The dumbest video store clerk ever

So, I head over to this video rental shop here in Washington, D.C. about two months ago—standard polite greetings, the whole bit—and I say to the clerk:
The Big Lebowski.
She’s just staring at her computer screen, telling me it doesn't exist. Apparently, since it hasn't been dubbed into American English—well, she clearly hasn't heard of it—so I suggest she try searching for The Dude.
She types away again, still insisting it's not there. She tells me, "No, seriously, nothing. I tried under b, l, and even v."

It’s such a bummer because my wife hasn't seen it yet, and it's an absolute classic—but I honestly can't wrap my head around how a place like this wouldn't have it. In a last-ditch effort, I ask her to search for The Big Lebowski specifically. She looks at me with this pure, "why is this guy bothering me?" expression, chewing her gum aggressively, and while she's typing, I catch a glimpse of her monitor sitting there at an angle. I couldn't believe my eyes—the girl was actually searching under the names of the video store employees. 😁 😍

Does anyone know a more clueless retail worker out there?
Randal from "Clerks" isn't even in the running here; this level of incompetence is reserved for real people. 😉

😕 🙄

So, about two months ago, I wander into this video rental shop here in Washington, D.C.—standard greetings, polite nods—and I tell the clerk:
The Big Lebowski.
She’s just staring at her computer screen and tells me it doesn't exist. Apparently, it hasn't been dubbed into English, though she clearly hasn't heard of it. So I suggest she try searching for The Dude.
She types it in again—still nothing. Says she tried under 'B', 'L', and 'V'.

It’s actually a bit of a shame, because my wife hasn't seen it yet, and it's an absolute classic. But I honestly can't wrap my head around why a place like this wouldn't have it. In a moment of pure desperation, I ask her to try searching specifically for The Big Lebowski. She gives me this look—total irritation, like "why is this guy bothering me?"—just chewing her gum while she works. As she's typing, I catch a glimpse of her monitor sitting there at an angle, and I can't believe what I see. The girl was actually searching through the membership directory instead of the movie titles.

Does anyone know a more incompetent video store employee?
Randal from "Clerks" isn't even in the running; he’s only a contender if we're talking about actual human beings.

Maybe she was just the new hire.

The Boss from New York City and the Princess

And honestly, she’s fine—I mean, poor thing, it’s not even her fault. She’s just there to chew gum and look pretty, you know? Like, how can you not see that? 😲

I mean, if she's actually talented, maybe people can overlook that... who knows? Or did you just swap her out for some cardboard cutouts from a department store instead?

Probably the same guy who told me this movie was "insanely hilarious."

So, I ask this young lady—after we’ve scrolled through at least twenty different Japanese films together—if there's actually anything left from Japan to watch. And what do I get? Some Chinese drama. A bad one, too, with that tacky "Best Chinese Drama of the Year" text plastered right on the box.

brightscout63 said:It was probably him—the guy who pitched this movie to me as being "absolutely hysterical."

😂 😂 😂

So there was this gay guy—and I mean that literally, not as an insult—who just kept hovering right next to me
"Do you need some help?"
"No, thanks."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Well, what are you looking for?"
"Just a horror movie."
*grabs a disc* "I thought this one was terrifying!"
*I look at him* "I've already seen that one."
*picks up whatever you were doing last summer* "How about this one?"
"Seen it too."
It went on like that forever until he eventually offered me every single horror movie on the shelves
😵
And he just stood there chewing his gum, making all these loud smacking noises 😠

🤣 🤣 why didn't you just tell him to get lost, honey?

I felt bad for him 🙂

So, in my case, it was this woman working at a Blockbuster—basically a newsstand or a little corner shop where they sell cigarettes and magazines. Two times she really threw me for a loop:
1. I pick out a movie, head up to the register, and see some white Philip Morris packs on the shelf. So I ask:
"Hey, do you have that blue Philip Morris?" And she looks at me all serious-like and asks which movie
he's in.
2. Then I go to return a movie and ask if they have any new comedies. She points to a poster in the window featuring Steven Seagal in his latest flick and goes, "He's hilarious, especially when he plays a thief in Home Alone."

blueseal said:"Do you have that blue Philip Morris one?" then she asks me, totally smart, which movie he's in.

😂 😂Was she blonde? 🤣

Well, I ran into a similar mix-up at the local Blockbuster. I was browsing the shelves and spotted American Psycho 2. It reminded me that I hadn't actually seen the original, so I told the clerk I was looking for American Psycho—thinking of the first one—which happened to be in stock too. It wasn't until I got home that I realized she had handed me the sequel...😵

crimsonmoose3 said:Man, I ran into this exact same thing at the local Blockbuster. I was browsing the shelves, spotted Psycho II, and realized I hadn't actually seen the original yet. So, I told the clerk I was looking for Psycho—thinking of the first one—and they happened to have that too. It wasn't until I got home that I realized they'd handed me the sequel instead.

You really have to specify which sequel you're after, because let's be honest, the people working at those video rental places aren't exactly known for their sharp wits.😕 😲 🙂 🙂

So here are the terms:

GIRLS (1st or 2nd year Econ or Law students) who are outgoing and good-looking for work at Blockbuster wanted by Darko. Phone number available on 7/8/2006.
Ad for next issue. Received 6/19/2006.
Ad ID: 2360169
Jobs » Listings

2. GIRLS/HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATES who don't need to take finals but plan to study Econ or Law, attractive and communicative for work at Blockbuster, wanted by Darko. Tel. 555-0199
Posted: 6/15/2006. Ad ID: 2341202
Jobs » Listings

link

And you guys act surprised. 😁

Back when the "Cherry" video store was still open, this absolute goddess worked there, and honestly, she was the only reason I even bothered renting movies... 😍
Then, just a few months ago, the shop shut down for good... 😢 🙂

brightscout63 said:Probably the guy who told me this movie was "insanely hilarious."

Well, you’re just as clueless for believing that...
when you end up with absolute garbage like this.
It reminds me of when I was working on that one film starring Eddie Murphy—you know, the one with the babysitter bullshit.

Imagine getting five or six copies delivered on a Saturday and having your boss tell you that you have to move them that very night.
Anyone asking for a comedy recommendation? You have to lie through your teeth and swear it's some riotous, gut-busting masterpiece just because your manager ordered you to clear the shelf.
That’s actually why I got fired. It was written all over my face; I couldn't even hide the fact that I was lying anymore.
And it was always those small-minded idiots looking for recommendations.
I’d suggest a decent movie, and they’d complain it was too heavy, claiming they just wanted to relax. Then they’d demand something like *Fast & Furious*—just pure, mindless action and adrenaline.
Heh. That’s why I got replaced by someone who just stands there blinking innocently like a lamb before the slaughter.
Blink, blink.

And honestly, if people who actually worked at a Blockbuster could talk about how stupid some of these members are...
you could write a book. A Bible, even.

By the way, in the last four years, I can count the number of decent comedies on one hand, and I don't think a single American one made the list.
It bothers me that quality humor isn't being made anymore. Now, it's all about the DVD cover art—designed specifically to target a certain demographic. So yeah, you're just letting anything slide, too.😎

casualraven said:Back when I used Blockbuster, there was this one stunning girl working there, and honestly, she was the only reason I even bothered renting movies... 😍
Then the shop shut down a few months ago... 😢 🙂

Are you talking about that girl with the blue hair?

Susan Bishop60 said:Is that the blonde girl?

Man, she's the one in that video somewhere featuring George Patton🙂