we should be doing on the forum is actually writing stuff and joining discussions—and I don't mean shallow chatting filled with a million emojis. You actually get to see who you vibe with and who you keep running into in different threads. Then you can move those conversations to PM. Or maybe eventually grab a Coffee and Chat if you live nearby. Or, if you're super shy and too scared to even send a PM, you could always show up to a US-style meetup and meet the people you've grown to like online.

There are plenty of sites out there specifically designed for posting ads. A forum can be used in much smarter ways than that.

I don't know what the other mods will say, but I am absolutely against it.

Look, I'm not an introvert or anything, but I'm mostly just passing through when I'm on the Forum and I've picked up some solid friends along the way. Especially after posting that Advertisement about being bored 😁
. It’s not hopeless just because there are maybe 5 or 6 people here who constantly change their handles and whine about the same old stuff like they couldn't even hold a conversation with a brick wall IRL.

But yeah, Taylor Johnson37 really overcomplicated things.

Joseph Sullivan10 said:Look, I’m not an introvert or anything US-style, but even though I mostly just drop by the Forum when I can, I’ve made some genuinely great friends here. And yeah, that was just after I posted an Advertisement saying I was bored. 😁
It’s certainly not hopeless just because five or six people—who basically just cycle through nicknames and whine about the same old thing—can't even hold a conversation with a brick wall in real life.

That said, Taylor Johnson37 did make things unnecessarily complicated.

Maybe I overcomplicated things a bit, but I think I was just being unclear. The outline I provided is just that—an outline. It covers the fundamental steps for opening a new PPDF, but everything else is totally flexible depending on what the interested users and mods decide on.

But hey, hold on—don't go rushing to close and delete this thread just yet. You guys gave me plenty to work with in response to Harold Taylor6 and Emily Patel70, but since my reply is going to be pretty detailed, I need some time to put it together.

Here is the section of the Forum dedicated to that which is clearly dead and utterly forgotten.

Tulumara is a pretty interesting corner of this forum, especially considering my specific situation because... PPDF Regarding Coffee and Chat—I honestly think his main issue is just being in the wrong section. This part of the forum is meant for getting together IRL, but it hasn't really taken off because people here mostly just swap lines on the Floating Theme threads. They aren't actually looking to meet up in person.

It’s interesting how there are these regional sticky threads popping up here and there. It’s actually a pretty solid idea, though I honestly have no clue how many people are actually responding to those Advertisements.

I know the mods might argue that Tulumara already covers everything I’m proposing regarding this PPDF idea, but that’s just not the case. My suggestion is specifically about restructuring the titles of several sticky threads to clearly define the type of interaction—whether someone is looking for something or offering it. Right now, these regional stickies are a bit of a catch-all; there’s a mix of everything, which isn't necessarily bad, but adding those specific categories I mentioned (like those five bolded ones) would create new niches and drive even more engagement. Maybe a good compromise would be moving Tulumara under the US section and updating its name to include "Looking/Offering," alongside dedicated forum meetups and a few other relevant sticky topics. It wouldn't result in thirty new threads like Harold Taylor6 suggests; we're talking maybe ten at most. If we clean up the titles and improve the overall organization, I think we'd have a much better system.

And yeah, this isn't quite the full response I'm planning to write yet.

If you're looking for friendship or pen pals, you should head over to the classifieds thread on this sub-forum. As for meeting up in person, that happens on Tulumara. There are also specific sub-forums dedicated to hobbies. I’ve personally taken part in those tabletop gaming sessions organized over in the Fantasy section. If I recall correctly, they even host meetups for book lovers.

The scenario you're picturing just wouldn't work; the forum simply doesn't operate that way.

Taylor Johnson37 said:Tulumara is a pretty weird corner of this forum, especially regarding my "case," since it’s basically just a PPDF (Coffee and Chat). Honestly? I think its biggest issue is just being in the wrong spot on the site. Coffee and Chat is meant for virtual hanging out, so this section never really took off because people use the chat threads to swap lines on Floating Theme topics instead... they aren't actually looking to meet up IRL.

It’s interesting how those regional sticky threads pop up here and there... definitely not a bad idea, though who knows if anyone actually checks those Advertisements seriously.

I know the mods are gonna jump in and say Tulumara already covers what I suggested for this sub-PPDF, but that's not really true. My suggestion is about changing the actual titles of a few sticky threads to follow a "Looking For/Offering" format—to give them a specific purpose for interaction. Right now, those regional sticks have all sorts of random stuff in them, which isn't bad per se, but adding specific themes like the ones I mentioned (you know, those 5 bolded ones) would create new niches and drive even more engagement. Maybe a compromise could be moving Tulumara under US and renaming it to include Looking For/Offering, forum meetups, and maybe a few matching sticky threads... and no, it wouldn't be 30 threads like Canada claims, just maybe ten. If we cleaned up the titles and made it easier to read, that might actually work.

And yeah... this isn't even a long response yet.

I am dead set against merging that PPDF into US, and honestly, I highly doubt any of our colleagues would go for it either.

I've already laid out why I think those "looking for friends" threads are pointless.
You can already see how little traction those threads get. And for good reason. You don't find friends through classified ads.

Look, I have nothing against threads where users ask for advice on social skills (if they need help with that) or places for new members to introduce themselves... but as for a whole new PPDF dedicated to classifieds? It's a hard no from me.

Wonderful. How are they supposed to thrive if you just delete them!? Just look at those two threads—"I Have No Friends" and "I Have No One to Go Out With"—where you mods were forced to add "this is not an Advertisement thread" because people keep posting specific ads related to the topic name. On the "I Have No Friends" thread, this happens constantly ever since "even the oldest can't remember" (it’s basically where Andrew Jarak would show up IRL😁). Then there's that other thread, "Looking/Offering Outings," which you closed just a week ago (and even deleted).

Don't you think forum members would just post an ad for friendship or a specific outing to a concert, a play, or some other activity on a general Advertisements thread if that's what they actually wanted to do? On the flip side, threads with specific names for these two things have absolutely exploded with ads.

I've had experience with this myself; I once posted an ad for a specific concert outing, including a brief description of the kind of people I'd get along with, and someone reached out to me months later. Conversely, on that thread you closed, I received several responses within just a few hours—also for a specific concert, also with a short description.

It's obvious that people don't feel comfortable posting about friendship, let alone immediate outings, on a general thread.

Ultimately, I'm surprised by how stubborn you're being here (without even getting into the other mods' views), because you come across to me as a rational and open-minded person based on what I've read of your posts. I especially remember one post where you wrote about the injustice of any kind of prejudice, after another, otherwise very cool female forum member wrote that prejudices exist for a reason because they are most often accurate.
Isn't this stance of yours a prejudice in itself? There is no basis to claim that a slightly modified advertising system would be worse, especially when there are indications it would actually be better.

This PPDF covers the topic of Lonely Heart—which really spans everything from friendships to romance—but let’s be honest, most people here are hyper-focused on finding love. Now, if you want to justify having an extra PPDF, you need a solid amount of content—we're talking more than one page, at least 20 distinct topics, and they all have to be relevant, with at least half being active. Since you aren't going to hit those numbers, that whole extra PPDF idea is just out of the question.

Alright, so here's the real kicker: why bother with all these different threads? You could basically boil down your list—"looking for a partner," "looking to meet someone for a potential relationship," "seeking someone for a possible connection," "searching for a serious long-term partner," etc.—into just two simple categories: meeting people for friendship and meeting people for romantic interests. That's it! Nothing else. If other users can't be bothered to actually read an Advertisement, well, that's on them—it's really just a matter of their own laziness. Why would we "clutter" the PPDF with a million different threads—which means even more stickies—and pile on a mountain of frankly useless work for the moderators, when the core functionality already exists?

It's pretty clear that people don't feel comfortable posting about friendships, or especially about setting up actual dates, in the general thread.

That's their issue! If anything needs to change, then specific behaviors should change, not the entire structure of the PPDF.

Taylor Johnson37 said:Great. Just great. How exactly are these things supposed to survive once you guys go around deleting them!? I mean, seriously, just look at those two threads—"Looking for Friends" and "Nobody to Hang Out With." You mods had to step in and slap that "this isn't an Advertisement" label on them because people keep posting specific classifieds disguised as social posts... it happens constantly. Especially on the "Looking for Friends" thread. Ever since the whole "they don't even remember the old days" thing started, it's been a mess. At this rate, Andrew Jarak is probably gonna show up IRL just from one of those threads... anyway...😁And seriously... can we please just bring back that "Looking/Offering Dates" thread? You know, the one you shut down like a week ago... and then totally nuked from existence too. Just... yeah.

So, I was just sitting here thinking... those Coffee and Chat threads on PPDF? Total flops. They just never really caught fire. And honestly, it makes sense. Over in the States, we have this one specific thread for Advertisements that’s got some pretty strict rules attached to it. The reason why people end up drifting over to other threads instead is actually super simple—most folks just don't have enough posts to qualify for the Classifieds section. And hey, there's a damn good reason that rule exists in the first place...

I mean, wouldn't you think people would just drop an Advertisement for a friendship or, I don't know, a specific night out at a concert or some show if they actually wanted to make it happen on the general Advertisements thread? But honestly... look at those other threads with specific names for those two things... they've absolutely exploded with posts. It’s wild...

Look, I’m telling you again... people on this Forum are seriously trying to find loopholes in the rules over on the Advertisements thread. Like, give me a break. That whole section is meant for us—actual active users who actually participate in discussions—because we're dealing with a specific PPDF here. This isn't some cheesy dating site or anything... honestly, none of these threads even need to exist, but hey, here we are...

I mean, seriously... the mods can't exactly be expected to read everyone's minds about every single PDF... like, they shouldn't have to obsess over what every single person on this Forum wants or where we all dream of hanging out... it's just not happening...
Look, I don't think anyone in America is actually clueless... I really don't. Honestly, I feel like people on this Forum are more than capable of scrolling through everything and finding the threads that actually matter to them—you know, stuff tied to their actual hobbies. So, why even bother having one massive, dedicated thread just to hunt for buddies for specific interests? It feels redundant. If you're looking for people to geek out with, there's almost certainly already a niche thread on a specialized sub-forum for that exact thing. And let's be real... your chances of actually finding your tribe are way higher if you just go where they hang out... anyway, just my two cents...

So, you think the people popping up on the Forum are actually incapable of using a search bar? Honestly... I mean, look at some of these guys. It’s like they wander in here, drop a question that was answered ten minutes ago, and just wait for someone to spoon-feed them the info. Like, seriously? Use the search function! It’s not rocket science... though sometimes with this crowd, it feels like it might be. Just a thought...

Look, I gotta say, it honestly trips me out how you played it so straight there—not even getting into the weeds with what the other mods were throwing around. Based on everything I've read from you... I mean, I've scrolled through enough of your posts to get a vibe, and you always come across as this super level-headed, no-nonsense person. Especially that one time you posted about why jumping to conclusions and holding onto prejudices is just totally unjustified... you know, right after that other girl—who’s usually pretty chill on the Forum—tried to claim that biases actually exist for a reason because they're "usually right." Total nonsense, if you ask me... but yeah, seeing you take the high road like that was unexpected...
Isn't that just straight-up prejudice talking? Seriously... there’s zero basis to claim some slightly tweaked Advertisement system would actually be worse. If anything, all signs point to it being way better...

Prejudice against what, exactly? Honestly... I have zero clue how I was being shady. Like, seriously... where am I even being crooked?
Look, I’m all for making it easier for people to connect and grab some Coffee and Chat, really I am... but honestly? I highly doubt we’re actually gonna see more connection if we just dump a massive pile of random Advertisements everywhere. It’s just gonna get messy...

Look, I already said that other ideas are more than welcome. Now it’s your turn to actually step up and start thinking outside that little box you built for yourself... seriously. And please, just... no attacks, okay? Let's keep it civil. 😉

Emily Patel70 said:Prejudice against what?

Hmm...

Emily Patel70 said:Most people in America are introverts who struggle to find their tribe. At least, that’s the excuse people always throw around when they start complaining about those power-tripping moderators deleting Advertisements on random threads.

I honestly can't tell if most people in the States are introverts. There’s just no way to get an objective read on it. From what I see, most people are actually ambiverts.

Emily Patel70 said:If someone is already struggling to connect with people they actually know, what are the odds that a conversation with a complete stranger will actually go smoothly?

I wouldn't go assuming that most people in the US struggle with communication issues; there's really no reason for us to believe that's the case.

It’s logically pointless to bother making acquaintances with people you already know.

People who actually meet up in person because of this Forum have a much better chance of getting a real preview of who they're meeting than they would IRL. Also, as the exception that proves the rule, I’m an ultra-introvert, yet I haven't had any trouble meeting total strangers from the community—and that’s specifically thanks to going to organized outings. It allows you to not be entirely dependent on how compatible you are with the person you're meeting, since you can easily split your attention between them and the actual event or activity. I personally had a great time with it (and honestly, you shouldn't have closed this thread so abruptly just because you agreed with the other moderators).

Emily Patel70 said:How much sense does it actually make to go out with someone you know absolutely nothing about?

I just replied to you.

Emily Patel70 said:Trying to find friends through an Advertisement is even more of a mystery to me. I can wrap my head around using ads to find a date or something similar, but friendships very, very rarely blossom that way.

That is entirely your own subjective opinion, and as such, it’s completely irrelevant to your role as a moderator. People are different, you know?

Emily Patel70 said:If there were a dedicated PPDF for advertisements, the forum would lose all the unique qualities it has as a social network for users posting on the PPDF USA. Everyone would just drop ads and sit around hoping someone reaches out.

I spent ten minutes trying to make sense of that, and I couldn't. People who want to post on the PPDF USA could still do so, but they would also have an extra opportunity to meet someone via the PPDF upon the explicit request of the poster—which is much more approachable than a random, intrusive PM. There’s no reason to believe that activity on the PPDF USA itself would decrease because of the PPDF. As for the social network aspect, that's simply incorrect; it could actually gain new depth since the level of acquaintance and friendship would increase while maintaining the existing connections.

Emily Patel70 said:What people should be doing on the forum is writing and participating in discussions (and by that, I don't mean superficial chatting filled with a hundred emojis).

People should do whatever suits them. Maybe someone doesn't want to participate in discussions. Maybe someone just wants to send PMs and respond to advertisements. Why not utilize all the technical features the forum offers to their absolute limit?

Emily Patel70 said:It's only through discussions that you can see who you click with and who you frequently run into on various threads. From there, you can move the discussion to PM. Or maybe eventually arrange a Coffee and Chat if you live nearby.

That is your personal subjective impression, which makes it irrelevant to your function as a moderator. In my subjective view, it's better to reach out or post a quality advertisement and then let the interaction continue from there. Keep in mind that a user's subjective opinion matters when developing a platform, and a moderator's job is simply to find the best way to ensure user satisfaction.

Emily Patel70
Alternatively, if you’re incredibly shy and would rather not reach out via private message, you could always show up to a US-style Coffee and Chat to meet the forum members you’ve grown fond of online.

It is much easier for an extremely shy person or an ultra-introvert to attend a clearly defined activity or event with just one (1) specific person they can get to know slowly through PMs before meeting in person. Showing up to a massive forum meetup with a huge crowd is daunting, especially since introverts generally dislike groups larger than two or three people—people they barely even know—whereas everyone else there already knows one another. Beyond that, those types of people usually gravitate toward structured activities rather than being open to "sandbox IRL" scenarios.😁

I actually discussed this recently with a girl I went to a concert with here from the forum, and she agreed; she said she would never attend a large gathering like that without a specific cultural event to anchor it.

Emily Patel70 said:You should post Advertisements on sites specifically designed for that. This forum can certainly be used in much smarter ways.

Whether meeting people through ads is a "less smart" way to use the site compared to other functions (like public discussions) is purely your own subjective opinion, so it isn't really relevant to your role as a moderator.
If you had actually looked at the threads regarding dating sites, you might have noticed they aren't nearly as good as this forum, so imagine what else we could achieve.

Emily Patel70 said:I have already stated my reasons why I think threads looking for friends don't make sense.

The reasons you provided are merely your personal subjective opinions, not actual arguments, which makes them irrelevant to your duties as a moderator.

Emily Patel70 said:Now you can see just how much interest those threads generated. And for good reason.

I agree that there is a reason. In my view, there are two main ones: the poor placement of the PPDF Tulumara section and the lack of enough predefined "seeking/offering" topics. Instead, users were opening them arbitrarily. Predefined "regional" threads on the same PPDF tend to be more successful, unlike certain areas like NYC or LA.

Emily Patel70 said:You don't find friends through classified ads.

That’s just your personal opinion, not an actual argument, so it doesn't really carry weight in your role as a moderator.

Emily Patel70 said:I have nothing against threads where users might seek advice on improving their social skills (if they feel they need it), or threads where new members can introduce themselves and things like that.

It's unlikely anyone does.

Emily Patel70 said:I honestly don't see how I was being shady.

Let's see...

Emily Patel70 said:But as for a new PPDF for classifieds, you have my categorical no.

Emily Patel70 said:I am completely against the idea of attaching that PPDF to the US-style one, and frankly, I doubt any of our colleagues would support it either.

Emily Patel70 said:I don't know what the other colleagues will say, but I am absolutely against it.

Emily Patel70 said:Honestly, I don't see the point in opening even one more thread for advertisements, let alone an entire PPDF.
It’s not even a matter of me being unwilling to moderate; I handle more PDFs than anyone else here, so I haven't exactly decided to be selectively lazy.

Since we already cleared out those irrelevant ones, what’s the reasoning here?

From a purely logical standpoint, we have established that... It makes sense.Actually, your claim about dodging the hundred-post rule by just replying to other relevant threads doesn't really hold water, considering you said the following:

Emily Patel70 said:I’ve been thinking about how the Coffee and Chat threads on PPDF USA never really took off. It seems pretty straightforward why everyone ended up gravitating toward other topics instead—most people just don't hit the post count required to participate in the Advertisements section. And honestly, there’s a very good reason that rule is in place.

How can you possibly think that an Advertisement on the US site carries the same weight as one on Tulumara? You're missing the main point. The reason your argument about people avoiding the 100-post rule doesn't hold water is because there are zero post limits when you're posting an Advertisement on Tulumara. It’s simple: users have absolutely no incentive to follow the 100-post requirement here when they can just head over to Tulumara and drop their ad there instead.

If this sounds a bit too forced to you, let's consider that some users on the Forum actually do bypass the hundred-post rule. However, there isn't any concrete evidence to suggest that everyone is doing it, or even that it's a widespread practice. At the end of the day, that's just your subjective impression.

At the end of the day, it’s all irrelevant. On the new threads I’ve proposed—not fixed ones, but those where there's actually a consensus—we can just implement a rule for a hundred posts, or whatever number we decide is necessary.

Emily Patel70 said:I’ve already mentioned that I’m open to other suggestions. Now it's your turn to step outside the box you built for yourself and really start thinking.

I really hope you don't realize just how cynical what you wrote actually is—it’s honestly as toxic as botulism.

In this context, "thinking outside the box" basically boils down to two options: either you shut up, stay under the radar, and stop making waves, or you go track down Anderlon to get that Personal Contacts PDF opened.

The "guidelines" I laid out aren't actually rules, nor was that my intention, and this thread isn't some attempt at vigilante justice. I put together a few suggestions with the hope they’d be studied constructively, discarded if unnecessary, or perhaps even built upon. My core idea was simply to add two sub-sections to the existing Classifieds section: one for "Looking/Offering outings for specific concerts, shows, or movies," and another for "Looking/Offering friendship." Once I understood why you handled other threads the way you did—specifically regarding the difficulty of moderation—it made sense to me to just start a new PPDF. It costs nothing to try; we could move these three topics there and add a sticky thread for things that drive more actual engagement on the Forum. After someone mentioned Tulumara and her life on life support, it felt like a good opportunity to create a hybrid space, especially since those "regional" sticky threads on Tulumara make total sense within this new context. Instead, I just got hammered by the mods, acting like some small-town Alabama sheriffs charging into Compton. Air Canada practically shoved their policy in my face, basically telling me everything is set in stone and non-negotiable, making any discussion pointless. I only kept talking to you because I remember some of your posts being incredibly rational, but now I'm starting to wonder if that still holds true.

Emily Patel70 said:Even without an attack, please 😉

I wasn't attacking you; I was simply attempting to prompt some self-reflection regarding the situation.😉

Ultimately, I know I've wasted a few hours here, but that's just my personality—when I feel like something is right, I can't just stay silent, so I had to respond.

Honestly, I don't even have the energy to sit here and walk you through every single one of your logical fails... just, no. Not happening from my side. And Harold Taylor6 isn't buying it either. If—and that's a massive if—both Matthew Anderson and Meadow actually decide to weigh in, then maybe we can have a real conversation.

@Taylor Johnson37/">@@Taylor Johnson37
Not even gonna quote that sausage, but I guess I agree—this isn't some classified site or a dating app. People come here to hang out, debate stuff, and if they want, connect IRL. But you need actual participation in the threads first, IMO. If we cut that out, there’s zero spark left.
Like what Emily Patel70 said, having some common ground through discussions and shared thoughts is a prerequisite for any kind of relationship, not just two people being Lonely Heart.
Personally, I don't talk to clones. When I had Advertisements up, I wouldn't even reply to PMOve unless they were actually interesting. I don't care about them as people.
Same goes for people who have nothing to say about a single topic. Like, what would I even talk to them about IRL?

Most people think the same way. Look at yourself—you've got posts now, you've got this thread in your CVu. You've got opinions, wants, ideas... you aren't a clone. I can already see the introverts sliding into your DMs ;-)