Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

They’ve popped up on her chest, stretching from her breasts up toward her neck, down under her armpits, all over her back, and even on the leg that's been bothering her...

hollowridge88 said:They’re everywhere—across her chest, stretching from the breasts up to the neck, under the armpits, all over her back, and even on the leg she’s struggling with...

Unfortunately, we're looking at metastases that are aggressively infiltrating all sorts of connective tissue. 😢

Angela Wright said:Unfortunately, we are dealing with metastases that are spreading into all sorts of connective tissue😢

So you mean the cancer has spread everywhere those lumps are appearing?! Oh my God, I just can't believe it.😢

hollowridge88

Hang in there. I am just so incredibly sorry to hear that your mom is doing this poorly. My own mother passed away quite suddenly not too long ago, and since she wasn't fighting cancer, I really, truly hoped she would pull through and we'd have more time together. We actually had all these plans for her rehab and for next summer. Right now, my dad is doing relatively okay, though he’s definitely weaker than he was a few months back when Mom was still home before that last hospital stay—plus, he’s quite a bit older than she was. He helped me so much with everything regarding Mom. When the physical therapist wasn't around, Dad would be the one helping her get into her wheelchair. We even made sure to take her out for walks every single day this past summer. It was always either him or me staying home with her. And whenever he had to run errands, he could handle everything himself, even though he's significantly older than her. So, yeah... I guess you just have to be prepared for anything. Just last year, Mom was doing relatively well, so the two of us were even able to go on a trip to the coast by ourselves last summer. Everything with her just happened so fast, and I was just so close to her... we were side-by-side our whole lives.

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mistyjackal842 said:hollowridge88

Hang in there. I am so incredibly sorry to hear that your mom isn't doing well. My own mother passed away quite suddenly recently, and since she wasn't battling cancer, I really held onto the hope that she would pull through and we’d have more time together. We actually had all these plans for her rehab and for next summer. Right now, my dad is doing relatively okay, though he is definitely a bit weaker than he was a few months ago before Mom's last hospital stay, especially since he's quite a bit older than her. He was such a huge help with everything involving Mom; whenever the physical therapist wasn't around, Dad would be the one helping her into her wheelchair. We even made sure to take her out for walks every single day this past summer. It was always either him or me staying home with her, and when he had to run errands, he could handle everything himself despite his age. It just goes to show you really have to be prepared for anything. Just last year, Mom was doing so well that the two of us were able to go on a trip to the coast by ourselves for a week. Everything happened so fast with her, and I was so close to her because we truly did everything together our whole lives.

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Thank you so much! I am so sorry about your mom and your dad as well... everything moves so quickly that you barely have a moment to process it, let alone wrap your head around what is happening. Our strength lies in our will, and she has such a strong will to live, which is both the most important thing and the hardest part to face. We won't ever say goodbye to her, not as long as she is still here with us. We are going to push through this together—hoping, laughing, and crying side by side. No matter how things turn out, we will get through it as a family. Even our doctor told us directly to prepare ourselves, but honestly, as long as she is still here with us, we will make the most of it. There will be those little moments where she feels like her old self again, and for us children, those fleeting moments are enough to keep us moving forward and holding onto hope. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the support, the advice, the shared experiences, and for being here to talk and offer comfort!

Just do whatever makes your mom the happiest. How old is she now? My mother was 68, and her final days were spent in the hospital... she spent those last four days unconscious due to septic shock. But even two days before that, she was still sitting up on the hospital bed when the physical therapist arrived, even though she was already incredibly weak. They told me, while she was still able to speak more clearly, that she kept calling out for me in the middle of the night. I wasn't actually there with her at night. During the day, I stayed right by her side—feeding her, helping her drink, staying as close as they would let me. I truly believe that if the nursing care had been better, and if the doctors had been more conscientious and knowledgeable, maybe my mom could have survived.

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hollowridge88 said:So you're saying whenever there are lumps, the cancer has already spread?! My God, I can't believe it.😢

😢
Cancer cells are constantly circulating through the bloodstream and lymphatic system, which is why metastases can easily take hold anywhere.
Hang in there and make the absolute most of every single precious minute you have with your mom. Do everything in your power to keep her comfortable—make sure she’s full, hydrated, clean, and surrounded by people who love her and the warmth of everyday life, as much as her condition allows.

It kills me that I can't offer anything beautiful or encouraging to say. Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel because I've been in those exact shoes myself.

It’s all possible to provide good care and everything else right at home. Honestly, they don't even wash them in the hospital—at least not where my mom was. Maybe they give them a quick wash before surgery, and even then, only if the staff isn't on strike. My advice to anyone dealing with this: if you can, keep your loved ones at home. Even if you have to hire two nurses to help out, it's worth it. My mom's physical therapist, who used to visit us at home, told me that those nursing homes—even the state-run ones that are cheaper—are just no good, and they're hard to get into anyway. Both the therapist and a nurse told me that staffing in those public facilities is extremely low, and the workers don't really go the extra mile. For instance, sometimes they wouldn't even have time to change someone before he would arrive for his session as an outside physical therapist. Mom was actually doing pretty well physically; she could sit up in her wheelchair and didn't have a single pressure sore while she was at home. But in the hospital, she declined so fast in just a few days. Before her surgery, she developed a pressure sore and an infection from the urinary catheter they kept in her for days. In the end, she passed away from sepsis caused by that catheter, especially since her system was already so weakened following her above-the-knee amputation.

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@Olivia Cook48/">@@Olivia Cook48 & hollowridge88,

Unfortunately, I understand exactly how heavy this feels for you both. I know firsthand what it was like when my father started his treatments, and then reading through all those medical files. You always find yourself hoping for a miracle. For me, those first few months were the absolute hardest. Then, just a few months after the diagnosis, the biggest battles began because Dad couldn't even stand up; his legs were just limp, like two empty socks—zero muscle tone. But then the training started, the physical therapy kicked in, and a miracle actually happened: Dad stood up. He could even walk around the house without any help at all. He was going up and down stairs. He had such incredible willpower, stayed positive, and so did we. My mother is sensitive; she couldn't always control her emotions (especially at the beginning), and that frustrated him terribly. He wanted us to be laughing and upbeat.
And I was! I had one beautiful year with him, where every bit of progress he made showed us that anything was possible. And he didn't suffer a single day of pain—not for one full year.
Then, suddenly, everything went downhill. Dad started vomiting, and the hospital determined it was an infection. Even then, the doctors kept encouraging us, saying things were serious but that he could pull through. I believed them. Three weeks after all the questions and answers in the hospital, my father closed his eyes. It hadn't even been a month. It hurts; I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

What am I trying to tell you? After everything that happened and everything we went through together, I am grateful that I was by Dad's side 24 hours a day for a year. I was on maternity leave, and he watched me navigate my new role; along the way, he watched his granddaughter grow, he learned to walk again, and he didn't have a single day of pain. We joked around and made plans, but then everything unfolds so fast that it feels like someone stole him away from us.
I am glad he wasn't in pain. I am glad I know that my family and I did everything within our power. I am glad he saw how much we care and how we stood by him through the entire period, even when things were at their worst. I am glad that I can sit here now and smile at all those memories, knowing he received the best possible care during those last three weeks. He was clean, comfortable, and rested exactly as much as he needed. When he needed us by his side, we were there. Not just at night, but always. He was never alone, even in the hospital.

Stay close to your mothers. Be positive—I know how hard that sounds, I was the same way back then and still am today, but truly, it can mean the world to your mom—but once you step outside, let it out. Cry, vent, and do whatever you need to do to ease your own heart.

My friends, I want to extend my sincere gratitude to everyone for the insights, advice, and explanations you've shared. It has truly helped us grasp the gravity of this situation. We have an immense amount of work ahead of us. The lessons you've imparted through your own experiences will be our compass as we navigate everything that lies in wait.
There are moments of weeping and profound sadness, where we find ourselves fighting these internal battles alone.
It all feels incredibly senseless, but illness doesn't care about fairness or logic.
My mother is 48 years old. She has three daughters, a son, and three grandchildren... she has every reason to live... but how the Almighty has mapped out her path, well, only time will tell.

We will check back in—perhaps with more questions, or perhaps just to say hello. Thank you all, truly, thank you!

Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a while even though I’ve been lurking and reading everything regularly. First off, I just want to say how sorry I am to everyone here who has lost their loved ones lately. 😢

My dad finally finished all six cycles—it was the PE protocol, for those of you who aren't familiar, since he was dealing with microcellular carcinoma—and we’re heading in for his first follow-up CT scan the day after tomorrow. We'll just have to wait and see what the doctors say.
Keep your fingers crossed for us that the results come back clean. 🙂

Olivia Cook48, I am so incredibly sorry for everything you're going through right now. It hits especially hard because your mom is still so young. If I can offer any advice, it's just to keep fighting until the very end. Don't ever give up on her, no matter how heavy things get—just keep showing her how much she means to you.

Hello...
Does anyone happen to know how the ordering process works at Aviano, and what kind of pricing they typically have there?
My mother is 57. She had surgery for colon cancer four years ago, and everything seemed fine until about 11 months ago when her routine checkup revealed liver metastases. Since then, she’s completed 12 rounds of chemo and has been on Avastin. While one large lesion has actually shrunk a bit, some new small ones have appeared on the liver, so we are considering seeking a second opinion in either New York City or at Aviano. She generally feels okay and seems to be handling the whole ordeal fairly well.

Ordering from Aviano is super straightforward. I just called the number on their website, and they told me exactly which email to send the lab results to so we could book an appointment. We ended up canceling anyway since my dad had a successful surgery in New York City in the meantime. I don't recall the exact prices for the checkups, but they seemed fair enough.

Hi there,
As I’ve mentioned before, my mother is battling pancreatic cancer. She had surgery back in May where they removed most of her stomach, her spleen, and the tail of her pancreas—it was a major procedure, what they call a total resection. Mom isn't interested in any further treatments right now, so she's just resting at home...
The biggest struggle we're facing is the vomiting, which seems to be getting worse and happening more frequently. However, she isn't actually throwing up food, even though she can only manage tiny amounts; instead, it's just this clear liquid and a sort of mucus. Does anyone know what might be causing that?
The internist I spoke with explained that part of the pancreas that was affected is "responsible" for the nausea and vomiting. We've tried everything we could get from the pharmacy—things like Megostat, Reglan, and Controlok—as well as some alternatives like Graviola and AHCC, but nothing seems to provide any relief.

I’m dropping in here like a skydiver because, thank God, I don't have anyone close to me battling cancer right now—and honestly, I hope it stays that way.

I was wondering if any of you have heard about Graviola being used as a support for patients... I just brought it up in another thread, so I figured it might be worth mentioning here too.

Look, I don't know the first thing about Graviola, and the last thing I want to do is peddle false hope. Seriously, do your homework before you even think about ordering some, especially since we don't know much about potential side effects and there isn't enough solid research out there yet. But, the stories from people actually using it? They're pretty incredible. If it helps even one person, that's a win in my book.

graviola

Ronald Hughes10 said:Good afternoon, everyone.
I've mentioned this before, but my mom is battling pancreatic cancer. She had surgery back in May where they removed two-thirds of her stomach, her spleen, and the tail of the pancreas; it was a full anesthesia procedure. Mom isn't interested in any further therapy right now, so she's resting at home...
The biggest struggle we're facing is the vomiting. It’s getting worse and happening more frequently—but she isn't actually throwing up food. Even though she eats very tiny amounts, she just brings up clear liquid and this sort of mucus. Does anyone know what might be causing that?
The internist I spoke with mentioned that part of the pancreas responsible for nausea and vomiting has been affected. We've tried everything we could find at the pharmacy (Megostat, Reglan, Controlok, etc.) along with some natural alternatives like Graviola and AHCC, but nothing seems to provide relief.

Have you guys asked about trying Reglan intravenously? If she keeps throwing up, a pill just won't be able to absorb properly.

We haven't had a chance to try it yet, but I’ll need to coordinate with her primary doctor regarding home care and setting up an IV drip, so we can handle everything at once... Even though Reglan didn't seem to do anything at all back when she wasn't vomiting quite this much—I think it was just when she could actually manage to keep a pill down. Most of the time, she's just bringing up mucus and fluids rather than actual stomach contents, since there isn't any food in what she's throwing up.
Thanks

There are actually a few other options you might want to look into, such as Zofran (ondansetron) or its generic version, Ondansetron. Both medications work exactly the same way; it's just that the first one tends to be about three times more expensive.

Ronald Hughes10 said:We haven't tried that yet. I'll actually need to coordinate with her primary care physician regarding home care and IV fluids, so we can figure it out then... Even though Reglan didn't seem to do much before when she wasn't vomiting quite this much—back when she could at least manage to keep a pill down. Most of the time now, she’s just bringing up mucus and fluids rather than actual stomach contents; there's no food in what she vomits.
Thanks

My mom is battling breast cancer, and she used to deal with that same kind of mucus vomiting—mostly just spitting up saliva. She took Zofran and Ondansetron, but throughout her entire chemo treatment, she also drank ginger tea and Taheebo tea. It might be worth trying different combinations together.

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@Lisa Sullivan96/">@@Lisa Sullivan96, hey, how is your mom doing? You mentioned earlier that she’s heading back in for her scans this month, right?

My own mom actually had surgery at the start of the year, and since then she's gone through eight rounds of chemo and twenty-five radiation treatments, so now she’s finally facing those first follow-up scans. We were dealing with something similar—an invasive carcinoma, too.