Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Dear Lara, please accept my deepest condolences. 😢

Susan Diaz91,
please accept my deepest condolences.
If there’s any comfort to be found, it’s that you actually made it to her side. You were able to find closure, embrace her, and share those final kind words. I’m sure that meant the world to her, and it allowed her to pass in peace.

Susan Diaz91 said:she passed away.. in her sleep.... 🙂
there simply aren't any words in the English language capable of describing this grief... my dear friends, I feel as though my heart might actually shatter... 🙂
.... this pain is utterly unbearable

one finds themselves without the vocabulary to articulate such a loss, nor are there words sufficient to offer true solace... please, try to remain strong and refuse to let this agony break you—you still have a small life ahead of you, and a little angel who relies on your smile and your stability. My deepest condolences🙂

Susan Diaz91,saucesce.😢😢😢😢

Lara, take my damn sauce.

Susan Diaz91 said:she passed away... in her sleep... 🙂
i can't even find the words to describe this grief... honestly guys, I feel like my heart is actually going to snap 🙂
.... this pain is just unreal

Lara, I am so incredibly sorry. Please accept my deepest condolences. You were so brave through all of this.. Your mom is in a much better place now, she's moved past this valley of suffering and I know she’s so proud to call you her daughter.

Dear Lara... I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

Susan Diaz91 said:she passed away.. in her sleep.... 🙂
I can't even find the right words to describe this grief... honestly, I feel like my heart is just going to shatter 🙂
.... this pain is absolutely unbearable

😢🙂
I am so incredibly sorry, dear. Please accept my deepest condolences. You did everything humanly possible for her. Don't let the guilt eat at you; she’s in a much better place now than she was here on this earth, watching over us alongside my own mom.
Let her rest in peace now and try to find a way to move forward. That is undoubtedly what she would want for you.
Hang in there and keep staying as brave as you have been.

Oh, honey, I had absolutely no idea you were going through all of this. A few days ago, seeing your message pop up in my inbox truly made my day—it was such a bright spot! And now, here you are, facing one of the hardest chapters of your life.
Please know that you’ve been in my thoughts and my prayers since I heard, and I’ll be keeping them coming.
My heart truly goes out to you. 😢

Susan Diaz91 said:she passed away... in her sleep.... 🙂
i can't even find the words to describe this grief... honestly, guys, it feels like my heart is actually going to break 🙂
.... this pain is just too much

I'm so sorry, honey.
Man, what is there even to say... the weight of this is still just way too heavy. There aren't any words out there that are ever gonna make this better.
You just have to let it out and cry it all out. Thinking of you...🙂

Hi everyone. I’m joining this group in hopes of finding some semblance of peace for my soul. To be honest, the last two months have been such a relentless barrage of hardship that I find myself questioning if I can actually weather this storm and come out on the other side sane—though I know I don't have much of a choice. My granddaughter still needs me to be whole.
On July 19th, my father passed away quite suddenly, leaving a massive, aching void in our lives. Then, just four short weeks later, we received the news that my mother has colon cancer, and it has already metastasized to her liver and lungs. I haven't even had a moment to process losing my dad before I'm forced to brace for the reality of losing my mom. Where does one even begin to find the strength for this?

Emily Fox15 said:Dear everyone, I’m joining you all here today just to try and find a little bit of peace for my soul. Honestly, in the last two months alone, so many terrible things have happened to me that I find myself wondering if I can actually get through this while staying sane and healthy—though I know I have to, because my little granddaughter still needs me so much.
On July 19th, my dear father passed away so suddenly, leaving behind such an immense void and so much heartache. Then, just four short weeks later, we found out that Mom has colon cancer, and it has already spread to her liver and lungs. I haven't even had a moment to process Dad's passing before I'm forced to brace myself for Mom's battle. Where does one even find the strength for this?

I know where I would look for that strength: in faith. If you are a believer, go to church, or even just set aside five minutes of quiet time in your own room each day for prayer. Prayer is simply a conversation with God. After all, Jesus went to the cross specifically so that our sufferings could hold meaning. He is our greatest friend. Just tell Him from the very depths of your heart, "Jesus, this burden feels too heavy for me; please help me carry it." Just as Simon Cirenac was helped to bear his cross, remember that with Him, you can endure anything, but without Him, we can do nothing.
If you aren't a person of faith, then look for a truly sincere friend, a brother, a sister, a relative, or perhaps someone who has walked a similar path. Sometimes, a simple heartfelt conversation or even just a hand to hold can make a world of difference.
Human beings are social creatures by nature, and we aren't meant to walk this life entirely alone.
When my own father passed, having people close to me made the weight feel a little lighter. And there were times when it was simply better to retreat into solitude and just let the tears flow. Time really is the best healer.
For now, try to focus on the fact that your mother needs you. Let being there for her be your primary purpose right now. Try to find a sense of purpose in being able to support her; that purpose will become your strength. Accept what you cannot change. I am wishing you nothing but the very best.

Dear Lara, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.😢😢

I realize this thread is quite old, but I find myself facing the exact same situation as the original poster.

My grandfather is battling end-stage prostate cancer. Last spring, he underwent surgery, and things actually looked promising for a while—he gained some weight and seemed to be managing during his follow-up appointments. However, since the summer, things have taken a turn for the worse; he’s dealing with numbness in his limbs and extremely poor blood counts, requiring monthly red blood cell transfusions
. Over the last two weeks, his condition has spiraled. He can no longer walk, spends his entire day sleeping or lying down, and refuses food—especially meat. He's incredibly weak, and as of tonight, he's lost control of his bladder or is unable to urinate at all. I couldn't quite catch what my grandmother said, but I think she ended up buying him adult diapers.

If anyone here has dealt with this specific stage of the disease, could you tell me how much longer this period of suffering typically lasts? His health declines with every passing day, and I know we don't have much time left; I just don't want him to continue in pain. Is there anything at all we can do to make him more comfortable? What can we do to ease his transition?
The doctors at the Mayo Clinic told my grandmother that further hospital visits are essentially pointless now... the only thing left is to continue the red blood cell transfusions.

Thank you all for any insight or advice you can offer.

Ashley Fisher2 said:I realize this thread is pretty old, but I’m facing the exact same situation as the original poster.

My grandfather is battling end-stage prostate cancer. Last spring, he had surgery and things actually looked up—he gained some weight and stayed on top of his checkups. But since last summer, everything has spiraled. He’s dealing with numbness in his limbs and his blood counts are abysmal; he’s been receiving red blood cell transfusions once a month
. For the past two weeks, his condition has just plummeted. He can't walk anymore, spends all day sleeping or lying down, and refuses to eat, especially meat. He’s incredibly weak, and as of tonight, he can’t urinate properly or it's completely uncontrolled. I didn't quite catch what my grandmother said, but she ended up buying him adult diapers.

If anyone here has dealt with this specific illness, could you tell me how much longer this suffering usually lasts? His condition is deteriorating daily, and I know he doesn't have much time left; I just don't want him to be in pain. Is there anything at all we can do to make him more comfortable?
The doctors at the local hospital told my grandmother that there isn't much point in coming back anymore... the only thing left is to keep him on the red blood cell transfusions.

Thanks everyone for any answers or advice.

He needs palliative care if it’s an option. I had an aunt with that diagnosis who lived for 15 years and passed away at 95.
I highly recommend scheduling a consultation for your grandfather with Dr. Trnski at the Mayo Clinic. He’s a urologist and a true specialist when it comes to these complications. My aunt had several procedures performed by him to clear out new growths that were blocking her bladder. In fact, he operated on her just a week before she passed because urine was backing up into her kidneys and causing excruciating pain. It provided such relief because she had been suffering so terribly before that. She passed away peacefully, and as the doctor puts it, she died of old age rather than the cancer.
To be clear, he won't cure your grandfather, but he can certainly manage the symptoms so he can live with the disease.
Unfortunately, in our healthcare system, they tend to cut corners on these kinds of procedures, especially with elderly patients. It seems like Dr. Trnski is the exception to that rule.
Also, your grandfather absolutely needs to be put on an IV if he can't keep food down anymore.

Things are just spiraling downhill over here. My mom had her second surgery back on August 28th, and she didn't finally get discharged from the Mayo Clinic until Friday the 11th. Everything just went sideways during her stay—she had a CSF leak that they eventually managed, but now she’s dealing with a thrombosis in her left leg. Her leg is absolutely swollen, like, massive. The veins have started bursting, so they've moved her onto IV therapy through her legs. Then the coughing started, and she’s back to that vacant, hollow stare. Honestly, seeing that look in her eyes is the hardest part for me mentally. She’s heading to oncology tomorrow to hopefully start Temodar. It's been a struggle; she's been in diapers for a while now and can barely make it to the bathroom without us practically carrying her. Man, it's terrifying how fast this disease just eats someone up. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she was a perfectly healthy woman just two months ago.
Do you guys think she's already entering the terminal phase?

Dear friends...
I felt compelled to write because, for the last three years, I have been walking the same path that most of you are on right now. Angela Wright started this theme, and she has achieved something she likely never expected. This discussion has proven that when it comes to illness, we are all equal; our loved ones face immense battles that they can only win with our unwavering support. Please, do not leave them to fight alone, no matter how exhausted you feel or how difficult this journey becomes for your family. Even today, I think about how painful it was to watch my father fade away; his physical suffering created a profound emotional ache within me. Yet, remembering how much our care meant to him brings me a sense of peace, knowing he wasn't alone during his hardest moments. Stand by your loved ones during their struggle, and never, ever let them give up.
I know I am not offering anything groundbreaking, but I simply want you to know that you are not alone in this fight... 🙄

Carol Mitchell86 said:Things are just spiraling downward here. My mom had her second surgery back on August 28th, and she didn't get discharged from the hospital until Friday, September 11th. Everything went sideways during her stay—she had a CSF leak that they eventually stabilized, but now she’s dealing with a thrombosis in her left leg. Her leg is massive. The veins have burst, and they’ve started IV therapy directly in her legs. On top of that, she’s developed this cough, and she’s once again completely vacant, staring off into nothing. That blank look in her eyes is honestly the hardest part for me to handle mentally. She’s seeing an oncologist tomorrow to hopefully start Temodal. She’s been dependent on diapers for a while now and can barely make it to the bathroom without our help. It’s terrifying how fast this disease advances. I can't wrap my head around the fact that she was a perfectly healthy woman just two months ago.
Do you think she's already entering the terminal phase?

Oh honey, it’s so hard to say. My own mother was completely immobile and spent a year and a half bedridden.
But since she just had surgery—and brain surgery at that—you have to hang in there. Given the thrombosis, I doubt they’ll even start her on Temodal until they get that situation under control.

Susan Diaz91 said:She passed away... in her sleep... 🙂
I honestly can't find the right words to express this level of grief. It feels like my heart might actually break. 🙂
...this kind of pain is just overwhelming.

Please accept my deepest, most sincere condolences.

Susan Diaz91 said:she passed away.. in her sleep.... 🙂
i can't even find the words to describe this grief... honestly, I feel like my heart is just going to shatter 🙂
.... this pain is just unbearable

Dear Lara, please accept my deepest condolences.😢