Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Dana Baker37 said:[/B]
thanks Maria Fox 🙂
I am truly happy for you and your mother, and I will be keeping you both in my thoughts as things move forward... 👍
As for myself, I am also feeling quite content today because I have been granted permission to visit my mother (I am heading there tomorrow), though I expect it will be rather brief... regardless, it should be enough time to see her and bring along some essentials. On a side note, I really must commend the physicians and nursing staff at Mercy Hospital, as their level of care and vigilance regarding my mother's condition is truly noteworthy... 👍
Best regards to everyone!

I can imagine how much this means to you, and I am genuinely pleased on your behalf... especially since even a fleeting moment with your mother will provide some much-needed peace.

I had intended to write another day about how difficult it can be for our mothers, and how necessary it is to respect their wishes when they admit they simply don't have the strength to face us anymore. Over the last few days, I found myself confined to bed, utterly incapacitated by a certain weakness and pneumonia, while my own mother called me—not out of concern for herself, mind you, but because of me... It turns out I am far more fragile than she is, considering she has accepted everything as just a way of life...

That is all for now, and I look forward to reading your update on how the visit went... stay strong.

Just tell yourself: things could always be worse.
I’ve been struggling with epilepsy for over 20 years now, and my mom, who's in her fifties, just lost one of her kidneys—and honestly, the doctors at the Mayo Clinic still haven't fully convinced us that the tumor is completely gone.
Whenever I feel like breaking down, I just think to myself: why am I complaining? There are people out there without limbs, or people who are blind or deaf...
so life just keeps moving.🙂
Hang in there, everyone.

My dad passed away for good😢
thanks Jane and everyone who reached out to lend us a hand during this incredibly difficult time.

Amy Hayes28 said:My dad passed away for good.😢
thanks Jane and everyone who reached out to help us through this pain.

😢🙂
Please accept my deepest condolences. Your father was a true fighter. He defied every medical statistic out there, and I’m sure you and your family played a huge part in that strength.
Hang in there and stay strong.

Amy Hayes28 said:My dad passed away...😢
thanks Jane and everyone who reached out to support us during this tough time.

🙂Stay strong. Sending my deepest condolences to you and your whole family...

Amy Hayes28 said:My dad passed away for good.😢
thanks Jane and everyone who reached out to help us through this nightmare.

I am truly sorry for your loss. 😢
I know how hard you guys fought; at least your dad isn't suffering anymore...
Hang in there. 🙂

Amy Hayes28 said:My father passed away permanently.😢
Thank you Jane and everyone else who reached out to offer support during this difficult time.

Please accept my deepest condolences.🙂

Amy Hayes28 said:My dad has passed away for good.😢
thank you Jane and everyone else who reached out to lend a hand during such a difficult time.

Please accept my deepest condolences. Hang in there. 🙂

Amy Hayes28 said:My dad passed away. He's gone for good.😢
Thank you Jane and everyone else who reached out to help us through this.

My deepest condolences to you and your family.😢
Another star in the sky tonight...
Visited Mom today. Climbing up to the hematology ward, my knees felt shaky and my head was spinning with a million different thoughts. The nurse met us at the door—my husband came along too—wearing masks and gowns since Mom is in isolation. Honestly, I’m just so glad I got to see her. She’s holding up incredibly well; she still manages to blow me away, even after all this time. Once the nurse finished sterilizing everything I brought, they actually brought us some tape so we could stick my daughter's drawings on the wall. It was such a sweet moment. We just sat and spent time together; I really needed that. She’s facing another brutal week ahead with the stem cell transplant. They’ve prepped her for potential complications, and I’m just praying to God that He stays by her side so she can win this fight, too. Sending love to everyone standing by us! 🙂

Amy Hayes28, I am truly and deeply sorry to hear about the passing of your father. My heart goes out to you and your entire family.

Amy Hayes28, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. No matter how much you tell yourself that death is just part of the deal, nothing actually prepares you for that kind of pain. It hits you regardless.

My husband is finally heading to Jordan this Wednesday. Honestly, I have no clue if they’re going to keep him overnight for more testing, or if they’ll just discharge us once the RTG and ECG are finished.
Things have taken a turn for the worse with him, though. He started coughing, which is freaking me out because he hasn't had a cough in three years. On top of that, his shoulders, arms, and even his femur are killing him..
We bumped his Durogestic up to 50, and he's taking Tramal too.. It’s just not good. He’s looking thin and he can't seem to get comfortable.. I'll see what the doctor says, but I'm bracing myself for them to brush it off again.. saying it's all just "in his head"..

I just got off the phone with my uncle, and he told me they suspect my mom has a malignant lung tumor. It’s in a spot where surgery isn't an option, and they’re worried it might have already metastasized.

When I heard that today, it felt like the floor just fell out from under me.
It felt like my legs were being cut off—it all started so innocently with some coughing, then hospitalization, a bronchoscopy, and a chest CT.

Since she was sharing a room with two other women—one with tuberculosis and another with viral pneumonia—I couldn't bring myself to visit her because of the fear. The ward entrance specifically says "No pregnant women or children under 12 allowed," and honestly, after being hospitalized twice myself for a virus and needing IV fluids for a few days at a time, I was terrified.

She was discharged, but they called her back today for a lung biopsy. My uncle—he's a surgeon living in Germany—called the doctor, who said the bronchoscopy results weren't good. They found malignant cells in the tissue samples, and there's a shadow on the scan they don't like. She's about 90% sure it's cancerous.

The biopsy should clarify everything once and for all..

Everyone, today has been horrific. I feel like I'm sinking into an abyss. I'm halfway through my pregnancy—five months in—and I can't stop crying. Every time I sob, my stomach aches..

It's just awful. I feel terrible. 😢

I'm stuck in this collision of pure joy (because of the pregnancy and the baby) and overwhelming grief (because of my mother's illness).

What do I do? How am I supposed to act?

Could anyone lend me a hand?
I was wondering if someone might be able to recommend a skilled and approachable digestive surgeon in Washington, D.C.? I’m really looking to get a second opinion after my recent consultation with a surgeon at the hospital in a coastal city... he doesn't seem keen on performing the surgery unless it becomes an absolute emergency, almost as if he's hesitant to take any risks or just isn't feeling up to the task...
The situation involves surgery on the small intestine and a carcinoma in the mesentery...

Susan Diaz91 said:I heard from my uncle over the phone today that they suspect my mother has a malignant lung tumor. It’s apparently located in a spot where surgery isn't an option, and they're worried it might have already metastasized.

What should I do? How am I supposed to act?

You are in a heavy situation, but perhaps not quite as dire as your mind is making it out to be. First things first: you need a definitive diagnosis. The doctors haven't even confirmed 100% that your mother has a malignancy, yet there is already talk of metastasis?😕 That isn't how the process works. Even if they do confirm the diagnosis, you should know that people don't just drop dead from this overnight anymore. With the right care and treatment, your mother will surely be there to see your baby's first steps, sharing the joys of parenting and passing down her wisdom as a grandmother. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer back in September 2007, and as we speak, I'm heading to radiation treatments (about 50 miles in total). Naturally, one of our two sons or I always goes with him, but he still drives himself!👍
Similarly, Lisa White54's husband has been fighting this exact same battle for four years now—so, keep your chin up. Read through some posts, look into nutritional supplements to support the immune system, start getting those into her immediately, and make sure she doesn't lose too much weight. Get ready for the fight.
Take care of yourself. This struggle, which you will face alongside your mother, will ultimately refine you and reveal depths to your own character you didn't even know existed. You will also discover things about other people that you never would have believed. Be prepared, be brave, stay strong, and do not be ashamed to share your feelings with the people you love most and trust deeply.
Good luck to all three of you.🙂

rustyscout31, check your DMs, I sent you a few things there.

Amy Hayes28, man, I am so incredibly sorry. Hang in there... stay strong... 🙂

My mom’s latest results—the colonoscopy, the blood work, and that CT scan—are actually looking okay... Well, mostly. They did find these two tiny little nodules on her liver, unknown cause and all that, so I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, you know? But honestly, they're so microscopic the doctors couldn't even get an actual measurement on them, and since there’s also one larger cyst involved (which looks similar on the scans), we're just praying they turn out to be nothing more than simple cysts... We're going to try to just take it easy and decompress until May when she has to go back for more testing.
Still, it feels like a bit of a weight has been lifted...

Susan Diaz91, I totally remember that gut-wrenching feeling when the doctors start dropping hints and then a diagnosis hits you like a ton of bricks. Eventually, you just learn how to live with it, how to fight it, and you realize that everything isn't quite as dark as it felt in that first terrifying moment... and that there is still so much you can do... Just dig deep, find your courage, and keep moving forward! Be strong, for your mom's sake. Susan Ruiz76 put it perfectly.
... and, hey, keep that baby in your thoughts. 🙂

Thank you, everyone!

Susan Ruiz76 said:Watch out, because this fight you’re about to embark on with your one and only is going to shape you. It’ll reveal parts of your own soul you didn't even know existed. And honestly? You’re going to see things in other people too—things you never would have believed you’d witness. Just be ready. Be brave, stay strong, and for heaven's sake, don't be afraid to open up and share those raw feelings with the people you love most and trust implicitly.
Good luck to all three of you.🙂

That was so simple, yet so beautifully put.🙂

Amy Hayes28, I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your father.

I’m wishing you strength for everything ahead of you...

To everyone else out there, stay strong. I wish you all nothing but success in your own battles and in the fights your loved ones are facing. I hope everyone pulls through and recovers.

As for me, I still miss my dad more than words can say. That pain never really goes away.

Susan Diaz91 said:Hearing that today felt like the floor just dropped out from under me.
It felt like my legs were being severed. It all started so innocently enough—just some coughing, then getting hospitalized, undergoing a bronchoscopy, and having a lung CT scan.

I am so sorry... I went through the exact same thing when they told us they found a new tumor in my dad's lungs.😠

I finally have some actual good news to share on this thread! And I mean incredibly, life-changingly good news!!!
I mentioned before that during his follow-up CT scan, they told my dad there was a new primary tumor on his bronchi with lung metastases... Well, we finally got all the tests finished and the biopsy results are back. It turns out there is no tumor at all!!!!! 🙂🙂🙂🙂🎉
They discovered he has a recurrence of Escherichia coli, which he picked up after his throat surgery. He just needs a course of antibiotics for that and then a follow-up X-ray in two months just to be safe and make sure nothing else pops up.

I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am!!! 😍 It feels like someone just lifted three tons off my shoulders! Honestly, I feel like 🙂 giving a massive middle finger to every single doctor who scared us half to death... I still haven't fully processed the shock I went through...