Small town girl

granitebadger17 said:15-minute

what even is this...🙄😂🤣

Mark Martinez4 said:Knock back half a bottle of moonshine and walk that thin white line ☕

Man, I'm torn between beer and whiskey😕—trying to figure out which one hits more like "backwoods fuel" (if you know what I mean)—but honestly? It’s gotta be grain alcohol... yeah...

redsailor15 said:what even is this?🙄😂🤣

Man, I totally lost my damn mind here...

I meant to say a 15-minute

Look, let's be honest—almost any decent woman is a win. Who wouldn't want someone easygoing and attractive, even if they aren't the brightest bulb in the box? It’s much easier to manage when you don't have to deal with a difficult personality. Plus, if you don't even have to foot the bill for drinks or dinner, it's a complete steal.
If you're worried about them being too dim-witted, just start hooking up with them under the table the moment you sit down at the restaurant.
Then, you can get into a heated debate over which one gets to hook up with whom.
Once you finally settle on who goes with whom, take them back to bed just to be spiteful.

That’ll show them.

Morgan Allen71 said:Nah, honestly... almost every "hot" girl is a total headache. I mean, who wouldn't want someone easy on the eyes but totally dim-witted? At least it’s easier to deal with when things get... complicated... especially if you don't even have to foot the bill for drinks or dinner
if you all want to play dumb, just start hooking up under the table the second you sit down at the restaurant
then argue over who gets to go home with whom
and then, just to be petty, drag them back to the bedroom—once you finally settle on a partner, obviously

that'll show 'em

And that’s the whole point... nice work, man. Our new motto: hot is fine, but stupid is a dealbreaker... now tell me about the outfits...

Regarding suits—where exactly are you all finding them at a lower price point? Any specific recommendations for better deals?
Stop holding back so much. Show us almost everything.
Success is a mathematical certainty here. My colleague is going to face absolute ruin and public disgrace. Honestly, if at least two of you decide to walk away alongside him, that might actually be the hardest blow for him to swallow.

granitebadger17 said:But there's an indirect way! I mean, would anyone—literally anybody—be attracted to a girl like that from out in the sticks... or more accurately, some hillbilly type?

Why not? 😁 You find all kinds of people everywhere you look in this country. 🥳 There's a match for everyone, I guess... 😳

granitebadger17 said:And that’s exactly the point... nice job, man... basically our motto: hot, but brainless as hell... just let me tell you about the outfits though...

Dress like a gold digger.......and for those girls, designer logos are everything—front and center... tons of jewelry... way too much makeup

Spotted this girl, she’s got a killer figure,
Told her, "Honey, these other guys don't stand a chance,"
"I'm the real deal, I know how to handle myself,"
"And I haven't trimmed my nails in a while, so watch out."
The first time happened while we were out picking wildflowers,
The second was out in the fields, the third back in the barn,
I step into it and she’s just burning up,
That's just how it goes with a girl from the countryside.

Or maybe not?

So, I was at this party, my best man was playing bartender,
I started hitting on girls, but they weren't interested at first,
Not until they heard I was dropping a new album,
Suddenly, two or three were all over me—honestly, it was a rush.
One wanted it from behind, another from the front,
Things got a little swollen, so I had to grab some ice,
I step into it and she’s just so youthful,
That's just how it goes with a girl from the city.

😂

hollowsailor48 said:Saw this girl, she was stacked,
Told her these other guys ain't nothing to you,
I'm the real deal—trust me, I play for keeps,
Haven't trimmed my nails in ages, ready to leave some marks.
First time went down while we were picking peaches out in the country,
Second time in a field, third time in a barn,
I slide in and she's burning up,
That's just how it goes with a country girl.

Or what?

Was at this party, my best man was mixing drinks
Started hitting on girls, but they weren't feeling it
Once they heard I was dropping an album
Two or three were all over me—not gonna lie, I was feeling it.
One wanted it from the back, another from the front
My stones were aching, so I grabbed some ice
I go in and she's so young and wild
That's just how it is when a city girl lets go.

😂

pure gold..👍

granitebadger17 said:Oh man, I’m seriously torn between a cold beer and some moonshine😕—you know, trying to decide which one counts as the true "country" drink (I need to run a little comparison here, right?)—but honestly, I already know the answer: definitely the moonshine... yeah...

What a great little troll.
Moonshine is basically just water at this point. Just keep drinking! 🤦

Mark Martinez4 said:That’s a top-tier troll right there.
Bourbon is just like water. You can drink it by the gallon if you've got the stomach for it. 🤦

Anyway, whatever. 😁
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh_90zZmNcw

Jack Price34 said:It's all just—well, it's just constant filler. "Like," "you know," "so," "basically"... and they always use those weirdly formal phrases when they shouldn't. Like saying "one seeks" instead of just asking for someone's number. 🙏 For example, "The XYZ Corporation seeks your contact information." 🤣 Just sounds ridiculous.

And don't forget the overused "it was stolen" too!!!

granitebadger17 said:But she does have indirect appeal! I mean—would anyone (literally anybody) actually be attracted to a girl from the sticks—or more accurately, some total farm girl?

Hell yeah they would!!!

hollowsailor48 said:But honestly, what 😁
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qh_90zZmNcw

Bourbon will absolutely kill you—which is exactly why I make sure to enjoy a glass just once a week. 😍

Mark Martinez4 said:Whiskey kills you—it really does. That’s probably why I indulge just once a week. 😍

Oh, whiskey, my old friend,
I love you more than life,
But you’ll drag me down the gutter
And end my strife.

Richard Nelson2 said:Oh, bourbon, sweet bourbon,
I love you so much,
But you love me,
By throwing me in a ditch, slow and steady.

This thread is a total mess anyway—so let’s just chat.☕

It really is the best drink out there. It’s affordable, too. You can sip on it for an hour without feeling much of anything—you basically pay for what you’ve already consumed (which, compared to those overpriced craft cocktails, isn't a huge amount!). Then, once you have one large pour... you finally start to settle in... that warm glow kicks in, and honestly, where else are you going to find a better feeling?🤣🤣

Plus, you don't wake up with a massive headache the next morning.🤣

granitebadger17 said:Alright, I need some help—seriously. My partner and I are plotting a little sabotage. We have this coworker who is the quintessential yuppie—a total "high-class wannabe" idiot. He spends his lunch breaks condescendingly nibbling on organic salads or ducking out for fifteen minutes of "wellness relaxation," all while convinced he’s some intellectual visionary—basically a reincarnation of Sartre (or so he tells himself). Now, he claims he wants to introduce us to his crowd—apparently they're all smart, attractive guys who can't stand anything "low-class." Since this guy is driving us absolutely insane, we want to discredit him; once his "sophisticated" friends see he hangs out with such unrefined people, he'll be finished.
So, what's the move? How do we act as obnoxious as possible? What should our vocabulary look like? What's the dress code? Where should we hang out?
(P.S.: Please don't let any small-town girls take offense at the title)

You already know you'll overthink the whole thing—and then the entire plan will fall apart.😂
If you actually go through with this sabotage, you'll just end up coming home falling in love instead.🙏

granitebadger17 said:Okay, I need some help here. For real. My partner and I are planning a little sabotage. We have this coworker who’s the ultimate yuppie—a total "high-class wannabe" idiot. He spends his lunch breaks delicately picking at salads and hitting the spa for 15-minute relaxation sessions, all while acting like he’s intellectually superior. He actually thinks he's some kind of visionary artist, like a reincarnation of Sartre. Anyway, he claims he wants to introduce us to his crew—supposedly a bunch of smart, hot guys who can't stand anything "primitive." Well, since this guy is driving us absolutely insane, we want to discredit him. If we act totally unrefined, his "sophisticated" friends will realize he's just hanging out with low-class losers.
So, any suggestions? How do we lean into being as uncouth as possible? How should we talk? What should we say? What's the dress code? Where should we hang out?
(P.S. Don't let the girls from small towns take offense at the title)

There's a difference between a girl from a rural town and a total hillbilly.

granitebadger17 said:Okay, I really need some help here. Like, seriously. My friend and I are planning a little bit of sabotage. We have this one coworker who is the ultimate yuppie—just a total "high-class wannabe" idiot. He spends his entire lunch break primping himself while eating a tiny salad, or he’ll disappear to a spa for a quick fifteen-minute relaxation session, all while acting like he’s intellectually superior to everyone else. He honestly thinks he’s some kind of visionary artist, almost like a reincarnation of Sartre (or at least that's what he tells himself). Anyway, he keeps talking about introducing us to his "crew"—apparently they're all brilliant, attractive guys who can't stand anything "low-brow." Well, since this guy is driving us absolutely insane, we want to discredit him. If we show up looking completely unrefined, his "brilliant and handsome" friends will realize he actually hangs out with people they'd consider totally unsophisticated.
So, what do you suggest? How do we act as much like "low-class" caricatures as possible? How should we talk? What should we say? What should we wear? Where should we hang out?
(P.S.: Please don't let any girls from rural towns take offense at the title)

Wear clothes with loud designer logos plastered everywhere—you know, like having Gucci written right across your backside.👍 Then, pair some black leather heels with flared jeans and just start throwing out phrases that definitely don't fit the vibe. I don't mean being crude, per se, but more like mixing archaic, old-fashioned slang with heavy local regional dialects.😉😉
It’s a guaranteed winner, tried and true.🙏 🙏
I personally burned a few bridges using a similar tactic (though, granted, I wasn't wearing heels and flared jeans at the time)☕ but I was rocking those Lee jeans and some summer flip-flops.🤣 🤣