Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Nancy Hernandez43 said:Dear Muscle and everyone else,
It’s honestly wonderful to find some support when you're feeling angry, shocked, or just totally lost! Still, the most understanding people are always those true fighters who stay strong and full of optimism!

Maybe I didn't express myself right, mostly because I was just terrified. My parents had their checkups yesterday. I knew immediately something was wrong because usually, we at least get a quick text update, but yesterday they even turned off the phones. This morning, it was just waking up to juice. There might be a swollen lymph node in her left leg, but the oncologist couldn't feel it. Because of that, they need to perform surgery. However, looking at the PET scan images and the reports (I still don't know the actual values or if the markers are low—they're keeping me in the dark again), he wasn't satisfied. He thinks that if there's any malignant growth anywhere, especially in the abdomen where the previous tumor was centered, the PET scan might have missed it because even at its best, it won't catch anything smaller than 0.4mm (did I get that right? I don't know... but that call woke me right up). Anyway, an emergency surgery is scheduled to open up the abdominal cavity again.

In a way, I'm glad they're being so proactive and caring about the patient so nothing gets missed and treatment keeps moving forward. But on the other hand, until the surgery is over, I'm stuck in the same loop: wondering whether to believe or not, feeling just as helpless as the rest of the family. She sounds calm over the phone, but I know she isn't, because they're filling her head with all the things that could go wrong during surgery, or the oncologist saying stuff like, "I went through this too, and I ended up with sepsis..." 😢

From what I understand, a PET scan just shows activity—basically areas of intense uptake—rather than giving a definitive diagnosis, especially when a CT hasn't shown anything yet. It basically just points out where to focus next. That surgical procedure will give you the real answers and definitely needs to happen... but, dear God, without scaring the patient like that! I can't believe an oncologist would say something so reckless. If this is just an isolated recurrence, this surgery could actually mean a cure for your mom!
Tell your mom to clear those negative thoughts out of her head. Of course, there are always pros and cons, but you've gotta face things bravely and optimistically... that applies to everything in life, especially when life itself is on the line.
I had three abdominal surgeries myself, all with the same vertical incision from my sternum down, and everything went fine. I was always just counting down the days until they could get "that thing" out of me. After that, if chemo or whatever was needed, then so be it—just get it out. After one of those surgeries, when they removed some suspicious cysts, the pathology report came back completely clean—zero recurrence!

I know how hard this is for you all, but it's hardest for her. You need to find a way to be fully present and break through that fake calmness she's putting on so she can really open up to you... it'll be easier for both of you once she shares her fears. Let her talk, maybe gently talk her out of the scary stuff, and then cheer her up with real positive stories. This period of uncertainty will pass, and once the work begins, everything will settle into place. Only the person who is sick truly knows what it feels like to be "alone with their fears," which makes everything seem so much darker... that's where you come in. If you can ease even just one fear, you've done so much already...
Just keep pushing forward bravely...

Hello. I was wondering if I could ask for some help from any specialists here. My father had a stroke last night (he's 58) located in his cerebellum, right near the balance center. This morning, he looked like a breathing corpse and could barely mutter a word. About half an hour ago, I was back at the hospital, and he seemed to have regained some color in his face; his hands and feet aren't cold anymore, either. He can communicate normally and coherently now, though he lacks strength because he was vomiting so much last night. He’s been on an IV drip. He can move all his limbs and he can feel touch and warmth everywhere. Generally, I have the impression that he is coming back, even if he still can't eat because of the nausea. He is allergic to iodine-based preparations and Gingicaine, so he is waiting for an MRI on Monday.
Does anyone here happen to know what kind of outcomes might be possible? How long might recovery take, and how much of himself might he be able to get back?

Thanks so much

gentlemoose62 said:As far as I understand, a PET scan merely shows a certain level of activity—basically where there is an intensified accumulation—rather than providing a definitive diagnosis, especially when a CT hasn't picked up anything yet; essentially, the PET just points out where one needs to focus next. That surgical procedure will provide the actual answers, and it really should be done... but, dear God, without terrifying the patient in such a situation, I simply cannot believe an oncologist would make such an ill-considered statement, because surgery at this stage, if we are looking at an isolated recurrence, could actually mean a cure for your mother!
Tell your mom to clear those dark thoughts from her mind; naturally, there are always pros and cons, but one must always move forward bravely and optimistically toward whatever offers the greatest advantage... as one does in life generally, let alone when life itself is on the line.
I personally underwent three abdominal surgeries, all through the same vertical incision from my chest down, and everything went fine; I was always just waiting for them to finally get "that thing" out of me, and afterwards, if chemo or anything else is required, then so be it, as long as it’s gone. After one of those operations, when they removed some suspicious cysts, the pathology report ultimately came back clean—negative, no recurrence whatsoever!

I know things are difficult for you right now, but she is having the hardest time of all, and you need to find a way to be fully present for her, to pierce through that fictional calmness she’s maintaining so she can open up... it will be easier for both her and you once she shares her fears, allows you to perhaps reason with her about certain things, and then you can cheer her on with genuine, positive stories. This period of uncertainty will pass, and once the actual work begins, everything will fall into place. Only the person who is ill truly knows what it feels like to be "lonely with their fears," making everything seem much darker than it actually is... that is where you come in, and if you manage to dispel even a single fear, you have accomplished so much.
Just keep moving forward bravely.

That was written with such honesty and realism! Thank you for that!

It will happen exactly as you described. After the initial shock of the first day, today is calm and we are talking normally. It feels foolish to even mention consequences, given that every surgery carries risks, because whatever happens, happens. Fear only pushes us away, and we are all aware of that! The only ill-considered remark was from the doctor at the Police Department; the people over at Avian are optimistic and don't dwell on consequences, they just charge ahead!

The PET/CT is clear, meaning they only found that mass in the left leg; the abdomen is clear, the lungs are clear. That mass is the least of her worries; she is more concerned that her cancer was operated on at its highest stage, and they are actually being extra cautious by opening it up to ensure nothing is missed. We are fully aware of all this, and once again, we are facing it all together.

Taking into account everything you have been through yourself, and seeing what others go through on this forum, I can say that even when I am at my most hypocritical or miserable, I remember how difficult it truly is for the person going through it, because they are alone with their terrors. However, I am certain my girl will continue to show that she is a Braveheart and won't give in to fear! She is young, spirited, and strong for all of us!

kisses

Charles Gray said:Hey everyone. I’m looking for some help or advice from anyone with actual expertise here. My father (58) suffered a stroke last night—it hit his cerebellum right near the balance center. This morning, honestly, he looked like a walking corpse; he could barely mutter a single word. But about half an hour ago, I was back at the hospital, and things seem to be shifting. He’s finally getting some color back in his face, and his hands and feet aren't ice-cold anymore. He’s communicating normally and making sense now, though he’s completely wiped out because he was vomiting constantly all night. He’s currently on an IV. He can move all his limbs and he’s fully aware of touch and warmth everywhere. To be honest, my gut feeling is that he’s turning a corner, even if he still can't eat because of the nausea. One complication: he’s allergic to iodine-based contrast and Gingicaine, so we're stuck waiting until Monday for the MRI.
Does anyone here have any idea what the potential outcomes might look like? I'm trying to figure out how long the recovery process typically takes and just how much of their former self they might actually be able to get back.

Thanks a million.

I'm a layman, but I know enough to be dangerous.🙂:
It’s definitely a massive win that he’s already feeling so much better after just one day. Whether he makes a full recovery or deals with some lingering neurological issues really comes down to which specific part of the brain took the hit. We just have to wait for the MRI results to get the full picture—that'll tell us exactly what we're looking at and if there's any risk of another stroke or something similar down the line. He'll likely be headed to some hot springs as part of his rehab, too. He should make the most of those sessions; physical therapy is absolutely vital for getting back on track.
Right now, the absolute priority is rest. He needs peace and quiet—no constant check-ins or endless questions about how he’s feeling. Overdoing the visits just stresses him out, and we can't risk making his condition worse by keeping him agitated. Keep things positive. Talk to him like a normal person instead of walking on eggshells; reassure him that the procedure went well and that recovery is well within reach. When it comes to food, stick to light, nourishing soups to help him rebuild his strength. If he’s struggling to eat solid meals, look into nutritional shakes like Ensure or Prosura. Those drinks are specifically designed for people with low appetites because they pack all the essential nutrients of a full meal into one serving. Definitely run it by his doctor first, though.
As long as everything stays under control and they actually listen to the doctors, everything will be fine.

Quick update. The doctor said the MRI is definitely happening this Monday. We're looking at a stroke in the cerebellum area, right near the balance center, which is why he can't walk. Honestly, even if he were allowed to, he wouldn't be able to because he's just so incredibly exhausted. I was wondering if anyone could tell me what kind of lasting effects damage to the balance center might have, and what exactly an MRI might reveal in this situation?

Thanks so much, Angela Wright, and thanks to everyone else who is willing to help.

Nancy Hernandez43 said:Super honest and real. Thanks for that!

It’s going to go exactly how you said it would. After the initial shock of day one, things have calmed down and we're just talking normally today. Honestly, bringing up potential side effects feels stupid because every surgery comes with them—whatever happens, happens. Worrying too much just gets in the way, and we all know that. One thing I will say is that the doctor from the Police Department was pretty reckless with her words; the folks over at Avian are way too optimistic. They don't really warn you about the fallout, they just charge ahead blindly.

The PET scan came back clean, except for that mass in the left leg. Abdomen is clear, lungs are clear. That mass isn't even what's worrying her most; it's more the fact that her cancer was operated on at such an advanced stage. Just to be safe, they have to open it back up to make sure there aren't any leaks. We're fully aware of all this, just riding the wave together.

Taking into account everything you went through, and seeing what others deal with on this forum, I can say that even when I'm being my most hypocritical or miserable self, I remember how hard it actually is for someone going through this. Being alone with your fears is the worst part. But, I'm certain my girl is still gonna show everyone she's a Braveheart and won't let fear take over. She's young, she's got a bright spirit, and she's strong for all of us!

kisses

Your mom is clearly a fighter who doesn't quit. There isn't a single person out there who doesn't feel fear in situations like this. You can't avoid it. But that's why family exists—to pull you through. You're an amazing daughter, and your mother is truly blessed to have you. Stay strong. Trust that everything will work out. I'm right there with you guys.

Lisa White54 said:Your mother is undoubtedly a fighter who refuses to back down. There isn't a single soul alive who doesn't feel fear in circumstances such as these; it is simply an unavoidable part of the human experience. However, that is precisely why family exists—to provide that necessary courage. You are a wonderful daughter, and your mother is truly blessed to have you by her side. Stay strong. Have faith that everything will eventually find its way to being alright. My thoughts are with you both...

Thank you for those lovely words! Of course... there is so much strength residing within all of us... sending a kiss and a hug your way.

Have any of you ever messed around with IP6 & inositol? Apparently, it’s supposed to be a real game-changer in situations like this. We actually sourced some from abroad once, and honestly, my grandma really seemed to perk up quite a bit after her breast cancer surgery. I know, I know—today there's an endless sea of supplements out there promising the moon, but this one just feels... I don't know, more legitimate? And it actually worked. Sending strength to all the fighters dealing with this nasty disease

Does anyone here actually know what this is? My father has colon cancer and he’s scheduled for surgery in just seven days—I am completely losing my mind over this. Has anyone ever used this, and if so, where can I even get it? We have tried absolutely everything at this point, but nothing seems to be working.
Thanks, and hello to the group. (my first post)

neondrifter9 said:Does anyone know what this is? My father has colon cancer and is scheduled for surgery in 7 days. I am completely losing my mind here. Has anyone actually used this, and where can I find it? We have tried everything so far, but nothing seems to work.
Thanks and greetings to the group. (my first post)

Check out www.ip6hrvatska.com

It’s all fine, I guess, but I have a question.
How do you help someone like me? I beat cancer, and now I'm just at home trying to get my leg back in shape, while my old man keeps dropping comments about how I should have just taken a bullet to the head and that things would be better if I wasn't here. And honestly, my hair hasn't even grown back yet.😂 I suppose that’s just the supposed humor of this ridiculous life. God, I don't even know why I bothered surviving. The illness itself? That's the least of my worries. It's where I'm stuck recovering that's killing me. So—help me out if you can. Should I just end it all???🤣🙏☕

Walter Roberts17 said:It’s all fine, but I have a question.
How can you help someone like me? I beat cancer and now I'm just at home trying to recover my leg, but my old man keeps telling me I should just take a bullet to the head because it'd be better if I weren't here. And my hair hasn't even grown back yet.😂 That's what you call the humor of this stupid life. Honestly, I don't even know why I survived. The illness was the least of my problems. What's killing me is where I'm recovering. So—help me out if you can. Should I just end it all???🤣🙏☕

Jesus 😲🤣, one of you two isn't exactly sane. If that really is your old man, my advice is to move out if you have any other option. If you don't, then just let it go in one ear and out the other; you have to look out for yourself. And try to be happy, because plenty of people don't manage to "beat cancer" even when they have every possible support system behind them. Find some solace and meaning in the fact that you actually made it. Keep your head up because you are recovering, and that is a massive win! 👍

Angela Wright said:Is there any word yet on whether it's malignant or benign? I mean, you can't be 100% certain without a PhD in hand, but they usually have a pretty good educated guess about what they're dealing with.

I am just so relieved to hear everything went smoothly😍, because honestly, you never know which brain centers might get nicked during these things or what kind of neurological fallout might pop up later. Some people end up facing total amnesia, or they lose the ability to talk, do math, walk, and all sorts of other basic stuff. That said, a lot of those side effects eventually clear up with therapy, and people slowly find their way back to themselves.

The initial analysis points toward it being a benign tumor.
Just a quick little correction on my part: she was operated on by Prof. Jelec and Dr. Hudi.
She made it back home this Friday and is feeling absolutely wonderful. The only real issues she's having right now are that her speech is a bit slower than usual and she can't bend over just yet. But that’s nothing permanent—just waiting for the swelling to go down.

wanderingtiger7 said:The initial analysis indicates it’s a benign tumor.
Just a quick correction: she was operated on by Prof. Jelec and Dr. Hudi.
She got back home this Friday and is feeling fantastic. The only issues she's dealing with right now are slightly slower speech and some trouble bending over. But that’s just temporary until the swelling goes down.

Man, that is wonderful news😍. I really hope everything checks out as expected.

Walter Roberts17 said:Look, everything is fine, but I’ve got a question.
How do I deal with this—I beat cancer, right? Now I'm just at home trying to get my leg back to normal, but then the old man keeps dropping comments about how I should just put a bullet in my head because it'd be better if I wasn't here? And my hair hasn't even grown back yet.😂 I guess that's just the "humor" of this stupid life. Honestly, I don't even know why I bothered surviving. The illness? That's the least of my worries. What's actually killing me is where I'm supposed to recover. So—help me out if you can. Should I just end it all???🤣🙏☕

Oh, give me a break!!! There is absolutely nothing more important in this entire world than you and your life!!! FIRST and most importantly—you stopped that bastard, and bravo for that! Everything else is just nonsense that I am certain you'll handle without breaking a sweat. I'm sure you have some extended family or friends who'll step up to help you find a temporary place to stay while you figure out your next move.
STAY STRONG, I'M WITH YOU 👍

wanderingtiger7!!!
Awesome news—just gotta stay brave and keep pushing forward. Recovery is going to take some time, I guess, but things are definitely looking up!!!

Walter Roberts17 said:Everything is fine, I guess, but I’ve got a question.
How do I help someone like me—someone who beat cancer and is now just at home trying to get my leg working again—when my old man keeps telling me I should just put a bullet in my head and that it’d be better if I wasn't around? And to top it off, my hair hasn't even grown back yet.😂 That’s what you call the humor of this stupid life. Man, I don't even know why I bothered surviving. The illness itself isn't even my biggest issue. It's where I'm stuck recovering. So—help me out if you can. Should I just kill myself???🤣🙏☕

I’m sure it’s incredibly tough. You went through all those scares and shocks, but you made it out.
I have no idea how your dad can say stuff like that. It's heavy. But look, you gotta realize it probably wasn't easy for him during your illness either. He was going through his own fears too, even if they don't measure up to yours. All of this leaves a mark on how people act, both you and him. I don't know if there's anyone else in the family who could step in and help with this kind of stuff.
The sickness is behind you. And you aren't going to kill yourself. Stay strong. Just tune out your dad's outbursts, and maybe try to be a little more patient with him, too. There are bad days and good days. It's a cycle. Yesterday sucked, but today might actually be better, you'll see. Hang in there. You survived, so enjoy being alive. Ignore everything else.

My apologies if this has already been asked on the forum, but I am looking for a phone number, mobile number, or any way to get in touch to purchase Kancist drops (Mark Rukavina from Sl. Broda). I have tried searching via Google and the forum search tool, but I can't find a number anywhere.

If anyone here has successfully tracked down these drops, I would be very grateful for any information you could share.

Thnx.

darkraven10 said:My apologies if this has already been covered on the forum, but I am looking for a phone number or any kind of contact information to purchase Kancist drops from Mark Rukavina in Sl. Broda. I’ve tried searching via Google and using the forum's search function, but I can't find a number anywhere.

If anyone has managed to get their hands on those drops, I would be extremely grateful for any information you could share.

Thanks.

0981740173 - that’s Mark Rukavina’s number from the Ship. I haven't called him myself; I've had the number for a few months now, but I keep hesitating. My husband isn't exactly thrilled about this kind of thing either, and I wouldn't want to go against his wishes. Do you know anything about him—could you give me some details? Also, what kind of illness are you looking for those drops for? I'm curious because, besides reading that article (I think it was in the Free Press), I've heard some personal stories too.

Well, unfortunately, we didn't beat it. My mother has been diagnosed with metastases, and naturally, we've been briefed on the trajectory of the illness ahead—it’s going to be a rough road. Since she lives alone, we're stuck weighing our options: Is it better to arrange for someone to come stay with her, or should we move her into a high-quality, compassionate facility where she can get proper care until the end, while allowing us to visit her every single day?
It’s a similar situation to what we went through with my father, but back then, we decided he should stay at home. The issue was that we just couldn't provide the level of medical care he actually needed, and I honestly have this nagging feeling that he suffered more than he should have, even though he was right there with us...😢
Does anyone know of, or can anyone recommend, a good care facility or nursing home in New York City? (To give you some context, the local hospital won't take her because they don't have space for patients in her condition, and neither does the MD Anderson Cancer Center)..thanks in advance..🙏