#1 ·
First off, sorry if this is a repeat thread—I couldn’t find anything similar. Or if I totally missed the mark on which subforum this belongs in, mods, please feel free to move it to the right spot.
So, here's the deal: my dad is an alcoholic. It's a textbook case, unfortunately. He's let himself go to some pretty extreme levels; he gets disoriented sometimes and isn't really tuned into what's happening in the world around him. He's fifty-six. He's been drinking a bit his whole life, but things have gotten way more intense over the last decade. This past year? Total disaster.
The thing is, I don't live with him. My parents split up over twenty years ago. Dad lives alone; after my grandma passed away, he picked up a small apartment (he's unemployed, obviously). About a month ago, he went and got a puppy. I'm guessing he's just lonely, but honestly, he isn't in any state to look after another living creature, especially not a little puppy that needs constant attention.
His place is a wreck. Everything is torn up and filthy, there's dog mess all over the floors, and the whole place stinks like something died. Both the apartment and my dad... you can smell it from the hallway.
His hands are covered in raw sores from the puppy scratching at him. He looks like a total bum—unwashed, unshaven, just completely unkempt and falling apart. And yeah, it goes on and on like that...
I don't get to watch over him regularly since I don't live in America. (I work in Boston). Still, I came back home for a week during my vacation to visit family and friends (I'm originally from Seattle), and I was just floored by his situation—hygienically, socially, morally, health-wise... it was just bad on every level.
Anyway, I headed back to the States and decided I need to change things. If it comes down to it, I'll drop everything here and move back.
Why haven't I stepped up until now? Honestly, I was never that close to the guy, we didn't see each other much, and he hasn't exactly done much for me in life. Plus, I didn't realize how bad it had actually spiraled. But regardless, as his son, I owe him this much.
No one else is going to do it. And he isn't a bad person; even when he's drunk, he's kind. He's never laid a finger on me in his life.
What I'm really asking is: what on earth CAN I do?? I want him to go to rehab, or a clinic, or something.
But what are the rules and laws regarding this? If he won't agree to it or admit it to himself, how can I force his hand? Am I supposed to call some psychiatric hospital in Maui and expect two orderlies to just grab him and toss him into an ambulance? Or maybe some non-profit in Seattle? Who do I even contact? The internet is being pretty useless on this.
I know what I *want* to do. But what can I actually do to make things move forward??
Do I need paperwork, power of attorney? An evaluation? A lawyer?
He lives alone, he's not part of any household, he's totally on his own. Who can represent him? Me? How?
Thanks in advance for any help, and sorry for the massive wall of text.
So, here's the deal: my dad is an alcoholic. It's a textbook case, unfortunately. He's let himself go to some pretty extreme levels; he gets disoriented sometimes and isn't really tuned into what's happening in the world around him. He's fifty-six. He's been drinking a bit his whole life, but things have gotten way more intense over the last decade. This past year? Total disaster.
The thing is, I don't live with him. My parents split up over twenty years ago. Dad lives alone; after my grandma passed away, he picked up a small apartment (he's unemployed, obviously). About a month ago, he went and got a puppy. I'm guessing he's just lonely, but honestly, he isn't in any state to look after another living creature, especially not a little puppy that needs constant attention.
His place is a wreck. Everything is torn up and filthy, there's dog mess all over the floors, and the whole place stinks like something died. Both the apartment and my dad... you can smell it from the hallway.
His hands are covered in raw sores from the puppy scratching at him. He looks like a total bum—unwashed, unshaven, just completely unkempt and falling apart. And yeah, it goes on and on like that...
I don't get to watch over him regularly since I don't live in America. (I work in Boston). Still, I came back home for a week during my vacation to visit family and friends (I'm originally from Seattle), and I was just floored by his situation—hygienically, socially, morally, health-wise... it was just bad on every level.
Anyway, I headed back to the States and decided I need to change things. If it comes down to it, I'll drop everything here and move back.
Why haven't I stepped up until now? Honestly, I was never that close to the guy, we didn't see each other much, and he hasn't exactly done much for me in life. Plus, I didn't realize how bad it had actually spiraled. But regardless, as his son, I owe him this much.
No one else is going to do it. And he isn't a bad person; even when he's drunk, he's kind. He's never laid a finger on me in his life.
What I'm really asking is: what on earth CAN I do?? I want him to go to rehab, or a clinic, or something.
But what are the rules and laws regarding this? If he won't agree to it or admit it to himself, how can I force his hand? Am I supposed to call some psychiatric hospital in Maui and expect two orderlies to just grab him and toss him into an ambulance? Or maybe some non-profit in Seattle? Who do I even contact? The internet is being pretty useless on this.
I know what I *want* to do. But what can I actually do to make things move forward??
Do I need paperwork, power of attorney? An evaluation? A lawyer?
He lives alone, he's not part of any household, he's totally on his own. Who can represent him? Me? How?
Thanks in advance for any help, and sorry for the massive wall of text.