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Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Started by Angela Wright · · 👁 57 views · 1.2K replies

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Participants Angela Wrightmelloworca6Kimberly Cox58vividsailor7crimsongull20wearytrucker22Jamie Chaseneoncrane83slysurfer14Roger TaylorNancy Leevelvetmoose9Amy Torres4Chris Howard92Frank Johnson4Linda Ortiz49nimblepanther14feraldrifter6amberridge21Kevin Bishop10Charles Williams13coppermason13restlessowl3Dana Thomas6 …
mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#721 ·
My Mom is in really bad shape at the hospital right now. The surgical team didn't catch her sepsis or pneumonia in time. They kept insisting everything was fine, even though she was coughing constantly and running a fever. At first, she seemed to be recovering okay after the surgery. I honestly think if they had just moved her to the ICU right after the procedure, she would have pulled through. The nursing and medication management over in surgery was just... it was terrible. We had such high hopes for her rehab; we were really looking forward to seeing her get better. Now, she's been moved to an internal medicine ward where the care is actually decent, but I fear it might be too late. She isn't conscious of her surroundings anymore—she only reacts to intense stimuli—and her kidneys are starting to fail. I’m just so bitter toward that surgical unit and the irresponsible people working there. I spoke with them today, and this one doctor actually had the nerve to tell me she wasn't even feeling bad. As if sepsis just magically appears in five minutes. He was being so incredibly vague and nonsensical when he spoke to me today.

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mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#722 ·
Up until yesterday morning, she was actually able to eat a little bit and take some fluids through a straw. But then, things just took a sudden, sharp turn for the worse. At least the internal medicine department seems professional and honest about everything. Surgery, though... it’s an absolute disaster. I wouldn't recommend them to anyone, honestly. They told me so many lies just to cover their own tracks. I guess the worst part is that her Mom isn't the only human life they've completely ruined here.

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Casey Booth3 Casey Booth3 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Apr 2013
#723 ·
mistyjackal842 said:Up until yesterday morning, she was actually able to eat a little and sip some liquids through a straw. Then, out of nowhere, her condition just tanked. Honestly, at least the internal medicine department seems professional and keeps it real. But surgery? A total disaster. I wouldn't recommend them to anyone. They've fed me nothing but lies just to cover their own tracks. The worst part is—and this is what really gets me—my Mom isn't the only life they've completely ruined.

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My God, what happened?! Is it really that bad... I'm speechless... it feels like every hospital is a complete mess lately! It's always the patient who ends up getting screwed over, right? Ugh.
mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#724 ·
She ran a fever of 100.9 on Sunday and her coughing was just relentless. At that point, she was still over in surgery, and despite how much her cough was worsening and me practically begging them, they absolutely refused to give her any antibiotics. They said they’d finally get around to it on Monday—even though she was also dealing with a urinary tract infection from the catheter. It wasn't until Monday night that she actually received an antibiotic via IV. By Tuesday, things had taken a turn for the worse. Now, she’s fighting for her life. The doctors over in internal medicine told us her condition is extremely critical. While she was still under surgical care, they kept insisting she was doing perfectly fine; one of them even suggested I was just being dramatic, even though I could clearly see she was deteriorating. We didn't get the real truth about how dire things were until we moved to internal medicine. I honestly don't understand how this surgical unit operates. It feels like the most vulnerable patients there just suffer because the level of care is non-existent, and medication administration is completely haphazard. I've even seen nurses choosing to give the wrong IV fluids—like Ringer's—which a patient shouldn't even receive due to kidney issues. But they do it anyway, apparently because they ran out of standard Salt IVs. Why shouldn't elderly patients have the option to recover in an ICU after a major procedure like an amputation? In the ICU, the level of patient care is incomparably better. If Mom had been sent to intensive care after her surgery, I am certain she would already be recovering and starting rehab by now. Instead, because of the unprofessional behavior of the surgical staff, she’s fighting for her life in septic shock.

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Angela Wright Angela Wright RegularOP
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#725 ·
Dear mistyjackal842 and Ashley Murphy, I honestly don't know what to tell you 😢 .... just stay strong. I’ve been exactly where you are, feeling absolutely certain that we had hit rock bottom and there was no way out. I remember sitting at home, crying my eyes out while trying to sew a button onto a suit that Mom had chosen to be buried in. I must have sewn it on and ripped it off three times; no matter how carefully I measured, I kept messing it up, and I just couldn't wrap my head around why. Then, the phone rang. Dad called to say the doctors had decided to operate on Mom. They rushed her into surgery while she was basically in a coma, but an hour later, they brought her back fully conscious and aware of her surroundings. Because of that one moment, she got the chance to continue treatment and lived for another year and a half. I’ve shared this story here before, but it taught me that sometimes, when you’re at your breaking point and you just point a finger toward God, things can take a complete turn for the better. Don't lose hope!
mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#726 ·
Thank you for all the kind words of support. She seemed to be doing a little better yesterday afternoon. Her breathing was still heavy and rapid, but she wasn't struggling quite as much. This morning, though... it was just awful. Every single breath felt like such a struggle for her. Honestly, the hardest part for me is knowing that this sepsis could have been prevented. It wasn't even an infection from her surgical wound. No, she caught an infection from the catheter and developed pneumonia, which the staff in surgery just failed to catch. I kept trying to warn them to at least start her on antibiotics because she had a fever, a cough, and was struggling to breathe as far back as Sunday. And now, this surgeon is telling me they won't get to the antibiotics until Monday. I just can't wrap my head around why they couldn't have started them on Sunday. We were just waiting for her to be transferred to internal medicine, but by then, it was already too late—the sepsis had already set in. I actually asked the anesthesiologist who happened to be passing through the surgical ward, and she just said, "Well, I assume she'll get them," and told me to check with the attending physician since he makes those calls. But the attending seemed to take everything so lightly, acting like there was plenty of time. On Sunday, she was still conscious, even if she was incredibly weak. I truly cannot understand how they could withhold antibiotics before the sepsis took hold. I mean, what kind of people are they?

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Jason Grant85 Jason Grant85 Member
22 messages
joined May 2017
#727 ·
This is all about filing a lawsuit. 😢
Casey Booth3 Casey Booth3 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Apr 2013
#728 ·
Look, mistyjackal842—those people aren't even human anymore! They lose any sense of empathy or connection to actual human suffering—probably just because they've been in the game too long and that professional detachment kicks in—and they just stop caring... which is honestly heartbreaking to see. What can I even tell you? Things will get better eventually, just keep praying and hang in there. I am seriously, truly sorry you're going through this when you haven't done a single thing to deserve it! Later.
Linda Patel21 Linda Patel21 Active Member
108 messages
joined Feb 2014
#729 ·
Man, mistyjackal842, what you're going through is seriously brutal. I know words don't mean much right now, but hopefully things start looking up soon. Sending strength your way for everything ahead, and hoping Mom's pain stays minimal. Hang in there!
mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#730 ·
I’m just trying to hold it together. I don't even know what to tell you... she’s actually a colleague of hers in the same field. This younger resident over in surgery was being so dismissive about everything on Sunday. He actually told me I was just being dramatic and that we should just wait until Monday for the antibiotics. I honestly can't believe they withheld them from her. She was recovering so nicely, eating well, and now suddenly there's sepsis. She’s been hospitalized the whole time, they've been drawing blood and running all sorts of tests. But they just wouldn't give her the antibiotics in surgery, even though she had a fever on Sunday, was struggling to breathe, and they were even mentioning a possible urinary tract infection. I just knew deep down she needed antibiotics, but they just gave her an injection to bring the fever down and thought that solved the problem. They didn't address the actual cause of the infection at all. They even claimed in surgery that the fever was just from dehydration. She was drinking as much as she could through a straw. It was so obvious to me that they just didn't care about her one bit. That unit is just terrible. I can't believe the things happening there.

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mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#731 ·
I was wondering if someone might be able to tell me what the best way to go about this is. I mean, should I ju

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mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#732 ·
I think I sent my last message by mistake.

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Linda Patel21 Linda Patel21 Active Member
108 messages
joined Feb 2014
#733 ·
I honestly don't know what smart advice I can give you, but if you've got the energy, get down to the hospital and start a massive scene. Threaten them with the news, threaten them with anything... just make sure they finally do everything in their power right now, because I truly believe Mom has a fighting chance. If you don't mind me asking, which hospital is it?
Angela Wright Angela Wright RegularOP
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#734 ·
Linda Patel21 said:I honestly don't know what smart advice I could give you, but if you have the strength, go down to the hospital and kick up a massive fuss. Threaten them with the news, threaten them with a lawyer, whatever it takes... just make sure they actually do everything in their power right now, because I truly believe Mom has a fighting chance to pull through. If you don't mind me asking, which hospital is it?

And what exactly does making a scene achieve? Is it going to make Mom feel better? 🤷Right now, there is absolutely no point in wasting precious energy on settling scores with them. This is the moment when Mom needs calm and steady focus. There will be plenty of time to fight them later. Most likely, she picked up an infection from the catheter—probably E. coli hitting her bloodstream—and now she’s dealing with sepsis. It’s not exactly unheard of, though I find it mind-blowing that they didn't jump on antibiotics at the first sign of trouble, especially since we're talking about an oncology patient here. It's unbelievable. 😳 I really hope the therapy is underway and being administered via IV. It’ll probably take about ten days to get this under control. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens even with the best possible care. Personally, I caught E. coli every single time after a C-section or whenever I had a catheter; I practically lived on parsley tea to flush my system. For my own Mom, for example, that worked wonders, and we used parsley to help prevent infections whenever she had a catheter.
Linda Patel21 Linda Patel21 Active Member
108 messages
joined Feb 2014
#735 ·
Angela Wright, I wasn't trying to be mean. It's just that when I almost died once, the doctors did the exact same thing—they didn't take me seriously until my Mom showed up and absolutely lost it in the hospital. Only then did they actually start doing their jobs. I'm not usually the type to make a scene; I'd much rather just settle things quietly, but clearly, that doesn't work sometimes. Unfortunately, that's just how the system works here...
mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#736 ·
Is parsley tea only available at herbal pharmacies? And is it even safe for someone with blood clotting issues who is already taking Martefarin or heparin? Right now, she isn't allowed to take anything by mouth at all. The only thing the nurses give her is water through an IV.

I'm also really worried about the mucus my Mom keeps building up in her throat. Sometimes the nurses have to suction it out using that bulky machine with the two clear tubes. If we need to handle this ourselves later, what should I buy to help suction that mucus? How many times a day does it need to be done? It just keeps coming back, and I'm honestly terrified she might choke because she has such a hard time coughing it up.

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mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#737 ·
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I haven't lost hope—I mean, I visit her twice a day, every single day. She isn't eating anymore because she's not allowed to; everything is being delivered through her IV. The staff is taking good care of her, even though she isn't in the ICU right now. The doctors aren't really around constantly, I guess, and the nurses check in on her room every so often. Dad and I visit her twice a day. If I were allowed, I'd just stay there permanently. I love her so much; she’s truly a part of me. Today, she actually moved her arm while I was sitting there. Her pupils are dilated, though. And she's struggling quite a bit with her breathing. They put in a central line yesterday. Honestly, she seemed a little better yesterday afternoon than she did in the morning when things were looking really grim and she was gasping for air. As far as I know, she's getting Medazol in her IV along with antibiotics. Is that enough to fight off sepsis? I really, really hope she pulls through. She's such a fighter. This whole thing... it just shouldn't have happened. I can't help but feel they should have been more careful in surgery.

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mistyjackal842 mistyjackal842 Active Member
206 messages
joined May 2012
#738 ·
My dear Mom has passed away.

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Jason Grant85 Jason Grant85 Member
22 messages
joined May 2017
#739 ·
My dear mistyjackal842, please accept my most sincere condolences... I am just so incredibly sorry that everything became such a complicated mess and ended up so tragically. 😢 Hang in there!
Casey Booth3 Casey Booth3 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Apr 2013
#740 ·
Hey there, our dear forum friend mistyjackal842, 🙏I am honestly just so, so incredibly sorry that your Mom passed away so suddenly like that!!! If things get too heavy and you need to talk, please hit me up via private message. Sending my deepest condolences your way!!! I'm just in total shock...

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