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Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Started by James Cox6 · · 👁 28 views · 3.9K replies

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Participants James Cox6Lisa White54shadowmason6Angela Wrightbrightgardener8Melissa Moore39James Martinez3Grace Stewart6Megan Fowler78Zachary Howard2Ashley Rodriguez41Douglas Lee13rowdyheron17placidheron24slyseal28jadesailor14Michael Newman3jadetinker42Benjamin Grant6wanderingharbor61cosmicviper76Dana Baker37Jason Torres5Peter Chavez6 …
Benjamin Grant6 Benjamin Grant6 Member
36 messages
joined Aug 2008
#301 ·
gentletiger46 said:What exactly falls out... everything? I mean, does it include eyelashes and eyebrows too? I can't seem to get a single consistent answer from anyone; some people claim it’s just the hair on your head, while others say it’s absolutely everything... Not that I’m going to complain if the hair on my legs falls out, but if it starts growing back thicker than it was before, I might just end up swinging from a tree at the local zoo... right now, this feels pretty critical... 🤣

I don't claim to know much, only that it will grow, and frankly, that’s the least of my concerns... It isn't that I feel any sense of shame regarding my illness, but still, I suppose I wouldn't particularly care for everyone to be aware of it; I know certain people who would find a twisted sort of joy in my misfortune. Besides, I work at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and you all know how medical professionals can be—they tend to pounce the moment they catch wind of a health issue, yet I would much rather discuss other topics, as being ill hasn't exactly stripped me of all my other interests... And I certainly don't want to be constantly reminded of this reality. Unfortunately, I’ve begun to get the impression that this hair loss happens somewhat more gradually. My former boss dealt with breast cancer, and for her, the thinning was quite progressive; she wasn't even completely bald after several months, which led me to hope that I might at least manage to make it through the summer months with some semblance of my own hair... So, I must admit, I am a bit shocked by how rapidly this is actually progressing...

I want to express my sincere gratitude to everyone for the responses and the comfort provided; you all truly are golden...😍 I see that Mom is... mistyridge5 Since I’ve been working, a few things have crossed my mind... I am honestly itching to get back to the grind as soon as possible, mostly because I finally landed a role doing exactly what I dreamed about throughout my entire college career. Things are finally moving in the right direction professionally, and frankly, I find myself missing my colleagues, my mentor, and even my boss... I am under no illusions, though; I know I won't have the stamina to pull those grueling 12-hour shifts like I used to, but I am still holding onto the hope that I can contribute as much as possible while gradually chipping away at my graduate school exams... Does anyone have any personal experiences or perhaps some recommendations on balancing the two? Thanks again to everyone...🙂

feralridge3 That is wonderful news regarding the chemotherapy; please, stay strong... As for the hair loss following radiation, I recall reading somewhere that there might be a possibility it won't grow back in the specific area that was treated, BUT I would take that with a massive grain of salt... I have been consuming so much information lately while under an immense amount of stress that it is entirely possible I misread or simply misremembered what I saw...

biri Walking through nature with my dogs truly does wonders for me, especially now that the weather has turned so beautiful and sunny... Humans are essentially creatures of light, and there is something about the sun that lifts anyone's spirits; when you combine that with the great outdoors and animals, it becomes an absolute perfect storm of wellness. If you don't have one yet, perhaps you might consider bringing a pet into your life—a little dog, a cat, even a rabbit—because having someone to care for makes life feel much more purposeful and less aimless... Not to mention how much it enriches your social circle; my mother actually has her own entire "dog pack" of friends she meets with every single day to roam the local parks, and they truly cherish that time together. In fact, my mother's canine companion helped me immensely during my illness, as by some stroke of luck, the owner happens to be a nurse at a private clinic with their own hematologist on staff, which allowed me to seek a second opinion and find a modicum of comfort... Beyond that, it has been proven countless times that stroking something warm and soft significantly lowers one's stress levels...

The truth is, men might think they have us figured out, but we women possess an incredible capacity to demonstrate just how much stronger we are than those petty little setbacks... If eyebrows happen to thin out—though I suspect the loss isn't uniform for everyone, given how much it depends on the specific medications one is taking—we simply redraw them. A wig is always an option, or perhaps some stylish sunglasses, a chic scarf, or a beautiful hat... then absolutely no one notices that anything about you has shifted. Most people don't even realize my mother is ill, and they certainly don't notice when she's missing "something"... in fact, I more often than not hear them commenting on how lovely it is that she changed her hairstyle...

To be fair, she didn't work at all during those first two months, but for the rest of the time, she managed... she has a job that allows her to put in whatever hours she can possibly manage—sometimes it’s just a few hours here and there—but keeping herself busy with work and her hobbies is really what keeps those thoughts of illness at bay... So, please, don't let fear get the better of you; you'll find the strength to keep working when the time comes...

Hang in there!
Angela Wright Angela Wright Regular
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#302 ·
gentletiger46 said:Wait, does "all" hair mean literally EVERYTHING? Eyelashes, eyebrows, the whole nine yards? I can't get a straight answer from anyone—some people say it’s just the hair on your head, others swear it’s everything. Look, I won’t throw a fit if my leg hair falls out, but if it grows back thicker than a jungle, I might just end up swinging from a tree at the local zoo. Right now, though, this is serious! 🤣

My mom only lost her hair on her head.
Unfortunately, the hair on her legs proved to be completely resistant to every chemical thrown at it, including chemotherapy.😳
feralwolf24 feralwolf24 Member
26 messages
joined Aug 2009
#303 ·
Richard Kim43;19872749 said:Hi there!

Hey!
My husband had surgery for stomach cancer about two and a half years ago, and they ended up removing two-thirds of his stomach. I’ve posted on this forum before, as well as on some nutrition sites focused on "For a new day" diets, which are absolutely essential right at the start. Basically, whether the disease was malignant or not, once you remove stomach tissue, you're left with a wound. That spot isn't "covered" by a protective lining anymore, so the stomach acid—which stays in the stomach for a while depending on how long food takes to digest—can actually irritate the resection site. It also really matters what kind of surgery was done. In my husband's case, he had a Billroth II, where the connection to the small intestine (where bile and pancreatic enzymes enter) is rerouted. Instead of entering after the stomach, it's more like a "dead end" situation where everything has to pass through the stomach first. Of course, those pancreatic enzymes are incredibly good at breaking down proteins, including the ones in the healing wound itself... That's just my simple way of making sense of why strict dietary control is so vital. You have to go slow and gradually increase portions based on how the patient feels over time.

I wrote about nutrition over there; I'm not sure if you've seen it, but maybe it'll give you some new ideas.
Good luck!
Arthur Castillo Arthur Castillo Newcomer
9 messages
joined Apr 2009
#304 ·
Angela Wright said:My mom only lost her hair.
Unfortunately, the hair on my legs has proven to be resistant to everything, including chemotherapy.😳

My eyelashes, eyebrows, leg hair, and even the hair under my arms and... well, down there... they've all just fallen out. The only thing left is the hair on my arms. Honestly, though, it’s actually saved me quite a bit of time—I don't have to worry about shaving, plucking my brows, or spending forever styling my hair.😉 My hair actually feels thicker and healthier now, though I have noticed the quality has dipped slightly over time. As for body hair, it’s stayed pretty much the same—if anything, it might even be a little thinner.
mistyridge5 mistyridge5 Member
25 messages
joined Jan 2012
#305 ·
Regarding WORK...and HAIR 😉

I’ve already mentioned the hair situation.
My mom didn't lose her eyebrows entirely—they just thinned out a bit, so she’d touch them up, and since her wig had a little fringe in the front, nobody really noticed. However, her eyelashes and the hair on the rest of her body did go. She started using false lashes, but honestly, there wasn't much of a noticeable difference 🤷

She went through six rounds of chemo—six cycles, to be exact—and I think she stayed away from work for the first month. After that, though, she really felt this urge to get back to her job, just to be around people again.
The only time things got particularly tough was during those hot summer months (between the ovarian surgery, the hormone shifts, and the onset of mild menopause—you know, the hot flashes and all that), but she still went in and pushed through.

Not everyone at the office knew what was going on, except for a few close friends; in fact, no one even suspected her hair was a wig.
During that time, she spent her time reading, and if things felt too exhausting, she’d just take a break. Toward the final cycles, she took some sick leave and would ease her way back. I recall she actually felt worse after the second cycle (some nausea and such).
She went to the theater, attended presentations, even joined a macrobiotic cooking class... she socialized, laughed...

She also didn't want her life to revolve solely around cancer, Zofran, or anything else. She shared advice with her "girls," which actually prompted some of them to go in for checkups they might have delayed—some caught cysts or tumors early before things really spiraled...😉

It’s good that you have an idea of how this generally plays out; it might prevent you from being so shocked if your hair starts thinning. Don't worry, summer is coming, and it’ll actually be easier without all that extra hair to deal with. 😉 And if I may offer a bit of advice based on experience: if you decide to look at wigs, try to pick one that looks similar to your natural self, especially if you aren't looking for a total transformation. 😉 Some of them can be quite "heavy," so my mom opted for a "lighter" style because summer was approaching—she wanted to work but didn't want to be sweating under a heavy cap (those were her words).

For instance, my mom used to have a short red hairstyle—sometimes lighter, sometimes darker, more toward mahogany—but she chose a slightly different cut, similar length, with a honey-reddish tint, something like that.
Just a little tinted moisturizer, some lipstick on the lips... she looked absolutely stunning!! 😍

You’ll work as much as you are able to. There might be harder days, of course, but there will also be those days where everything goes smoothly—where you find yourself laughing at a coworker's joke and you aren't just surrounded by medical reports... I truly believe you can manage that! 👍

p.s. the only thing was that the hair on her legs didn't grow back thick... it stayed much lighter and grew very sparsely.
Drew Allen Drew Allen Member
43 messages
joined Apr 2009
#306 ·
Reading through the recent posts regarding hair loss and chemotherapy, I find myself compelled to weigh in. I am truly sorry that you are all enduring such difficult experiences; only those walking that path can truly understand the weight of it.😢Let us hope that all this struggle proves worthwhile, that you achieve full recovery, and that healing serves as the ultimate reward for everything you have been forced to endure.
crimsonscout23 crimsonscout23 Newcomer
1 message
joined Apr 2009
#307 ·
Hey everyone.
Quick question here—I won't write a novel because everything is still hitting me pretty hard. My boyfriend's dad was just found to have a brain tumor (it showed up on the CT and MRI scans). The neurologist is already assuming it’s malignant, even though they haven't done a biopsy yet. There's some talk about rushing him over to Washington, D.C. to get things handled immediately.
So, my question is: how can she be so sure it's malignant if there hasn't been a biopsy?
Sorry for dumping this on you all, I'm just totally shaken up and confused by the whole thing...
feralridge3 feralridge3 Active Member
54 messages
joined Dec 2010
#308 ·
crimsonscout23 said:Hi everyone.
My boyfriend's father just had a brain tumor discovered (it showed up on his CT and MRI scans). A neurologist there suggested she suspects it's malignant, even though they haven't performed a biopsy yet (there's some talk about getting him to Washington, D.C. as soon as possible for further testing).
So my question is: how can she possibly know if it's malignant without a biopsy being done first?
I apologize for dumping this all at once, but I'm still just so confused and shaken up by everything...

Look, based on the imaging results alone, a doctor can clearly make an educated guess as to whether a tumor will be malignant or benign. In my own experience, they told me not to worry and that the tumor would most likely be benign, but after the surgery and the subsequent biopsy, it turned out to be malignant after all. 😢

From what I've observed in hospitals and gathered from conversations with various physicians, I’ve come to realize that whether the tumor is malignant or not isn't even the most critical factor—the real priority is whether it's operable, meaning, can it be completely removed.

How exactly is a brain tumor biopsy performed? 🤷
Maybe this is a stupid question... 🙈
Kenneth Wright3 Kenneth Wright3 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Apr 2009
#309 ·
My mother is battling kidney cancer that has already spread to her lungs. They had to remove one of her kidneys, and while she’s gone through two rounds of chemotherapy, we haven't seen any real progress. To make matters worse, there are two growths at the incision site that are also cancerous. Her doctor mentioned he’ll try one more specific chemo cocktail, but—to be honest—he isn't being overly optimistic about it. She’s currently on morphine patches for the pain. The surgery took place back in September.
I think I understand the gravity of the situation, but I can't help wondering how many people actually manage to pull through when things reach this stage.
Also, I'm struggling with how to best support her through this—I want to be right by her side, but seeing her in this much pain makes me feel a selfish urge to be miles away just to escape the heartache.
Drew Allen Drew Allen Member
43 messages
joined Apr 2009
#310 ·
Kenneth Wright3 said:My mother has kidney cancer with metastases in her lungs. They removed one of her kidneys. She has gone through two rounds of chemotherapy, but it hasn't helped. There are two growths at the incision site that are also cancerous. Her doctor told her personally that he would try one more cocktail of chemo, but he isn't overly optimistic. She has been prescribed morphine patches. The surgery took place in September.
I think I realize what this means, so I am just wondering how many other people in this condition actually survive.
And how can I help make this easier for her? I want to be by her side, but when I am there and see her suffering, part of me wishes I were miles away.

The others who strictly support chemotherapy might take offense, but my most sincere advice is this: if your doctor has already spoken to you the way he did, consider stepping away from it. Continuing might only leave her in a worse state than she is now, which is clearly not what you want for her. You know firsthand what chemotherapy does to people who are already weakened, so please, discuss this together as a family. I will leave a link here where you can read about 40 pages of stories from people whom modern medicine had essentially given up on; perhaps you will find a reflection of your own situation there. http://www.svetbiljaka.com/Forums/vi...start=585.html I wish nothing but the best for you and your mother. Even if some people call you a pusher or suggest you have an ulterior motive because you are pointing them toward alternatives outside of mainstream medicine, that weight rests solely on you and your family. You get the final say in which path you choose to follow. Chemotherapy is certainly an option, though in my opinion, it isn't always the best one. Perhaps a day will come when doctors truly possess the ability to help us when it comes to cancer, but unfortunately, I have more faith in other ways. 🤷
gentletiger46 gentletiger46 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Aug 2008
#311 ·
Thanks everyone for all the replies. So, I went ahead and chopped my hair down to an inch and dyed it neon orange—I mean, what does it matter? It’s all going to fall out anyway. Honestly, I love it; everyone keeps telling me how great it looks. 😁 I’ve already spotted some really cute wigs I want to check out once these holidays pass—and I've basically decided to just seize the moment and try colors and styles I’d never have dared to touch before. If I'm stuck dealing with this stupid cancer, I might as well go wild while nobody can tell me otherwise, ha!

Kenneth Wright3—just stay close to your mom. Talk to her about the good stuff, things that aren't related to the cancer, what you're doing, or what you're planning. Tell her about future plans where you see her included and things like that. Personally, I've had enough talk about this cancer crap just since being diagnosed; I can only imagine what it's like for people who have been in this fight much longer.

As for alternative medicine, I am strictly against it. Most people involved in that field don't have the slightest clue about basic biological or chemical processes. Very few, if any, of those remedies have ever passed a quality double-blind clinical study (homeopathy, in particular, takes the lead there). In fact, some homeopaths actually claim they don't even want to do double-blind trials anymore because they never get a positive result!!! If ancient medicine were more successful than evidence-based medicine, the human lifespan wouldn't be increasing thanks to modern medical advancements. Back when herbalists, homeopaths, and shamans were running the show, the average life expectancy was only 40 years. Just look at the human population growth curve. It is certain that there are herbs with beneficial ingredients. It's certainly true that drinking green tea won't hurt you, and it can have many healthy effects. But what is also absolutely certain is that the amount of active substances in plant-based preparations varies wildly from one sample to the next, and these products are poorly regulated. To put it simply, you could easily end up buying flavored water with barely any active ingredients in it.

My cousin passed away from Hodgkin twenty years ago, despite every possible remedy from both alternative and modern medicine. Today, I have the same disease, and even if it's in its worst phase, I have an 80% chance of recovery. All thanks to classic, evidence-based medicine. A drug or a remedy either works or it doesn't. And if it works, it very quickly becomes mainstream, making it unnecessary to call it "alternative" anymore. But hey, to each their own! 🙂
Drew Allen Drew Allen Member
43 messages
joined Apr 2009
#312 ·
gentletiger46, I truly, sincerely wish for you to recover as soon as humanly possible. I hope you never have to deal with illness again for the rest of your life. That is my heartfelt wish for you.
Kenneth Wright3 was simply relaying his mother's doctor's opinion, and I was just adding to that conversation. When modern medicine throws up its hands and says they can't help, it doesn't mean your hands are tied or that you should stop fighting. On the contrary, you have to fight even harder using every resource available to you.
Most people who make herbal teas claiming to treat cancer lack a fundamental understanding of how the human body actually functions. While what you're saying is absolutely correct and there's no debate there, there are a few among them who actually do understand the science. You shouldn't turn your back on medicine, but when medicine turns its back on you, what are you supposed to do? Naturally, you find a way—any way—to find a cure. People turn to "alternative" methods when doctors tell them, "No, there's nothing more we can do for you." The problem started when certain individuals began exploiting other people's tragedies just to turn a profit. Those are the types of people we need to hold accountable. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior!
Ultimately, it doesn't matter whether it's an "alternative" remedy or chemotherapy that saves you. All that matters is that you get better and that you never, ever have to deal with being sick again, whether it's a common flu or something much worse.
The only enemy we all share here is CANCER. Let's take it down! 🙂 🙂
Richard Kim4 Richard Kim4 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Apr 2009
#313 ·
feralwolf24 said:Greetings!
My husband underwent surgery for stomach cancer nearly 2.5 years ago; they also removed 2/3 of his stomach.
<cut>
Good luck.

Well, hello.

Yes, I came across your post as well. Thank you for it; I believe it on behalf of everyone searching for answers.
I printed it out and passed it to my sister-in-law in the kitchen. Honestly... there hasn't been much change since we started this diet. The issue is we can't pinpoint what triggers the spasms, the pain, and the constant rumbling... because it happens whether he eats small meals frequently or larger ones less often, or even if he barely eats at all throughout the day.

Ironically, it seems easier for him to handle the nausea when he eats the least... though obviously, that isn't a solution.
We've hit the 50kg mark... and we're holding steady there, even though he barely ate yesterday and today. If he had a bad eating day, he'd drop to 48kg.

I think the diet works in theory, because clearly, he can take the food; it's just that the physical and mental exhaustion from those spasms and pains makes him eat... almost nothing.

If only we could somehow stop those cramps and the rumbling to turn things around. But we're stuck... we can't figure out the cause, and the pills the doctor prescribed haven't done a thing.

Perhaps it's just a phase.

Thanks again for the information.

P.S. I have to admit, I don't actually know the specific name of the procedure he had; I just know they said 2/3 was removed. What bothers me most is that everything was fine during and immediately after the surgery... now, this mess has started.😢
Steven Ward25 Steven Ward25 Newcomer
1 message
joined Mar 2009
#314 ·
feralridge3, gentletiger46 ~~~~~sending you both all the courage in the world for the fight ahead.

Nancy Hernandez43, how have you been feeling lately? Have you managed to get back on your feet?

We’re doing alright over here, and Mom is doing fine too; she actually just got her nails done and they look lovely.😁

Well, hair always grows back eventually, but I suppose it’s still quite a shock when it suddenly vanishes... at least according to what Mom tells me.

Her leg hair has thinned out a bit too, though as far as her eyebrows and lashes go, those are still holding steady.

I've found myself feeling a little bit anxious again today, perhaps because of the approach of Easter, the weight of Jesus's struggles, and our own personal calvaries...
I'm just so afraid of losing her, so I try my best not to dwell on it. I attempt to push those thoughts deep down inside, but my subconscious still tends to trouble me while I sleep.

I had a dream about my late grandfather—Mom's dad—and he had come to collect her. Even though I pleaded with him to leave her alone and not take her away, he just wouldn't listen... I woke up nearly in hysterics.

Ah, may these dark thoughts depart from us all...🙂 The beautiful weather is definitely helping me shake them off, and I truly hope the same for all of you. I just look out the window, give myself a little smile, and head out to face a new day. And that’s how we handle it, every single day.

Please, stay brave, stay kind, and stay proud.

Sending everyone a big kiss...😘
slyseal28 slyseal28 Member
11 messages
joined Mar 2007
#315 ·
Kenneth Wright3 said:My mother has kidney cancer with lung metastases. They removed her kidney, and she’s gone through two rounds of chemotherapy, but it hasn't helped. Now there are two growths right at the incision site that are also cancerous. Her doctor told her straight up that they’ll try one more cocktail of chemo, but he isn't exactly optimistic about it. She's currently on morphine patches. The surgery was back in September.
I think I realize what this implies, so I'm really just wondering how many people in a similar situation actually make it through.
And how can I help make this easier for her? I want to be by her side, but when I'm actually there seeing her suffer, part of me wishes I were miles away instead.

Which specific therapy are they using?
slyseal28 slyseal28 Member
11 messages
joined Mar 2007
#316 ·
Drew Allen said:Let the others get worked up if they want to defend chemotherapy; I don't care. But if you want my most sincere advice, listen closely: if your doctor has already told you to walk away from it—because they've explicitly said it will only leave you in a much worse state than you are now, which clearly isn't what you want or need anyway—then listen to them. You already know firsthand how much chemo ravages people who are already physically depleted. We should all really sit down and collectively think about that reality. I’ll leave you with a link where you can read through forty pages of stories from people whom modern medicine simply gave up on. Perhaps you'll find a bit of your own story reflected in there. http://www.svetbiljaka.com/Forums/vi...start=585.html I truly wish nothing but the best for you and your mother. I know some people might judge you, thinking you’re just trying to push them toward alternative paths because you have some ulterior motive, but honestly? Let them talk. Ultimately, the final word belongs to you and your family. You are the ones who have to live with the decisions made, so you should be the ones choosing which path to walk. Chemotherapy is certainly one option on the table, though in my opinion, it isn't necessarily the best one. Hopefully, we will eventually reach a day where doctors actually possess the tools to truly help us when dealing with cancer, but unfortunately, I find myself placing more of my faith elsewhere. 🤷

I'll quote one of the posts from your link: Anyone who decides to contribute to this thread should take a moment to look at the sheer volume of traffic here. The attendance is massive, and because of that, you carry a heavy moral weight on your shoulders. The people reading these posts are either fighting for their own lives or desperately searching for a lifeline for someone they love. About six months ago, I was incredibly vocal here—honestly, I went off on a bit of a rant—about how "incurable" cancer supposedly becomes after certain "alternative remedies" are tried. But things changed when my mother started following official medical protocols through AT&T. After just a few months of that, she was practically on the verge of being considered cured. She’s still undergoing treatment, and so far, everything is progressing exactly as it should, even though she had been all but written off by doctors previously. I felt a personal responsibility to come back, write this, and apologize to everyone currently in the trenches. As for her, the chemotherapy has yielded excellent results. We manage the side effects by sticking to freshly squeezed juices and herbal teas—focusing on boosting her immune system and improving her blood counts. There’s no doubt that vitamins play a role in helping the body recover during this fight, but it's most effective when you get them from fresh fruits and vegetables. To suggest that people should take massive, excessive doses of vitamin supplements is incredibly irresponsible and dangerous, especially when intense therapies have likely already compromised their liver and kidney function.

I should add this: it’s incredibly unfair to claim that conventional medicine doesn't yield results. The fundamental issue here in the States isn't the efficacy of the science, but rather the fact that new, cutting-edge medications are simply out of reach for most people. We have been pointing this out for quite some time—the systemic problem with drug formularies being completely opaque and confusing. You see a mountain of cheap generics sitting on the high-cost medication lists, while actual breakthroughs are sidelined. I’m not sure if you even realize that under our current legal framework, there isn't even a formal definition for what constitutes an "expensive drug." There are no clear, standardized criteria determining why one specific medication gets categorized as high-cost while another doesn't. Essentially, Medicare just makes its own arbitrary calls on what counts as expensive and what doesn't. Can you even begin to imagine how much room that leaves for corruption and backroom deals? Take Avastin, for example. It's currently sitting on the standard formulary instead of the high-cost list. Because of that classification, the cost of treatment falls entirely on the hospital's budget, which inevitably means the drug isn't accessible to every patient who needs it. Take a look at the link regarding this matter. Instead of trying to enforce strict order or obsessing over bureaucracy, the priority should be getting new medications added to the approved lists immediately. Things would be much better if we focused on that. Cancer mortality rates in this country are climbing because our hospitals simply can't keep up with the costs of treatment; Medicare is cutting corners on patient care and refusing to listen to medical experts. All of us here fighting cancer aren't skipping our medications because we’ve lost our minds or because we have nothing better to do. We need those damn drugs because we are sick. This isn't about whether those of us on the Health Forum are "pro-chemotherapy" while you on the Alternative Treatment Forum are "pro-alternative." Let's be realistic: cancer and other severe chronic illnesses unfortunately cannot be cured with just vitamins and herbs.
We also need to be honest about the fact that there are certain illnesses and nasty tumors for which an effective cure simply doesn't exist yet. That reality is one of the heaviest burdens any patient has to carry. The absolute last thing those people need is some "well-meaning advice" from strangers telling them to ditch conventional medicine in favor of herbalists and shamans.

I don't deny that there are specific supplements out there that can help bolster the immune system. However, all of that should only be done in close consultation with a physician.
Drew Allen Drew Allen Member
43 messages
joined Apr 2009
#317 ·
slyseal28 you completely misunderstood me. I’m not trying to push anyone away. I am right here in this fight alongside you, and I truly understand what you—and everyone facing an illness or caring for someone who is sick—are going through. My only intention was to say that if your doctors tell you (though let's hope it never comes to that) that there is STILL hope and that you need to keep fighting, then you should. If you disagree with me, I'm sorry. 🤷 Believe me, I am not taking sides. My only goal is recovery; how we get there isn't what matters to me. I'm sorry you took my words the wrong way.
Benjamin Grant6 Benjamin Grant6 Member
36 messages
joined Aug 2008
#318 ·
Linda Cox69 said:feralridge3, gentletiger46 ~~~~~sending some courage for the ongoing fight.

Nancy Hernandez43, how are you doing? Have you recovered?

We are doing fine. Mom is too. She even got her nails done beautifully.😁

Well, the hair will grow back, though it is still quite a shock when it’s gone... at least according to what Mom tells me.

Even her leg hair has thinned out. As for eyebrows and lashes, those are still holding on for now.

I've been feeling a bit of anxiety creeping in again. I suppose it's because of Easter, Jesus's struggles, our own calvaries...
I am terrified of losing her. I try not to dwell on it, pushing it deep down inside, but my subconscious still haunts my sleep...

I dreamed of my late grandfather—Mom's dad—that he had come to take her. Even though I begged him to leave her alone, to let her stay, he wouldn't listen. I woke up nearly hysterical from weeping...

Ah, may dark thoughts depart from us all...🙂 The beautiful weather definitely helps in shaking them off. I wish the same for all of you. I look out the window, force a smile, and start a new day. And so it goes, every single day.

Please, stay brave, kind, and proud.

Sending kisses to everyone...😘

Wishing everyone all the best for the Holidays!

I think I've just been caught in a bit of nervousness due to everything, so there isn't much news regarding recovery on my end; just resting, eating well, and keeping everything under control.

Our mother is made of pure steel, and I truly believe she will push through this final round of chemo, after which a full recovery will follow. I know it is impossible to predict what the near future holds, but for now, I simply cherish every moment spent with her. As she would say, "No problem, I can draw my own path in life"... 👍(even without hair, eyebrows, or lashes)

Stay brave, don't give up, find your strength, seek peace, and keep fighting!
Kisses
slyseal28 slyseal28 Member
11 messages
joined Mar 2007
#319 ·
Drew Allen said:slyseal28, you completely misunderstood me. I’m not pushing anyone anywhere. I am right here in this fight alongside you, and I know exactly what you—and everyone else dealing with illness or caring for someone who is—are going through. All I wanted to say was that if your doctors tell you (and let’s hope it never comes to that) that it’s actually NOT all over yet and that you need to keep fighting, then take that to heart. If you disagree with me, I’m sorry. 🤷 Believe me, I’m not taking sides. My only goal is recovery; how we get there isn't what matters to me. I truly am sorry you took my words the wrong way.

But the *how* matters immensely when you're looking for a cure... and that’s precisely where the trouble lies. You can't just go to people who feel backed into a corner and say, "Look, if the doctors have written you off, just try a bunch of unverified stuff and I promise you'll be cured." Maybe that isn't exactly how you phrased it, but that is the kind of input we most often get from the "alternative medicine" crowd. And don't even get me started on those folks who disparage modern medicine with such vague, nonsensical claims—it's honestly terrifying.
I’m speaking to you primarily from the perspective of a wife watching her husband slowly, steadily slip away. What we deal with constantly is being bombarded with advice like: "Start using MMS," "Try Mattias Rath's vitamins," "Read that famous book by Lothar," and dozens of other unproven miracles... promising that success is guaranteed. They imply that because medicine doesn't have an immediate answer, they do. It puts us in this agonizing position where we start questioning every single step we’ve taken to fight for more time. Eventually, you find yourself spiraling: Should we have skipped the chemo or radiation? Is there really a conspiracy? Are greedy pharmaceutical companies withholding the real cure? I don't know if you see what I'm trying to convey... the fundamental, crushing problem is that there are diseases for which a cure simply does not exist yet.

The prognosis for my husband was one year. We are now entering our third year. The situation isn't great, and we aren't giving up. But we are fighting with conventional medicine. If we had thrown in the towel, he would have passed away within three months, because his tumor is so aggressive that no herb or vitamin could ever hope to stop it.
My husband still possesses an endless will and the strength to keep going. He is currently in the hospital, having undergone his second surgery (thoracic) this past Wednesday. He’s already back on his feet today and is itching to get home. Meanwhile, I am just trying to find some way to reach that damn cure (which, of course, isn't on any approved list) that might give him just a little more time.

I want to emphasize this once more: the hardest thing any patient has to face is the reality that for some illnesses, there truly is no cure, and everything boils down to simply extending life.
Benjamin Grant6 Benjamin Grant6 Member
36 messages
joined Aug 2008
#320 ·
gentletiger46 said:Thanks everyone for the replies. So, I went ahead and chopped it down to an inch and dyed it neon orange—I mean, what does it matter, it’s all going to fall out anyway... and honestly, I love it; everyone keeps telling me how great it looks. 😁 I’ve already spotted some gorgeous wigs I want to check out once these holidays pass—so basically, I’ve decided to just lean into it and try colors and styles I never would have dared to touch before. Since I’ve got this stupid cancer anyway, I might as well go wild while nobody can tell me otherwise, right? HA!

That’s the spirit! That’s what they call having youth and soul, and holding onto it because it’s positive!

gentletiger46 said:Kenneth Wright3- stay close to Mom, talk to her about beautiful things that aren't related to cancer—what you’re doing, what you’re planning. Talk to her about future plans where you see her included, too. Personally, I’ve had enough conversations about this cancer crap just since being diagnosed, so I can only imagine how it feels for those who have been in this fight much longer.

As far as alternative medicine goes, I am strictly against it. The vast majority of people involved in that field don't have the slightest clue regarding basic biological or chemical processes. Very few, if any, of those remedies have ever passed rigorous double-blind clinical studies (homeopathy, in particular, really leads the pack there). In fact, some homeopaths even claim they don't want to conduct double-blind trials anymore because they never yield positive results!!! If ancient medicine were more successful than evidence-based medicine, the human lifespan wouldn't have extended so significantly through the development of modern medicine. Back when herbalists, homeopaths, and shamans were running the show, the average life expectancy was only 40 years. Just look at the human population growth curve. It is certainly true that certain herbs possess beneficial properties. It is also true that drinking green tea won't hurt you and may offer many health benefits. But what is equally certain is that the concentration of active substances in herbal preparations varies wildly from one sample to the next, and these products are poorly regulated. To put it simply, you could very easily end up buying flavored water with negligible amounts of actual active ingredients.

I’m not an expert in medicine so I can’t make absolute claims, but the fact remains that if alternative medicine were actually that effective, people wouldn't be heading to doctors. In any case, our mother isn't using anything alternative and she’s showing steady progress on the right path. Because of her, and everything the doctors told her with the best intentions, I believe there’s no need to resort to alternative methods when modern medicine has so much more it can do. Of course, people can approach it individually if they feel they will benefit more, because anyone truly willing will throw everything they have at finding a way to heal...

gentletiger46 said:My cousin passed away from Hodgkin twenty years ago, despite being given every possible treatment available, from alternative remedies to modern medicine... Today, I find myself facing the very same diagnosis, and even if I am currently in the most difficult stage, I have an 80% chance of recovery—thanks entirely to conventional, evidence-based medicine. A drug or a treatment either works or it doesn't... And once something actually works, it quickly becomes mainstream, at which point there is really no longer any need to label it "alternative." But then again, everyone is entitled to their own preferences... 🙂

Stay strong and don't let this get to you! You're young, and you can push through this; just have faith... Personally, I deal with the same underlying fear of Hodgkin because my father went through something similar, and we recently heard there might be more cases in the family... but even if it happens, nothing is going to break me, because I know it’s possible to win this round (we’re basically living out our own version of *Cinderella Man* here... 🤣)!
Hang in there!

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