Mental health check: Is this burnout or something else?

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It’s actually taken me quite a while to finally sit down and force myself to write this out.

For a while now, I've just been feeling... off. It's hard to describe—this constant, swirling thought in the back of my mind that I'm seriously ill. It all started so abruptly about two years ago.

To give you some context, I'm 19 years old, standing about 6'1" and weighing around 160 lbs. I used to be really into basketball, but I kind of drifted away from it when I was around 14 or 15. I'd say I'm pretty outgoing—I love a good laugh, I'm definitely not the shy type, and I have a great circle of friends. Lately, though, I've been working over at Studio 54, and during my shifts, this nagging fear that I'm sick just keeps hunting me down. I picked up smoking when I was 14, and while I managed to quit for stretches here and there, I've recently fallen back into the habit. And once I did? That's when the word "Cancer" started spinning around in my head like a broken record. Whenever I catch myself coughing, this wave of pure panic just hits me. Or sometimes, I'll feel completely overheated, even though I check and there's absolutely no fever. Sometimes I find the whole thing almost absurd—honestly, a little funny in a dark way—but the anxiety is just stronger than my logic. I went through the ringer with medical tests about four months ago—did everything, blood work, urine samples, checked my glucose and iron levels—and everything came back perfect. Then three months ago, I even had my lungs scanned, and again, totally normal. But still, the intrusive thoughts and the dread just won't let go. I mean, what are the actual odds of a 19-year-old having cancer?😕 😕 😕 😕 I mean, realistically, probably zero, right? But my brain is playing tricks on me—it's telling me one thing while my body says another. It's become this endless cycle for the last two years; these thoughts hit me hard, they linger, then they fade, and for a while, I'm actually happy and feeling fine again, only for the loop to start all over. Just as a side note, everyone in my family smokes, but no one has ever dealt with anything like this. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?😕 🤷

You really only have two ways to play this:

1. Quit smoking (I mean, obviously it’s bad for your physical health, though I haven't come across a case where it ruins your mental state quite like this)

2. Just convince yourself you aren't getting cancer. First off, you're way too young. Second, you've already had the tests done. You're acting like a hypochondriac... unless you're just messing with us. But I won't assume that, since you say you're feeling fine today.

That's it.

Oh, wait, there is a third option—a combination of the first two: quit smoking and deal with this phobia once and for all. Just be careful not to let one fear turn into another.

If I were you, I'd 🤷
...

Go see a therapist. Seriously.

Morgan Davis12 said:🤷

It has taken me quite some time to finally steel myself enough to write this post.

For a while now, I have been feeling quite strange... I am constantly haunted by this image of myself being ill, and it all started so abruptly about two years ago...

I am 19 years old, standing 185cm tall, weighing 73kg... I played basketball for a long time, though I stopped around age 14 or 15... I enjoy joking around, I’m not an introverted person, and I have plenty of friends... I work at Studio 54... Lately, however, I am frequently plagued by the thought that I am sick... I started smoking when I was 14, though I managed to quit for several long stretches... now I have picked it up again, and my mind keeps racing toward cancer. Whenever I start coughing, a wave of panic washes over me... then I feel completely overheated, even though I don't actually have a fever... sometimes I find it ridiculous, but honestly, it is simply stronger than I am... I went through every possible test I could four months ago... everything was perfect—bloodwork, urine, blood sugar, iron levels... three months ago, I even had imaging done on my lungs, and everything was normal... yet, these various thoughts and fears continue to haunt me... What are the chances of someone who is 19 having cancer?😕 😕 😕 😕 I mean, probably none, but my head works one way and my body works another... it is just a constant cycle; for two years now, these thoughts hit me, they persist, then they fade, then I am happy again for a while and everything feels fine, and it just goes around in circles... incidentally, everyone in my family smokes, and no one else has ever dealt with anything like this... please, tell me what I should do.😕 🤷

Panic attacks...
I went through those exact same issues—except for me, I felt like I was having a heart attack every single time.
Either go see a psychologist for a consultation, or try to help yourself.
If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a private message.