Tipping culture

So, what’s the consensus on tipping?
I’m talking strictly about coffee shops and restaurants in NYC.

How much do you guys usually tip?

I usually leave about 5 bucks, $3.25 though it really depends on the vibe—if a buddy or someone I know is working the counter, I’ll definitely hook them up more.

For a modest ten-dollar tip, you essentially purchase the status of a preferred guest—an investment that proves incredibly valuable if you intend to return to that establishment down the road. There are times when someone in my party settles the bill without leaving anything behind; in those instances, I make it a point to discreetly slip over to the bar and give $6.75 the bartender a little extra for their drinks. Consequently, whenever a place is packed, I always seem to secure a prime table, the server pays special attention to the quality of my meal and coffee... and most importantly, there is that unmistakable feeling of being genuinely welcomed.

-I’m rewriting this because my router was acting up. Either the connection is dead or the forum is just glitching out 😠.

I’m not from NYC, but let me tell you about the dark side of tips.
I had a job recently selling ice cream—pretty chill gig, right? Since I’m an outgoing, upbeat person, the customers loved me and tipped often. We're talking anything from a couple of bucks to twenty dollars.

I mentioned to my boss that I’d collected some small change, and he was just like, "Fine, put it in the drawer." Not the register, mind you, just a drawer.
It went on like that day after day, until one morning I finally asked, "Hey, what happened to my money?" And he snaps at me, saying it belongs to him and I shouldn't even dream of touching it!!!

Look, I’m not the type of person who would steal a single cent from anyone, so I didn't touch it, but the sheer injustice of it all just depressed me. I earned that money, not him.
The guy once bought me a Coke—which I rang up properly and showed the receipt to the boss—and the boss said, "Sure, go ahead and drink it." If he’d come back a few days later and claimed I drank it just to spite him or that I stole it from him... god, can you imagine?

And since things started heading south, after 23 days, he actually expected me to pull 16-hour shifts for free as overtime. That was the end of our little "relationship."

Of course, since I never saw a dime of my tips (he kept making excuses like he'd buy me something later), he starts crying about how broke I am and then fires me. (Yeah, I even took a hit from him because I had the nerve to ask about the rest of my paycheck, which was a total fantasy)

The police were involved, and I reported it to the Department of Labor, where a woman told me I have a legal right to my own tips.
Sure, you have the right on paper, but in America, there's a massive gap between what you're legally entitled to and what you actually get to keep.

Anyway, I still leave a little extra sometimes, depending on how nice the server is.

Why would you even tell him you got a tip? You should keep that to yourself so nobody notices. 🤣

A few months ago at a diner, a waiter actually picked a fight with me just because I didn't leave a tip. 😲 If he had been even slightly more polite, maybe I would have given him something, but not like that. 🙄
He basically told me I was being difficult because I couldn't decide on my order, claiming another waiter would have kicked me out by now. Is it really reasonable to expect a tip after acting like that? What I left was plenty. $267 🙄

Look, if the server is actually being helpful, they deserve a tip. I’m talking about someone who isn't just going through the motions—if they check in on you first, bring out your order promptly, and then swing back by to settle the bill, that’s service. If you’re asking for things like an extra glass of water or another Coke and they jump to make it happen? Yeah, they earned something. Not like we're dropping a fortune every time, but...

On the flip side, if you’re just sitting there with a friend grabbing a quick coffee, there really isn't much to leave. Especially if you're a broke college student. It’s fine to skip asking for change if it’s just a couple of bucks here and there, but anything beyond that feels a bit ridiculous. If the staff gets salty about it? Whatever. Let them be mad.

placidjackal36 said:Look, if the server is actually attentive, they’ve earned it. If they follow the standard flow—checking in to see what you want, bringing the food out, then circling back for the check—that's just basic service. But when they go above and beyond, like jumping up to grab an extra glass of water or grabbing another Coke without being asked twice, that's when you really step up. In that case, they deserve a decent tip. I'm not talking about throwing a single dollar on the table, but... you know...

If you sit down at a table with someone and just order a coffee, there isn't really much to leave as a tip. Especially if you're still a student and living on a budget. Every now and then, it’s fine to just tell them to keep the change if it's only a couple of bucks, but anything beyond that feels a bit ridiculous. If they get offended by that... well, honestly, let them be mad. Let them deal with it...

👍
Exactly. They’re just working for a paycheck here, not looking for tips...

If they’re actually decent people 🙂
we should grab coffee sometime. Coffee $2.25—it just leaves us both feeling like we left $3.25 because, let's be honest, you aren't exactly rolling in cash anyway. Besides, if you look like a high schooler or a college student, it's better to just leave a little something; next time, they might even be a bit nicer to you 🙂
And when the bill comes $58, honestly, just drop $5 and call it a day. It's not worth stressing over 🙂

I’ll always leave a tip if the server (or a waitress with a bit of a neckline 😬) is friendly and the food actually tastes good.
... but honestly? If I order a latte and they show up with whipped cream on top instead... man, you aren't getting a cent from me.

There's this one diner where the waiter refuses to take any yellow coins.

Just if that’s alright

rapidrider3 said:-I'm reposting this because my router was acting up. Either the line or the forum is glitching 😠.

I’m not from NYC, but if you want to hear about the darker side of tipping, I'll give you the full story.
I worked a little stint recently selling ice cream—a pretty sweet gig—and since I’m a naturally chatty and upbeat person, the customers took to me immediately and tipped quite often. It ranged anywhere from a couple of bucks to twenty.

I mentioned to my boss that I’d collected some small change, and he just went, "Okay, just put it in the drawer." Not the register, mind you, just a drawer.
It went on like that day after day, until one afternoon I finally decided to ask what happened to my little stash. His response? That the money belonged to him and I shouldn't have even dared to touch it!!!

Since I’m the kind of person who wouldn't dream of taking a single cent that isn't mine, I didn't push it, but the sheer injustice of it really stung; after all, that money was meant for me, not him.
The guy actually bought me a Coke once—which I rang up properly and showed him the receipt for—and told me to go ahead and drink it. If he had decided a few days later that I’d drank it just to be spiteful and had essentially stolen from him, I'm not sure how that would have gone.

And since that's how things were heading, after 23 days, he expected me to pull 16-hour shifts for free as overtime, which is when our "beautiful relationship" officially hit the rocks.

Naturally, since I hadn't received a dime of my tips (he claimed he was going to use them to buy something), he started whining about how much of a pauper I am before firing me. (And yes, I actually got physically intimidated by him because I had the audacity to ask about the back pay I could only dream of seeing)

The police were involved, and I also reported everything to the labor board, where a woman informed me that I am legally entitled to my own tips.
Sure, you are, but we live in America, where there's a massive gap between what you're legally entitled to and what you actually get to keep.

Personally, I still leave a little extra sometimes, depending on how decent the server is.

Good grief, you crazy girl, why didn't you just keep your mouth shut and pocket those tips yourself...

Maria Adams40 said:Hey everyone, what are your thoughts on tipping?
I am referring specifically to cafes and restaurants in Washington, D.C.

I tip exclusively in Washington, D.C., but I don't bother doing it in Princeton anymore.☕

Maria Adams40 said:Hey everyone, what’s your take on tipping?
I’m talking specifically about coffee shops and restaurants here in Washington, D.C.

You want to know my philosophy on tipping? Honestly, I feel exactly the same way Mr. Pink did in Reservoir Dogs.😁

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-qV9wVGb38

In NYC, it’s never quite right... they either act like they don't know any better, or everything is already baked into the price... ☕

😁

I don't have any extra cash lying around to leave as a tip ☕

I’ll toss in a couple of bucks here and there if I need to round up the change. Anything more than that? No way. It’s not like I’m pulling money out of thin air...
Since I’m hitting up bars all over the place multiple times a day anyway, it’s just easier to leave a little tip behind like that.

I think it’s honestly pathetic that you have to practically buy a smile from a waiter just to get decent service, as if being treated with basic respect costs extra. ☕ But I’ll let it slide 😁 because I prefer to maintain my manners. ☕

One pizza delivery guy is incredibly persistent; he keeps coming back. On the other hand, whenever a woman delivers, she always takes 😁

Nah, I don't do tips.
I work for a paycheck, and the server works for a paycheck too.
I’m not asking them to go above and beyond just so I can drop a few extra bucks on the table.

What kind of logic is that—trying to reward someone just for doing their job? They brought me my food, they did it on time, and—get this—they actually did it with a professional smile on their face 🤷.

If the server actually does their job right, I'm happy to leave a tip. Usually just a solid 10% of the check.