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Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses
Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses
Started by James Cox6 · · 👁 299 views · 3.9K replies
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#1322 ·
Kimberly Wright said:Man, emotions just hit me out of nowhere today. I guess I’ve had way too much downtime lately, because my brain started spiraling and honestly, it's hitting hard. Plus, we're heading in tomorrow to pick up the PET/CT results... so yeah. Just one of those days.
I know exactly how you feel. That constant, gnawing fear, the restlessness, that total sense of uncertainty... It’s heavy. Honestly, I don't even know how I'm doing anymore—or if I even exist at all. 😕Just normal.
I'm pulling for you. Hang in there.
#1323 ·
Keith Thompson said:...I can't speak to the current state of affairs here in America, but I can tell you that conflicts of interest are everywhere. At the end of the day, it's the people who shape society, politics, and general direction. If your association grows large enough to actually have a voice, you'll find yourself with a completely different perspective and vision. By the way, Prof. Dr. med. R. Beliveau wrote a fantastic book called "Cancer cells don't like raspberries." It’s an incredible read—I'm not sure if it's been translated into English yet, but if not, what are you waiting for?👍
The real issue we face is people who refuse to step up publicly because they're terrified. We aren't quite sure what exactly they're afraid of, but it likely stems from a mindset forged over decades under that old system where silence was the only way to survive.
We constantly call for unity, yet we see this pattern repeat: someone finally stands up and tells the raw truth, and instead of support, they get shunned by their own peers. Then, the authorities swoop in to publicly lynch them and brand them as lunatics.
That book title, "Cancer cells don't like raspberries," really hits home for me. It feels like a perfect metaphor for the state of both the body and the collective mind of a nation, especially when dealing with cancer.
But honestly, books might be a lost cause; even if we did get everything translated, most people in this country won't pick up anything that isn't sensationalist tabloid trash.
#1324 ·
Kimberly Wright said:Yes...
And I find it utterly incomprehensible. It is as if nobody even mentions it...
It was only once my mother received her diagnosis, and I began discussing it with colleagues at work, that I realized there isn't a single soul in this entire corporation whose close relative—or perhaps they themselves—hasn't been struck by cancer.
A colleague, a dear friend of mine, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer while she was still just a teenager. Another coworker lost her father to esophageal cancer; a third lost a sister to sarcoma; a fourth lost her father to a brain tumor; one colleague lost both his father and grandfather to lung cancer, while his mother battled melanoma; another colleague’s mother dealt with ovarian cancer... and just last week, a colleague's father passed away from liver cancer.
I wonder, really, what are we talking about here? It feels as though every third person is touched by a tumor.
This is simply not a normal state of affairs... It strikes me as absurd that the media focuses so heavily on something like swine flu when so many people are dying from cancer. It defies all logic, and I struggle to understand why society chooses to reason this way... 😢
I have come to realize that from the moment my mother's diagnosis was handed down, both she and I have felt somewhat detached from the life unfolding around us. It is as if she has already departed, leaving me hovering somewhere in the periphery...
Judging by the sheer haste with which these screenings are conducted, I am left with the impression that my mother has already been written off at the very onset of her diagnosis. The medical staff seem to radiate a certain sense of helplessness and despair...
So, I suppose I am letting my emotions get the better of me today; clearly, I had far too much idle time to allow these thoughts to take hold. And besides, we head in tomorrow for the PET/CT results...
I have posed this question now, and those who have been here long enough know that I am merely a bystander, so I will admit that my own inquiry is somewhat hypocritical...😢 because I am not taking any action myself. Yet, whenever we manage to clear an obstacle, I find myself hoping we won't have to endure a similar ordeal again. People will likely spend these days protesting against fur usage because the local news is full of flyers regarding it... and I truly feel that if a flyer were ever distributed regarding the injustices faced by oncology patients, the response would be nowhere near as significant.
The greatest challenge for my family is living in a small community filled with prejudices and judgments, and unfortunately, battling cancer is often treated as the ultimate stigma. We haven't quite mastered navigating it, even though three years have passed, but whenever anyone did reach out, we made every effort to help. I believe many families are like ours—small, insular, and keeping their struggles to themselves simply because we lack the strength to be the first to speak up.
No matter how much your emotions overwhelm you, never think the things I have bolded above, because regardless of how harrowing and difficult the fight may be—that is simply what life is. What you both have realized through this struggle is not a detachment from life, but rather a clumsy opportunity to understand what life actually entails, and how trivial everything seems when someone comes to you complaining because they broke a nail or got into a fender bender... I won't waste more words on everything that suddenly becomes so banal!
I, too, am being swept away by these emotions, and they hit me in waves, quite terribly, but it is what it is... If these questions were constant, I wonder what would happen. This is how I live for a time: alternating between an illusion of total happiness and a harsh, unforgiving reality.🙄
And if I may add... there is no such thing as those who are immediately placed on a list of the hopeless, nor are there those immediately categorized as "winners," because regardless of whether doctors try or fail to indicate one outcome or the other—every patient is a distinct individual, and it is impossible to predict the final result.
#1325 ·
Angela Wright said:We are dealing with a segment of the population that refuses to speak up because they are paralyzed by fear. It remains somewhat ambiguous what exactly they fear, though it likely stems from a deep-seated cultural conditioning forged over decades under the old regime, where silence was the only reliable mechanism for survival...
We constantly preach the necessity of unity, yet we witness scenarios where an individual dares to voice the unvarnished truth, only to be abandoned by their peers who refuse to offer even a modicum of support. Consequently, these individuals find themselves targeted by the establishment, publicly vilified and branded as lunatics.
I find the book title—suggesting tumor cells have an aversion to raspberries—to be quite poetic; it seems to provide a profound metaphor for the state of the national psyche, particularly within a body politic ravaged by malignancy.
Though, I suppose books are a futile endeavor; even if we were to translate it, our society seems far more preoccupied with sensationalist tabloids than actual literature...
In my view, the issue isn't necessarily the collective mindset, but rather the sheer smallness of our social circles.🤷On the other hand, through everything we endure, we find ourselves fighting solo and repeatedly hitting dead ends. Such is the nature of existence, I suppose... when one fights tooth and nail for success or status, there is a natural inclination to protect that progress, fearing that someone might exploit their own sincerity or misplaced optimism. Perhaps I am being overly cynical, given that in matters of health, we aren't discussing career advancement but life itself, yet we must acknowledge that not everyone operates from a position of equal opportunity in today's climate.
#1326 ·
I don't know what you're trying to get at here. You haven't actually said anything. Just drop the nonsense and state your point if you want a response. Angela Wright says:
The issue here is that our pond is just too small. It isn't strictly about how people think, though—it’s more about the limitations of living in such a tiny bubble.🤷Look, we’re all out here fighting our own battles, constantly slamming our heads against closed doors. That’s just how life works, isn't it? When you're grinding tooth and nail to claw your way toward success, a promotion, or whatever milestone you've set, you naturally try to protect that progress. You don't want someone to swoop in and snatch away everything you've built just because you were naive enough to believe everyone plays by the same rules or shares the same integrity. Maybe I'm being a bit cynical, and sure, when you're dealing with a health crisis, the whole "career ladder" argument feels trivial since we're talking about survival itself—but let's be real: in today's world, we aren't all starting from the same playing field.
The ability to grasp and embrace material wealth isn't about the size of your environment—it’s entirely down to mindset.
That’s exactly the point: people need to wake up to the fact that this "democracy" everyone loves to brag about is nothing more than empty rhetoric if you aren't actually living it. It isn't about some lone individual fruitlessly banging their head against a locked door. Real change happens when we organize into actual communities—groups that stand shoulder-to-shoulder for the same causes and fight for the same solutions within civil society. That’s how you build real leverage. When you have that kind of collective force behind you, those doors will swing open at light speed, just like Sesame Street.
It isn’t enough to just sign some membership form for an association, pay your dues, and then settle comfortably into your cozy little routine—sitting there in the warmth of your own home while you watch people trample all over the organization, waiting around for someone else to fix a global crisis.
People seriously need to have a wake-up call and finally grasp reality: that figure of 25,000 cancer diagnoses every year isn't just some meaningless statistic or a pile of data points. When you factor in their families, we’re talking about hundreds of thousands of actual human beings. They aren't just numbers on a spreadsheet or some faceless crowd to be brushed aside; these are individuals with real stories, real lives, dreams, and ambitions. The government needs to learn that lesson once and for all. What we are going through right now—other countries didn't escape this exact same struggle without eventually realizing it too.The true measure of a nation isn't found in its GDP or the size of its military, but in the sheer muscle and scale of its civil society. It’s about how much weight the people can actually throw around when they stand together outside of government halls. When community groups, non-profits, and grassroots movements have real teeth, they act as the ultimate check on power. Without that collective strength, you don't have a functioning democracy—you just have a collection of individuals waiting to be told what to do.The whole system is rigged. We’re looking at institutions that were supposedly built to serve the public interest—to work for us—but instead, they just hire politicians to look out for their own pockets. It’s supposed to be about the people, but it’s actually just a way to keep them in power.
Even though they’ve tried to tear her down and paint us all as nothing more than corporate shills for Big Pharma, the bottom line remains the same: the situation in Cleveland has been resolved. The Secretary can claim all he wants that we had nothing to do with it, but we know better.😉
Is that why he was foaming at the mouth?☕
The problem is that this is just one single battle we've managed to win for now. If you don't have the long-term backing of the everyday people—the little guys who actually end up taking the fall when things go south—you aren't going anywhere. Period.
#1327 ·
Nancy Hernandez43 said:The biggest struggle for my family is just living in this small town where everyone is so quick to judge, and honestly, dealing with cancer feels like facing the ultimate social stigma. We haven't quite found our footing yet, even though it’s been three years now, but whenever anyone reached out—we tried to accept the help. I truly believe there are so many families out there, just like ours, keeping their struggles quiet and staying closed off simply because they don't have the strength to be the first ones to speak up.
No matter how much these emotions wash over you, please don't ever fall into the mindset I mentioned in bold, because regardless of how grueling or heavy the fight gets, that's just what life is. What you both realized through this whole ordeal isn't some departure from reality, but rather a harsh, inconvenient opportunity to see what life actually consists of—how incredibly trivial everything else seems when someone starts complaining about a broken nail or a fender bender in a parking lot... but I won't waste any more breath on all the things that suddenly feel so profoundly mundane!
I get hit by those waves of emotion too, and they hit hard, but I suppose that's just how it goes... if they weren't constant, I wonder what I would even be feeling? I've been living this way for a while now, oscillating between an illusion of total happiness and flashes of brutal, raw reality.🙄
And if I may add one more thing... there really is no such thing as being immediately written off or instantly labeled a "winner," because no matter how hard the doctors try—or don't try—to predict an outcome, every patient is an individual, and you just can't put a price or a percentage on how things will end.
Exactly. I just don't understand why people feel the need to hide that a family member is battling cancer. Everyone treats it like some dark, dirty secret they have to bury.😕
So, we went to pick up the results today and then headed straight to the oncologist...
I noticed that after she read the PET scan, the doctor took quite a moment to figure out how to break the news to us and explain the available options. My throat tightened, and I caught my mother's eye for a split second, and she saw exactly what I was seeing.
There are metastases in the abdominal lymph nodes, and some have settled on the head of the pancreas. It looks like she'll have to undergo the most aggressive chemotherapy possible. But that brings us to the real issue: Mom is still losing weight and is just so physically weak.
I've always trusted my gut, and right now, my intuition is telling me that a full recovery isn't going to happen.
The doctor told me to come back alone next week so we can sit down and talk through all the paths forward, including the possibility of skipping chemo and radiation altogether.😢
#1329 ·
@ILDZIS
I’m hoping the title makes sense to everyone... look, you don't have to agree with everything said here. If you feel differently, just say so. And honestly, if someone's posts are actually getting under your skin and raising your blood pressure, just hit that "ignore" button—it's a lifesaver because once you toggle that on for a user, their stuff just vanishes from your feed entirely.
So, bottom line: any more of those mindless, insulting comments where you're just being a jerk... and you're going to get a permanent ban from the board.
This thread deserves better than that kind of toxicity... and if this behavior keeps up, I won't hesitate to pull the plug on anyone acting out, regardless of what we're talking about.
I’m hoping the title makes sense to everyone... look, you don't have to agree with everything said here. If you feel differently, just say so. And honestly, if someone's posts are actually getting under your skin and raising your blood pressure, just hit that "ignore" button—it's a lifesaver because once you toggle that on for a user, their stuff just vanishes from your feed entirely.
So, bottom line: any more of those mindless, insulting comments where you're just being a jerk... and you're going to get a permanent ban from the board.
This thread deserves better than that kind of toxicity... and if this behavior keeps up, I won't hesitate to pull the plug on anyone acting out, regardless of what we're talking about.
#1330 ·
Scott Allen10 said:@ILDZIS
I trust the thread title is sufficiently transparent...
..Do be more precise. If I were being truly direct, I would want to know exactly whom Your Honor intends to disparage.
People here are simply voicing their pain, their perspectives, and their expectations. They want to hear whether they are actually heading in the right direction. They want to know if the information they’ve received holds water, to learn from the lived experiences of those who have made it through, and to understand the emerging possibilities within modern medicine. These days, medical professionals often hit a wall when treating tumors; the issue lies in the sheer adaptability of these cells, which allows them to evade treatment and then continue proliferating without consequence. There is a profound difference between staring death in the face yourself and merely observing someone else who is doing so.
#1331 ·
Keith Thompson said:..get to the point. I want to know specifically who Your Highness is trying to drag through the mud.
People come here to share their pain, their perspectives, and what they hope for. They want to know if they're heading in the right direction. They want to vet the information they receive—to see if it holds water—by looking at real experiences and following the tracks of those who actually made it through. They want to explore the cutting edge of medical science. Nowadays, medicine often hits a wall when treating tumors because its sheer flexibility allows the disease to slip through the cracks and multiply without a care in the world. There’s a massive difference between staring death in the face yourself and just watching someone else stare death in the face.
Elon, unfortunately, that’s not what this is about. The person I was responding to was insulting me—at least according to other users here—simply because I voiced my opinion in a perfectly civil manner (and you even agreed with my take). Apparently, my approach was "ugly" and "disgusting." Those posts were wiped clean; I couldn't even read them. And let's be clear: we aren't dealing with a well-meaning person here, but a shill for some leftist charlatan firm peddling sob stories just to bait people. It’s glaringly obvious when you look at their other posts across different threads; it's always the same recycled story and the same shady organization.
The moderators have been around long enough to sniff out these types from a mile away.
#1332 ·
..True enough, I’ve noticed that on many online boards, people tend to resort to low blows, which is exactly what kept me at arm's length for quite some time.
Joining Reddit was actually what helped me fill in the gaps of my family tree, which was essentially my primary motivation for signing up. I owe a debt of gratitude to everyone who lent me a hand along the way.
At the moment, I’ve traced my lineage back to the year 1670. While that isn't strictly relevant to this specific sub-thread, I mention it to clarify that I am not particularly well-versed in all the internal politics here; I get the impression that many of you are close, while others clearly harbor certain... grievances with one another. My goal is also to offer some perspective and share my experience—because even though my symptoms are currently under control, I am still a chronic sufferer who could face another flare-up at any moment. I am simply relieved to have found a treatment plan that works, leaving me feeling healthy and stable.
Since I am, shall we say, a newcomer to the Reddit platform, what is the most efficient way to navigate to this particular forum? It takes me far too long to locate it, and I am certain there must be a more streamlined option. In my wandering through various corners of the internet, I’ve stumbled upon several other communities I would love to revisit, yet I can no longer find them. If someone were kind enough to point me in the right direction... I would certainly appreciate it.
Joining Reddit was actually what helped me fill in the gaps of my family tree, which was essentially my primary motivation for signing up. I owe a debt of gratitude to everyone who lent me a hand along the way.
At the moment, I’ve traced my lineage back to the year 1670. While that isn't strictly relevant to this specific sub-thread, I mention it to clarify that I am not particularly well-versed in all the internal politics here; I get the impression that many of you are close, while others clearly harbor certain... grievances with one another. My goal is also to offer some perspective and share my experience—because even though my symptoms are currently under control, I am still a chronic sufferer who could face another flare-up at any moment. I am simply relieved to have found a treatment plan that works, leaving me feeling healthy and stable.
Since I am, shall we say, a newcomer to the Reddit platform, what is the most efficient way to navigate to this particular forum? It takes me far too long to locate it, and I am certain there must be a more streamlined option. In my wandering through various corners of the internet, I’ve stumbled upon several other communities I would love to revisit, yet I can no longer find them. If someone were kind enough to point me in the right direction... I would certainly appreciate it.
#1333 ·
Keith Thompson said:...Yeah, I've noticed how people tend to get low blows thrown around on a lot of these message boards, which used to be enough to make me stay away.
Joining Reddit actually helped me track down my family tree, which was pretty much my main reason for getting online in the first place. I want to say thanks to everyone who lent a hand.
Right now, I’ve traced my lineage back to the year 1670. That’s obviously off-topic for this specific thread, but I mention it to make it clear that I’m not here to play any of those petty internal politics. It feels like half of you know each other, some people are tight and others can't stand one another. My goal here is simply to help out and share what I've learned. Even though my lab markers are currently sitting at zero, I'm still dealing with a chronic condition where everything could just explode again at any moment. I’m just glad I finally found a treatment plan that actually works for me and makes me feel healthy.
Since I'm relatively new to the Reddit platform, what's the easiest way to navigate over to this specific forum? It takes me forever to find what I'm looking for, so there's got to be a simpler way. I’ve been bouncing around different subreddits and participated in a few I thought were interesting, but now I can't seem to find them again. If someone could be a decent human being and point me in the right direction, I'd appreciate it...
Look, I don't quite follow—what exactly are you struggling with, and what kind of help are you actually asking for? 😕
You are currently on the health subforum of Reddit.🤷
#1334 ·
I haven't been on Reddit for a while. To catch you all up, I’m battling a severe brain tumor. I actually had to go abroad for surgery because the medical facilities here in the States just aren't equipped to handle a diagnosis like mine. After last year's MRI showed a recurrence—since they could only partially remove the tumor back then—I filed a request with Medicare to cover my continued treatment overseas. It took over three and a half months to get a response. Isn't it funny? I recently heard our Secretary of Health claim these requests are supposed to be settled in fifteen days at most.😠While I was waiting on the decision from the administration, things got rough. I had complications that required hospital stays because the tumor is starting to hit my vital functions. It makes daily life a struggle, and honestly, it's slowly changing who I am mentally. During the paperwork process, I was called to New York several times for specialist consultations. One time, I barely managed the trip from 177 miles, only to have a doctor tell me in the hallway that there was a clerical error. Apparently, one wrong word on a form meant I shouldn't have even been sent there.😕After that exhausting day, I waited another month before finally getting the good news: my treatment abroad was approved. Now, on February 23rd, I’m finally heading in to finalize the details and prep for surgery.🙂Despite this grueling journey and how much it's drained me emotionally, I'm just glad I can still think clearly. I really hope I'll have the same strength, faith, and luck when I move into the next phase of this fight. I'm going to need it. Best, 👍
#1335 ·
Maria Lee54 said:.I’m just hoping that when I move into this next phase of the fight, I'll find myself with that same reservoir of strength, faith, and luck. I really, truly could use it right now. Best wishes. 👍
🙂
#1336 ·
Angela Wright The user states:
I apologize, but I am struggling to grasp exactly what you are finding difficult here and what specific kind of assistance you require from me.😕
I am currently browsing the health subforum on Reddit.🤷
...that is exactly what I intend to do. However, there are times when a thread like "Supporting Families Facing Malignant and Other Serious Illnesses" isn't sitting right there on the front page, forcing me to hunt through the subreddits. I have to tinker with the search function until I finally get the hang of it. It isn’t exactly a catastrophe; once you figure out how these things work, it becomes much more manageable. I did learn to save memorial threads as favorites, which has created a bit of a cluttered mess for me now, given just how many of them there are. Elon Musk thanks.🙂
#1337 ·
Keith Thompson said:..that's exactly what I'll do, but sometimes the thread "Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses" isn't sitting right there on the front page. I end up digging through pages, trying to master the search function until I get the hang of it. It’s not the end of the world; once you figure out how things work, it gets easier. I started marking memorial threads as favorites, which is actually causing me a bit of a headache now—so much thanks for that.🙂
That's weird; I've never run into that issue myself.😕 This thread is a hot topic, so it should always be pinned near the top of the list.
#1338 ·
Maria Lee54;25157040 .I hope that as I move into the next phase of this fight said:
..I had a rough night,
I am rooting for you and wish you an abundance of strength and faith in your success as well. My teachers always told me to accept my situation as a part of who I am, rather than treating it like some foreign entity living inside me—something external that I should ignore. They taught me to acknowledge it is there, to face it, and to accept it as a reality. You have to learn to think "normally" (which, quite frankly, was the hardest part for me). I try to focus on building a healthy new lifestyle, visualizing the future version of myself I want to become, and refusing to waste precious energy on battles that only yield fear and stress. But when you are physically tense and gripped by cramps, it becomes nearly impossible to think about anything at all. I cannot say for certain if this mindset helped me, or if it was merely one small gear turning in a much larger machine.👍
#1340 ·
Angela Wright said:http://www.newyorktimes.com/News/SanFrancisco...priority.aspx
It’s just devastating, really.🙂
I suppose we should once again offer our respect to the doctors who aren't afraid to speak out about the struggles cancer patients face, and to the journalists who actually bother to cover these issues properly.
In other words, Barbara Walters 👍
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