I mean, honestly, it’s just one of those things where you find yourself staring at the wall, wondering why everything feels so incredibly repetitive lately, almost like we're all just stuck in this endless loop of the same old patterns. It's funny how certain moods just settle in without any warning, much like a slow fog rolling over the Bay Area, leaving you feeling a bit lost in the middle of absolutely nothing at all. Nancy Hernandez43 says:
Melissa Kim45, how’s your mom doing lately? I was just wondering what things are looking like on your end of the country.
Well, alright then. That’s actually kind of funny. 😁 How’s your dad holding up after the surgery? I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him. 🙂
The situation here could basically be summed up as "everything is falling apart and we’re just trying to keep our heads above water." My mom is having a hell of a time with her weight; she hasn't been able to get it up at all, and she’s still sitting at 35.5 kg—though that’s really just because she was given a diuretic, so most of what she’s weighing right now is just fluid she was holding onto. She can’t seem to push past 37 kg no matter what we do. She really needs to go in for a checkup, but she absolutely refuses because she’s terrified, and honestly, I don't blame her. Having some decent test results, or even just something that isn't catastrophic, would give her the boost she needs, but getting her through the door to see a doctor feels like an impossible task. We really don't want to force her into anything, but at the same time, it's hard not to feel like we have to. She's just so incredibly weak, and it's not even like she isn't eating.
Honestly, she’s just out there performing this little act, begging people to come over and drop off more Leksaurin. You know, one person tells me about it, and then someone actually shows up with the meds. I have to wonder what kind of person looks at someone in my mother's state—both physically and mentally—and thinks, "Yeah, I can definitely bring her 3mg Leksaurin tablets." It’s wild. I actually found two crushed tablets wedged into the armchair, an empty wrapper tucked inside her pillowcase, and another half-used pill hiding under the rug. Seriously.😲
I gave that woman a call earlier, and honestly, I have a feeling she’s not going to show up again.😁
It was a real struggle getting that information out of her, honestly. In moments like those, she becomes incredibly sharp and cunning—just impossibly persuasive and relentless in a way that catches you off guard.
I find myself asking her if what I’m giving her isn't quite enough, though deep down, I know that isn't the issue. In the mornings, I'll check in to see how she slept, and she says fine, but then she starts acting too precious around everyone else, claiming she can't sleep and that nobody is willing to step up and help her. Honestly, it just feels like a transparent way of signaling that she knows exactly what she's doing and that she shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Besides, she clearly enjoys the little rebellion, and I've come to realize that much.
She starts coughing, just hacking away, and then she grabs this water pitcher and tries to drink while she’s still choking on it... I’m just sitting there watching water spray everywhere, her face turning bright red, drooling, all while she’s clutching a cigarette in her other hand like nothing is happening, and honestly, I’m just stunned. You can’t even say a word to her. She just snaps at me, "Why are you always picking on me?" So I pick up my phone to call someone, thinking, "She's going to take everything from me!" She’s pacing around the apartment, tripping over things, practically falling down. If I dared to mention that I’d rather be watching CSI right now, she’d just turn it back on me and say, "Well, now I'm the Pyramids!" 🙂 I'm not even looking, honestly—it doesn't matter, I’ll just leave her be—but she isn't exactly focusing on the Pyramids or anything useful; she’s just dragging herself around the apartment. It’s a miracle she hasn't completely lost it by now. Do you want to get busy? Where did I put my toothpick? What are you even up to? Is life on the internet really that fascinating? And when are you actually going to trim my nails? Then someone calls, and of course, I have to hear it: "Do you want a little bit of Melissa Kim45?" 😠
It feels like it’s happening every ten minutes now.
She really chewed me out yesterday, so I ended up giving her some Haldol last night, even though she isn't officially on it anymore, since her doctor told me it's fine to use if she gets particularly restless.
I’m just completely wiped out, honestly. I feel like I've hit a wall where everything and everyone is just grating on my nerves, and I have absolutely zero patience left for anyone today.🙄 My brother is feeling exactly the same way, and he actually told me straight up that he has no idea how he’s going to keep his head above water. It feels like there’s absolutely nobody we can lean on, because honestly, no one is stepping up to help us out in any meaningful way; it’s just us against the world in this mess. On top of everything else, he’s constantly being nagged about bringing the grandson over to see her, but then the second the little guy even breathes near something, it’s a total meltdown—don't touch this, don't move that, you're going to kill my goldfish, you're going to soak the table, you're going to ruin the couch, it’s going to tear, it’s going to wrinkle... it never ends.
So, if that's how it's going to be, then what on earth are we supposed to do about it? I mean, seriously, we're talking about a two-and-a-half-year-old who honestly acts like they were programmed in a lab to be the Terminator, and if that’s the case, then what exactly is the plan here? It’s just one of those things where you look at the situation and realize there's absolutely nothing left to say. Honestly, it's enough to make you lose your mind.😍 😁
I’ve got this nagging feeling that I should probably just sit down and re-read this entire thread from the very beginning, maybe then I’ll stumble upon some random idea for something else to try or give her, because honestly, my brain is just completely tapped out at this point. It feels like modern medicine has already done everything it possibly can, and I seriously doubt there are any other therapies left on the table.
