Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Hey mistyjackal842, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It’s just devastating what happened. I know things are heavy right now and words don't mean much, but try to believe your Mom is in a better place now (that's how I cope, anyway). Just stay strong like you've always been—our loved ones are watching over us now.

Hey mistyjackal842, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I know nothing really helps right now, but I get it. My dad is going through something similar—doctors are basically counting down the months while he fights a tumor in his esophagus and bronchi. 😢

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I feel like I can finally speak out now. This all happened in the vascular department at Mount Sinai Hospital. It was just pure negligence—total carelessness from the staff. They were administering the wrong medications; they gave my Mom a Ringer's solution infusion, which she absolutely cannot have because of her kidney disease. Apparently, they ran out of Salt IVs, so they just gave her the Ringer's instead, even though it contains potassium, which is dangerous for someone with kidney issues. They knew she had a urinary tract infection, she was struggling to breathe, and her fever hit 38.3, but the surgeon refused to give her antibiotics on Sunday. He actually told me I was being dramatic and said he’d get her the antibiotics on Monday. Then, on Monday morning, I asked a third surgeon, and he told me Mom had already received the antibiotics. He lied to me. A little later, right before Mom was transferred to hematology, another surgeon admitted that she hadn't received any antibiotics at all and that the hematologists would decide on them instead. By the time she was moved to hematology, she was already in critical condition and in sepsis. They started her on an antibiotic via a Medazol infusion there, but it was already too late. The surgical team kept insisting to us that Mom was doing fine. Even their colleagues in hematology were shocked by how bad her condition had become. She passed away in terrible agony, in septic shock, unable to even breathe—she was fighting for every single breath. She lost consciousness. I wouldn't wish a death like that on my worst enemy.

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mistyjackal842, I am so incredibly sorry, things are just completely overwhelming right now 😢
It’s obvious that the strike and this whole broken system are driving this entire mess. If you truly feel that Mom passed away because of their negligence, report everything and sue them. An autopsy is absolutely mandatory here, and they are legally obligated to perform one since she died in the hospital. I know you probably don't have the headspace for any of this right now, but if you're planning to take action, you need to move fast. Personally, I’d take this straight to the press. Outlets like the New York Times or local news stations live for stories like this. It’s unbelievable—they claim to be fighting for their rights while simultaneously trampling on the basic human rights of patients and their families. I am so deeply sorry. Stay strong; we're all standing right behind you.

The nurses over at the vascular ward in Mount Sinai Hospital were just lazy and completely irresponsible. Honestly, they struggled even with basic tasks like changing a bedridden patient. They even let a draft blow right through the room while they were changing her. My Mom ended up catching pneumonia because she got so chilled, especially since there was no heat running at the time. As for the head nurse? She doesn't actually do anything; she just wanders around the ward. When Mom’s IV started leaking all over the bed, the head nurse refused to help, claiming she’d send two other nurses instead—even though those two were already tied up with another patient. To make matters worse, one of the older nurses actually mocked Mom, making some snide comment about her being a "countess." The surgery itself went fine after she woke up from general anesthesia, but the postoperative care in that vascular unit was non-existent. That’s why she developed sepsis, which really could have been prevented if they had just administered antibiotics in time. They knew about the urinary tract infection from the catheter for several days, so I just don't understand why they didn't give her the antibiotics sooner, before the sepsis set in, before she fell into septic shock and lost consciousness.

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mistyjackal842, I know things are brutal right now and nothing can bring Mom back, but honestly? You need to report this and go public. This is absolute garbage and a total disgrace!

We decided against the autopsy. Dad was strictly against it. According to the paperwork we received today, the cause of death was listed as sepsis. They don't mention anything about his lungs, even though my hematologist told me verbally—the day after he was moved to the hematology ward—that he had severe pneumonia and septic shock caused by a catheter infection. I just don't think an autopsy would uncover anything new at this point. I guess... I just want him to have some peace now. A medical malpractice attorney spoke to me this morning and mentioned that without an autopsy, we might not have much ground to stand on regarding a lawsuit for damages. But, maybe, surely we can still file a formal complaint regarding the conduct of the doctors and nurses over at the vascular surgery unit at Mount Sinai Hospital? I mean, people who are still alive file complaints all the time. I actually called the Department of Health and Human Services, and they said there’s a specific complaint form available on their website. Hopefully, that doesn't require an autopsy to move forward.

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I totally get where you're coming from, mistyjackal842. Nothing is ever going to make up for what you and your dad went through. Just do whatever you feel is right, but they should be ashamed of themselves. I really hope they get what's coming to them.

I guess I’m hoping for the same thing. Honestly, the head of vascular surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital is just a complete tyrant—a total dictator. I don't think I've ever met anyone quite that arrogant in my entire life. Before Mom's surgery, he actually spoke to us in this incredibly angry tone, basically demanding to know what we expected from him; he didn't even want to have a real conversation with us. From what I've read about that case involving the violent death by hemorrhaging of the journalist Hrvoje Mateljić, it seems like this man enjoys absolute protection, and nothing ever happens to him no matter what he does. In the Maškarin case out in San Francisco, they at least conducted an investigation, but here, in the Mateljić situation, they immediately dismissed any blame falling on that famous vascular surgeon. In the end, Mom was operated on by a younger surgeon, Franjić, who is honestly the only decent and polite person there. I truly believe if he had happened to be the one on duty last Sunday when Mom's condition worsened, he might have administered an intravenous antibiotic right away, which maybe could have saved her from sepsis and death. Another young doctor acted so unprofessional; he actually told me I was just being dramatic and that Mom could just start her antibiotics on Monday. By then, it was already too late, and she developed sepsis and septic shock. I actually stopped an older anesthesiologist in the hallway of the vascular ward on Sunday to ask her about that antibiotic, since she just happened to be there helping with another patient after some nurses called her over to help Mom with blood work. That anesthesiologist just told me, "Well, I assume she's receiving antibiotics." When I explained she wasn't, she just said she wouldn't get involved and that I should talk to the attending physician instead. The attending surgeon on duty that day took everything far too lightly. I tried explaining to him later that a patient with kidney disease shouldn't receive Ringer's solution because of the potassium content in it. He didn't even know that. But, after I pointed it out, they immediately switched Mom from the Ringer's to a Salt infusion. Then, when I went to visit Mom the next morning, I found her receiving Ringer's solution all over again. When I asked the nurse why, she just said they had run out of the Salt infusion. I mean, if they don't have what Mom specifically needs, it would be better to give her nothing at all rather than something she absolutely shouldn't be getting.

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I honestly don't get it—mistyjackal842, why on earth are you guys turning down the autopsy? If you’re even considering taking them to court, an autopsy is absolutely vital. Without it—well, it's going to be tough, but hey, the choice is yours... This whole thing is just unheard of. You couldn't even find this kind of nonsense in the most backwards parts of the country, let alone here. I mean, just because of some strike, do "they" really think they can just play God? Look, just take a breath for now. Get everything sorted for the funeral, and once the dust settles, sit down and think about it with a clear head. It’s never too late to make a move.

mistyjackal842, I am so incredibly sorry. Please accept my condolences.
The way doctors act sometimes is just totally unacceptable. There has to be some kind of accountability. It’s shameful, honestly—just unbelievable.

Look, I feel like I should chime in here because things aren't exactly great at Villa Brezovica either. My dad just finished his radiation and headed home, but his stay at the hospital was a total mess. First off, halfway through his treatment, they actually tried to kick him out. They basically asked if he could just go stay with someone else until he finished radiation. When he said he couldn't, they had the nerve to ask how that was possible since he has a daughter living in Washington, D.C. My dad refused to leave, so in the end, they ended up kicking another guy out of his room. Why? Apparently, so a friend of the doctor's could have a spot. The guy even told them that directly.
Then, midway through the radiation, something weird happened. It felt like a bone popped out right under his chest, where the ribs meet—you can actually feel it. He asked the doctor about it several times, but they just gave him this blank "we don't know" response and left it at that. No follow-up tests, no nothing. Just ignored it.
Third thing: they irradiated his neck because of some lymph node issues he found himself. He had to practically beg for tests because they had already cleared him, insisting there was absolutely nothing wrong with his neck. They were so adamant that everything was fine, but it turns out, it definitely wasn't. Then, during the radiation, he felt something even larger on his neck. Again, they wouldn't do anything about it. Their excuse was always, "Maybe it's from the radiation, maybe it's this, maybe it's that..." They basically told him they'd figure it out in three weeks when he comes back, but they weren't going to deal with it now.
It’s just pathetic how inhumanely they treat patients. When you see stuff like this, you start losing hope. You get this feeling that even the doctors themselves don't think there's much they can actually do.
They should all be ashamed of themselves.

mistyjackal842, I am so incredibly sorry for what you're going through. 😢

QUESTION: My Dad (lung and bronchial cancer with kidney metastases and one in the brain—that part was handled with Gamma knife; he’s already done 4 rounds of chemo using Cisplatin). About 15 days ago, his doctor basically said we should stop the chemo because it wasn't doing the trick anymore. They want to schedule a CT scan next to figure out if radiation is an option... But lately, the last 7 days have been brutal. He's in pain everywhere. The Zaldiar he was taking hasn't helped at all. We take him to the ER or the clinic, they give him Analgin IV., and he manages to get about half a day of relief. If they give him Tramadol, the pain just comes roaring back in two hours. Then it's back to the ER, and it's just this endless cycle. His GP even prescribed some Tramadol drops, but those are useless. Yesterday she gave us those TRANSTEC patches (35mg...), which I put on him last night, but he still spent the whole night suffering. This morning, it was back to needing another Analgin IV. injection. Does anyone have any suggestions? We live nowhere near a major hospital, so we've been trying to handle everything through outpatient visits.

Thank you all so much for the support. To those of you who are still fighting... please, just keep pushing. Don't give up. There’s always hope, I truly believe that.

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swiftpanther102 said:mistyjackal842, please accept my sincere condolences. 😢

QUESTION: My Dad (lung and bronchial cancer with kidney metastases and one in the brain—resolved via Gamma knife; he’s completed 4 cycles of chemo—Cisplatin). About 15 days ago, the doctor decided to stop chemo since it wasn't working; we're waiting on a CT scan to determine if radiation is an option next... For the last 7 days, he's been in pain everywhere. The Zaldiar he was taking hasn't helped. I take him to the ER or his doctor, they give him Analgin IV., and he survives about half a day without pain. If they give him Tramadol, the pain returns within two hours. Then it's back to the ER, and so on. His primary care physician gave him Tramadol drops which don't work, then yesterday she prescribed those TRANSTEC patches (35..); I applied them last night, yet he suffered through the pain all night long. This morning, it was back to the Analgin IV. injection. Does anyone have suggestions? We aren't even near a hospital, so we've been handling everything through outpatient visits.

Ask about OxyContin—it worked for us... also ask about Sevredol—it provides immediate, albeit short-lived, relief, which helps bridge the gap until the other pain medication kicks in.

Dear mistyjackal842, I am truly sorry.
Unfortunately, we lost our battle too, and a very similar situation occurred to us at Villa Brezovica... negligence and neglect... protocol errors... all sorts of terrible things... Mom is still deciding whether we should file a lawsuit.

mistyjackal842, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. 😢

I know nothing can bring Mom back, but you really need to report this. You have that white phone (not sure if you called from that or whatever), and you can file a report there anonymously. In my opinion, they are obligated to investigate every single report, so let those officials sweat a little while they try to explain what actually went down. If it were me, I’d raise hell until they listened—enough with the games and the excuses.

I realize you don't have the energy for any of this right now. Most people just don't have the strength to demand accountability, and that is exactly why things like this keep happening.

I keep reading through all these posts, searching for an answer... but there just isn't one. My heart really goes out to mistyjackal842—I'm just so incredibly sad about what your Mom is going through. It feels like we're in the same boat, honestly. They’re delaying the most basic lung puncture for my Dad "due to technical issues," which, if you ask me, is actually just because of the strike. And he’s just wasting away right in front of our eyes, day after day, dealing with lung cancer and bone metastases... it’s all so painfully obvious. They discharged him from the pulmonology department at Mount Sinai Hospital and told us to check back in a week for the testing and rehospitalization. Well, we showed up, but nothing happens, because apparently they’re only handling "emergency cases" now. In just a few months, his life has completely unraveled, but I guess he isn't "urgent" enough just because he's 76... He fights as hard as he can, and Mom and I are doing everything humanly possible, but until he hits their specific threshold for being an "emergency," we’re becoming less and less certain he’ll even survive the therapy waiting for him down the line. Even getting hold of pain medication is a struggle—we can't just find it in every pharmacy; we have to rely on knowing people just to track it down. We’ve been at the hospital practically praying they’ll just finish the tests (after he already spent three weeks there!) so they can finally set his treatment plan, but no luck. So, where does that leave us? He’s this stubborn believer in conventional medicine, and we are right there with him, but that very medicine isn't giving him a fighting chance because they can't provide timely or adequate care. I don't go around thinking my Dad is the center of the universe—he's my whole world, obviously—but I truly believed they invested in every single human life, no matter how old or "ordinary" they might seem.

Thank you all so much for the kind words and support. I tried calling the white phone line, but it just goes straight to an automated recording—it’s basically broken and doesn't work at all. They just redirect you to 911. I also called the Department of Health and Human Services, and the representative told me there's a formal complaint form on their website that I need to fill out. Honestly, I haven't been able to find that form anywhere. If anyone knows where it's hidden, please let me know. I am definitely going to file it. I guess I'm just wondering if I can proceed without an autopsy. The cause of death was listed as sepsis caused by two different types of bacteria, so... maybe the cause is clear enough even without one.

Based on everything my Mom went through, I want to advise everyone: if you value your life, please stay away from the vascular surgery department at Mount Sinai Hospital. They really ought to shut that place down. It's shameful how inhumanely they treated my dear Mom. She spent her entire career working at the National Institutes of Health helping develop vaccines, and yet this vascular surgeon at Mount Sinai refused her antibiotics. Because of that, she developed sepsis. It’s highly likely she was infected by a vaccine she actually helped create back when she was a microbiologist. It is just a disgrace how they treat people, even colleagues. That surgeon told me I was being dramatic, but Mom was running such a high fever... if he had just given her the antibiotics right then and there, the way I begged him to do today, my dear Mom would still be alive.

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melloworca6 said:I’d go as far as saying they should just shake things up at the medical board level—if it's going to be a circus, let's make it a full-blown carnival.

Honestly, there’s no point in even talking about the medical board... instead of actually serving as a regulatory body for doctors, they basically act as a protective guild that covers for them.

So sorry, mistyjackal842. I can't find any specific pattern for filing complaints on the Department of Health website either, but here's an article explaining how the White Phone works. You can probably assume they'll just point you toward the hospital director first...

The Department of Health and Human Services explains that the White Phone's role is basically to guide patients toward their rights within a hospital setting.

- Regarding complaints, when a citizen calls the White Phone for the first time, operators inform them about Section 23 of the Health Care Act and advise them to contact the hospital director, since they're the ones responsible for operations. The Department of Health and Human Services clarifies that if you don't get a response from the director within eight days, or if you aren't happy with what they say, you should call the White Phone back immediately.

http://www.newsweek.com/example-article-about-no-response--without-an-answer

mistyjackal842 said:Thanks to everyone for the support. I tried calling the White Phone, but it’s just an automated recording—it’s basically broken. They just redirect you straight to 911. I also called the Department of Health and Human Services, and the official told me there’s a complaint form on their website that I need to fill out. Problem is, I can’t find that form anywhere. If anyone knows where it’s hidden, let me know. I am definitely filing a report. I'm just not sure if they can move forward without an autopsy. The cause of death was listed as sepsis from two different types of bacteria, so the cause is clear regardless.

You can report it if you want, but honestly, an autopsy would have been better. This way, I’m guessing they just tweak the paperwork to make sure it looks like she received everything she was entitled to.

I don't know what to say about this. Just sitting here thinking. says:
Those medical boards are useless. Instead of acting as an oversight committee for doctors, they basically just serve as a shield to protect them.

I don't know. I can't just look the other way when several different people start complaining about the exact same thing. Just file a report. Even if you think nothing will come of it, the complaint still sits there on record. Once a critical mass of people starts making noise, they'll eventually have to deal with it. 🤷