Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Jonathan Doyle55 said:Unfortunately, we didn't pull it off, and my mother has been diagnosed with metastases. We've been briefed on what comes next, and let's just say it’s not going to be pleasant. Since she lives alone, we're debating whether it's better to arrange for someone to move in with her or if we should place her in a high-quality (humane) facility where she can get proper care until the end, allowing us to visit her every single day.
We went through something similar with my father, but back then, the decision was made to keep him at home. The issue was that we couldn't provide the level of medical care he needed, so I honestly feel like he suffered more even though he was right there with us...😢
Does anyone know or have a recommendation for a good nursing home or facility in New York City? (Specifically, they won't take her at the local hospital because they don't have room for patients in this condition, and neither does the MD Anderson Cancer Center)..thanks in advance..🙏

I am so sorry you're going through this stage...
From my own experience, I can tell you that there probably isn't a facility out there that will fully meet your requirements for proper care. No matter which one you pick, they’re all going to present themselves in the best possible light during the initial tour. Maybe the smartest move is—if you can manage it—to actually talk to a current resident or one of their family members. That way, you find out what the conditions are really like from a first-hand perspective.
The staff will obviously promise you the moon and the stars, and it’s heartbreaking when you realize pretty quickly that you're dealing with charlatans and the person you entrusted to them is suffering because of their lack of professionalism, negligence, or something similar.
I can send you a private message about the facility where my mom is staying—one I wouldn't recommend to anyone, even though we ended up placing her there because we heard nothing but glowing reviews. Unfortunately, she's in such a state now that moving her isn't even an option.

Ideally, it's probably best for a mother to be at home with her family, but I totally get that it’s not always feasible. Most of us have to work, leave the house, and our homes aren't equipped with the necessary setup to handle patients this ill.
I tried the home route, but when Mom was in those critical states where she needed to be hooked up to machines or given an IV, I found myself wondering what would have happened if she had stayed home instead...

Jonathan Doyle55 said:Well, unfortunately, we didn't pull it off, and my mom's been diagnosed with metastases, so naturally, we’ve been briefed on the road ahead—which is obviously going to be anything but pleasant. Since she lives on her own, we're stuck weighing our options right now, wondering if it's better to arrange for someone to move in and help her out, or if we should find her a high-quality, compassionate care facility where she can get proper support until the end while allowing us to drop in and see her every single day.
We went through something pretty similar with my dad, but back then, the call was made to keep him at home. The real kicker was that we just weren't in a position to provide the kind of high-level medical care he actually needed, so I can't help but feel like he was suffering more than he should have, even while he was right there with us.😢
Does anyone know of, or could they recommend, a decent assisted living facility or care home in New York City? Basically, they just don't want them over at Vinogradska because they claim there isn't enough room for patients like that, and honestly, it's the same story at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Thanks in advance.🙏

So, my family and I are currently stuck in a situation that’s almost a carbon copy of yours. A few posts back, I went into detail about my grandmother’s case—she recently suffered a stroke, which left her entire left side paralyzed, and she’s also dealing with a kidney stone that completely blocked one of her kidneys. They actually just installed an external stoma for her today; basically, there's a little tube going directly from the kidney through the skin rather than through the ureter, so the urine drains straight into a bag. On top of all that, she’s 81 years old and managing both diabetes with insulin and high blood pressure.
We could have managed the rest somehow, maybe even healed her or patched things up enough to give her a little more time, but then they found late-stage colon cancer, and the metastases had already spread to her liver. The doctor was brutally honest with us—he basically said there’s no hope left, and now we're just counting down the days until she passes. He told us straight up that there isn't anything else for the hospital to treat; at this point, pushing forward would just be prolonging the suffering.
I mean, obviously, I’m not making the call here since I don't have any experience with this kind of thing, but the doctor currently looking after my grandma suggested we look into the facility in Marof for patients in her situation. There wasn't even a question about whether she’d be heading home or getting placed somewhere else, because honestly, with the issues she's dealing with right now, we just can't provide the level of care she needs at the house. Look, I have no idea what it's actually like there, but the doctor pointed us toward Marof, so we'll just see how it plays out. At the end of the day, I think you really have to do your homework and ask all the right questions first, because let's face it, all we want is for our loved ones to spend their final days being treated with actual humanity and dignity.
I am so incredibly sorry about your mom; my heart really goes out to you. Honestly, we’re walking through a pretty similar kind of hell right now, so I truly get it. Just hang in there and stay strong.

brightgardener8 said:I can send you a private message with the name of the facility where my mother is staying—one I wouldn't recommend to anyone, even though we actually chose it because we heard nothing but glowing reviews. Unfortunately, she’s in such a state now that moving her just isn't an option.

It’s probably best if a parent stays home with their family, but I also get that it’s not always realistic. We all have jobs, we have to leave the house, and most of us just don't have the setup at home to handle such critically ill patients.
I tried doing it that way, too, but during those terrifying moments when Mom was in such bad shape that she needed machines or IV drips, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she had stayed at home instead...

Thanks for that. Please, send me a DM letting me know which facility it is. I have a few "recommendations" for two or three places myself, and I want to make sure they aren't part of the same group.😲
Yeah, that last point you made is the real kicker. It sounds lovely in theory to have a patient at home, but they require 24-hour care for someone this sick—everything from bathing and incontinence to managing pain, potential feeding issues, and all the complications that hit toward the end, like heart failure, fevers, fluid in the lungs, and suffocation... ugh, it's hard to even list it all out. You know exactly what's coming, and honestly, I just wish it would be over for her sake as soon as possible, but this damn disease just knows how to linger and torture you...
I truly believe that even having nurses come to the house doesn't solve everything, because they don't carry the heavy medical equipment needed to manage these situations... cancer seriously sucks!!!😠

Jonathan Doyle55 said:Unfortunately, things didn't go our way, and my mother has been diagnosed with metastases. We’ve been briefed on what comes next, and frankly, it isn't going to be pleasant. Since she lives alone, we're torn: should we arrange for someone to come stay with her, or move her into a high-quality (humane) facility where she can receive proper care until the end, allowing us to visit her daily?
We went through something similar with my father, but back then, the decision was made to keep him at home. The issue was that we simply couldn't provide the level of medical care he needed, and I honestly feel like he suffered more because of it, even though he was with us...😢
Does anyone know of or can anyone recommend a good facility or nursing home in New York City? (Apparently, they won't take her at the hospital in Manhattan because they don't have space for patients in this condition, nor does MD Anderson Cancer Center)...thanks in advance..🙏

I am so sorry you're going through this. If I were in your shoes, I would suggest looking into a long-term care facility out in a suburb like Dug Resa. It’s a bit more dignified than the options in Marof. My own mother spent her final days there. I wasn't able to care for her at home either, because she was immobile, incontinent, had a stoma, and was dealing with constant pain from metastases throughout her body. In the facility, she was kept clean, tidy, and fed (well, as much as she could manage), and they provided her with pain management and compassionate care until the very end. We actually dropped in once unannounced just to check on her—she had been telling us she’d had an accident, which turned out not to be true. I am truly grateful to the doctors and nurses in Dug Resa for allowing my mother to pass away with dignity, something I wouldn't have been able to facilitate at home. Hang in there; I'm sending you a big 🙂 because I know exactly how you feel.

Four months ago, I was diagnosed with stage 1B non-small cell lung cancer, and I've already undergone surgery. I'm looking to hear from others who were also diagnosed at such an early stage... what should I realistically expect moving forward?

Amanda Miller69 said:I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through this. If I were in your shoes, I’d actually suggest looking into a long-term care facility out in the suburbs—maybe somewhere like the outskirts of New York City. It’s a bit more dignified than the facilities they have over in Marof. My own mother spent her final days there. Honestly, I couldn't have cared for her at home; she was immobile, incontinent, had a stoma, and was dealing with pain from metastases everywhere. At the hospital, she was kept clean, tidy, and fed (as much as she could handle), and they managed her pain and looked after her until the very end. We even dropped in unannounced once just to check on her—she’d been telling me things about needing help with her bathroom needs that weren't quite true—just to see how she really was. I am so deeply grateful to the doctors and nurses in that area for allowing my mom to pass away with dignity, something I simply couldn't have provided at home. Hang in there. Sending you a huge 🙂 because I know exactly what you're feeling right now.

Thanks so much for sharing that. To be honest, I’m not even sure how I’d manage visiting every single day all the way from New York City... How do they handle sudden emergencies there? Like, if an organ starts failing or there’s a bowel obstruction and they suddenly need to perform a stoma procedure? Is the medical staff actually competent? And most importantly, is the staff approachable? Did you feel like they were truly there for her when things got difficult?

Jonathan Doyle55 said:Thanks for the info, though I honestly have no idea how you manage visiting every single day from all the way out in New York City... How do they handle sudden emergencies, like if an organ fails or there's a bowel obstruction requiring a stoma? Is the medical staff actually competent? Are they approachable, and did you feel like they truly stood by her when things got difficult?

We didn't go every day, just twice—she passed away eight days after we arrived. I assume they have all the necessary equipment for emergency situations; my mom didn't require any specific interventions. She passed due to liver failure, and she simply fell asleep. From what we saw, the staff was genuinely wonderful and attentive to the patients. The moment Mom mentioned she was in pain, a nurse appeared with an injection. The doctor always took the time to talk with us (we called every day), and he was consistently kind and compassionate. They are also very transparent regarding a patient's condition. During those eight days, we didn't bring any gifts or anything of the sort. Once Mom passed and we returned to the facility, we left behind the items she still needed, such as diapers, medication, and so on. One day, when Mom wasn't answering her phone, we called the nurse; she went to check on her, told us to call again, and even handed Mom the phone so I could hear her voice—even though she was already quite disoriented and weak.

neondrifter9 said:Does anyone know what this is? My father has colon cancer and is scheduled for surgery in 7 days, and I am just a wreck. Has anyone used this, and where can it be found? We have tried everything so far, but nothing seems to work.
Thanks, and hello to the group. (My first post)

Hello everyone,
My mother took IP6 & inositol, which we had to import, and I have to say she went through chemotherapy incredibly well because of it (she started taking it after her first session when she felt absolutely terrible). Her blood counts improved, her energy levels were up, and she functioned much better. Mom had breast cancer, went through the chemo and surgery I described, and today, 14 months later, you wouldn't even know what she went through. I thought it would be good to share this with you all, because if it helps even one person, it's worth it...
Best to the group, Goga

We were actually looking into which supplements would be best for my mom a while back—so we started digging into IP6. I have to admit, we didn't manage to find much solid info (aside from all those flashy, over-the-top ads popping up on random websites), especially nothing firsthand from people actually using it. We did pick up on how they try to pitch this stuff, though, which was honestly more of a turn-off than anything else... Some of what we learned came straight from other folks on these forums, while some of it we just picked up through the grapevine...
Look, I’m sorry if I’m totally off base here, because I truly believe that taking certain supplements shouldn't hurt anyone, and, I'll be real, I can't say for sure whether this specific one even works or not... I don't want to offend anyone, BUT, seriously, hasn't it caught anyone else's eye how suspiciously neondrifter9, placidtinker13 and Grace Grant10 seem to be pushing this exact same supplement through their posts?!? All of them (if we're really talking about just three people) showed up on this forum just a few days ago, and IP6 seems to be the main reason they're even here—I'm asking the moderators to please take a look at the other recent posts by these same users! Is this an ad?
It kills me to waste precious time and space here when there are people who actually need it, but I just don't want anyone (myself included) to fall for this trap.
A little while ago, I posted a question about this same thing on the Cybermed portal, and while I know doctors here in the States rarely suggest adding supplements to standard treatment, I'm dropping the link anyway because I really respect the well-reasoned opinion the doctor gave in his response... you guys can decide for yourselves!

shadowmason6 said:We were also looking into which supplements might be best for my mother, so we tried to look into IP6. I have to admit we haven't gathered much info (aside from those flashy ads on various websites), especially not firsthand from actual users. We learned a bit about how this specific product is being pushed—which mostly turned us off rather than drawing us in. Some info came to us directly from forum members, while other bits we picked up indirectly...
I'm sorry if I'm wrong, because I truly believe taking certain supplements can't hurt, and, I'll admit, I can't say for sure whether this one actually works or not... I don't want to offend anyone, BUT, tell me, hasn't it caught anyone else's eye how sneakily neondrifter9, placidtinker13 andGrace Grant10
are trying to push this product through their posts?!? All of them (if we are even talking about just three people) appeared on the forum just a few days ago, and IP6 seems to be the main reason they showed up—I ask the moderators to please check the other recent posts by these same authors! Is this an ad?
I feel bad taking up precious time and space from those who truly need it, but I wouldn't want anyone (including myself) to be misled.
A little while ago, I posted a question about this same thing on the Cybermed portal, so, even though I know doctors here rarely recommend any supplements alongside standard therapy, I'm leaving the link because I respect the well-reasoned opinion of the doctor who responded... decide for yourselves! http://www.cybermed.com/index.php/pbl..._diferencirani

I suppose I have to address this post. I really don't think this is the right place or time for these kinds of debates, but the fact that I, as Gordana Simic, couldn't sign up using just my name but had to use a combination of first and last names... honestly, it doesn't matter. Besides, if this forum isn't meant for exchanging information during the family crises most of the people in this thread are facing, then I regret even wanting to help someone. My mother is doing well now, and that's all that matters to me. If you don't want to find various supportive remedies in one way or another, then that's your business. As for Dr. Thomas and most of his colleagues, we all know what they think about supplements and that they only acknowledge what they themselves prescribe. To make sure this isn't an advertisement, let everyone interested look for the book called: *The Drugs They Don't Want You To Know About*. It explains best how much doctors and the pharmaceutical industry care about our "well-being" and our money.
Up until now, I've just been reading your posts, and now that I've decided to share some of my own positive experiences, I get this.
Thanks,
Goga

Grace Grant10, I mentioned this before and I’ll say it again—I am truly sorry if I misread the situation... I just wrote down what it looked like to me (which, looking back at the other posts more closely, really seemed aimed mostly at placidtinker13), but everyone else can decide for themselves how they feel about it.
I guess I'm just hyper-sensitive to anyone trying to pull a fast one, especially given the heavy stuff people are dealing with here... In this whole "information exchange" thing, you constantly run into people who are just trying to hype themselves up and play the hero.
So, yeah, my apologies once more if I totally misread the vibe!

Grace Grant10 said:I really need to address this post. Honestly, I don't think this is the right place or the right time for these kinds of arguments, but the fact that I, as Gordana Simic, couldn't sign up using just my name but had to use a combination of first and last names—it truly doesn't matter. Beyond that, if this forum isn't meant for exchanging information during a family crisis—which is what most people in this thread are going through—then I regret even trying to help anyone. My mother is doing fine now, and that’s all that matters to me. If you all refuse to look into various supplemental aids one way or another, then that’s your own problem. As for Dr. Thomas and most of his colleagues, we all know their stance on dietary supplements; they only acknowledge what they personally prescribe. I'm not trying to make this an advertisement, but anyone interested should go find the book *The Drugs They Don't Want You To Know About*. It lays out perfectly how much doctors and Big Pharma actually care about our "well-being" and our wallets.
Up until now, I've just been reading your posts, and now that I've finally decided to share some of my own positive experiences, I get hit with this.
Thanks,
Goga

If you ask me, it is the right time, absolutely, and the right place☕. If someone has doubts, fine. It's perfectly okay to voice them, just as it's okay to share an opinion or an experience regarding how something helped someone else.
There is far too much junk on the market, mostly sold with exaggerated claims of effectiveness, designed solely to squeeze every cent out of vulnerable people before they disappear😳, but lacking any concrete evidence—specifically scientific evidence based on actual studies, complete with lists of patients, medical histories, and "before and after" results. Only a product with a track record like that is actually relevant. Everything else is just hearsay and blind trial and error.

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The most critical thing right now is reviewing the pathology report to identify the specific type of carcinoma involved. To give you some perspective, my husband underwent surgery for an adenocarcinoma in his lung, about 2x2 cm, two years ago. Following the procedure, he completed four rounds of chemotherapy using Gemzar and Cisplatin. Currently, he just goes in for follow-up checkups every six months. During the operation, they had to remove roughly 40% of his right lung, but overall, he’s feeling quite good.
Do you happen to know the exact subtype of the cancer your father is facing, and what the size of the lesion is? Also, did the doctors perform any additional screenings, like a gastroscopy or colonoscopy, to rule out any metastasis elsewhere? Most importantly, how is he holding up mentally through all of this?
My husband also took IP6, and he truly feels it made a difference in his recovery. While I realize there isn't definitive clinical evidence to prove it, it's a supplement designed to bolster the immune system and help the body fight back against those rogue cells. It's derived from grains that we actually ended up removing from our own diet because they weren't serving us well, even though they provide certain nutrients the body needs.
Best regards,
Nada

I feel like I need to step up and back the story on IP6, because it objectively helped my dad while he was going through chemo. He had noticeably more energy, his appetite actually came back, and he handled the nausea much better. Now, let me be crystal clear: IP6 IS NOT A CURE!!!! Don't go getting any ideas—a definitive cure for most types of cancer hasn't been found yet. But in our specific case, it was a huge help in improving his overall quality of life. What Grace Grant10 is saying is absolutely true.👍

😉
hey guys..
just wanted to drop in and show some support for everyone here...
I'm 24 and lost my mom to cancer just last year—it all happened in only three weeks.
Honestly, I thought I was going to lose it when I first heard she was sick...
Three weeks later, she passed away right in my arms after we brought her home.
There was nothing they could do... bile issues, stomach metastases... constant vomiting...
Sending a huge hug to everyone—I truly believe everything can be handled with enough willpower...
you can do it people... we're all standing with YOU!!!

ps... it's kind of awkward to admit... but I constantly feel like it's coming for me too, since my grandma died from cancer as well... any advice on how to deal with that anxiety?

Jonathan Doyle55 said:Yeah, that last part you mentioned is the real kicker. It’s nice having the patient at home, but they're asking for 24/7 care for someone critically ill—everything from bathing and bathroom needs to managing pain, feeding, and those brutal end-stage issues like heart failure, fevers, fluid in the lungs, and choking... honestly, it's hard to even list it all because you know exactly what's coming. Part of me just wants it to be over for her sake, but this damn disease can just drag things out forever...
I think even home help doesn't cut it sometimes because nurses don't have the heavy-duty equipment needed for that level of care... cancer fucking sucks!!!😠

I was by my mom's side for the last two days—on the final day I was just painting her nails while she was vomiting every five minutes... I don't even know how I made it through. After she passed right in my arms, I just went numb for two days... then I just sat there by her side, and that was it..
I also have to say, I'm glad she died at home. We actually had to push really hard to get them to let her come back, since our family initially couldn't accept letting her go that way—we didn't want to be apart. But once there's no hope left, it's better to just face it and let them go somewhere where there's no more pain or sickness...

reddriver45 said:I spent the last two days right by my mom's side, painting her nails on her final day, while she was vomiting every five minutes... I don't even know how I survived it... When she passed away in my arms, I just sat there for two days after... just sitting next to her, you know?
I have to say, I'm actually glad she passed away at home. They only moved her back after we pushed so hard—our whole family was fighting it because we just weren't ready to let her go. But honestly, once there's no hope left, it’s better to accept it and let them go somewhere where they won't be in pain or suffering from disease anymore...

I hear you, dear... I truly understand what you're going through and what you're feeling right now... but I went through the exact same thing with my old man a few years back. Only, not all cancers are as merciful as yours was, letting someone slip away in two weeks. My father spent months dying in agony, in such intense pain that even massive doses of morphine couldn't touch it... So when you listen to your loved ones suffering right in front of you and you realize you can't do a damn thing to help, it hits you hard. I won't even get into the details of the end here, but it was horrific. We were all there with him, and of course, we're glad we could hold his hand in those moments, but it left deep scars on all of us—especially that crushing realization that we couldn't provide enough relief to ease his torment...
His sister would come by every morning, he was getting injections directly into the nerves near his spine and everything, but still, I don't think it was ever enough...

As for you—unfortunately, it is possible that this might happen to you, just like it did to me, more likely than it would to the rest of the population. But nothing is certain; if it were, they would have already found a cure for cancer. There are hundreds of different types of cancer, and they behave so unpredictably that scientists can't find that one specific weakness to turn it into something manageable like a chronic illness.

All we can do is hope for better medications and better care for people who have to leave this world in such terrible condition. I don't think our generation can count on a miracle cure just yet. I just want you to stay strong, because I know how incredibly hard it is to lose your mother when you're still so young... Damn... big hug, hang in there!

Sandra Martin60 said:I have already mentioned that I experienced the onset of carcinoma, and this specific preparation truly helped me. I will outline the ingredients for you and provide information on where to purchase them and where you can research everything online.
Ingredients: - stabilized oxygen (Oxymax—which can also be ordered here in the US via the Calivita website, costing approximately $83)
- vinegar (pure, not apple cider or wine vinegar)
- apple or orange juice (freshly squeezed)
- it can be sweetened with those glucose tablets you get when donating blood (I can't recall the exact name)

For a detailed description of the preparation, please refer to the latest issue of NEXUS magazine, February/March edition.
www.miraclemineral.org (this site describes the precise protocols for various types of illnesses, including carcinoma)
www.foodreserves.com/stabilizedoxygen.html (here you can find descriptions of the properties of stabilized oxygen along with testimonials from people who have tried it)

You have nothing to lose since there are no side effects, and it restores immunity at a very rapid pace.
That is all from me. If you happen to have any questions, I will respond via private message only. Thanks.

You are INDIGO22, right?

How is it possible that you had cancer???

If you are indeed INDIGO22 and if you actually dealt with cancer, then you conquered it through your own strength; forget about these "preparations."

Greetings to my fellow forum members,

Prompted by the various life stories shared here, I have decided to recount my own journey.

My name is Eddie, born on September 11, 1981. When I first started school back in '86 or '87,
I was about seven years old, and while most weeks would pass without incident, every Friday I would be struck by nausea, headaches, and dizziness,
often resulting in vomiting. I underwent numerous tests, yet none could pinpoint the underlying cause
of these issues. Even a CT scan failed to reveal anything. It wasn't until later, when I was in the fifth grade,
that I traveled to New York City for an MRI, which finally detected a small tumor on my brainstem.
Because of this tumor, which obstructed the flow of cerebrospinal fluid, I suffered from intense intracranial pressure,
leading to constant vomiting, debilitating headaches, and vertigo.
They performed a shunt placement. However, toward the end of my elementary schooling, the tumor began to grow aggressively,
disrupting everything in my life, though I did manage to finish my primary education.
When I transitioned to middle school, I began falling frequently on my way to class,
which ultimately forced me to withdraw at the mid-year mark. I was prescribed various medications, though the specifics have slipped my mind over the years.
The tumor was deemed inoperable at the time. For reasons I still don't quite grasp, they had removed the shunt.
I endured chemotherapy and radiation, and when I found myself teetering on the very edge of survival, one doctor
mustered his resolve and told me, "We can't continue like this; we have to attempt surgery, there is no other way."

Following the surgery, I ended up in a wheelchair, roughly 90% disabled; my left side was paralyzed,
and my right eye remained closed due to nerve damage. That all took place back in '98.
I have been receiving physical therapy at home for over ten years now, and my condition has improved somewhat.
I am able to walk slowly, provided I can steady myself using my right hand on a handrail.
My balance remains poor because I am limited to vision from only one eye. I spent ten years confined to my home,
essentially 24/7, as my parents were hesitant to let me go anywhere. Now, for the third year running, I have begun attending
the Slava Raskaj facility in Miami, and I am also a member of the Heart Association for people with cerebral
palsy. While these activities occupy part of my day, I still find myself deeply missing the freedom of going out.

Take a look at this... at least there's some good news for once.