Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Jesse Sanchez40 said:I am not quite sure where to turn for this... perhaps someone here might be able to provide some insight. Once a PET/CT scan is completed, how long does it typically take to receive the results? Is it usually within a day, or does it take longer... 🙏

We waited for about a week...

Thanks 👍

My husband’s mother has been diagnosed with lizard cancer that has already metastasized to her liver. She finally came home from the hospital last Friday, but here is the kicker: the doctors didn't actually sit her down and tell her the diagnosis face-to-face. She was handed a discharge summary that spells out everything in detail, but she hasn't bothered to read it. When she asked us what the paperwork said, we basically just scrambled to make sense of it on the fly. Honestly, I am at a complete loss regarding whether we should just be upfront with her or keep her in the dark. She realistically only has a few months left. To make matters more complicated, her own sister passed away under the exact same circumstances about six years ago, yet somehow, she doesn't seem to make any connection between that tragedy and her current situation. It is baffling. What on earth should we do?

Maria Howard4 said:My husband's mother was diagnosed with lizard cancer that has already spread to her liver. She got home from the hospital last Friday. The doctors there didn't actually tell her what was going on. She was given a discharge summary that spells everything out, but she hasn't read it. She keeps asking us what it says, and we've just been trying to wing it. Honestly, I have no idea if we should tell her the truth or not. She only has a few months left. Her sister passed away six years ago the exact same way, so I don't get how she isn't making the connection. What do we do?

Don't tell her. At her age, knowing the specific diagnosis doesn't really change anything for her. Just let her live out the time she has left in peace. Focus all your energy on providing palliative care to the best of your ability and make sure she can spend her final days surrounded by family at home, assuming that's an option. When you're dealing with terminal illness in the elderly, regardless of the specific cancer, the goal shifts entirely to quality of life. It’s about managing pain, making sure she's fed, hydrated, comfortable, and clean. That's what matters.

I can't thank you all enough for the help.
For the moment, Grandma’s appetite is fantastic and she’s feeling quite herself. She even managed a little stroll through the garden today! It truly warms my heart to see how happy she is just to be back home and surrounded by her great-grandchildren.
As a bit of background, I actually completed my nursing training in Germany and spent years working in assisted living facilities, so please rest assured—we are going to do absolutely everything in our power to make sure she is comfortable and receives top-tier care.

Maria Howard4 said:My husband's grandmother was diagnosed with lizard cancer that has already spread to her liver. She came home from the hospital last Friday. The doctors at the facility didn't actually tell her the diagnosis directly. She got discharge papers that have everything written out, but she hasn't read them. She kept asking us what it said, and we just kind of scrambled to give her an answer. I honestly don't know what to do—whether we should tell her the truth or not. She only has a few months left. Her sister passed away six years ago in the exact same way, and I just don't understand how she isn't making the connection. What should we do?

My cousins were in this exact same situation just a few months ago. They didn't tell their grandmother, and I think that was the right call. It made zero sense to them why she wasn't picking up on the signs either, but we figured it's better this way because there’s no point in upsetting her when nothing can be done anyway. If your grandmother watched her sister die like this, it’s going to be absolutely horrific because she’ll know exactly what’s coming for her. I watched my own father suffer through it, and I would have had a hard enough time dealing with someone telling me I had the same disease while that nightmare is constantly playing in my head.

Good luck! :*

New Season of Counseling Services at the Unspecified Association

article published: 10/04/2010

Losing a child, a partner, or a close family member is easily one of the most crushing stressors a person can face. In those dark moments, finding the right psychological support often feels impossible. After our summer break, the counseling programs at the Unspecified Association are resuming services for two specific support groups:

* For those who have lost a family member to cancer — first session is 10/04/2010 from 7:15 PM to 9:00 PM

* For parents grieving the loss of a child — first session is 10/14/2010 from 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM

The parent bereavement group is led by Dr. unspecfied, while the group for those mourning other family members is facilitated by psychiatrist and psychotherapist unspecfied.

If you fall into either of these categories, or if you know someone who does, please reach out to the Unspecified Association at our unspecified office or call us at 555-0122 or 555-0147. You can also contact us via unspecified@unspecified.org or find more information at www.unspecified.org

When you're navigating the weight of losing a loved one, no amount of help is too much. Please, lean on us.

Quick question—I’m really hoping someone can help me figure this out
My mom needs to get her mammogram, an ultrasound, and an abdominal ultrasound done... she's currently undergoing treatment at a major cancer center here in the States (for colon cancer) and they handle most of her tests there anyway.
Basically, they recommended she gets a mammogram every single year, but when she tried to schedule it, they told her it was way too early... then, once she actually showed up, they turned her away saying they aren't taking appointments until next year! But she really needs this follow-up by November...
What I’m trying to find out is where else in the D.C. area offers both mammograms and ultrasounds covered by our insurance?
We already tried calling:
The Mayo Clinic, some diagnostic centers, and the local university hospital—but we got rejected from those
We haven't had any luck reaching Mount Sinai, Johns Hopkins, or even the local community clinics... just getting secretaries on the phone over and over again.
The doctors told us to just show up with her referral and they'd see if they could squeeze her in, but that feels so uncertain...😕

My dad passed away on September 27th.
I’m going to miss him every single day for as long as I’m around. Ever since then, there’s just been this massive, empty hole in my chest.

Please accept my deepest condolences.😢

My father passed away five months ago... Every single day the longing grows stronger. The pain doesn't actually lessen—it just changes shape.

slyowl10 said:My dad passed away on September 27th.
I'm going to miss him every single day for the rest of my life. Since then, there’s just been this massive, hollow ache in my chest.

I am so sorry, dear.😢 I truly hope that despite all the grief and that emptiness you're feeling, you can find some sense of peace.

Sandra Martin36, please accept my deepest condolences.
My own father passed away about five months ago, and I suppose his birthday was just a few days ago.

Maria Fox said:The question—I’m hoping someone can help me sort this out
My mother needs a mammogram, an ultrasound, and an abdominal ultrasound. She's currently undergoing treatment at a major cancer center (for colon cancer) and does most of her testing there.
She's supposed to have a mammogram every year, but when she tried to schedule it, they told her it was too early. Now that she's actually showed up, they're telling her there are no openings until next year, even though her follow-up should be in November.
What I really need to know is where else in Washington, D.C. can we get a mammogram and ultrasound covered by Medicare?
We already called:
Nemetov, Diagnostic Institute 2000, and the Johns Hopkins equivalent—all denied.
We couldn't get through to Mayo Clinic, Mount Sinai, or St. Jude's (just a secretary picks up).
When we call around, they just tell us to show up with a referral and they'll "see if there's space."😕

If I were in your shoes, I'd call the Department of Health and Human Services and lodge a complaint about their useless hotline. They love to talk big about how people shouldn't have to wait for screenings and how healthcare reform isn't affecting accessibility...

It also wouldn't hurt to register through their centralized scheduling system.

Does anyone happen to have any insight regarding dialysis services over at Austin? It used to be run through the Hippocrates network, but word is the owner sold off the whole operation—machines, gear, staff, the works 🙄—and rebranded it as Austin. I have two friends who used to go to Hippocrates, and while I can't exactly brag about their results—they've both since received transplants—neither of them knows a thing about Austin. I'm wondering if they maintain that same level of patient care, how the actual quality of the dialysis holds up, and how they handle any unexpected complications
.
Thanks so much.

Hi everyone, I’m posting here for the first time. My mom has developed this lump on her foot—right between the ankle and the foot—that’s incredibly hard. The skin over the mass looks really tight and, honestly, pretty unpleasant, with this reddish-purple tint. Her doctor referred her to a surgeon, and they’re actually going to remove it today. I was wondering if anyone knows what the typical next steps look like after a procedure like this? Some well-meaning people we spoke to suggested it might be metastases 😕😕... as if avoiding the topic makes it any less real, but we aren't stalling anymore. We’ve decided to move forward with the removal, so... I guess we'll just have to see how it goes 😢.... On top of that, she noticed this spot on her chest, almost like a mole, but it’s orange and has these irregular edges. Her doctor told her straight away that it looks like skin cancer and needs to be removed as well, so she's facing two procedures today. What’s really bothering me is how a doctor can be so certain and deliver such a heavy diagnosis right then and there. It completely rattled my mom. And more than anything, it's just hard seeing her so anxious; I get this nagging feeling that she's already accepted the worst. About ten years ago, she had her thyroid removed because it was full of benign nodules, and she’s always been such a fighter, but now... I don't know, it feels like she's flagging. I’m just not sure how to help her or what I should even be doing.

says:
Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. My mom developed this bump on her foot—right between the ankle and the foot—and it’s incredibly hard. The skin around it looks tight and honestly pretty nasty, sort of a reddish-purple color. Her doctor referred her to a surgeon, and they’re actually removing it today. Does anyone know what the next steps usually look like? Some well-meaning people told us these things are often metastases 😕😕...as if we shouldn't touch it because then everything would get complicated, but we're past that now. We've decided to take action and get it removed, so... we're leaving it in God's hands... 😢 ...she also has this spot on her chest, almost like a mole, but it's orange and has irregular edges. The doctor told her right away that it's skin cancer and needs to be removed too, so she's facing two procedures today. What's really eating at me is how a doctor can just know immediately and deliver such a diagnosis? My mom is completely terrified... and it's breaking my heart to see her so worried; I feel like she's already given up hope. About ten years ago, she had her thyroid removed because it was full of benign nodules, and she's always been a fighter, but now it feels like she's losing steam... I don't know... how can I help her? What should I do?

Any doctor making claims like that isn't being professional, and frankly, it sounds like they aren't a specialist. Without a pathology report analyzing the tissue after surgery, it is impossible to give a definitive diagnosis or claim whether something is malignant or benign.
It could be anything, even a benign lipoma, but you won't know until after the procedure.
Tell your mom not to worry prematurely; stressing out like this won't change the outcome. Once you have the lab results, then you deal with the reality of the situation, whether it's malignant or benign. You can't solve a problem before you even have the facts.
And let her know that even if it is cancer, it isn't a death sentence. Cancer is a fight that people win more and more often these days.

Angela Wright said:A doctor making claims like that just isn't being serious, and honestly, I doubt they're even a specialist. Without a pathology report analyzing the tissue after surgery, it’s impossible to give an accurate diagnosis or claim whether something is malignant or benign.
It could be anything, even a benign lipoma, but you won't know for sure until after the procedure.
I'd suggest the mother doesn't worry too much ahead of time; stressing out like this isn't going to help at all. Once the results come back, then you can deal with the reality of the situation, whether it's malignant or benign. You can't solve problems by guessing or jumping to conclusions.
And she should know that regardless of what it turns out to be, cancer isn't a death sentence. It's a fight, and more people are winning that fight today than ever before.

Thanks for the response.... my mom has been through it all before, she's always been a fighter. I remember how well she handled her thyroid surgery; the doctor told us later that her energy and positive mindset did 90% of the work during her recovery.... and don't even get me started on how the hospital in Miami sent us to a psychiatrist instead of actually running the tests to figure out how many nodules there were and what kind they were😲... eventually, once we managed to get her to the Mayo Clinic, they operated on her the very next day.... a few months later, we ran into that doctor in town, and when she asked my mom how she was doing, Mom couldn't take it and snapped back that she had just returned from a mental asylum.... I suppose there are unprofessional people in every field... but encountering someone like that in medicine, where lives are literally on the line, is something else.... you just have to keep a cool head.... she has two appointments scheduled with surgery in two weeks... I just pray to God that everything goes well, and if we have to fight, we're ready.👍

So, they finally let my mom come home. The lump was removed, though the surgeon mentioned he had to take out some surrounding tissue as well. He also cleared away a spot on her breast while he was at it... He said we should have the pathology results back in about 7 to 8 days. Now, I suppose all that's left is the waiting.

Maria Fox said:I have a question—I’m hoping someone can help me coordinate this.
My mother needs a mammogram, an ultrasound, and an abdominal ultrasound. She is currently undergoing treatment at the Mayo Clinic (for colon cancer) and they handle most of her testing there.
Among other things, she was advised to get a mammogram every year, but when she tried to schedule it, they told her it was too early. Now that she’s actually shown up, they’re telling her there are no openings until next year, even though her follow-up should be in November.
What I really need to know is where in Washington, D.C. can we get both a mammogram and an ultrasound covered by Medicare?
We have already called:
Nemet, Diagnostic Institute 2000, and Johns Hopkins Hospital—all rejected us.
We haven't been able to reach Siget, Laginja, Albahari, or St. Jude's (we just get the secretary).
The people answering the phones told us to just show up with a referral and they would "see if there's space."😕

Try checking in Beverly Hills or maybe at St. Jude's; you might have better luck, though the bureaucracy is likely identical everywhere. They mentioned that a mammogram can sometimes be done without a referral at Johns Hopkins Hospital located at 16 Park Avenue as part of their preventive screenings; try calling them at 4696-309 to get the specifics.
If you happen to have a connection at the MD Anderson Cancer Center, you could probably get all these tests done as soon as tomorrow—I'm speaking from personal experience here. There is no point in complaining to anyone, least of all the Department of Health and Human Services, because they are the ones who architected this corrupt system. Complaining to them is a pure waste of time and sanity, and I know that firsthand. Unfortunately, despite all the empty rhetoric regarding patient rights, the situation seems to deteriorate further every single day.

Aaron Hill44 said:Don't bother looking for someone to vent to, especially not at the Department of Health and Human Services. They’re the ones who built this entire corrupt mess from the ground up, so complaining to them is just a massive waste of your breath and your sanity—believe me, I know firsthand. It’s incredibly frustrating because despite all the endless, empty rhetoric about "patient rights," the situation is actually getting worse by the day.

Look, honey, what you're saying is only half the story.
The real issue here is the people who stay silent and only complain behind a screen. They expect non-profits—which are usually just a tiny handful of dedicated enthusiasts and fighters—to step up and fight their battles for them. And the kicker? When activists actually try to identify who is facing these issues, they want to remain anonymous. It’s easy to demand change when you aren't willing to put your own name on the line.
Because patients just sit there being passive, all this talk about "rights" is nothing more than empty noise. Things are getting worse by the day. People get too comfortable in the warmth of their own homes, cradled by the gray monotony of their daily struggles and a false sense of security. They let everyone else fight their battles and solve their problems for them, but that’s not how the world works—you don't win wars if you aren't actually on the battlefield. In this life, nothing is handed to you on a silver platter, not even basic human rights. Those rights only exist because people show up every single day to fight for them.
And that’s exactly why I’m brave enough to conclude that... We have exactly the kind of healthcare system, the kind of Secretary, and the kind of government we deserve—and frankly, it’s a direct result of the attitudes we've allowed to take root.